Chapter 20 – And my heart stopped.
After a few minutes of needed just silence he pushed himself back and wiped his face on his shirt. I smiled inside remembering what Jacob looked like when we were little. His mom always getting after him to not use his shirt as a napkin and such.
We would name our daughter after his mother, which seemed appropriate. We would live together as man and wife, again appropriate. Somehow life was flying by even if it were in my head and now Jacob's as well. We'd shared things with each other in the past, but just little things and by no means things as big, defined and well graphic as what we'd both just felt.
Gently I reached out and took his hand in mine. The strength of his hand wrapping around mine, was a mirror to the love for him that wrapped our hearts together. Leaning in with just a whisper of a voice I said. "Hey, we better get inside, Rachel is going to wonder where we ran off to and you probably should get cleaned up a bit." I knew that we needed to talk, I needed to know what got him so upset, but it could wait.
As we walked from the garage to the house, things were swirling around in my brain. How our lives seemed to be planned out for us. Wonder if we relive our lives over and over and if we do, can things change; do we have an opportunity to make them better and right our wrongs?
The next two weeks flew by. Between working at the daycare and helping Rachel and Rebecca with the wedding, there was little time for Jacob and I to spend with each other. Everything seemed to revolve around the wedding.
I was relieved that Andi seemed to have weathered into the woodwork and I had only seen her briefly around La Push a couple of times. Jacob seemed content working on his Rabbit and at the garage. Each time we'd talk he'd tell me about a new something or another that he'd learned, or a problem he figured out on his own.
Sitting at dinner one night Rachel casually mentioned that it would be nice to know a great artist as well as cook to make a special cake for her sisters wedding. They'd planned something rather simple, but to have something special along with it would be really nice. A smile crept over my face and I could feel a questioning look from Jacob's, his gaze first on mine and then as it moved over to his sisters face. "Rachel, I think I know someone." I said knowingly. That night I didn't know that I was turning a page in my life, and one that I couldn't turn back easily.
Rachel and I approached Esme Cullin to see if she'd even have an interest and she jumped at the chance. We then became a somewhat regular fixture at the Cullen house and quickly become relaxed visiting while we planned the cake and other deserts that would be at the wedding. Even though Esme Cullen was an architect and interior designer she had shown us the wonderful pastries she made to relax and the treats that she whipped up for us to try were by far better then anything else we'd tried in our entire lives. Since the first time we'd talked to her about it she had begun creating delicate little flowers that looked like bittersweet to adorn the cake, and the branches which they would be attached looked as if they'd come straight out of the woods that surrounded their home but they were also made from icing. True to an architects form, she was working almost round the clock on every little detail. Insisting that she make all the deserts for the day as well, and of course we all pitched in where we could. Mostly on the tasting side of things though.
During out visits, Alice and I became closer. We talked most of the time about boys, I tried to keep the conversation to just Jacob and Jasper but Edward seemed to slip into conversation here and there. The topic of school came up and I told her of my plans to talk to Renee about allowing me to stay in Forks somewhat permanently.
When Alice was out was out of the house, usually with Jasper, Edward and I had come to a comfortable spot between us. We shared with each other our love for books and he shared his love of music with me. For what seemed like hours I would listen to him practice and compose, I was lulled by the tinkling keys of his piano each time. He was truly an artist in his own right and handsome, I couldn't quite put my finger on what made him aloof but contributed this to the reason why he didn't have a girlfriend. Of course I assumed he didn't, because he never spoke of one. Alice had mentioned a Tanya before, but apparently she didn't live close and Edward didn't share the affections with her that she did for him and somewhere for a reason I couldn't explain it made me happy to know.
My sleep was interrupted by a buzzing… rolling over I grabbed my shuttering cell phone off the night stand and looked at it's screen with sleep filled eyes. Really, had I slept the entire night away already, I groaned and hit the snooze feature only to be woken again in 5 minutes. This time I succeeded to the fact that it would just keep going off and rolled myself out of bed. Stumbling to the bathroom I could hear Charlie on the phone with someone downstairs.
"I think she wants to stay." I could make out pretty clearly. "She is making friends and she's got a good job at the reservation's day school."
This conversation was obviously about me…I crept towards the top of the stairs and strained to listen a little closer.
"Renee, I think she's old enough to be part of the decision. She's not a young child anymore." Pause. Then Charlie's voice got a bit louder. "Look, I'm not going to argue with you, we'll let her decide." Silence was then followed by "Enough, we have a big day, you can call her later this weekend." With those final words I heard him hang the phone up, and not softly. His feet sounded like they were coming my way and I twirled around and headed for the bathroom, managing to get the door shut before he made it to the foot of the stairs.
My heart was beating fast, sure I'd wanted to stay in Forks and I hadn't really hidden that fact from Charlie but nor had I sat down and talked to him about it. I truly did not want this to be a sore point between my parents, I loved them both and Renee would really just have to understand that she'd had me to herself for too long. Anyway she had Phil, and there was no way I was moving to Florida, even further away from Charlie, my friends and Jake.
After running my brush through my hair and brushing my teeth, I stood looking in the mirror. How'd I get to where I was at, here I was in Forks with the best friend and boyfriend that a girl could ask for and how was I not 100% thrilled. A one-word answer came to mind. Edward.
"Bells, you in there?" I heard, followed by a knock on the door. It startled me out of my thoughts. Gee, I hadn't even been awake 10 minutes and my mind was a mess.
"Hmm, yes…I'm almost done, be out in a second." I answered quickly.
"No rush, just wanted to let you know, I'm getting dressed and we should head out in about an hour, we don't want to be late." Charlie responded and without an answer from me, I heard his feet pad their way to his room.
Today was the day, Rebecca was getting married.
I took my time in the shower and then blow-drying my hair out as straight as I could get it. Taking a small section of hair on either side of my face, I created a thin braid and then twisted them together at the back. Applying the makeup that Angela and I bought was pretty easy. She and Alice had taught me to apply it so it didn't really look like I had any on, but still made me look more polished and a bit more mature.
Resecuring my towel I left the bathroom and went into my room, shutting the door and locking it. Charlie had allowed the lock after a near miss walking in on me a few weeks ago. He'd said that he was too young to have to gouge his eyes out and trusted I wouldn't abuse the privileges that came with a lock.
Pulling my dresser drawer open I selected some things from Renee's and my trip to Victoria Secret, to wear under my dress. I was shocked somewhat how wearing pretty underwear made me feel prettier even if it was just under jeans and a t-shirt. Slipping the dress over my head I stood in front of the mirror and smiled at the girl that was looking back at me. The color really set off my hair and my eyes. I would never be a beauty like Alice or Rachel, but I wouldn't look like the ugly duckling I hoped.
I grabbed my small black purse and put my phone and a lip balm inside, which was about all that was going to fit, but I wouldn't need much. Starting to close my purse I felt my phone vibrate again. Flipping it open, I found a text from Jacob and it read, Can't wait to see you, I know you'll take my breath away and I quickly typed a response back to him that read. Leaving the house in a few minutes we should be there in about 30 minutes max…I bet you look pretty dapper yourself Smiling to myself I closed my phone and put it back in my purse. I took one more peek in the mirror and headed out of my room.
"Charlie?" I looked in his room and saw him bending over tying his shoe. He looked up at me and his eyes sparkled back at me, causing me to grin and then feel the burn of a blush coming across my cheeks as a low whistle came from his lips.
"Wow, you are a bit dressed up for fishing aren't you?" The grin that traveled from ear to ear was infectious. Sitting on the bed next to him I straightened his tie and kissed him on his cheek.
"I love you dad." It slipped out before I could even think and Charlie looked as if something was caught in his throat. He let out a little cough and finished tying his shoe. Looking up at me only when he'd had a second or two to respond his hand took mine.
"Bells, you are growing up so fast. That Jacob and I are going to have words today I can tell." I frowned at him, not even understanding what might be going through his mind. He chuckled a little bit and continued. "See, I've got the prettiest date to this thing and well, he'd going stag." Then he smiled sweetly and said. "I love you too, by the way."
That was a father daughter moment that we'd not had before. We'd shared a lot and you could say we were even pretty close, for not having spent the last several years with each other much…so this along with hearing him on the phone earlier made me feel like the luckiest girl in Washington state.
He took my hand in his and gave me a twirl as we started for the stairs.
As we pulled into Billy's driveway we could hear the bustle was excitement coming from the house. Rachel's voice was raised and Rebecca's sounded frantic and within the mixture was Billy's low calm voice, doing what he's suppose to do, trying to keep everyone calm.
Charlie winced and paused before approaching the house. When we made it to the door, I knocked lightly and opened the screen. Rachel's head popped around the corner from the hall smiling. Somehow I hadn't expected to see a smile, but I was good with it.
"Bella!" Her smile imitated Billy's full and white. "You are just in time, come on we need your help." Grinning at Charlie I hugged Billy a little who was sitting in the living room. He gave me a week and an approving nod. Just as I was turning the corner into the girl's room I saw Charlie give a him a playful punch in the arm and heard.
"No trying to steal my date old me, isn't it bad enough I'm going to have to fight off Jacob later." His smile filled his face and made his eyes squint, which then made me smile even more.
Turning away from the living room I was met with a site that took my breath away. Rachel was shaking out the skirt portion of Rebecca's dress. It was well, just breathe taking. Rebecca stood in the middle of the room, her hair simply styled so that it fell effortlessly down her back sections had been pulled back similar to mine and her mothers hair pin was elegantly displayed against the sheen of her dark hair, making the small blue buds pop even more. While some would say her dress was simple, it fit her perfectly. It had wide straps, and a scoop front; the bodice hugged her chest and abdomen, not hiding the fact that she was in excellent physical shape. The skirt fell to just above her ankles in a bell shape that flowed easily as she swayed back and forth.
"Wow." Came out of my mouth, and immediately my mind though, so originally Bella, could you not say something better then wow? Rebecca then smiled in my direction and did a little twirl. It was then that I saw that the dress was open in the back, it had a swoop that mimicked the front but the dip ran just above her buttocks. Of course with her tan skin the white was a beautiful contrast. She brushed her hair to the side and it was then that I noticed her tattoo. It was on her shoulder and was a silhouette of a morning dove. She'd gotten it in memory of their mom, and it sealed the idea that she was there today with her daughter.
"So I guess you approve." Rebecca said as I entered the room. I nodded again feeling like all words I would try to say would come out wrong. She just smiled and turned back to the mirror.
"Ok, Bella, I need your help." Rachel said to me bringing me out of my haze. "Can you please call Mrs. Cullen and make sure she has everything that she needs? If she needs anything make a list and we'll get it together." I nodded and started to get my cell phone out. "We're going to head down to the beach in about 15 minutes, the guys should be well on their way their from Sam's house…" her voice trailed off from there, lost in her own thoughts.
I stepped out of the room to make the call to Esme. While dialing Charlie waived at me and pointed that he and Billy were going to head out and he'd see me at the beach. I guessed that I was going with the girls.
"Hello?" Reminded me of my task and I took a breath in, it wasn't Esme answering, it was Edward.
"Edward, it's Bella, Bella Swan." I heard him chuckle into the phone.
"What other Bella would it be?" He replied. Damn, I felt the burn of a blush again.
"Um, is your mom around, Rebecca wanted me to see that she had everything that she needed." I tried to stay to the point of my call.
"Sure hold on." I heard him put his hand over the phone and relay my question but not give the phone to Esme. "She says she's got everything under control and she's all sat up already."
That meant that Edward was here! He wasn't supposed to be here, oh god. My heart fell to my stomach, and butterflies met it. Damn Damn Damn… why was this happening to me? Trying to keep my voice even I replied. "Good, sounds good. Ok then we'll see you after the ceremony then. Bye Edward." Without waiting for a reply I hung up. Turning I almost ran straight into Rebecca.
Her eyes met mine and her eyebrows frowned at me. "Edward?" she asked.
"He's Esme's son and Alice's brother…I guess he came with them to help set up or something." I looked past her to Rachel and finished. "Everything is set up and they don't need anything."
Rebecca eyes forced me back to her. "Bella, just remember what I told you. I expect that you won't hurt my brother." She nodded and walked past me. Rachel just smiled softly at me and whispered.
"Don't take it personally, I think she's PMS'ing…" she then winked at me and said "Should make the honeymoon just lovely." I felt my mouth kind of drop open and she laughed out loud and I turned to follow them down the hall.
We made it to the beach and I went to find Charlie and my seat. There was a little alter set up that looked out at the ocean and there was an arch above it with flowers woven through it. White chairs lined each side of a make shift isle. Everyone was dressed for the occasion and I felt good for once about how I looked. Spotting Charlie I headed towards his seat just on the edge of the isle of course on the Brides' side.
Just then I spotted him. He was tucking a loose strand of flowers back into the arch. The site of him took my breath away and my mind wondered immediately why I had ever questioned my heart. Just then he turned my direction and his eyes met mine and my heart stopped.