21
Joy to Anger
"There is a sacredness in tears. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues"
/
"Fore!" Asuka yelled as her golf ball sailed down the course, she adjusted her hat and watched as it dropped right into the bunker. "Scheiße!" Asuka hissed, next to her sitting on the golf cart observing Shinji cocked one eyebrow. It was amazing what nearly a week could do, he was for the most part back under his own steam. They had hit a local gym nearby the hotel, and Shinji had used the exercise bike to work his leg muscles into a frenzy of activity. He needed a crutch to get around with but that was a minor inconvenience, Asuka had worked wonders for him both mentally and physically. He could get around without feeling exhaustion constantly, finally he could say adios to the wheelchairs that had made him feel so useless and weak. He drew in a deep breath and held it for a few heartbeats, it felt good to him. Asuka settled into the seat and he set the cart moving, he had agreed to be her caddy for her upcoming contest with Reddington. His godfather had challenged the girl to a game of golf, a sly twinkle in his eye as he did so. Shinji suspected there was a catch to this challenge somewhere and had voiced as much to Asuka. Asuka being Asuka was never going to back down from a challenge, so here she was practicing.
The girl grumbled under her breath about her errant ball, "winds traveling to the left." Shinji casually pointed out. Asuka's gaze snapped up to the surrounding tree's watching the leaves, instead of snapping back at him she nodded making a mental note. They reached the bunker and she hopped out, today was ultra-tight denim shorts day it seemed. Shinji leaned on the steering wheel and gazed at Asuka's rear, she leaned forward as she positioned herself all but thrusting her rear out. Shinji hormones applauded the girl loudly and he didn't miss the small smirk on her face, she knew what he was up to and was playing to her audience. Their second night Asuka had slept in her own bed, but from night three she had abandoned it preferring his company. Shinji revelled in that simple little thing, holding the girl against him as she slept. His dreams were consumed with Asuka's presence, and at least twice he'd woken with a sticky problem. He suspected Misato had mentioned to the girl this might occur, as to his immense relief she didn't make too much of a fuss. She had simply gotten some paper towels and left him to clean up, Shinji had sighed the second time it happened, being a teenager could be really irritating sometimes.
If Ritsuko and the others were to be believed then he was stuck like this, "couldn't have waited until we turned eighteen, oh no that would have been too convenient." Shinji had groused loudly, Asuka nodding her head in agreement at his sentiment. Asuka hacked her ball back onto the course before clambering out of the bunker, Shinji guided the cart in so as not to be out of position. It had not all been smooth sailing here, Shinji had drawn unwanted attention from another slightly older girl. The brunette did not seem to take his indifference as anything other than a challenge, and Shinji was too polite to tell the girl to take a hike. Asuka on the other hand had been eyeballing the girl, a rival in a race the other girl had no place being. It was not that the brunette was unattractive, rather that Shinji was simply not interested in her at all. Shinji had made it plain to Asuka his disinterest in his would-be paramour, thankfully Asuka had taken him at face value. After all she got to snuggle up to him on a night time, and that seemed to keep the red head happy. She still groused at him from time to time and called him an idiot, or her new favourite of pervert, but for the most part both teens were content exploring their new routine.
They spent another hour out on the course before breaking for lunch, Shinji driving them back to the main building. The one thing that puzzled him was where had Reddington been, the man had after all said he needed the practice as well. Parking up he grabbed his crutch and helped Asuka turn in her gear, "so… burger?" Asuka asked him the red head smirking. Shinji blushed, the burgers had become his new favourite food and he suspected if not for his pool time he would have been putting on a little extra weight. Reaching the main lobby he spotted his god father who turned as he called out to him, "There you are where did you two vanish off to?" Shinji blinked glancing at Asuka, even Baz was looking somewhat irritated at them. "Golf practice, why weren't you out there?" Asuka declared hands firmly on her hips, Reddington's eyes flickered as he looked at them both. Dembe had started to laugh hands on his stomach while Baz shook his head, "Golf practice, you wanted a match with Asuka remember?" Shinji spoke up, the criminal reached back scratching the back of his head, was it Shinji's imagination or did the man look uncharacteristically sheepish? Then the proverbial penny dropped, and Shinji let out a groan, "You meant miniature golf, didn't you?"
Asuka's eyes had gone wide and Shinji saw a look there he had not seen for a while, the girl had murder in mind. "Of all the idiotic stupid things, mein Gott I can see where he gets it from!" Asuka froze expression suddenly switching from anger to alarm, Shinji didn't miss the look of irritation that flickered across Reddington's face. "Huh? What are you on about?" However Asuka looked utterly crestfallen, Shinji's gaze snapped from Reddington to Asuka then back. "Red? What does Asuka mean by where I get it from?" The criminal finally seemed to snap out of his spell, there was a slowly gathering audience and he had never seen Asuka so distressed as now. "Well I suppose today is as good as any, but not here." The man crossed over and rested a hand on Asuka's shoulder, "I… I'm sorry I…" Shinji was floored, what did Asuka know that was causing her to act like this? "It was going to happen sooner or later, fortunately I've had that chat with Katsuragi." Asuka nodded but his words didn't seem to lift her spirits, and she kept her head down as they headed back up to their room. Shinji could feel tension in the air as they rode the elevator, and his brain was spinning a mile a minute as they reached the apartments living room.
'Where he gets it?' Shinji blinked as he passed through the doorway, surely Asuka couldn't mean that Reddington was related to him? Maybe she thought the man had been rubbing off on him, yet if that was it her reaction simply didn't fit. He sat on the couch, Asuka slid in next to him her gaze apologetic but this time to him. Shinji carefully reached out and touched her hand, as Reddington pulled up a seat in front of them both. Shinji felt a surge of irritation flicker through him, "so, who's dying here?" he snarked irritably. Reddington paused raising one eyebrow in annoyance of his own, Shinji raised his hand in apology. "You asked who you were, when Gendo told you that you were not his son." Shinji nodded feeling a sudden certainty steel over him, he felt anxious yet excited all at the same time. "Are you and I… related? Are you my f-father?" The words slipped out before he could stop himself, next to him Asuka squeezed his hand. Reddington removed his hat nodding his head before replying, "yes." Shinji sat back letting his mind process this simple one-word confirmation, "why not simply tell me from the beginning?" Reddington scratched his cheek a wry smile on his face, "Because I was never supposed to be involved in your life, I was only to reach out to you if all else failed. Gendo Ikari was supposed to raise you, that had been Yui's intent."
So his mother had put faith in the man she loved, she had kept Reddington on the reserves bench to use the baseball analogy. Emotion, raw and hot overwhelmed him. Tears crept down his face as he sat there, tears for the life he had never known, tears for the strange sense of liberation he felt. Gendo Ikari had never been a father to him save when it suited him, "Did he know?" Shinji asked his voice breaking. Reddington shook his head slowly, "No, he may have suspected, but I chose not to enlighten him." Yet Asuka had somehow found out, "I wanted to know, wonder girl suspected something. Before I agreed to coming out here, I… wanted to know." Shinji ran a tongue across his lips, by rights he should be furious with the girl for keeping secrets from him. "I swore her to secrecy, but it was Asuka who persuaded me you deserved the truth." Shinji sat his gaze fixed on the floor, his mind spinning over this revelation. He was if Reddington was telling the truth, the son of one of the most wanted men in the world. Yet Reddington had protected him and nurtured him, encouraged him and provided advice when he had needed it. Gendo Ikari had done none of those things, "If you need me to walk away I will." Reddington finally spoke, Shinji's gaze snapped up to the man and he saw uncertainty his gaze.
Rejection, Raymond Reddington the concierge of crime was scared of being rejected by him. Shinji had a unique perspective when it came to rejection, he had suffered it himself. Shinji knew in his heart that he could not and would not turn away from Reddington, even though the name brought with it danger. Reddington had enemies as did Shinji himself, and as a Reddington he would now have to confront those dangers. 'Reddington is so intelligent, and my mother was a scientist' The thought skittered across the surface as he fought his emotions into submission, and at the same time wondered at his own potential. He suddenly wanted to learn the lessons this man had to impart, to gain wisdom and grow. No, he would not turn his back on Reddington, any more than he could now turn his back on Asuka. Shinji had risen to his feet slowly pacing as he thought, both Asuka and Reddington watched him warily. The first thing he would have to do was forget the past, what was done was done and he would hold no regrets. Taking a breath he approached Reddington, the man had stood up hands folded behind his back. Then he slid his arms around the man, "I don't want you to walk away, you're my family, and family don't run out on each other."
He felt Reddington's arms encircle him, the embrace of a father Shinji had not known he'd had. Asuka let out a chuckle wiping at her eyes, "You two really are stupid." They returned her laugh, both of them admitting that perhaps yes, they were a pair of idiots. As they returned down stairs Asuka was firmly attached to Shinji's arm, the red head seemed relieved that things had ended as well as they had. Misato and Kaji were waiting in the foyer concern etched on his guardian's face. Shinji gave her a hug letting her know he was all right, Keen who was also waiting raised an eyebrow questioningly at Reddington. Shinji knew the danger that now came with his name, the same danger that had found him in Anslo Garrick. "I needed some advice, you know… girl advice." Shinji stated flicking his gaze to Asuka, he smirked as the red head blushed with a tiny smile on her face. "Come on let's eat, I'm starving!" Reddington declared, and together the group moved toward the food court. Behind him he failed to see the look of suspicion on Keen's face, her eyes tracing back and forth between Shinji and his father. A highly intelligent mind now working on a new puzzle, none of their little group, Keen included could appreciate or understand the storm that was heading their way.
/
"We'll be heading to New York after here." Reddington spoke carefully, Asuka nodded her head minigolfer club in hand. Their group had broken up into pairs, Shinji and Asuka would take on Reddington and Keen. Baz and Dembe would tackle Misato and Kaji, one would keep score while the other putted. Asuka felt a strange sense of elation, however unintentional it had been she had united a family. She could see already that Shinji was walking a little straighter, his head had often had this habit of looking at the ground. Now though his head was held high almost defiantly, Asuka smirked as she contemplated this new creature, one she had helped set loose. Reddington took his shot almost landing a hole in one, Asuka whistled in false appreciation, the man held his hands up in mock despair as he took his second shot. "New York huh?" Shinji mused aloud as he marked the score sheet for his father, "They still have that statue?" Keen nodded before replying, "They had to rebuild her after second impact, but she's back where she belongs." Asuka nodded as she lined up her shot, it would be nice to see these places before they started their hunt in earnest. Her ball sailed straight and true, and Asuka laughed as Reddington let out a despairing moan.
"I could have warned you, Asuka takes competition very seriously." Shinji said sagely, there was a twinkle of mischief in the boy's eyes. Any number of outcomes could have resulted from Shinji learning the truth. He could have ran terrified from the hotel, well… hobbled terrified from the hotel. He hadn't, and Asuka suspected she knew exactly what was going through his mind. His whole life had been a struggle with belonging, a struggle to find acceptance and a family to show him love. Reddington was many things to many people, a traitor to his country for one. Yet the man had steered a steady and true course when it came to Shinji, and Shinji was rewarding that by accepting his new position in life. If Reddington's criminal past remotely phased Shinji he did not show it, instead now viewing the world through the lenses of his sun glasses. Asuka would have paid good money to be able to read the boy's mind, he seemed suddenly so very clear and purposeful. They moved on through the course, Reddington scoring the occasional one shot. Keen kept stride with them keeping Asuka's score, yet the red head noted how the woman seemed focused on Shinji. "Trilby!" The boy suddenly declared loudly snapping his fingers, they all looked at him Reddington's expression one of thoughtfulness.
"Yes, actually I think that might just suit you as well." The concierge finally said smiling broadly, "Every man has to have his own style." Shinji said clearly proud of himself, Asuka sighed adjusting her simple red cap. Shinji had been wrestling with finding a style of hat to wear, now it seemed his mind had gravitated to a particular style. Asuka considered that as she lined up her next shot, Shinji stepped closer to her and whispered in her ear. "Stetson for you, bet you would look awesome." Asuka paused picturing herself in a Stetson cowboy hat, a slow grin split her lips at the idea, she could definitely pull that one off! Smirking she resumed her put, a new sense of adventure was tugging at her now, an adventure with the new Shinji Ikari. No, not Shinji Ikari, not anymore. The boy was a Reddington now, with everything that came from that. Still gentle and still an occasional idiot, he was however now bursting at the seams with new possibility. That excited Asuka and yet also scared her, as her ball finally found the hole, she realised she was all too distracted. "Idiot! I'll stick this club up your ass!" Asuka rounded on the boy, Shinji was whistling all to innocently. Reddington chuckled as he went to take his put, it was now that Keen coughed loudly.
The ball went askew causing Reddington to glower at the woman, Asuka grinned giving the woman a thumbs up. "So, New York, then what?" Shinji probed, Reddington finished his second put before turning. "Then we reunite with the task force, then we find Grey." Reddington informed them, Asuka frowned cocking her head as she mentally ran over her geography lessons. "Wouldn't that mean doubling back on ourselves though? Seems a bit wasteful." Shinji glanced between the pair then smirked, Asuka paused before realising what the man had meant. "You mean they'll meet us in New York of course." Asuka suddenly felt as though she was off the pace, she had thought he meant for them to then go to Washington DC. "We still need a lead on Grey though." Keen pointed out, Reddington nodded once more informing her he had already contacted a tracker. "Glen will gather information for me, at least I hope he will." Asuka found herself wondering who this Glen was, she imagined a native American using skills honed over his life, tracking his target through the wilderness with a dog at his side. Shinji had stopped keeping pace with them and she turned, the boy had a distant expression on his face.
Asuka crossed the distance between them passing Reddington as she did so, she heard another crack sound and was about to address it when white hot pain flared in her side. Asuka didn't remember falling over, more she had felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Blinking she tried to sit up when all hell broke loose, gunshots echoed across the mini golf range. Reddington and Keen were shooting at someone or something she wasn't sure, all she knew was that she had a throbbing pain in her side. Shinji dropped down next to her as she reached around to touch where it hurt, and she froze at the feeling of wet warmth. Her hand came away covered in blood and she blinked, "I… I think I've been shot?" Shinji's eyes widened, "Asuka's been hit!" Reddington turned suddenly, and Asuka saw the concern suddenly all to clearly on the mans face. More shots, this time coming from where Kaji and Misato had been playing. "What do I do?" Shinji asked desperately, and Asuka could feel his panic starting to infect her. "Stay calm, keep pressure on the wound." Keen spoke firmly, and Asuka hissed as Shinji tore off a strip of his shirt and pressed it to her side. Shock was starting to set in as Reddington spoke on his phone, she felt herself starting to shake.
The gunshots finally ceased, and she was aware of being scooped up in Kaji's arms, "I wait my whole life for this, and it happens now?" Asuka joked her voice shaking, her teeth started to chatter even though she didn't feel cold. "She's going into shock, we need to get her to a hospital!" Misato stated her tone laced with concern despite her evident effort to hide it, "no hospitals, it might give our position away!" Dembe responded, they were moving and despite her awareness becoming fuzzy Asuka tried to see if they had gotten her shooter. There was no sign of anyone dead on the ground, though in the distance she could faintly hear police sirens. Her heart suddenly seemed to be going a mile a minute, and Asuka was convinced it was trying to exit her chest. She felt numbness spreading up her extremities and began to panic, "Asuka slow your breathing your hyperventilating!" Asuka forced herself to slow her breathing, "I don't want to die damnit!" She whimpered, and for once she didn't care who saw how scared she was. They reached one of the vans and Shinji clambered in ahead, Asuka nestled into the boys arms. Her gaze met Shinji's as the door slammed shut and she flinched, she saw her own fear and shock mirrored back at her, but more than that she saw a deep and building anger in the boys eyes.
AN: Some of you may note I have used this particular plot point before, originally it was Reddington taking the bullet instead of Asuka. However, after some careful thought on the matter I decided to change that. It was always likely going to take a big hit to start Shinji down his new path, though he still has a ways to go.