A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the delay, I went on holiday! So the finale of Greys. Yeah. Not much to say about that.
Awesome thanks to Heather for beta-ing.
As Callie began to stir from her slumber, she was momentarily confused at her surroundings; unfamiliar walls and sheets surrounding her. Pushing her eyes open she was met with the blonde hair of her wife as the events of the previous day came forward in her mind. Rubbing at her eyes, Callie looked swung her legs over and climbed out of the bed, placing a gentle kiss on Arizona's forehead she headed out of the room quietly in search of some more news about what was going on. She didn't have to go far as she found Bailey stood outside chatting to Richard and a Boise surgeon she didn't recognise. Walking towards them she smiled at each of them, 'What's going on?'
'We're just discussing when to move them all back to Seattle Grace,' Bailey explained. 'We think the sooner they're back the better.'
Callie nodded in agreement, knowing that all of them needed the care and surgical skills of those back in Seattle, 'Are they all stable enough to move?'
The Boise surgeon nodded, Callie reading his name tag of Jensen, 'All of them are as stable as they're going to be...I recommend that they all travel under sedation, getting them back on a plane knowingly would be too traumatic for all involved.'
Callie nodded in agreement, 'What about the twins? They can't be moved yet?'
Jensen shook his head, 'I've spoken to the guys up at the NICU, they estimate that it would be about a week before they could be moved.'
'Arizona can't stay here for that long,' Callie said, thinking aloud. 'She needs urgent care to limit the infection...I still haven't looked at her x-rays.'
'They're ready and waiting for you in the viewing room,' Jensen offered. 'But no matter what you see, I would recommend that she headed back to Seattle with your colleagues.'
Callie sighed, she'd already expected this, 'I'll tell her, she won't like it...'
'Will you stay here?' Bailey asked.
Callie both shook and nodded her head at the same time, 'I'll have to talk to Zo and Hunt of course, but I'd imagine I'd stay yes.' Everyone nodded, 'I'm going to go and see the scans before Arizona wakes up, at least then I can send you back with clear instructions.' Callie turned, heading into the viewing room that Dr. Jensen had indicated. She found the room to be empty but saw that Arizona's scans and x-rays were up on the light-box in front of her. Callie had barely begun to look when the door open and she saw Bailey join her, silently offering her support as well as someone to talk through what she saw.
'The femur's a mess,' Callie said eventually, her eyes scrutinising the images before her. Arizona's femur was snapped in two, bits of bone obviously having broken off. On top of that, the ligaments and tendons had also been snapped; the only saving grace being that some of the nerves were still intact.
'The muscle wastage looks bad,' Bailey offered.
Callie nodded, 'The infection has already eaten away too much muscle...the antibiotics aren't even touching it..the majority of the muscle in the thigh is already dead...' Callie hung her head away from the images, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes as she tried to see any way to save her wife's leg.
'We're not there yet,' Bailey said, her voice soft but firm. 'We're not where you think we are.'
Callie shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers, 'We are Bailey...you can see the pictures as clear as I can...I promised her...'
'Promised her?'
'Arizona,' Callie sighed. 'I promised her I wouldn't let them take her leg.'
Bailey bit her lip from responding how she wanted to, 'Torres, you know we don't make promises in surgery.'
'What was I meant to say?!' Callie exclaimed. 'She was begging me Bailey...pleading with me to save her leg...I couldn't do anything but promise her.'
'You know you won't be the one to operate on her anyway.'
'I know,' Callie said. 'But I need to come up with a plan for Carlson...because I know as soon as he looks at these he won't bother to think of anything other than amput-...' Callie couldn't finish that word now that it had become a more realistic possibility. 'He's a lightweight, he only goes for the obvious fix...even if it's not the one that's most beneficial to the patient.'
'Talk me through what you would do,' Bailey said. 'If this wasn't your wife.'
Callie's eyes returned to the light box, her eyes darting across the images, 'Well initially, surgery's needed to pin the femur back in place...you'd need external fixation...alongside that, increase the antibiotics and removed the soft tissue that's already dead...that's beyond saving, it's the tissue and the bone that we need to protect now...cause if the infection gets into her bone then...'
Bailey nodded in understanding, 'Well that sounds like a good start to a plan for me.'
'But what then?' Callie said. 'What if the antibiotics don't kick in? What if the infection spreads?'
'We can't live our lives by what ifs Callie,' Bailey said softly. 'You know that more than anyone; just remain positive in front of Arizona...'
'I can't lie to her Bailey,' Callie interrupted. 'She knows me too well for that.'
'I know, but you can tread carefully; give her hope, but don't give her false hope.' Bailey said, 'Jensen's decided to transfer them later on today, you should tell Arizona that too.'
Callie nodded, 'I will...I just hope she's ok with me staying here...as much as it'll kill me not being there for Arizona, I can't just leave the twins on their own.'
'She'll understand Callie,' Bailey replied. 'She's a good Mom, she'll want you here to protect them too, besides, her parents, Jess and all of the rest of us will be busy keeping an eye on her.'
Callie nodded, as much as she hated the thought of sending Arizona off on a plane to Seattle without her holding her hand, she knew that it was going to have to happen. 'I'm going to go and talk to her,' Callie said. 'Can you find out what time they'll be leaving and come and tell us?'
'Of course,' Bailey replied. 'If it's ok with you, I was also going to go to the NICU and check on those babies of yours.'
Callie smiled, knowing that she was doing something that Callie actually really needed, 'Thank you Bailey.' Bailey just nodded and patted Callie softly on the arm before turning and leaving the room. Giving one last look to the light box, Callie took a steadying breath and headed from the dark room and back down the corridor. When she re-entered her wife's room, Callie was relieved to find she was still asleep; she hadn't wanted Arizona to wake up to an empty room on her first morning away from the woods. Settling on the chair next to Arizona's bed, Callie instantly reached out and gently placed her hands around Arizona's left one. As she did, she studied her face, taking in every scratch, every bruise, that marred the pale skin of her wife. She couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened, what they'd been through out there in the woods for four days. It only needed one look at the faces of any of those that had been on that plane to see the sheer horror that they had all been through and it wasn't lost on any of them on and off the plane that they had all come very close to losing their lives.
A slight murmur from the bed brought Callie from her thoughts as her eyes snapped up to Arizona's face; her eyes were still closed but her head was starting to move from side to side as her murmurs became louder. 'Zo?' Callie pressed quietly. She didn't want to startle her wife into waking, but she also wanted to wake her from whatever dream she was obviously having. Arizona's actions gradually got more erratic, causing Callie to become concerned for the stability of her leg. It still hadn't been set properly yet and Callie knew that the slightest movement would undo all the work before it had even been done. Reaching forwards she gently placed her hand on the side of Arizona's face, 'Sweetie, please, it's Callie, just open those eyes for me.'
Callie smiled when she saw Arizona's eyes blink open, glad that she'd managed to wake her up fairly quickly, 'Hey.'
Arizona eyes darted around before finally focusing on Callie's, a small smile tugging at her face despite the nightmare she had just woken from, 'Calliope.'
Callie smiled, 'You ok?'
Arizona nodded, 'Bad dream.'
Callie nodded too, not wanting to push Arizona too far too fast.
'How are they?' Arizona asked instantly.
'Stable,' Callie replied. 'There's been no change in either of them overnight, Bailey's just gone up to check on them for me.'
'You could've gone Calliope,' Arizona said.
Callie shook her head, 'I'll go in a bit, I wanted to be here when you woke up. I've been looking at your x-rays and scans.'
Arizona's eyes went wide as she tried to gage what Callie had seen on them, 'And?'
'It's nasty Zo,' Callie replied, wanting to be honest with her wife. 'The main fight is going to be with the infection rather than the injury itself.'
'But you can save it?' Arizona asked, desperation thick in her voice.
'I'm going to do all I can to save it Arizona,' Callie said carefully. 'The initial surgery will just realign your femur with internal and external pins and clear out the dead tissue; then the rest will have to wait for a few days until the infection has calmed down a bit.'
Arizona nodded, tears silently falling down her face, 'There doing that here?'
Callie shook her head, 'They're transferring you all back to Seattle this afternoon...under sedation.'
Arizona nodded again, the thought of getting on a plane again made her stomach churn, but hopefully she wouldn't know too much about it once they'd injected her with the right stuff. 'How are the others?'
'Stable as far as I'm aware,' Callie replied, suddenly feeling very guilty that she hadn't been to see any of them. 'Lexie's still unconscious, but the rest are drifting in and out like you.'
'The babies won't be able to come back to Seattle will they?' Arizona asked, already knowing the answer to the question.
Callie shook her head, 'Not yet, Dr. Jensen said that it would most likely be at least a week before they could travel safely...he doesn't want them to be put at unnecessary risk.'
Arizona nodded, 'You should stay here with them.'
Callie searched Arizona's face for any hint of doubt, 'Are you sure?'
'No,' Arizona replied softly. 'But I know it's what has to happen.'
Callie smiled in understanding, 'I've already told Bailey my plan for your leg, but I'll ring Carlson myself and make sure that he understands it too...tell him that he's not allowed to make any vital decisions without getting in touch with me first...and your parents will be there every day, and Jess...she'll be so happy to see you.'
Arizona smiled genuinely at that thought, she was very much looking forward to seeing Jess herself, she just wished that it was in very different circumstances. 'I want to wake up...'
Callie stroked the back of Arizona's hand reassuringly, 'I know.'
'I want this all to be some horrific nightmare and find myself waking up next to you in our bed in our new house,' Arizona continued. 'I hate this.'
'I hate this too,' Callie agreed. 'I wish there was more I could do.'
'You're doing so much already,' Arizona replied instantly, squeezing Callie's hand. 'You're holding us all together Calliope Torres, and I couldn't love you enough for it...I just wish I could see them.'
'I know babe, if there was any way I could...'
'I know,' Arizona said with a sad smile. 'I can't risk it...if they got this infection...'
Callie nodded in agreement, knowing what Arizona was getting at, 'You'll see them soon enough...and I'll send pictures every day ok?'
Arizona nodded, pulling at Callie's arm so that she came back up on the bed needing to be safe and secure in her strong arms. 'Will you stay here in the hospital? Or get a hotel room?'
'I'll stay in one of the on-call rooms,' Callie replied, wrapping her arms gladly around her wife. 'I want to be as close to the babies as possible...' Sighing, Callie rested her head on top of Arizona's, 'I've been thinking about names...'
'Don't,' Arizona said instantly, her voice giving off a sharp edge.
Callie's brow furrowed, 'They need names Zo?'
Arizona shook her head furiously, 'Not yet.'
'Arizo-'
'No Callie,' Arizona interrupted. 'We can't...I can't...we need to face the facts...and giving them names...that's not facing facts.'
'Arizona,' Callie began, her voice defensive now, not really understanding where it was coming from. 'They are our son and daughter, they need...deserve names!'
'Not yet ok?!' Arizona replied, wriggling out of Callie's grip and turning so she was facing the wall rather than her wife. 'You can't expect me to give them names when I've not even seen them...when they might not even survive!'
Callie sat up on the bed so she was able to turn and look at Arizona, 'Arizona, we can't just keep calling them him and her...they're our children...no matter what's waiting for them around the corner, that fact will never change.'
'I know,' Arizona replied, her voice slightly softer. She wasn't sure she could fully explain why she was saying what she was, all she knew was that she didn't want to even begin to think about naming the twins at this stage. 'I just...I can't right now...ok?'
Callie thought about arguing but decided against it, she didn't want to upset or distress Arizona anymore than she already was over something that they could sort out at a later date, 'Ok...we'll talk about it when I join you back in Seattle, yeah?'
Arizona nodded yes, although her eyes didn't meet Callie's, 'Can you go and ask them if I can have some more pain meds?'
'Your leg?' Callie asked, although she wasn't completely convinced that Arizona genuinely needed more pain meds.
Arizona nodded, this time turning her head and giving a tight smile in Callie's direction, 'Thank you.'
Callie nodded, giving one last look to her wife before she headed back out of the room and into the corridor. Sighing she headed down to the reception, passing on Arizona's request for more pain meds to a nurse before she continued, deciding to go and actually see how the rest of those that had been on the plane were. After the way Arizona had just reacted to her suggesting they name the twins, she just needed a minute. A minute to collect herself, because she knew if she fell apart now then everything would follow.
'Torres!' Callie turned and smiled broadly when she saw Mark calling her from a side room. He was sat next to a hospital bed containing a very pale looking Lexie Grey. Gingerly lifting himself out of his chair, he made his way over to Callie and engulfed her in a hug; that simple contact all it took to cause a cascade of tears to fall from her eyes once again. Mark just held her, knowing that his best friend needed it in that moment; he knew about Arizona and the babies' conditions but he hadn't wanted to intrude on them until they were ready.
As Callie's tears subsided, she pulled away from Mark, slightly embarrassed by her outburst, 'I'm sorry Mark...'
'Hey...don't apologise,' Mark said. 'You just needed a minute...I get it.'
'How is she?' Callie asked, nodding her head towards the bed.
'Stable,' Mark replied solemnly. 'They've stabilised her pelvis, but the internal bleeding was...extensive...she's probably going to need more surgery at Seattle.'
Callie nodded, 'Arizona's the same...I mean she's awake, but her leg is a mess.'
'How bad?' Mark asked, although he knew that after seeing the femur himself it wasn't going to be great news.
'Bad,' Callie replied. 'The infection is massive...if we can't get that under control...you need to keep an eye on her for me.'
'Huh?' Mark asked confused.
'You're all getting transferred back to Seattle tonight,' Callie explained. 'I'm not coming with you...I need to stay here with the twins.'
Mark nodded in understanding, 'Robbins ok with that?'
Callie shrugged her shoulders, 'As ok as I am...at least her parents are there...and Jess...seeing her will help I think...we both agreed that the babies shouldn't be left alone.'
'They're still stable?'
'Yeah,' Callie replied. 'I haven't seen them today yet, but Bailey's been with them.'
Mark smiled genuinely, 'Any names yet?'
Callie bit her lip and shook her head sadly, 'I literally just brought that up with Arizona...she just...shut down...said that she couldn't deal with the thought of naming them when she hadn't seen them...or when they might not...survive.'
Mark sighed, pulling Callie in for another hug in a show of support, 'She's just scared Cal...I mean...she was so strong out there...she'll tell you different of course, but she was. She could've given up, but she didn't. She kept me going too...wouldn't let me give up on Lexie or on myself...just give her a little time ok?'
Callie nodded, already feeling the reassurance from Mark's words, 'How is everyone else?'
Mark stood back, running a hand through his greying hair, 'Meredith is fine; I mean we're all dehydrated, malnourished and slightly hypothermic, but other than that Grey is fine...Cristina's shoulders set but she's...I dunno Cal...she's gone very quiet...she won't talk to anyone, not even Grey...but I suppose that's just her way of dealing with this whole thing. Derek's hand is screwed...you're going to have to seriously work some Torres magic on it.'
Callie nodded as she listened to Mark's details, 'Ok, well when you get to Seattle, get all the relevant scans and x-rays of Shepherd's hand and have them emailed to me ok? I can start coming up with a plan whilst I'm here...I've already told Bailey the plan for Arizona's leg, but I'll email Carlson...can you make sure he sticks to it? You know what he can be like.'
Mark nodded, 'Of course, I won't let him even breathe without your say so.'
'Thanks Mark,' Callie said. 'I'm sorry I haven't been to see you till now...I just got caught up in everything.'
'Hey, it's ok,' Mark replied. 'I get it...it's been a bit chaotic right?'
Callie scoffed, 'That's one way of describing it...Look I'm going to get back to Zo, I'll catch you before you all leave yeah?'
'Sure thing Cal,' Mark said, patting Callie's shoulder. 'Give Robbins my love.'
Callie nodded as she turned on her heel and headed back towards Arizona's room, as she went she checked in with the nurses who said that they had increased her pain meds slightly. Callie felt guilty; she had thought Arizona had just been trying to get Callie out of the room. Her guilt increased when she pushed open the door to Arizona's side room to find her sat up in bed sobbing, silent tears streaking down her face.
'Oh Zo...' Callie murmured as she shut the door and sat on the bed, instantly pulling Arizona into her arms. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left.'
Arizona shook her head in Callie's shoulder, her hands gripping onto Callie's shirt for dear life, 'I'm sorry...I just...I'm so scared Calliope...but I shouldn't have taken it out on you...you're the only thing holding me together right now...and I'm sorry...I didn't mean it...maybe whilst we're apart we can come up with some names and compare when you come home?'
Callie smiled, kissing the top of Arizona's head, 'Sounds perfect...I'm sorry for pushing you...I'm going to miss you.'
Arizona hugged Callie impossibly closer, 'I wish it didn't have to be like this, I'm going to miss you too.'
'I know,' Callie agreed. 'But you'll have Jess and your parents to keep you occupied, ok?'
Arizona nodded, not voicing the fact that she knew that just wouldn't be the same as having her wife with her. As much as she loved her parents and daughter; Callie just had a way with her; a way to make everything seem that little bit more ok, to offer light in the darkest of times and she needed that now more than ever.
Their moment was interrupted by a gentle knock at the door as Bailey entered the room, a soft smile on her face. 'Sorry to interrupt, I just thought you'd like an update.' Both Callie and Arizona nodded eagerly, 'They're both stable, both PDA's are stable, but they're pretty certain that baby boy is going to have to have surgery when he gets to Seattle...'
'Callie you need to get me a copy of their charts, I need to see, and you need to get his ultrasound results to Teddy, no one else is operating on him...ok?'
'Ok, ok, slow down,' Callie said, running her hand over Arizona's hair. 'What about the girl?'
'She's doing well, responding well to the Phenobarbital,' Bailey said. 'I also came in to tell you that they're getting ready to move you all, the transport's all ready...I'll give you two a minute.'
'Thanks Bailey,' Callie said, watching as she closed the door behind her.
'Make sure their charts are forwarded to me please Calliope?' Arizona said, repeating her earlier plea.
'I will,' Callie said, locking eyes with her wife. 'But you also need to concentrate on you and getting better, ok?'
Arizona nodded, 'I just need to know everything Callie...'
'I know,' Callie said again. 'I'll get the charts sent to both you and Teddy.'
'I don't want to get on a plane,' Arizona said, changing the direction of their conversation.
Callie sighed, resting her chin on top of Arizona's head, 'Maybe I should fly with you to Seattle and then come back?'
Arizona shook her head, but smiled at the sentiment, 'No Calliope, that makes no sense...I'll be fine, I just...' Arizona sighed, pulling back and cupping Callie's cheek, 'I'm just being stupid and scared.'
'You're anything but stupid,' Callie said, leaning forwards and pressing her lips to Arizona's before resting their foreheads together. 'I love you.'
'I love you too,' Arizona replied. 'How are we getting to the p-plane?'
'Their taking you in ambulances,' Callie answered. 'Bailey's said she'll ride with you.'
Arizona smiled, her wife's ability and desire to protect her always evident in everything she did, 'You'll stay with me until then?'
'Of course,' Callie said, kissing the end of Arizona's nose. 'I'll go with you to the ambulance, even when you're sleepy on sedatives.'
Callie and Arizona remained in each other's arms until a nurse came to tell them that it was time to leave, adding the sedative into Arizona's IV. It was slow acting ensuring that it would come into full effect just as they would arrive at the airstrip. 'You ready?' Callie asked as the porters came to collect all of the survivors.
Arizona nodded reluctantly, she wasn't ready to leave Callie at all, but she knew that it had to happen and that Callie staying with the twins was the best thing for everyone involved. Reaching in between the bars of the side rail to her bed, Arizona gripped onto Callie's hand tightly. Callie followed at the side of the bed as Arizona was wheeled out of the side room and into the corridor; ahead she saw Bailey and Richard stood talking to Mark, Lexie in the bed in front of Arizona. Seeing them behind, Mark turned and walked over to the bed; he hadn't seen Arizona since they'd been brought in, 'How you doing blondie?'
Arizona smiled, when she had first started she had found Mark's nickname derogatory and inappropriate; now, she wouldn't have it any other way. 'You know, a few scratches here and there,' Arizona joked. 'You?'
'Yeah same here too, just a bruise or two right?' Mark said with a grin. 'Congratulations by the way.'
'Thanks Mark,' Arizona said genuinely, hearing congratulations rather than apologies and condolences regarding the twins something of a breath of fresh air.
'We ready to go?' Callie asked, Mark nodding in response as he headed back to stand next to Lexie.
The journey to the ambulance bay was short; Boise hospital nothing in size compared to what they were all used to. As they exited the main double doors, Callie saw four ambulances waiting for them; Arizona, Lexie, Derek and Christina travelling in the beds, whilst the others filled up the passenger seats. Callie sighed, she wasn't ready to do this.
'Hey,' Arizona said, seeing the inner-turmoil her wife was obviously experiencing. 'I'll be fine ok? Don't worry.'
'You mean just like you won't worry about the twins?' Callie asked rhetorically with a raise of her eyebrow.
Arizona smiled, 'Exactly...just take care yeah?'
Callie nodded, bending down over the bed to place a kiss on Arizona's lips, a hand on top of blonde locks, 'You too, give Jess a hug from me?' Tears from both women mixing on their cheeks as they fought with the emotion of saying goodbye, even though it was only temporary.
'Honestly? When I finally get my hands on her, I probably won't ever let go,' Arizona answered, she had missed her daughter terribly, the thought of her growing up without her Mommy enough to send a chill down Arizona's spine.
Callie smiled, looking up she saw that everyone was waiting for them to finish so that they could go, 'I love you so much Arizona, I'll see you soon ok?'
Arizona nodded, 'I love you too...take care.' Callie pressed another kiss to Arizona's lips and then her forehead before she finally stepped back and let them load her wife onto the rig.
'We've got her Torres,' Bailey said as she climbed up after the gurney.
'Text me when you've landed?'
'Of course,' Bailey replied just as the doors were shut between them. Stepping back, Callie watched as each of the ambulances left their bays; each carrying a member of her family. Sure they were dysfunctional as hell at times, but they were also impossibly close; all of their fates entwined with each others, all each others' support, all fighting for their happiness side by side. Sighing, Callie looked up to the sky, collecting herself and wiping away her tears. She knew that without doubt, this was going to be the hardest few months of their lives; the fight for both Arizona's leg and the twins' lives being all too prominent, but at the end of it all, they had each other. And that was something worth fighting for.
