Circle Breaking

March 2017

New York

It was 8 pm Friday night. Rory and Lorelai were in a hotel suite getting ready for a night out. Rory, sporting a small but noticeable baby bump, was dressed stylishly in a colorfully patterned red wrap dress and heeled boots. "That's so not fair," said Lorelai when she saw her daughter, "maternity clothes are so much cuter these days. When that become a thing? In my day all we had were moo moos, sailor outfits, or your father's sweats."

'Well, you could get pregnant too." "Or maybe I can just get one of those costume baby bumps that they use on TV shows!"

"That's an awful lot of effort for clothes you can successfully wear without being pregnant. Besides, you look nice also."

"Really? Not too old? I don't want to be one of 'those' women who dress inappropriately, looking like their trying to hard to hang on to their youth."

"What? And going to a club in New York on a Friday night with your daughter and her friends is not hanging onto your youth?"

'Yes, it is, but this is a special occasion."

Indeed it was. Tonight Hep Alien was playing the Mercury Lounge, one of the music business' most sought-after venues. Many well-known musicians and artist have played this club and tonight Hep Alien was joining their ranks.

It had been quite a journey for them. Juggling the responsibilities of the band and everyday family life proved to be a great challenge. While other bands would have given up, Hep Alien soldiered on. Although Zach's tour with The VapoRubs brought much momentum and interest, they could not take full advantage because the twins were so little. So they pulled back, and Lane, Zach, Gill, and Brian went on with their lives, immersing themselves in the daily profound (but mundane) while still practicing and playing gigs as time permitted. Yes, playing pop-up gigs at the Secret Bar, street fairs, and open-mic nights when time permitted was not the rock-n-roll dream, but at least they were playing, and to them, that was good for now.

Fortunes turned in July 2016 when Gill received a call from a buddy who worked as a sound engineer. He had a job for a street festival in Providence and one of the bands backed out at the last minute, so he asked if Hep Alien could fill in. That evening, the haphazardly packed Hep Alien VW bus pulled up to the concert venue where their set received an overwhelmingly positive response, garnering the interest of one particular person, a woman named Eve. Eve happened to be the sister of a Nashville musician who was looking for material to fill in an album that he was working on, and one of Hep Alien's original songs rang true to her. She sent him a video of their performance, and he immediately got in touch with his producer to work out a plan for possible collaboration.

"And you know who that producer is!?" Lane excitedly asked Rory after she broke the news.

"Who?"

"Jack White!"

"Noooooo!"

"YEEEEESSSS!"

"THE Jack White? The ex-husband of Meg? Founding member of The Raconteurs? Duets with Loretta Lynn and worked with Beyonce, Jack White?"

"The one and only! You may have to make more room for my kids in that apartment because I am dying, dying with excitement!"

"Lane, you can't die. If you do, who's going to work with Jack White?"

"You're right, you're right...Oh My God!"

The collaboration with Jack led to a number of lucrative introductions. Soon Hep Alien and its members found themselves with not only a small loyal following but also being tapped for session work, songwriting, and other collaborations. "We're not playing stadiums, but are working and creating which really is at the core of what we wanted to do," Gill stated during a recent interview with Guitar Magazine.

It was indeed a great night for friends. Not only were Rory and Lorelai attending the show, but also Luke, Jackson, and Sookie. April and a group of friends traveled from Boston, and Jess came in from Philly as well. Christopher, looking for a night, out decided to tag along, with Doyle and Paris, Olivia and Moses, and Logan, Colin, and Finn topping off the guest list.

Logan woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He looked at his clock; 7:15 pm. Oh crap, he thought, I am running late.

Of course, this was the week for all hell to break loose at work. Issues with the Shanghai office had him up on conference calls all night. He finally went to bed at 6 am only to have him up again at 8 for a morning of meetings. He was finally able to leave the office at 2 pm where he went home and immediately fell asleep. He stayed that way until the phone awakened him, with the doorperson telling him that his guests were on their way up. A minute later, Logan opened the door to Colin and Finn. "Good morning darling no need to get ready for me." Finn greeted. "Sorry was up all night on a stupid meeting and slept all afternoon. I'll be ready in a few..." Logan replied. "No need to rush." Colin assured him looking around his kitchen, "we'll just help ourselves to... whatever..."

Logan raced to get ready, psyching himself up for the evening ahead. Tomorrow Finn was booked on the 7 pm flight back to Sydney and his final night happened to coincide with the Hep Alien show. Rory had been talking about this show for weeks. She was so excited that after years of hard work her best friend, Lane, was finally getting recognition in the music business.

Logan was happy and encouraged when Rory invited him to their show. However, that feeling quickly dissipated when he learned who else was attending. Basically, the majority of her family were planning to be there, including her mother, stepfather, and father. Logan had not interacted with them since Rory's graduation, and then, after all these years, to reappear in their lives by getting their daughter pregnant while engaged to another woman probably did not make him their most favorite person. While he was able to handle his parents, he knew it would be harder with Rory's parents, especially with her mother. With his own parents, dealing with them was fairly manageable. They were his parents after all and so he had a lifetime's worth of experience in handling their emotions about his life. Rory's parents were different. Unlike Mitchum and Shira, he actually liked Chris, Luke, and Lorelai. Although he had a very rocky start with Lorelai, they were able to arrive at an understanding and even gave her approval for him to propose marriage to Rory. Now matters have changed. Their respect was important to him and he needed to earn it back. Logan spent the week preparing for the for the wrath that would come from them. He was willing to take it, as he had to face them sometime, and him not coming to the show would disappoint Rory, and he didn't want to do that.

Logan got dressed and the three of them set off to the show, arriving about ten minutes before the start of Hep Alien's set. Logan was grateful for Colin and Finn's presence as they served as s support and buffer for the evening. They walked into the room to see Rory settled in the center of the club with her group. Logan recognized Moses and Olivia, Rory's boss, and friends from Yale. He saw Paris and Doyle talking quietly, which surprised Logan in light of all of the stories Rory told of them and their impending divorce. Sookie and Jackson, Lorelai's best friends were also there, and he also spotted April with a group of people who he assumed were friends from Boston. Then there was Lorelai talking with Chris, and Luke talking with Rory's high school boyfriend Jess. I hate that guy Logan thought to himself.

Logan smiled widely as Rory bounded towards them "You're here!" She exclaimed excitedly, hugging both Colin and Finn who could not hide their shock over seeing her burgeoning belly. "Oh my God, so it IS true!" Colin implored. "No Colin" Rory shot back, "this is a cosmetic bump, the kind they use in tv shows. This was all an elaborate joke on you. I think it worked!" She said winking at Logan.

"Well Darling," Finn interjected, "it time to let everyone know the baby is really mine. Shall we now runaway love?"

"Sure, but after the show," Rory replied with a bit of good-natured sarcasm.

Rory brought everyone down to the group where she introduced and reintroduced the boys to the Starts Hallow crowd. Everyone was pleasant enough. Logan could tell that Luke and Chris were making great efforts to be friendly. Lorelai, on the other hand, was quite reserved; friendly and respectful but reserved.

The show went off without a hitch. It was a great set, with the band doing three encores. Afterward, everyone gathered at a pub a couple of blocks away. It was a place that was frequented by Huntzberger Media employees and therefore familiar territory to Logan, who revealed once they arrived that he bought out the place for the night for an after-party. Upon hearing the news, Rory gave Logan a knowing smile.

As Rory sat back and drank in the scene at the after party she couldn't help but giggle at the confluence people gathered in one room. At one table was Logan, Colin, and Finn, with Christopher drinking scotch and no doubt swapping boarding/prep school war stories. At another were Sookie and Jackson having a lively discussion about farming and landscape design with Olivia and Moses, while Jess and Luke were huddled in a corner quietly catching up. Then there was Lorelai, with April and her grad school friends on the dance floor moving and shaking like she was one them. "Desperately holding on to her youth indeed," Rory thought with a slight laugh at the site of her mother. Rory then joined them.

As the evening settled in Logan found himself sitting at a table with Colin, Finn, and Christopher, swapping boarding/prep school war stories. At one point Logan looked up to see Rory standing by herself surveying the scene and then walking over to the dance floor to join Lorelai, April and April's friends. He smiled at what a terrible dancer she was. Logan all of a sudden felt slightly uncomfortable and looked to over to see Christopher watching him as he watched his daughter. Christopher had strange look on his face, one that Logan could not decipher, which made him feel awkward. He stood up to break the tension, "Well, I'm going to get another drink. Does anyone want anything? Chris, they carry that brand of scotch that I was telling you about." Chris passed and, surprisingly, so did Colin and Finn. Logan excused himself and headed towards the bar. As he was about to order, Lane and Zach walked up to him.

"Logan, thank you," Lane said to him with a hug, "This is amazing." "Yea man, thanks, I can't think of a more perfect night," added Zach.

"No need to thank me, this is my pleasure", replied Logan, "I'm just happy to say that 'I knew you when'."

"Yes, it's a really nice set up here, really nice, a good time for everyone." Logan heard as Lane and Zach departed to take a picture with some fans.

Logan turned to find Jess standing behind him "Yes, and are you having a good time?" Logan guardedly responded.

"Oh yes, the best. So I didn't know that you knew the band that well. When did you become best friends?"

"Well, we're not best friends, but Lane is Rory's oldest friend and the Godmother to her boys so in a way that makes her family."

"Wow, so generous of you to do this for family-like people."

"Well, she and Zach have been a great support to Rory, and well I am grateful for their help."

"So you need help with Rory? "

"I'm just saying that since I am not there all the time, it's nice to know that she has support."

"Oh, yes, because she needs to be supervised."

"I didn't say that now did I?"

"No that's not what you said. If there is anyone who can make it on her own is Rory, she can take care of herself."

"I know that she can take care of herself. We were together for a long time, even lived together, so I am very well aware of Rory. In fact, I can say that I know her in ways other people wouldn't understand."

"Really now?"

"Really."

Suddenly, Christopher, Lorelai, and Luke showed up at their side. "Hey, guys what's going on?" Lorelei asked.

"Just having a friendly conversation," Jess responded without taking his eyes off of Logan.

"Getting reacquainted," Logan added, matching Jess' tone and manner.

"That's great." Christopher interjected, "Hey Logan," Christopher continued while looking at Luke and Lorelai meaningfully, "What is that brand scotch you were telling me about? Join me for one?"

"Sure," Logan said. Christopher put his hand on Logan's shoulder and led him away, finding a quiet table in the corner where Chris sat Logan down. A minute later he showed up with a glass of scotch and a glass of water. He handed Logan the water.

"So, would you like to talk about that little incident there?" Chris asked in a rather paternal voice.

"I hate that guy," Logan said.

"Jess? Yea, he's not my favorite person either." Chris replied.

"Really?" Logan said, happily surprised.

"He and Rory got into a car accident when they were in high school. He was driving and she ended up with a totaled car and a fractured her wrist. Thank God it was minor, but I still can't quite get over it. He always has a black mark in my book."

"And what about me? How many marks do I have?"

"About a half a mark."

"Only half? That's pretty good. So what have I done to merit only half? I thought my pages would be all black."

"Well, yes you both are not in the best situation, but you are doing your part so therefore I can't hate you," Chris said raising his glass.

"I would do anything for her."

"You mean like break off an engagement and NOT have an affair with her?"

Logan went quiet. No matter how much he rehearsed this moment in his mind, he had no comeback for his statement.

"Logan," Christopher said after a minute or two of silence, "You can relax. You are the father of my grandchild. I am not going to do the whole "shotgun" thing. Although, I will admit, when I heard the news, I did consider going after you with a baseball bat."

"Thank you, and I don't blame you for considering it."

"Well, I am not going to repeat the same mistakes my father did when I was in this situation. You both have my full support in this matter."

" I appreciate that. Does it help that I love her and want to be with her?"

"Do you now?"

"Yes. You sound skeptical."

"Well, given the events and circumstance that led to this pregnancy, can you blame me? Again, if you loved her so much, then why did you sneak around? Why the affair?"

"I was ready to give it all up for her, but she didn't seem like she was receptive to that. Did she tell you about our "Vegas" agreement? I should have just left it alone, but I couldn't, I just couldn't."

"Ah yes, I understand. You are not the first to succumb to the charms of a Gilmore girl. You poor sad sack..."

The comment made Logan smile.

"Just one question, " Chris continued, "are you really sure what you are feeling for my daughter is love and not masked obligation?"

"What do you mean? Of course, I am." "Really? Are you sure that you are in love with her, the real her, and not some idealized version of her that you built in your head?"

Logan again was silent.

"Look, I like you, Logan, you're a good guy. Nothing would make me happier than for you and Rory to find your way and become a real solid family. However, I was you at one point in time. I too loved the mother of my child. I spent countless hours thinking about our future together, and you know what happened? Our marriage, when it did finally happen, didn't even last a year. Why? Because I loved the idealized Lorelai, not the real Lorelai. I looked up and she was not the person I fell in love with anymore. She moved on. I, on the other hand, spent many good years unable to get close to anyone because I always had the Lorelai option floating in my head; it's no wonder my relationship with Sherry fell apart. So tell me, Logan, are you not taking chances with other women because of your hope for Rory? Were your feelings for your ex-fiancee real or were you just setting the relationship up to fail because you always had Rory in the back of your mind?"

"I really love Rory."

"Yes, you really show it," Chris said, looking around.

"You think buying out the bar was overboard."

"A tad. I understand the big gestures but subtly works also. It's the little things that really count."

The two sat in awkward silence and then Chris chimed in. "What if she doesn't love you back?"

"I try not to think about it."

"Oh. but you must. You have a child to think about. You know what one of my biggest mistakes was? Tethering my feeling for Lorelai with my actions with Rory. When I saw the future, I saw the whole package. Never once did I consider just Roy and me. Perhaps things would have been better if I did."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Rory and the baby, while a nice package, are not the only options. I intertwined my relationship with Lorelai with Rory, which I realize now was a bad idea. Rory was her own separate entity and I didn't work on our relationship as father and daughter until much later. It wasn't until after I had Gigi full-time that I realized just how fractured my relationship with Rory really was..."

"So what are you saying, Chris?"

"I'm saying this. Don't get so wrapped up in trying to get your relationship with Rory on-track that you lose sight of your child. What happens if Rory does not reciprocate your feelings? Will you be able to live with that? Will you be able to move on? Would you be able to not let that affect how you feel about and treat your child? You and I are a lot alike Logan. We both grew up in similar families, we both had unreasonable expectation put upon us, and you, like me, are having a child without being married. However, you don't have to be the kind of father I was or your father was, but to do that you have to put your kid first, not Rory. Yes, parent together the best you can, but don't wrap your hoped and dreams around her. Your kid is the sure thing. Bet on the kid, not on Rory."

Again, Logan was silent.

"Am I making any sense here?" Christopher asked.

"Yes, Chris. Yes, you are. Thank you for telling me this. You've given me a lot to think about.