Chapter 31: Myrtle

It was days before Cass and Yo-Yoji contacted him. And when they did, well...

Ernest hung off the side of his bed by his feet, a stony expression on his face. A phone lay on the floor just about a foot away, as if it had been thrown to the ground moments before. "No," he said aloud to himself. "I am not trailing after those losers. Ever." He curled back onto his bed and lay on his stomach, exhaling loudly. "Freaks," he muttered. "They're freaks."

Silence.

"They don't even ask for my help." He snorted smugly. "And boy, could I help them! Probably solve all their stupid problems. Probably save the day. And they'll be all like, 'Oh, Ernest, you saved us! We'll be your humble servants until the day we die!'" He snorted again.

More silence. The house was empty. Ernest's mother had gone out to get groceries, and his father had taken PC to a nearby park. Ernest was alone, with the phone, and Cass's message still running through his head.

"Max-Ernest, Yo-Yoji did it! Lily knows where Myrtle is. She's living downtown, where Yufredo's office is. C'mon, hurry and get down to the bus stop. We'll be cured in no time!"

The excitement in the pointy-eared girl's voice was detestable. Ernest felt his stomach turn just thinking about it. And speaking of stomachs, he was feeling hungry.

Of course, chocolate would do the trick just fine. But noooo, they just had to take it all away. Probably shoved it down their own greedy throats. Ernest's mouth curled into an ugly sneer. Stupid parents. Stupid everything. Why was everyone out to get him? He hadn't done anything wrong. No, not one little thing.

Ernest got off the bed and went downstairs, looked in the pantry for anything even a bit chocolatey, and then called his parents to tell them that he was going out with Cass and Yo-Yoji, his so-called friends. Ick, just the word coming out of his mouth made him ill.

He wasn't, of course. No, Ernest was set on getting his chocolate. After days and days of non-chocolate eating, he was positively ravenous for the sweet treat. There would be some at a convenience store...yes. It was all fitting together perfectly. Ernest smiled, ran upstairs, and snatched a dollar or two out of his bank, which happened to be Albert Einstein's head. He stuffed the bills in his pocket and exited the house with the spare house key in his other pocket.

Yes, things were going fine.

After moments of walking, Ernest rounded a corner and found what he was looking for - a convenience store. He walked in, bought four chocolate bars, and walked out, gnawing on his purchases with gusto.

Then, only three blocks from his own house, he heard a screech.

"Max-Ernest!"

Ernest jumped at the shrill shriek, and turned toward the source, fuming. It was Cass and Yo-Yoji (Naturally, he thought sourly to himself), and their faces were flushed with exhilaration. "Max-Ernest, we found Myrtle! C'mon, she said she'd help us!" said Yo-Yoji, grabbing his wrist while Cass grabbed the other. "C'mon, dude, this is ridiculous!"

"'Ridiculous' is not generally a word with a positive meaning," remarked Ernest dryly as he wrenched his hands away from the two. "And I am not going with you two."

They glanced at one another. Ernest turned away and started to walk home again when a breathless "Wait!" stopped him again.

"What?" he cried, whirling around. "I'm trying to get home, in case you haven't noticed!"

"If you want to go home so badly, why do you keep stopping?" inquired Yo-Yoji.

Silence.

Ernest started to walk away even faster. He heard a great whack! behind him, followed by a surprised "Ow! What? I was just asking!"

"Wait, Max-Ernest!" yelled Cass. Oh, no. They were trying to catch up with him! Ernest sped up, but Yo-Yoji, with his long, lanky legs, caught him by the shoulder and pulled him back.

"Slow down, yo. You're going to blow a fuse or something, running like that," he said. "Besides - we have a deal for you."

Ernest regarded them with suspicion. "What sort of deal?" Normally, of course, he had no patience for silly things such as this, but their eagerness to have him come with them satisfied some sort of instinct in his mind - not to mention piqued his curiosity.

"Chocolate," breathed Cass, finally catching up. "Tons of it. I heard Myrtle has bags and bags of chocolate bars - how else would she keep her weight? She'll be happy to loan you some...if you come with us." Her eyebrows lifted.

Ernest scowled, but his stomach stirred. It'll be great you'll eat chocolate and be the hero save the day yes -

"Okay," he snapped finally, against his better judgement. "I'll come with you. But there has to be chocolate there...or...or I'll - "

"No worries," chuckled Yo-Yoji, flicking his hair behind his ear. "Myrtle has it guaranteed."

Ernest watched them warily. "I'll have to call my parents."

"Go ahead."

And that is exactly what he did.

Author's Note: OKAY, I KNOW IT'S BEEN FOREVER, BUT I HAVE HAD WRITER'S BLOCK. :^( I just wanted you guys to know that I really, really appreciate all the wonderful reviews I've been getting. Each and every one makes me smile. ^-^

Sincerely,

PancakesWithMilk

P.S., Do you guys remember who Myrtle is? ;^)