Chapter 21

Wrong Crowd

He says you know those people don't like me

Why d'you wanna be one of them

But I can't help it, I don't know how

I guess I'll always be hanging round with the wrong crowd

My bow hangs limply between my fingers as I trudge slowly towards where Cato said Rue and Eli were at, near a water source. Tears are still running down my cheeks from watching Zadie's death. I probably cried over her for ten minutes before I had to leave so the hovercrafts could pick up her body.

It's early morning, and the sun is now just starting to rise, turning the sky a dark gray color. I can function on little to no sleep, and I slept about four or five hours in the tree, so I'm not tired.

I'm not paying much attention to my surroundings until I come across a bush full of what look to be blueberries. Years of foraging in the woods gave me knowledge of all edible and poisonous plants. It's always made me wary of what I can and can't eat, since certain poisonous plants can look like exact replicas of edible ones.

For example, horse nettle look like tomatoes. Pokeberries look like a cross between grapes and blueberries (which anyone who didn't know better could mistake as edible.) Wisteria looks like green beans. If you aren't sure what a plant is, don't eat it. Ever. Even if some plants aren't lethal, they can cause some serious damage.

I walk up to the berries and study the bush. There are subtle differences from these berries compared to blueberries. The color is slightly darker and the stems are pointed and curved. I recognize it instantly as nightlock- the combination of deadly nightshade and hemlock- but crush a berry between my fingers to be sure. The inside is black and filled with lots of small seeds, whereas the inside of a blueberry is slightly green and contains few seeds.

I drop the crushed berry from my fingertips onto the ground and grab a leaf to wipe the bit of juice off that got on my fingertips. If I accidentally ingested even a little of this I'd be dead in a minute.

Making sure the juice is wiped completely from my hands I grab two leaves. One I use as a glove to grab more than a handful of the berries, and the second I fashion into a small bag to carry them in, and then cut off a very small portion of my shoelaces to tie the leaf together so it won't fall apart. I place it in one of the pockets of my cargo pants.

Who knows, maybe I can use the nightlock as a poison to dip my arrows or knives in.

I continue on my path for what feels like miles before I hear a buzzing sound. I stop walking, trying to hear better. The buzzing fades for a couple seconds before starting again. I look for the source; scared it could be a poisonous insect like a tracker jacker.

The buzzing continuously stops before starting again, so I'm unsure where it is. I suddenly hear it coming from my left and spin around.

The dragonfly lands on the bark of a tree, and I quickly dismiss it as non-threatening and take a step back in the direction I was originally going. I've never been thirstier in my life. From the running to the fighting to the crying, I know I'm extremely dehydrated. I would think that Haymitch would've sent me some water by now but there have been no parachutes. I hear the buzzing close to my ear as it flies past and lands on a tree. I pause as I remember something Gale once said about a year ago when we were all hiking to the lake to swim after hunting.

Rory and I hang back from Gale and Katniss as we talk quietly about Vick.

"I don't know if he's cut out for it. Every time he works on someone and they make a noise in pain he flinches like he's feeling it too. Maybe medicine isn't his thing," Rory says.

I shake my head quickly. "No, that's not true. I mean, yeah he does flinch, but that just means he's human. It took me a year before I started having to desensitize myself from the sounds the patients would make. It still gets to me sometimes. Vick's only fourteen and has been at it two months. He's doing well. Hell, he's better than I was at two months."

Rory sighs, looking out at the mountains. "I guess. I just worry about him. He's sensitive. If someone dies on his watch he'd be crushed. Probably wouldn't get over it."

"Like I said, that just makes him human. I remember every person I wasn't able to save. I remember their faces, their names. It's depressing," I whisper. I study Rory's face, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration. He looks over and we lock eyes.

"But Rory, when I do help someone, save their lives, there's nothing else like it in the world," I shake my head, smiling a bit. "I can't even describe the feeling, but it makes it all worth it."

His face relaxes and he opens his mouth to speak when I see in the corner of my eye Gale's closed fist fly up in the air, signaling us to stop moving and be quiet. I scan my surroundings, drawing up my bow, looking for whatever it is he sees. Maybe another wild dog.

Gale points to a dragonfly that's resting on a bush.

I lower my bow and shake my head. Seriously? He stopped us to look at a stupid bug?

He turns towards us and puts his finger to his lips, motioning to be quiet when he sees I'm pissed off and about to speak up. He crooks his finger, and Rory and I share a look before silently walking towards them.

We study the bug, wondering what's so special about it. The eyes are different from a normal dragonfly, but otherwise I see no difference.

I have to concentrate to make out Gale's voice because he's so quiet. "It's a damselfly. These things stay close to the water. Not that you'll need to know this because we know every body of water in these woods, but whenever you see one it means you're close to a water source. Look at the eyes-they're smaller and farther apart than a dragonfly, but you have to pay attention. Its body is skinnier, and the wings are spaced slightly different. It's hard to get close enough to them to notice the difference, though."

"So that means we're close to the lake," Katniss whispers. The dragonfly suddenly flies away, and we all startle a bit at the abruptness of it.

Gale nods his head and we all continue on walking. Sweat drips down the back of my neck and I walk a little faster, looking forward to the relief of the cool lake.

"How'd you know that anyways? Looked the same to me," Rory says.

"Dad told me," Gale murmurs. "When he showed me the lake for the first time."

I take a few steps closer to be sure that it's a dragonfly I'm seeing. I am sure to mask the sounds of my footsteps so that the insect doesn't fly away, and make sure that my body won't cast a shadow over it.

I'm about a foot away when I recognize the very subtle differences.

"Damselfly," I whisper to myself in shock.

I smile widely in relief. The knowledge that I'm not far from water suddenly makes me even thirstier if that's possible.

"It's a damselfly," I laugh, and then wonder if I'm delirious from the dehydration. The insect flies away at the sound of my voice.

I laugh again looking towards the sky. "Thank you, Gale!"

I have a sudden motivation to continue onwards, despite my aching limbs and dry mouth.

I probably would've stopped soon, giving up on finding water. But thanks to Gale, I recognized the damselfly and know that I'm so close.

I decide to trust my instincts and go in the same direction as I was before, even though the water could be anywhere in a half-mile radius from where I am now.

As the time passes, the sun intensifies and the cold air from the night starts to go away. I push up the sleeves of my jacket, trying in vain to ignore Zadie's blood crusted on my hands.

I walk for a while before I notice the dirt on the ground is softer. I stop and crouch down, scooping up the dirt in my palm and rubbing it together. It's damp.

I start jogging forward, and after a minute I can see a very small stream.

Once I get to it I drop to my knees and wash my hands of the blood first, and then I splash water on my face. I scoop the water into my hands and am about to drink it when I realize that the water might not be drinkable.

I drop my hands slowly from my mouth. "Damn it!"

I don't have any water purifiers, only my precious bow and arrows. I lean back and sit on ground, covering my face with my hands.

I suddenly look up to the sky, hoping there's a camera trained on me.

"Haymitch," I call out somewhat quietly, partly because I don't want anyone in the surrounding area to hear me, and partly because my mouth is so dry it's hard to form words properly. "I could really use some iodine or something."

I wait a few moments and nothing comes.

"Haymitch, please," My voice breaks on the last word.

When a few minutes pass and nothing comes I bury my head in my knees, trying to figure out what to do.

It's hard for District 12 to get sponsors, so I'm not surprised I don't receive anything. But I can't think of anything else to do. I could try drinking the water but it might make me sick and unable to defend myself. I'll die from dehydration but the consequences of drinking the water may be just as deadly.

I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down so I can think clearly.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I barely notice the soft beeping that signals the sound of a parachute. I jump up, searching the sky for the approaching gift. The bold D12 on the tin is getting closer. I jump up to grab it and quickly open it. I'm shocked to find a bottle of iodine, but also a canister with a clip attached, two small pieces of bread, and a folded piece of paper. I quickly fill the canister with water and put a few drops in. While I wait for the iodine to take effect, I read the note.

From D9. For Zadie.

Stay near the water. Allies are close.

Love- H

Tears fill my eyes when I comprehend the note. Zadie's district sent this for me, in honor of Zadie. I recognize the grains and seeds in the bread that signifies that it's from district 9.

"For Zadie," I whisper to myself, turning the bread over in my hands.

I look up to the sky, holding the bread up a little. "Thank you district 9," I say, my voice clear but a little wobbly.

By this point the iodine has taken effect and I greedily gulp down the water. When I'm done I refill the canister and put more drops in, then go about eating the bread. I've gone longer without food before, but I'm so hungry I eat both of the small pieces.

Cato and Marvel will be bringing us supplies when the rest of the careers are asleep, but I can't rely on that so I plan to start hunting for more food and to try and find Eli and Rue. Haymitch did say they were close, probably staying in vicinity of the water.

I stand up and clip the full canister of water onto my hip and place the iodine in my jacket pocket. I pick up my bow and swing the arrows onto my shoulder before starting to walk silently into the forest, memorizing what the area looks like so I'll be able to find the brook when I need to.

I start to wonder what Rue and Eli are doing and where they've taken shelter. I would guess that Rue would be up in the trees like me, but Eli can't climb trees to save his life, as seen in training.

Boom.

I startle when the cannon pierces the quiet. My heart races, wondering who it could be.

I start walking a bit faster, but still silent, wanting to find Rue and Eli. Cato said Thresh was in the wheat field. I wonder if he's left to find Rue or if he's still hiding out.

My pace slows as I see movement on a tree. I lift my bow up and draw the string back.

The arrow pierces the squirrel right in the eye. I walk up and with happiness notice the squirrel has a good amount of meat. I have to use a bit of strength the pull the arrow and squirrel out of the wood.

I decide not to skin the squirrel now, and wait until later when I'm hungry. I wish I had a bag, since I have no idea where I'd put the damn thing.

I'm sighing in frustration when I suddenly hear a rustle of leaves that's too unnatural to be from wind.

I hold my breath as I drop the squirrel and bring my bow up, ready to shoot.

I turn in a small circle, looking for the source of the sound. Maybe it's more game.

I take a deep breath, waiting for another sound.

A few moments pass before I see a figure step from behind a tree. I'm about to let the string go when I notice the hands raised in the air and register the face.

I mouth his name before lowering my bow and running forward, wrapping my arms around Eli tightly.

"Prim," He murmurs into my ear as he squeezes me just as tightly.

I let go of him and stand back to assess him for injuries. His clothes are dirty and he has a scratch on his right arm, but otherwise he looks fine.

"You're okay," I say before hugging him again. "I was just looking for you."

"So were we."

"We?" I pull back and scan the nearby forest for the little girl. "Where's Rue? Cato said you guys were together."

Eli's eyebrows shoot up, "You ran into each other?"

"Long story. Where's…" I trail off as Eli points up into the trees.

I see a small head poking out from the trees and smile.

I drop my bow and run to the base of the tree she's in. "Come on out, little bird!"

I see her giggle before she scrambles down the tree. I stumble back a step as the 12-year-old leaps into my arms.

"I thought we'd never find you," Rue whispers in my ear.

I pull back and run my hand over her hair, scanning her like I did Eli to make sure she's okay.

I run my thumb over her cheek affectionately before stepping back. I look at both of them. "Thank goodness you're both okay. I was so worried that last cannon…" I swallow the bile creeping up my throat at the thought.

"We're okay. But you aren't," Rue says, her eyes worried as her hand comes up to brush my bruised neck from where Sylar choked me.

"What happened?" Eli demands.

I bend down to pick up my bow and wave it slightly in their direction. "I went to get this."

Rue's eyes widen while Eli's face is dark, his eyes stormy.

"You went to the Cornucopia? During the bloodbath? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I needed something to defend myself with! I was thinking that this was my best chance at making sure we survive as long as possible in here! I was thinking that this is my best advantage, since I've been using a bow since I was 10!" I glare at him.

He pinches the bridge of his nose as he takes a deep breath before looking back up at me and raising his eyebrows, "Well? What happened?"

I cast my eyes downwards and nudge the ground with my foot. "Got into a bit of a fight with the boy from seven but got away. Then got into it with his district partner. I was seconds from dying when Cato killed her. He helped me get away and then I ran. What have you guys been doing? Run into any problems?"

Rue shakes her head. "We haven't even seen anybody but Cato and Marvel. We've just been hiding in the trees," she smiles then looks at Eli, "well, I've been hiding in the trees. Eli can only get up two branches so he stays there to keep guard."

I laugh as Eli smiles and shakes his head in an affectionate way at Rue.

"Well I heard you have good aim with a strawberry," I tease Rue, nudging her.

Her cheeks turn pink and she has a shy smile on her face. "Well I had to get his attention without alerting the careers. Seemed the only way…" she giggles.

Eli turns suddenly serious. "What happened when you ran into him? Did you see the careers?"

"Marvel distracted them so he could talk to me. Told me where you guys were and gave me a couple of knives. He told me to remember the alliance and that he'd find us. Then Callan…" I trail off as my throat tightens, trying to fight off tears.

"Callan what?" Eli demands, his eyes sharp on my face.

I glance at Rue then look at Eli and shake my head slightly. "I'll tell you later," I murmur, hoping he gets the point that I don't want to say in front of Rue. His eyes are a bit sad as he nods.

I walk back a few steps to the tree where I dropped the squirrel. I hold it up for them to see. "Anyone hungry?"

I gave myself five minutes to use the fire to cook the squirrel, just in case someone saw the smoke, then threw some dirt over it instead of water otherwise it would cause even more smoke.

We ate the squirrel in silence. I gave Rue most of mine since I wasn't that hungry because of the bread I ate from district nine. I took small sips of water as they ate.

We ended up searching the area for shelter, something other than a tree so that Eli could be safe too, but after a few hours we ran out of options. All we could find was a tree with thicker branches so Eli could climb up higher and we were close to the water. We settled down there for a while, making small talk about our lives back home. Rue was particularly interested in district 12.

I was sharpening the arrow that I used to kill the squirrel since it got a bit damaged by the wood of the tree it pierced.

A comfortable silence ensued. Ever since the reaping, Eli changed. He was more subdued, not as loud or talkative. But here with Rue, I was seeing the old Eli.

"Do you think we should go find Thresh?" Rue asks suddenly.

"I don't know. Maybe he'll come to us. I mean we have a good set up here with a place to sleep and water. We don't even know where he could be," Eli says gently.

"Cato said he was in the wheat field."

I suddenly hear heavy footsteps and hold my fist up, hoping they get the message to be quiet. I drop the damaged arrow to the ground and get a new one and lift my bow as the footsteps get louder before two figures emerge a few feet away.

"I heard my name," Cato says, a smile lighting up his face.

I lower my bow as Rue runs up to Cato and gives him a hug while shouting his name before doing the same to Marvel.

I hang back as Eli takes a few steps forward; both of us watching the little girl say her hellos.

"You guys actually came," Eli says as he folds him arms across his chest.

Cato looks up from Rue from his position kneeling down next to Rue. His smile fades a little as he looks from me to Eli.

"We said we would," Cato responds evenly.

Marvel jumps in with an easy smile on his face. "We're allies, remember? Plus, we brought you some things."

It's then that I notice the bags they carry- two on each of their backs.

I keep my distance away from them as Eli steps forward to examine the packs. I hold the bow tightly in my hands as I watch Marvel start to go through the packs with Eli and Rue.

I feel Cato's eyes on me and I try my hardest to avoid his gaze, pretending like I'm interested in what Marvel's saying.

Results? Unsuccessful.

I look up and catch his eyes before awkwardly looking away.

I hear his heavy footsteps as he moves in my direction. I squeeze the handle of the bow tight enough it starts to hurt. He stands next to me and we both gaze at the trio in silence.

"I'm sorry about what happened to that girl," he murmurs quietly as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Her name was Zadie," I say a little too sharply. "And it's not like you're the one that tortured her to the point where she felt she has to kill herself."

He inhales sharply and shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"It's sick. That someone can do something so evil as to cut off a young girls limb for pure enjoyment while grinning. To plan a way to make her feel the worst pain imaginable and be excited about it. And I didn't even do anything to help but hold her hand and sing while the life faded from her eyes," I choke out.

I see him shake his head out of the corner of my eye. "You couldn't have done anything. You would've just ended up…dead, too, and that wouldn't help her. That wouldn't have helped anyone. That would've made so many people…" He trails off, his fists clenching.

I draw my eyebrows together, trying to guess what he was going to say. "Would've made people what?"

"Wilco killed Lana," he says, changing the subject.

I finally look at him. "What?"

He meets my eyes; examining them and making me feel exposed. Vulnerable. Like he knows all my secrets.

"In her sleep. Just snapped her neck. They had been bickering and he said she had gotten on his nerves."

That must've been the cannon I heard when I was looking for Eli and Rue.

I picture the girl in my head with her short brown hair and cunning cat eyes. Yeah, she was a career- held down a girl as she got her arm chopped off. But I wonder if we were in an alternate universe where the hunger games didn't exist, where we weren't forced into these situations, if she would be a different person, someone who didn't deserve to die.

I shake my head and look back at Rue as she examines the apples in her hands. "That's a career for you."

I can still feel him looking at me.

"Can we please talk about that day in the training center?" He suddenly asks, his voice nervous.

I laugh bitterly. "It was nothing I haven't heard a million times before, trust me. Although me tasting like coal dust is a new one. Might be true," I shrug nonchalantly, pretending like my insides don't feel like someone is twisting them. "I wouldn't know. Haven't kissed anyone else before."

He turns to face me, his hands reaching out to touch me, but I step back before he can. "Prim, pleas-"

"It's fine, Cato," I smile tightly at him. "We both could be dead soon anyways. It doesn't matter. We're just allies, nothing more."

His eyes turn angry as he takes a step towards me causing me to take one step back. "No, we're not just allies."

I laugh humorlessly, but stop when I have to smack his hands away when he grabs my hands.

"Don't touch me," I say, my voice breaking embarrassingly.

His eyes soften and he looks so sad it makes my heart twist painfully in my chest. "Prim-"

"Wouldn't want you to get your hands dirty," I reply in a hard voice.

I step away, ignoring him when he calls out to me. "Prim wait-"

I start walking towards Marvel, Eli, and Rue, pretending like I don't notice them staring between Cato and me.

"So what's in the packs?" I ask, trying to get them to start talking again.

Marvel and Rue quickly start explaining the different foods and some useful items, like the night vision goggles and the pieces of rope and the sleeping bag, but Eli just stares at Cato with hard eyes. I don't look back to see Cato's expression, especially when I notice Eli's eyes soften minimally.

When Marvel finishes talking, he stands up and wipes the dirt off his legs from sitting on the ground. "We should get going. They could wake up any minute."

Marvel's eyes go in Cato's direction and pity fills them. "Sorry, man."

I eye Marvel in confusion as he says this to Cato. Sorry for what? Leaving?

"I wish you could stay," Rue says sadly, interrupting my thoughts. "Maybe soon you could leave them?"

Cato steps towards Rue and pats her head affectionately. "Once a few of the careers… pass, we'll be able to come with you guys. Not just to sneak supplies, but to stay. Okay?"

Rue nods solemnly, watching as Marvel and Cato grab the weapons they brought with them- a sword and a spear.

Cato suddenly reaches behind his back and grabs something that was tucked into his belt. "Oh, 12, I forgot about this. I wasn't sure if you knew how to use a weapon, so I brought you something simple. Better than nothing," he says to Eli as he hands him a serrated hunting knife, much like the one Callan used to saw off Zadie's arm.

"Is that…" I trail off, tears filling my eyes.

Cato and Marvel look at me with confusion as I stare at the knife now in Eli's hand. Cato's eyes light up with understanding and he vehemently shakes his head. "No, it's not. Callan still has it."

Marvel looks between us curiously. "Prim, can I talk to you for a second?"

I look at him suspiciously before nodding, and he leads me out of sight of the others, making sure to walk far away.

He looks at me more serious than I've ever seen him. "Callan has it out for you personally. I don't know why, but he has some sick obsession with you. You need to be especially careful of him. Cato knows he's dangerous, but I don't think he realizes the fact that he's gunning for you. Him and Wilco have gotten close, I heard him talking to Wilco about you, and the things he was saying…" he trails off, his eyes going hard.

He puts his hands on my shoulders. "Please, please be careful of him. I wouldn't wish any of what he's planning on anyone, especially you."

I nod slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I will, I promise."

Relief fills his eyes as he nods. "Good. We should get back to the others," he says as he looks up to the sky, "the career's are going to be up soon."

"You are a career, too, you know," I tease him, trying to lighten the tense mood.

He smiles tightly. "No, I'm not. Neither is Cato. I think you know that."

I look towards the ground and nod. "Yeah. Yeah I do know that."

We start walking back slowly when a thought pops into my head. "Why couldn't you tell me that in front of the others?"

Marvel looks nervous for a second before he masks it. "Because Cato doesn't know. And he probably shouldn't."

"What? Why? Why does it matter if he knows or not?"

He turns to face me again as we slow to a stop. "Because if Cato knew of the things Callan has planned, and they somehow happened and wasn't able to stop him…" he shakes his head. "He would-"

Marvel stops abruptly as his eyes widen at something over my shoulder. I panic and draw back an arrow as I turn to face whatever has Marvel so worried. I see Rocco, district 7, with an axe raised as he runs in my direction. District 7. Lumber. His district is lumber, so he definitely knows how to use that axe, just like his mentor, Johanna Mason, knew how to use hers to win.

I remember him attacking me with the bolas just yesterday and see the bruise on his temple from where I hit him.

I just let the arrow go when I'm knocked off balance as Marvel jumps in front of me.

The arrow only lands in Rocco's shoulder because my aim was off since I was knocked off balance, but it's too late as Rocco has already swung the axe into Marvel's side, piercing deeply.

I scream Marvel's name as the blood gushes from his wound. I run to catch him just as he falls, and I fall to the ground with him, forgetting about Rocco.

"No, no, no, please no," I moan as I examine the axe still stuck in Marvel's side. If I pull it out, he'll bleed out quicker. His jacket is unzipped, so I just have to rip his shirt open to examine the wound.

"Oh, god, it's too deep. It's too deep, I can't fix this," I cry out.

Marvel is wheezing, his eyes darting everywhere in a panic. I can tell his lung was punctured by the way he's breathing.

There's nothing I can do to fix this, nothing anyone could do except maybe surgery, and there's probably only a 10% chance he'd survive that.

"Prim," he gasps out.

"I'm going to pull it out, okay? Just try to breat-"

I scream as I feel something hard press against my neck, dragging me back a few feet. I reach up to grasp it and recognize it as an arrow. Rocco is behind me using the arrow I had pierced his shoulder with to choke me, dragging me away from Marvel and putting pressure on my already bruised and swollen throat from when his district partner was choking me just yesterday.

He suddenly drops the arrow from around my neck and steps in front of me. Before I can even take a much-needed breath of air, his fist drives into my stomach twice, making breathing even harder.

"You stupid bitch," he hisses as he straddles my stomach, backhanding me across the face.

I scream again as he punches my jaw, my head twisting to the side with the force of the blow.

"Now I can't use my own arm because of your stupid arrow."

"Eli! Cato!" I scream as loud as I can with my damaged throat.

He roughly grabs my jaw and slams it upwards, causing my teeth to slam together. "Shut up."

My hands are free, so I reach up and dig my fingers into the wound on his left shoulder that was caused by my arrow. He yells out and falls backwards to get away from me.

I'm in so much pain from the beating I've taken that I lay there for a minute to catch my bearings. When I see Rocco starting in my direction again, I kick my feet directly into his stomach, and he falls forward as he hunches over. I'm trying to aim another kick at his bowed head, but only catch his right shoulder and barely do any damage. I'm slow to pull my foot back so he's able to catch my ankle with his hand and twist it enough that I cry out.

Can Eli and Cato not hear me screaming? Did Marvel and I go too far away from the camp?

Thinking of Cato reminds me of the knives at my back secured into my belt.

As Rocco twists my ankle again, I twist my body with it so I can reach the knife at my back.

I pull it out just as I hear my name being called out from what sounds like very far away.

He's just about to straddle me again when I dig the knife into his neck.

Boom.

I hear the cannon sound as he falls forward onto me, smothering me with not only his body but also his blood.

It's gushing, flowing like a river onto my face.

I scream and scream and scream as I try to push him off me, some of his blood getting into my mouth. My screams cut off as I gag on it.

Boom.

"Prim!" an extremely panicked voice calls out.

"Prim!" It somehow screams even louder, the voice cracking on my name.

I'm sobbing, trying to push Rocco's body off of mine.

The weight lifts off of me, and I'm surprised at my own strength but then realize it was just Eli pulling the body off of me. Cato is suddenly crouched down holding my face gently but firmly as he scans my face and body for injuries.

I can barely make out his panicked face through my tears.

I quickly scramble up and crawl backwards until my back hits a tree and I'm several feet away from him.

I cry and cry, gasping for breath, not even noticing my pain anymore as I register that I just took someone's life.

I scream and cradle my head, thinking that maybe if I squeeze my head hard enough I can push the image of the knife protruding from his neck from my mind. I can still taste his blood in my mouth as I scream.

I feel someone tugging on my hands, trying to pull them away from where they're clutching at my head.

My pathetic strength is no match for this person however, and they manage to drag my hands away, unlatching my nails from where they dig into my skull.

I stop screaming and just start crying uncontrollably. I can't see who it is that is grasping at my face, but they try to get me to focus as they repeatedly call my name with a shaky voice. I try to dislodge the grip by shaking my head and pulling at the hands, but they hold firm on my face.

I blink the tears from my eyes just enough to focus on Cato's face, the tears in his eyes he watches me cry and gasp for breath.

"Come back to me, Prim," he says over and over.

Come back. Come back. Come back. Prim. Prim. Prim.

I feel the thickness of the blood on my face and neck and start clawing at my skin, trying to get it off.

"Get it off of me! Get if off!" I scream in his face, not even noticing him flinch.

I can feel my skin opening up from where my nails catch my skin as I try to get the blood off.

"I want it off. Just get it off," I gasp out. "Please."

I feel something moving at my hip and then water is suddenly being poured on my face, mixing with my tears. I try to slow my breathing as Cato uses water and a piece of cloth to wipe Rocco's blood from my face gently.

I stare into his navy blue eyes, filled with tears he doesn't let fall, as he washes the blood away. If only he could wash the memories from my mind as easily as the blood.

"All done," he croaks out as he finally meets my eyes. "It's off."

My crying has slowed and I feel slightly numb.

"I want to go home," I whisper, clutching his wrists before he can pull them fully away. "Please just take me home. Let me go home."

He shakes his head as a tear trails down his face, his eyes wide. "Prim, I'm so sorry. I wish I could but I-I can't."

I slowly let go of his wrists and wrap my arms around my knees and rest my chin on them, staring at Marvel's lifeless body a few feet from Rocco's.

I slowly get on my hands and knees and crawl over to Marvel. I push his hair out of his eyes that are left open staring at the sky.

I wait for him to blink, for his chest to rise and fall as he breathes, but nothing happens. My fingers eventually drift over his eyes, closing them.

Eli had pulled the axe out of his side, so I slowly zip up his jacket, covering the wound.

With his eyes closed and his wound covered he looks as if he's sleeping.

From the cannon that followed Rocco's, I know deep down it's not true, but I hold onto the thought that he's just sleeping, just resting. I clutch it close to me as if it's a tangible thing; I repeat it over and over in my head as I stare at his face.

"Prim," someone says quietly behind me as I continue running my fingers through Marvel's hair even after it's out of his face.

"We need to leave before the hovercrafts come."

I turn my head around to meet Cato's eyes. We stare at each other for long moments before I turn back to Marvel and brush my lips against his forehead.

I stand up and turn away from his body, trying to avoid seeing Rocco, but it's impossible not to notice the bright crimson, the knife- my knife- sticking unnaturally out of his neck.

I wrap my arms around myself, feeling like I'm holding myself together. That if I let go, the broken pieces will shatter to the ground.

I start walking mechanically towards where my bow is lying on the ground. As my fingers wrap around it, Cato says my name quietly.

I just shake my head. "Don't. Just… don't," I mutter so quietly I wonder if he even heard me.

Eli brushes by me, his hand trailing down my arm reassuringly before he starts leading the way back to where we had set up a makeshift camp.

The images flash over and over in my head until I don't notice anything around me as I follow Eli mechanically through the woods. I can feel Cato behind me, his eyes boring into my head. I can feel his hand hovering at my back, like he's going to catch me if I fall.

I keep walking through the forest, my hand gripping the bow so tight my knuckles turn white. I don't even feel the pain.

"I'll get you home," I hear Cato say behind me. I stop walking, wondering if I imagined his voice. I look at him over my shoulder, locking my eyes with his determined ones. "I promise I'll get you home."

A/N: Sorry the games are kind of long. It's not all going to be action- the games are just as much about surviving as they are about killing, so I'm going to show those parts too. I would love it if you guys reviewed. Your words give me motivation to keep writing this story. Love and appreciate every one of you for reading this far.