The hell you say

A/N: in response to a comment by Anna Jaganshi that somehow I manage to turn everything serious. I felt the need to write something which had nothing serious in it. Ladies and gentlemen (are there gentlemen out there who read my shounen-ai?), the fluff is here. Oh, this is a sort of side-story which explains why Kurama expected to be hit in chapter 20. Oh, and happydemonhobo: your review of the Mukuro chapter was hilarious – meow, indeed. He did come across rather catty there, didn't he? And he is catty even in the series.

'Hiei?'

Hiei glared.

'Hiei……'

'………'

'Hiiieeiiiii……'

'………'

'You can't ignore me forever, you know.'

'Watch me.'

'See?'

'……'

'It's not like I did something horrible, you know.'

Hiei made a few noises. 'Horrible? Horrible? You……you…'

'Kissed you?' Kurama offered helpfully.

Glower. Grimace. Kick. 'Yes. That.'

'Oh. I hadn't realised that was a problem.'

'A problem? You didn't even give me any warning.'

'I wasn't aware that I had to give you warning every time I kissed you.'

'Stop saying it!' Hiei hissed.

'Saying what?'

'That you– you–'

Kurama smirked. 'Kissed you?'

'Yes!!'

'Well, there are a number of practical euphemisms in that case. I could, for instance, say that it was an experiment in osculation.'

'Oscu-what?'

'Osculation. The art of kissing.'

Hiei gave him a strange look. 'This is what you were doing in that school of yours? Looking up technical terms for this stuff?'

Kurama looked modest. 'Well, the textbooks are terribly boring when you know them all already.'

'You're hopeless.'

He bulldozed on. '…and if you prefer, we could use less technical terms. Necking? Smooching? Exchanging gobstoppers? Tonsil hockey?'

'Hockey?'

'You know hockey. We watched a match a while ago. You know. The thing with the long sticks and the holes and the weird players who keep spitting.'

Hiei looked faintly disgusted, as if he'd found a half-eaten worm in his half-eaten apple. 'I really really did not need that image. ……in fact, didn't I tell you I didn't want to discuss this?'

'You did. But I'm under no compulsion to agree.'

'You said we were going to the library!'

'I didn't say what I'd do after that.'

'I should kill you.'

'Which will completely ruin your chances of getting to do that again.'

'……'

'Because,' Kurama continued cheerfully, 'I was under the impression that you quite enjoyed it – right up to when you decked me.'

'Enjoyed it?'

'The kiss,' Kurama elaborated. He was obviously enjoying this.

'Would you shut up?!'

'So that's a yes, then?'

Hiei sputtered some more. 'Er,' he said finally. 'Gah.'

The grin was back, and it wasn't leaving. 'Definitely a yes.'

'That's it. I'm leaving.'

'And if you really mean that,' Kurama commented lazily, 'you'd have gone instead of stammering at me for the last twenty minutes.'

'I was not stammering.'

'Whatever you say, Hiei. So…you want to do it again?'

'W-wh-'

'Seeeee?'

'I may not kill you, Kurama, but I will damage your voice box.'