As I'm sleeping, my vivid and somewhat strange dreams start to make themselves prominent once more.
I'm walking through unknown woods on a worn and old dirt path that has obviously had feet treading on it for years. As I walk, I look around and for miles and miles all I see are bloomed pink roses everywhere, stretching out until it reaches the horizon. I crouch down and examine on of them, and find that unlike any wild roses I've seen before, this particular breed is completely thornless. I try and tug one of them out of the ground, but no matter how hard I yank, it stays put, like someone cemented its roots to the ground. Slightly disgruntled by the stubborn flowers, I stand up and start walking down the trail set in front of me. After following it for a while, the path abruptly ends and I stop right at the edge, not wanting to move forward.
I can't go on; I'll crush the flowers. I think, staring down at the hundreds of them that sit at my feet.
As the thought crosses my mind though, the roses, as if on some sort of mental command, part like the Red Sea, giving me a clear path to walk through them without treading on them. I don't immediately move forward, somewhat freaked out by the fact that I just ordered a plant to get out of the way and it listened, but eventually my curiosity overcomes my caution and I gingerly make my way through the newly made trail. I follow it, through multiple twists and turns that lead me out to the point where I can look around and no longer see the trees of the forest, just the vast sea of uninterrupted pink. I go farther and soon the roses are no longer tiny, gentle flowers, but enormous Redwood sized trees whose buds stretch up to the clouds. I stare up at the sky for a moment, but the leaves of the rose closest to me reach out and push me onward, obviously not having the patience to let me stand and stare in amazement.
"Fine, fine, no need to get pushy." I say, glaring at the leaves for a moment before I keep walking on through this jungle of gigantic flowers. Eventually my trail opens up to a small open field of grass, where Daryl sits plopped in the center. I make my way over to him and look down. He's grasping the most beautiful rose in his hands, but unlike the ones I've seen for miles and miles, this one is a deep and beautiful red rose covered in thorns, however Daryl is clinging to the stem so tightly that I see trickles of blood running from his hands and down his arms.
"Daryl! You're bleeding!" I frantically exclaim. I make my way so that I'm in front of him and bend down, my small hands on top of his.
"Let go of that rose, you're hurting yourself." I say, trying to unclench his fierce clutch on the flowers so I can see his hands and clean them up. Daryl shakes his head no though, refusing to let go of the rose for whatever reason, ignoring everything I've said.
"Daryl, LET GO!"
"NO. Not 'til I see if she loves me."
"She who?"
"I don't know…jus' she."
"Fine, how do you figure out if she loves you?" I ask, growing impatient at his childishness.
"Pluck the petals."
"As in 'she loves me…she loves me not'?"
"Yeah."
"Are you fucking serious?"
"No, I'm jokin' with ya…COURSE I'M BEIN' SERIOUS!"
"Jesus H. Christ…then get to it!" I shout, unable to control my anger at this point. Daryl seems to not notice though, releasing the thorn studded stem and bringing his right hand up. For a good 10 minutes, I listen as he intently stares at the flower and drones on and on, saying "she loves me." and "she loves me not." over and over and over again until I'm pretty sure that if I hear the phrase one more time, I'm going to rip the head of the flower off and chuck in into the great wide forest of roses. Finally, he reaches the last small petal left on the rose. He pauses this time, bringing his eyes up so that he's staring me in the eyes. With a small pull he yanks the last petal off and out of his lips tumbles the phrase "She loves me."
I wake up to a rough shake from someone grabbing my shoulder and I get confused for a second, still stuck somewhere between dreamland and reality.
"Git up, I need yer help movin' bodies." Daryl says.
"Come on Redneck, five more minutes." I groan, turning my back to him and snuggling back down into my sleeping bag as I gently drift back off to sleep. Before I know what's happening though, I'm stunned awake once more as the sleeping bag is suddenly ripped off my body, along with all the body heat that had been encased in it over the course of the night. The shock from the sudden rush of cold air makes me fly upwards and stare at him, eyebrows up and wide eyed as I resist the urge to place my heads around his throat
"What the fuck!"
"Up, now. Those geeks are makin' camp smell like hell." Daryl orders before turning around and walking back out of the tent. I rub my eyes, grumbling about my very rude wake up call, eventually coming to terms with the fact that I have to get up and help. I change my clothes, another set of cargo shorts and an ACDC t-shirt, and step out of my tent. When I step out though, my nose is greeted by the lovely smell of rotting flesh, and I throw my arm up over my face, gagging. I give myself a minute to adjust to the stink and make my way to the center of camp. When I make it there, it seems like everyone is up and about, moving bodies, except Andrea who is still just sitting in front of the RV, Amy's face cupped in her hands. My instinct is to go over and try to comfort her again, but I'd rather not have a gun pulled on me again today, so I ignore it and go over to Daryl, Rick, and Lori. I pick up on their conversation as I stop beside Daryl,
"Y'all can't be serious. Let that girl hamstring us?"
"And what do you suggest?" Rick questions.
"Take the shot. Clean, in the brain from here. Hell, I can hit a turkey between the eyes from this distance."
"No." I say, causing Daryl to turn and glare at me. I place my hands on my hips and glare back, "For fuck's sake, let her grieve."
"That dead girl's a time bomb, it's only gonna be a little bit for she starts tryin' ta' chow down on one of us."
"That 'dead girl' is Amy, and when the time comes and she becomes a walker, we let Andrea handle it."
"And is she don't?"
"Then you can shoot her, but until then, let her be." I order, leaning down to grab the arms of some dead geek lying in front of me, "Now help me move this fucker to the fire."
Daryl huffs, obviously not happy about us letting Amy just sit over there when we all know that she's eventually going to turn into a walker, but he's just going to have to suck it up, because I'm sure as hell not letting our humanity fly out the window that fast. We go to pick up one body though, and I recognize the face…she was a girl who stayed here at camp, but I never really got her name. I try to remember something about her, but all that comes to mind is the fact that last night I noticed she had a giggle that sounded like tinkling bells. The two of us reach down and lift her up, making our way towards the pile when Glenn appears between us and the mound of undead, disbelief coloring his face,
"What are you guys doing?! This pile is for geeks, our people go over there."
"Wait, what? We have two piles? Daryl, what the hell?! You didn't tell me we were supposed to be separating these guys into different groups!" I yell.
"What's the difference, they're all infected." Daryl responds, shrugging his shoulders as if it's not really a big deal.
"Our people go in that row over there. We don't burn them! We bury them. Understand? Our people go in that row over there."
"Got it Glenn, we'll be more careful and make sure that we don't put anyone from camp here, right Daryl?" I say, tugging the body my way, directing us to the other stack of bodies that are being buried.
"Ya' reap what ya' sow."
"Shut up Daryl." Glenn threatens as he watches over us, making sure that we put the girl in the right pile.
"Y'all left my brother fer dead. Ya' had this coming." Daryl responds as we give a small swing and toss the corpse on the top of the heap.
"Knock it off, everyone had a rough night last night and the last thing we need is you two trying to kill each other."
Glenn doesn't respond, just walks off all upset. My comforting, motherly side rears her head again and I have to practically beat her down to stop her from making me go after Glenn, knowing that I have to help Daryl finish up here. For the rest of the morning we move bodies from around the camp to both of the piles, each of us keeping our mouths shut. We just finish throwing the last body on a pile when we hear Jacqui screaming,
"A walker got him! A walker bit Jim!"
Daryl, Dale, Shane, Rick, T-Dogg, Morales, Lori, and I all run over to the two, Jacqui keeping her distance from Jim, a shovel up for protection. Jim looks terrified, his eyes leaking a few tears as he places his hands in front of him, trying to defend himself from anything or anyone who might come near him. I look down and notice the fresh blood on his shirt, and my heart sinks, knowing that whatever is about to happen won't end well
"I'm okay, I'm okay!" he pleads to all of us.
"Show it to us." Shane orders.
Jim refuses to lift his shirt and show us though, and looks like he's about to run. Not knowing what else to do, I start trying to bargain with him,
"Jim, Jim…look at me. We're not going to hurt you, we just want to look." I say, taking a small step forward, getting slightly closer to Jim. He doesn't move backwards, but I pause, not wanting him to try and run and then end up getting tackled by one of the men.
"NO. You're all going to kill me as soon as you see it. I don't want to die, I don't want to die…please!"
"Jim, I swear to you, no one is going to try and kill you right now, we just want to look at your wound." I say, taking another step forward, ever so slowly closing the distance between the two of us.
"You may not, but Daryl sure as hell looks like he's about to shoot a bolt through my head. Please, please, I'm okay, I swear, the thing barley got me, maybe I won't be…"
"Shhh, Jim, it's alright, I'm not going to let Daryl kill you, ok? Calm down…if you don't want anyone else coming near you, then what about just me? Let me see it, just me."
The poor man looks at me, his eyes a pool of fear and defeat, before nodding his head,
"You…you can look."
I gingerly walk the last few steps so that I'm right in front of Jim. I look into his eyes and move my hand up to caress his cheek, his eyes closing, moving ever so slightly into my touch,
"It's alright Jim, no one is going to hurt you while I'm here."
He nods his head, a few tears falling from his eyes as he does. I remove my hand from his cheek and down to the hem of his shirt. I gently lift the fabric up and reveal a large bite wound on his left side. I look up at him, a sad smile forming on my lips. I step aside and show the rest of them the unsightly bite mark left on Jim's stomach. Before even a moment has passed, Daryl has his crossbow raised, aimed at Jim. Jim, fear taking over, drops to his knees behind me, crouching down with his hands over his head. My jaw clenches tight and I stand up straight, acting as Jim's shield.
"Daryl, put that fucking crossbow down."
"He's one a them."
"Not yet, he's still Jim and if you're going to try and kill him, you'll have to kill me first." I say, not wavering even an inch.
"Lil' Miss, move."
"No."
"Why don' ya' ever listen?" Daryl asks, unwillingly lowering his crossbow.
"Because I was taught to stand up for what I think is right, not to listen to whatever everyone else says."
I glare at him for a moment before turning myself around so I can look at Jim,
"Come on Jim, they aren't going to get you. Let me take you to your tent so you can lie down and rest for a while, ok?"
He looks up at me and nods his head. I extend my hand out and he tentatively accepts it, the two us working to pull him up right. Once he's standing, I keep a hold of his hand and guide him through the group of onlookers and taking Jim over to his tent. I open the door and get him inside, slowly helping lower him on to his sleeping bag. When he's finally down and comfortable, he turns his head and gives me a sad, small smile,
"Thank you, for everything."
"I was just doing what I thought was right, now get some sleep, I'll be back later to clean your bite and get some food into you, ok?"
He nods and then closes his eyes, sleeping claiming him quite quickly. I stare at him for a second, a few tears escaping my eyes before I quickly wipe them away and stand, leaving the tent. I walk back out to the group, who have moved themselves to sitting right beside the fire pit. Everyone stares as I walk over, and I plant myself right between Rick and Shane,
"He's fine, for now. Now the big question is, what are we going to do about this?"
"I say we put a pickax through his head, and dead girl's too, and be done with it."
"I promised Jim that we weren't going to hurt him, and I'm keeping the promise, we aren't killing him. I mean, come on Daryl, is that what you'd want if you were him? Your friends ramming a pickax in your skull?"
"Yeah, and I'd thank ya' while ya' did it."
"I hate to say it…and I never thought I actually would, but maybe Daryl's right." Dale says, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Dale, you can't be serious? Jim is your friend! I mean he hardly ever left your side and now you're going to treat him like he's some…rabid dog?!" I ask, not believing what I'm hearing.
"I'm not suggesting…"
"I agree with Rose. He's sick. A sick man. We start down this road, then where do we draw the line?" Ricks says, coming to my defense.
"The line's pretty damn clear Rick. Zero tolerance fer walkers or them ta' be."
"No, that area's all fairly grey, Daryl, now shut up and listen for a second. What if we get him help? I heard the C.D.C. was working on a cure." Rick says, determination to save Jim in his eyes.
"Man, that's a stretch right there." Shane says, shaking his head.
"Why? If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the C.D.C. at all costs, wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection…"
"Rick, listen man, you want all those things, right? I do too, okay? Now if they still exist, they'd be at a military base. Fort Benning."
"Whoa, wait, those two are what…100 miles apart?" I ask.
"That is right. But it's away from the hot zone. Now listen to me. If that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'd be safe there." Shane persuades, trying to convince the rest of us to agree with his plan and not with Rick, but my doubts keep me firmly planted on the side of the C.D.C.
"The military were our first line of defense, and they fell just as quickly as the rest of society did Shane, there is no way in hell that Fort Benning isn't overrun by walkers by now."
"And how would you know?" Shane demands, his anger starting to boil just under the surface.
"I don't, but I trust Rick."
"Thanks, now listen, I know that it's a tough decision, but the C.D.C. is our best option. Food, shelter, a possible cure for Jim…"
"Y'all can go lookin' fer aspirin, but someone has got ta' have the balls ta' take care of this damn problem." Daryl says, spinning around and heading in the direction of Jim's tent, loading his crossbow as he goes. I sprint ahead of him and come to stand in between him and Jim's tent door.
"Move."
"No. I told you, I promised him and I'm fucking keeping it, so get." I order, my arms spread wide against the tent door, my small body trying to block as much of the door as I can. Daryl refuses to heed my warning though, and simply tries to shove me out of the way, but I cling to the flimsy material of the tent, not letting Daryl get in that easily. All of the sudden we both hear the click of a pistol being cocked, and freeze. I look behind Daryl and there stands Rick, his gun pointed right at Daryl's head.
"We don't kill the living." he says, his finger on the trigger, ready to pull if Daryl tries to get into the tent once more.
"Funny comin' from a guy who's got a gun pointed at my head."
"Daryl, sit that goddamn crossbow down, or so help me, I'll make you regret it." I shout, fed up with his stupid escapades.
With rage and defeat on his face, Daryl drops his crossbow to the ground. Rick stays frozen in place until I get the chance to crouch to the ground and snatch up the weapon. Once I've got the crossbow in my hands, he lowers his gun and steps away.
"Stay away from Jim's tent." Rick orders before walking back to the camp's center. While he leaves, Daryl and I just glare at each other, the fury seething from each of us making our rage almost palpable. I raise the crossbow up and he snatches it from my hands and stomping away. I shake my head and sit down outside the tent, guarding Jim. A few seconds after plopping down, Carl comes and sits down beside me.
"Hey Little Man."
"Hi Rose…why are you sitting outside of Jim's tent?"
"Because I'm guarding him…some of the other people in camp want to hurt Jim, but I'm not going to let them."
"Why do they want to hurt Jim?"
"Well…last night while trying to protect camp, Jim ended up getting bit by one of the walkers, and now a few of the men in camp think that the best thing to do is to try and kill Jim while he's still human so he can't come back as a walker himself." I say, looking over at Carl, whose eyes have grown three sizes in fear.
"We should kill him, I don't want anyone else to get hurt." Carl says. I shake my head and put my arm around Carl's shoulders, pulling him in close.
"No Carl, we shouldn't. Jim is still a human, and more importantly our friend, and since he's our friend we have to try and help him get better. Carl, do you know what it means to be humane?"
He shakes his head and I continue on,
"Humanity is the kindness and mercy that we have for others, like Jim or Amy. It can be worrying to try and show others who scare us compassion, but we should do it anyways."
"Why? If they scare us, isn't it easier to just not care about them?"
"We should care not because it is the easiest thing to do, but because it's the right thing to do. Understand?"
He nods his head and I lean over and rest my head on top of his. We sit around for around three hours, making sure that no one tries to get in and kill Jim when I hear a rustling around from inside. I quickly open the door and find Jim sitting up, sweat and pain covering his face. I turn to Carl,
"Go over to my tent and find the black backpack, there should be some medical stuff in it. Grab it and a green bottle of water that should be somewhere near it and bring it back here to me so I can clean up Jim's wound, ok?"
"Ok." He says, running away and towards my tent. I watch him leave for a second before crawling inside and help slowly pull Jim up. By the time I've got him sitting up, Carl has made it back with my backpack.
"Thanks Carl, that was really helpful." I say, smiling at him as I unzip the bag, "Now this is going to be kind of icky, so why don't you go sit outside or find Sophia and play?"
"No, I want to watch."
I stare at the young boy for a second, trying to figure out whether it is best to let him stay or not, but in the end I don't really see anything wrong with it.
"Fine, but just make sure you don't get too close to Jim's wound, alright?"
"Alright."
I nod and then reach inside the backpack, pulling out some hydrogen peroxide, gauze, a pair of scissors, latex gloves, Neosporin, and some medical tape. I scan the floor of the tent and find a stick lying on the ground beside me. I grab it and hold it up to Jim's mouth,
"I'm sure some of this is going to sting like hell, so bite this."
Jim nods and slowly unhinges his jaw and then clamps down on the wood. I throw the gloves on open my bottle of water. I pour some of it onto the bite mark and I hear Jim's breath hitch in pain,
"Shh, it's okay Jim. I'll do this as gently and quickly as I can."
I dump a bit more water on to it, getting it as clean as I can. Then I grab the hydrogen peroxide and open it,
"Now this is going to suck, but just push through it."
Jim shakes his head and I pour about a fifth of it out on him. Jim screams and yells through the stick, thrashing around at the pain, but I hold his torso as still as I can while the white bubbles from the peroxide disinfect and kill as many of the germs as it can. Once his pain has subsided and the bubbles have stopped fizzing, I slather him with Neosporin before wrapping the wound in gauze and securing it with medical tape. After I lay down the last strip of tape, I stand and carefully remove my gloves so that I don't touch any of the outside.
"Ok, I think you're all done. Now I'm going to go drop this stuff back off in my tent and get you some food and water. I'll be right back."
"O-ok." Jim manages to whisper out as I grab all of my things and Carl and I leave the tent. We walk in silence as we stroll over to my tent, but once we're there, Carl starts to talk,
"You're really good at taking care of people…were you a mom before this happened?"
"No, I didn't have the chance to have kids of my own. Guess I just have a really strong motherly instinct." I say, shoving my backpack into the tent before zipping it up again and heading towards the fire pit with him in tow.
"Oh…you should have some, you'd be really good at it."
I give a laugh, Carl's innocence at how unlikely me having kids in this world taking me by surprise.
"Maybe, but not anytime soon. Now I see Sophia sitting over by the fire all by herself looking sad, why don't you go make sure she's ok?" I suggest, stopping the two of us from walking.
"Ok, see you later." He says before running off and sitting beside her, trying to cheer her up the way only a kid can.