A/N: I decided to kick it up a notch though it's still a strong 'T' rating. Alex has a lot more willpower than I would! Enjoy!

Monday morning, the alarm went off at seven. Alex rolled over, out of Bobby's embrace, to turn it off. In his sleep, he turned toward her, reclaiming her in his arms. She remained in bed with him, listening to his easy breathing and enjoying his embrace, for another fifteen minutes.

Certain he'd gone back to sleep, she slid from his arms and went into the bathroom. As she showered, she thought about Bobby and her skin tingled with arousal and desire, stimulated by the water's stream. She could not deny that she wanted him. It was killing her to keep putting him off, and she had to continually remind herself that ultimately it was for his health and recovery that they were postponing anything more intimate than kissing and caressing. Oh, and cuddling in bed. She liked that the most. She'd never really been much of a cuddler, but he certainly was, and he was turning her into one as well. When Joe had spooned with her and touched her in bed, it was a prelude to sex. Sometimes she had moved away from him, putting the brakes on his intentions, leaving him resentful and almost pouting. With Bobby, any physical contact was a means of comfort and reassurance. She couldn't bring herself to move away from him when he touched her, especially when he held her in bed. In fact, more often she snuggled deeper into his embrace. She slept well in his arms, and he slept well, too-a healing sleep that brought him closer to recovery.

Stepping out of the shower, her body aglow from the heat of the water as well as the heat of her desire for him, she toweled off. Wrapping the towel around her, she slipped back into the bedroom and went into the closet, where he'd insisted she hang the clothes she'd brought from her place. For a moment, she stood there, looking at her few blouses and dresses hanging among his shirts and suits. The sight made her smile. She tried to slide the hangers along the pole silently as she searched for something to wear.

It didn't take her long to choose a white tank top and cream sweater with dark blue slacks. After dressing, she turned toward the bed to get her boots and was surprised to find Bobby awake, watching her. As she looked back at him, he smiled. "I'm glad I didn't sleep through that," he said.

Her cheeks colored and his smile broadened a little. "You could have said something," she chided lightly.

"But then you might have gotten dressed in the bathroom, and I wanted to watch," he explained.

She smoothed her hands along her sides from her breasts down to her hips. "Or maybe...I would have embellished for you," she said with a seductive growl and a wriggle of both her eyebrows and her hips.

She turned away from him and went into the bathroom to brush her hair. She was pleased with herself, convinced she got him back for not letting her know he was watching her. Not that she minded being watched, but she would have enjoy teasing him a little.

As she brushed her hair, distracted by her thoughts, he stepped up behind her and slid his arms around her waist, surprising her. She'd forgotten how stealthy he could be for his size. He kissed her neck and pulled her back against him, holding her close. "I have to go to work, Bobby," she said, trying to swallow the tremor in her voice as he continued to kiss her neck.

"Don't go," he murmured as he drew her sweater off her left shoulder and kissed her some more.

She was tempted—sorely tempted—but her sense of duty won out. As much as she wanted to stay, she knew she couldn't. She was finding it more and more difficult to keep telling him no. He was going to break her resolve before his body was prepared to handle the rigors of sex. She didn't want to have to stop once they started.

She couldn't stop herself, though, as she turned slowly in his arms, catching his mouth as she came around and allowing him to linger. He angled his head, deepening the kiss and sending them both reeling. She gently broke the kiss and stepped back into the wall, breathless. Only one word filled her mind, repeating itself over and over. Wow. Wow. Wow...

As the spinning slowed and she recovered, three more words joined the one. Oh, my God. Looking toward him, she noticed that he was also leaning against the wall, recovering more slowly. "Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

He nodded, unable to speak. It was only a kiss, he thought. But what a kiss... His self-control wavered mightily as he restrained himself from grabbing her and undressing her on the way back to the bedroom.

She moved away from the wall, testing the stability of her knees before she stepped up to him. She knew if she didn't go now, she might not leave. "Take it easy today. I'll see you tonight."

Another nod from him and she placed her hand along the side of his face, leaning up to give him another kiss, this one gentle and loving. "I love you," she whispered.

As she stepped back, he grabbed her hips and looked into her eyes. "I love you, too," he said, punctuating his words with such intensity she could feel them.

She lingered in his arms, eyes locked, for a moment longer. With a brief touch of her fingers to his lips, she withdrew from him and returned to the bedroom to get her boots. Then, she was gone for the day.

Bobby puttered aimlessly about the apartment for most of the morning, straightening things that didn't need straightening, and cleaning things that were not dirty. He washed all the dishes and rearranged the contents of his kitchen cabinets, trying to occupy his mind with mild physical activity but it wasn't working. He wasn't up for the rigorous activity his mind needed, so the next best thing was company. Picking up his phone, he dialed a number he'd memorized nearly five years ago.

Thirty minutes later, a knock broke the silence of the apartment. The door swung open and Mike Logan sauntered in. "Okay, I'm here. You're lucky I wasn't busy. I..." He stopped and looked around the room. "Wow. When did you get bit by the Christmas bug? I have a wreath on my door and a ceramic tree on the TV."

"Alex did this."

"And you let her?"

"Why not? She did a nice job, and it made her happy."

Mike smiled. "That's what it's about, isn't it? It made her happy."

Bobby shrugged. "It was a small thing. Feel up to going with me to Midtown?"

"Sure. You got permission from the warden to come out to play?"

"Don't be an ass. I don't need permission for anything. Besides, I can't get her something for Christmas if she goes shopping with me." He slipped his wallet, his badge and his cell into his pockets and grabbed his keys. Mike followed him out the door.

As they waited for the elevator, Mike asked, "You were looking pretty rough when I saw you last week. How are you feeling?"

"Better."

Mike nodded. "You look a lot better. There's more color in your face and it doesn't look painful when you move. You had me hurting for you. See what a little TLC will do for you?"

Bobby smiled. "Well, T and C, yeah. I'm still waiting for the L. She's afraid I can't handle it and it'll set back my recovery."

"What do you think?"

He shrugged. "She's probably right. She usually is."

They got into the elevator with the elderly couple that lived on the floor above, Mr. and Mrs. Wieczorek. The short, stocky, grandmotherly woman smiled at him. "Robert! We have not seen you much lately. Where have you been hiding?"

"I've been out of town, but I'm back now."

"Good! You must come for Christmas dinner. My Elsie cannot make it from Boston and Karl is stationed in Iraq,"

Bobby hesitated for a moment. "I, uh, I'm flattered, Mrs. Wieczorek. I'd love to join you, but I, ah..."

Mike leaned closer to the old woman and confided, "What my friend is so eloquently trying to tell you is he has a girlfriend."

Mrs. Wieczorek's face lit up. "You do? Wspaniały! Too long, you have been alone. Bring her with you! You will both be welcome!" She patted his arm affectionately as the elevator stopped in the lobby. "We will look forward to seeing you both."

The elevator doors opened and the couple exited as Mrs. Wieczorek chattered excitedly to her husband in Polish about her plans for Christmas dinner. Bobby glared at Mike as they stepped from the elevator. "What?" Mike asked. "I didn't want her to get the idea that you and I are together."

Bobby laughed. "Heaven forbid," he concurred as he left the building.

Mike stood there for a moment, trying to decide if he'd just been insulted. He finally settled on yes and darted out the door after Bobby.

When Alex got off work, as anxious as she was to check on Bobby, she went to her own home first after her workout at the gym. She showered quickly and changed her clothes. After making sure everything was fine and watering her plants, which looked droopy, she went into her bedroom to gather a few more essentials. She paused when she turned from the closet and saw Joe's picture on her dresser. Walking to it, she lifted the framed photo and laid her hand on her late husband's face. "I've known him for a long time, Joe. He's a good man, and I love him. It's been a journey but I think I'm where I was meant to be."

She kissed the picture and returned it to the place it had occupied for longer than she had been with him in life. She'd had trouble moving on after he died, but that time was past and her future was waiting for her.

It was almost eight when she got back to Bobby's Brooklyn apartment. The lights were out except for the television. She slipped quietly in the door, locking it behind her. It bothered her that he didn't lock his front door except at night or when he wasn't home, although he did lock it when she was there because she insisted.

He was sleeping on the couch, and she smiled. Setting her bag on the floor, she walked to the couch and sat lightly in the curve of his body, gently stroking his hair. He stirred, stretched and opened his eyes. "Hi," he smiled.

"How do you feel?"

"Not bad. How was your day?"

"Routine. Jimmy says hi. Have you eaten?"

"No. I was waiting for you."

She leaned down and softly kissed him. "I'll fix something quick."

She got up and walked toward the kitchen, fully aware that he was watching her. As she rummaged through the refrigerator, he came up behind her. Unaware he was there, she stood up and stepped back into him. Catching her breath, she jabbed him lightly with her elbow. "I hate when you sneak up on me like that!"

"I didn't sneak," he protested. "I just walked."

"I swear I'm going to tie a bell around your neck."

He laughed softly and placed a kiss in front of her ear. Closing her eyes, she tipped her head to the side. He tightened his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him. She almost dropped the package of meat she was holding. When she reluctantly moved to step away, he released her. "You changed your clothes," he observed.

"I stopped by my place after the gym. My plants needed watering."

She opened the cupboard where the spices were kept and found canned goods. Opening the cabinet where the canned goods once were, she unwittingly located the bowls and coffee cups. "Bobby, what did you do today?"

"Uhm, I was bored, so I washed the dishes and rearranged the cupboards."

She knew she'd washed the dishes last night. The sink had been empty. "What dishes?"

"All of them."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "I've been gone for most of a year. I thought they needed a good washing."

"And you rearranged the kitchen because..."

"I told you. I was bored."

"If I come home tomorrow and find the living room furniture rearranged, I swear I'll handcuff you to the bed."

His eyes brightened. "That idea has some merit..."

She laughed. "Show me where you put the damn spices."

After dinner, they settled on the couch to watch the news. Bobby leaned against the arm with one leg stretched along the back of the couch. Alex settled between his legs, resting back against his body with his arms comfortably around her.

For awhile, the news held his attention...until she absently began to caress his thigh. He nuzzled her hair, breathing in the fresh scent of lavender. Gently nipping her ear, he slid his tongue around to her earlobe, dipping it into the hollow behind. She squirmed which made him groan. He continued his exploration of her ear, traveling down to her neck. She tipped her head to the side, giving him full and easy access to it.

His tender, erotic ministrations caught her off guard and her brain short-circuited. She simply responded to him. Slowly she turned in his arms, seeking his mouth as she stretched her body along his. He began to work off her shirt, but when the fabric cleared her body and the cool air of the apartment nipped her warm skin, she came to her senses. Breaking the kiss gently, she sat back.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked at her, knowing by now he'd done nothing wrong. He tried to calm himself, but the sight of her nipples, hard and erect beneath her bra, only revved him up more. With great reluctance, he picked up her shirt from the floor and handed it to her, watching her pull it back on. He got great reassurance from watching her battle her own body as he battled his, and he knew it was just as difficult for her to withdraw as it was for him to let her.

Disentangling himself from her, he rose from the couch. The warm sleepiness he'd enjoyed before she started stroking his leg was gone. "I, uh, I'm going to take a shower before bed," he said, casting one more heated glance in her direction.

She nodded, understanding. She wished there was some way she could speed up his recovery, but a healing body plodded along at its own pace. She went into the kitchen and took down his bottle of pain medicine. The only way she really had to gauge his pain was by keeping track of how much medicine he was taking. She found the same number of pills in the bottle that had been there the night before when he'd taken his nighttime dose. He hadn't taken any medicine during the day despite his activity level. She smiled, wondering if he had not needed any or if he was just being stubborn. Her money was on stubborn.

She set out two pills and a glass of water for him, then went into the bedroom to change for bed. She considered her blue satin short-sleeved shirt and pants, but changed her mind. Bobby loved the feel of satin a little too much. Besides, he couldn't sleep unless the window was open at least an inch or two, and the temperature was dipping into the low twenties at night. She chose her soft yellow brushed flannel pajamas instead. He still liked the feel of them, and they had the added benefit of being warm.

She was brushing her hair when he came out of the bathroom, wearing just a pair of pajama bottoms. She smiled at him contritely. "Feel better?"

"Yes and no," he answered, trying hard not to sound petulant.

When she turned away, he felt bad and stepped up behind her, running his hands over the soft flannel of her clothes. He made a quiet noise in the back of his throat. She turned her head to look at him, which earned her a soft kiss before he moved away. "I thought flannel would be a better choice than satin," she offered.

He stopped at the door. "Baby," he answered, his voice warm and husky. "You could wear burlap and I wouldn't feel any differently."

He left the room and she trembled. That voice went straight to the parts of her she was trying so hard to control. Without laying a hand on her, he'd notched up her arousal to a nearly unmanageable level. "Oh, Bobby," she whispered to herself as she crawled between the sheets. "What am I going to do with you?"

She considered returning to the couch to sleep, but that would send a message that he'd done something wrong when he had not. Besides, if she was honest with herself, she had to admit she enjoyed being cuddled in his arms all night. Maybe she enjoyed it too much because she found herself unwilling to give it up.

She was having difficulty relaxing because her body was so keyed up, but she settled herself so that she was nearly asleep when he joined her in the bed. He rolled toward her and engulfed her in a warm embrace. His hands began to explore, drawing her back from the edge of slumber. She shifted to protest, gently repositioning his hands, but he silenced her with a soft kiss. "Trust me," he whispered. "Let me do this for you."

"Bobby..."

"Shhh..." he whispered, pulling her close, her back against his chest.

She closed her eyes as his hands continued to roam, first in soft caresses of her stomach and sides, setting her at ease. As her protests died away and she rested more heavily against him, one hand strayed to her chest. She drifted languidly in a twilight sleep as he kneaded her breasts, one after the other, all the while still caressing her torso. A soft hum vibrated in her chest as she shifted against him. His breath hitched silently as he began teasing her ear with his tongue and lightly running the fingers of his free hand along the waistband of her sleep pants.

When he began to tease her nipples, the languid restfulness bubbled away, replaced by a pleasant, floating feeling. She pressed her head back into him, arching her chest against his hand as she pushed her hips back, unconsciously seeking pressure while she shifted against him.

He closed his eyes to the delicious feeling of her ass grinding against him. His breathing rate quickened with his pulse and his muscles trembled with the effort to go slow, to enjoy her body and her reactions to his touch. Oh, God, he wanted her...and her obvious need for him only made that desire increase. His mouth slid down to her neck and he sucked her sensitive skin.

She moaned and tossed her head. She laid her hand over his and moved it lower on her body, bringing it to rest over the area that craved his touch. Smiling, he returned it to her waist. She made a noise and pushed it back down. He smiled as he sucked at her neck, then teased it with his tongue. His fingers rolled her nipples firmly, then lightly tickled them, surprised they could get even harder. He returned his hand to her waist.

His teasing was driving her mad. Her moan ended in a growl of frustration. He laughed softly against her skin as he kissed his way back to her ear. He was going to need another shower, but this was worth it.

When she moved her hand from the top of his and slid it lower on her own body, he figured he'd toyed with her enough. Slipping his hand beneath her waistband, below her own hand which had just begun pressing against her aching self, he slid his hand between her legs. She gasped and arched against his hand when he made contact. That was what she wanted, needed him to do.

She made another noise he'd never heard from her before and unconsciously pressed himself against her. The pressure of that movement felt wonderful and he wanted more. Without realizing it, she complied with his need as she shifted again and began thrusting against his hand, seeking friction and speed. "Oh, God..." she moaned.

He finally gave her what she needed until she arched against him with a cry and fell back into him, panting and sweaty and sated. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, listening to her breathing as it quieted and feeling her heart beat as it calmed beneath his cheek where it rested on her temple.

She drifted again, floating on clouds of pleasure, aware only of internal sensations. Gradually, her awareness expanded to include him, his strong arms holding her as his cheek rested against her head. She stroked his arms and felt more than heard the soft groan rumble through his chest. And there she stopped the expansion, to simply enjoy the world inhabited only by the two of them. She drifted to sleep.

He felt her relax completely and he waited. He'd never wanted her more and he needed her in the worst way. His body ached for her and he desperately wanted the emotional connection he could achieve with her only through love-making. Her fear of causing him any kind of setback was trying his patience.

Slowly and carefully, he slid from the bed. She shifted and sighed in her sleep but didn't waken. When he'd entered the room, he'd been fortunate to catch her just as she drifted to sleep. Her brain remembered that state and returned her to it. He watched her as she slept, and when he felt himself harden again, he cursed his body and went back into the bathroom.

After another shower, he went into the kitchen and downed the pain medicine he'd ignored earlier. His chest hurt, but more than that, he would need the medication's sedating effects in order to fall asleep. It was more effective than liquor. He thought about going outside for a cigarette, another calming mechanism that was bad for his health, but picturing her sound asleep in his bed, he passed on the cigarette and went in to rejoin her in the bed.

Alex stirred in her sleep, deep in the night. Bobby's arms were around her, holding her against his body. One arm rested around her middle while the hand of the other, tucked under her shirt, cupped her breast, engulfing it completely. His face was buried in her hair and he was sleeping soundly. She smiled, content and happy, and easily went back to sleep.