Hey peeps!
Wooo. That last chapter was… dramatic. To those of you who had queries, they should be answered in this chapter. And also, I thank Dauntlessgirl347 personally for her review. She knows why, and I think I just needed to be told.
The last chapter sure was fun to write, and I enjoyed this one just as much. I made up some of the surnames in this chapter, I am not too creative with names so don't judge. I'm actually quite proud that I'm now updating more, but I guess that's just the holidays for you. I have another two weeks, so you can expect frequent updates before I go back to the usual 2-4 day schedule. Btw, there is a Tobias POV at the bottom which I'm not too proud of, but I felt it was necessary. Actually, I felt this whole chapter was a little shitty but hey, I tried my best.
Enjoy!
TRIS POV
I follow the geography teacher away from the field, forcing back any more tears that decide to fall. I learn her name is Mrs Lewis when Lauren asks her whether she thinks she should go to the school nurse. I scoff, Lauren can't be that injured. People only go to the school nurse when it's something they can't handle, and all she really does is call the hospital.
Mrs Lewis takes me to the head teacher's office and knocks on the door. It surprises me that the head teacher stays behind this long after school, seeing as most teachers clear off pretty quickly. The door opens and the head teacher, Mr Brice seems shocked to see me there.
"Mrs Lewis, good afternoon. And Miss Prior," Before I can wonder over how he knows my name he continues, "I have seen your name on some of the art trophies." I breathe a sigh of relief now that I now Mr Brice knows I'm a good pupil. Maybe, just maybe I won't get expelled. "Take a seat." I go and sit at the chair on front of his desk and he goes to sit in his desk chair. He rests his elbows on the table and frowns at me. Mrs Lewis stands behind me, and I don't even bother to prove to myself that she has a 'bitterly disappointed' look on her face.
"Now, what happened?" I am about to start speaking, but Mrs Lewis cuts me off.
"I caught Miss Prior attacking Lauren Stokes after being told by Edward Smith after the game of football." Mr Brice raises his eyebrows and motions for me to speak.
I take it I am meant to recount what happened so I set off. "After the match I was congratulating the players…" No need to say who, and how. I am still shocked at myself that I did what I did, but I am so overly happy that he responded with just as much enthusiasm. "And Lauren started talking to me, taunting me about my best friend Al, who recently moved away. She said some really horrible things, and I guess I just got really overprotective and hit her." I hang my head in shame, not knowing how he will react. I have never been in trouble with the head teacher before and I don't know whether to expect a fair punishment or not. I hope it's the prior.
"Well, Miss Prior. I wouldn't have expected a student such as yourself to attack another student, and it certainly stains your clean slate a bit. You have a record as a good pupil, but nonetheless you deliberately hurt a peer. I hope you understand how I cannot let that go unpunished. The punishment for fighting is expulsion, and I think a few days off would be best for you to… reconsider your actions. You are expelled for two days, for fighting. Starting Monday." My heart breaks a little and I know that every chance to be able to do my music assessment have gone down the drain. I could have hoped to do it on Tuesday, had I only been expelled for Monday, because there was the possibility that not everyone would be able to perform in class due to the numbers. But now I know that all the performances will be cleared Monday and Tuesday, and Mr Brice doesn't seem like someone who would withdraw their judgement.
Tears brim in my eyes and cloud my vision as I ask in my strongest voice, "And what of Lauren?" Unfortunately my voice wavers and breaks a bit, earning me a sympathetic look from Mr Brice.
"Lauren will be dealt with accordingly, but for now I suggest you go home, and we'll see you again on Wednesday. I will be contacting your parents." He says sternly, and I know that I can expect a huge telling off tonight. I dread when I enter the doorway and I don't know whether I'll be able to make it much longer without crying. My will is strong, but I haven't ever experienced trouble in school before, especially when it could wreck my future like this. I have always wanted to do something with music in my life and a fail in this year could wreck that for me.
I rise slowly and make my way to the door. I open and stumble out, the tears starting to fall silently. There to meet me is Tobias, and for once I don't feel comfort when his arms wrap around me. I mumble to him about being expelled and hope that he catches it, because I don't want to repeat it. All I feel is that this is my future, gone. The highest grade I could possibly get is forty percent, and that part would be from theory exams. I can't believe I lost my practical…
"Tris, it'll be fine, okay? We'll speak to the music teacher, explain your situation and get her to allow you another chance. Yeah?" Suddenly I can't bear to be in his arms any more, not when he thinks this can be sorted out. I reach behind and remove his hands from my back and shove them towards him.
"How can you think that this can be sorted out? That's sixty percent of my grade gone! I have a fail for definite and you think, for one second, that we can persuade the music teacher to give me another shot!? It doesn't work like that! She will say it's my fault, just like the other teachers!" He looks shocked for a second, but then regains his composure.
"Don't take this out on me." He hisses. "I wasn't the one who got into a fight. Now I'm not saying that this is your fault, because it's not. But honestly, if you're angry, leave me out of this. I had nothing to do with it." I narrow my eyes at him and a few snarky retorts come to mind, but they are by no means good enough. He needs to see it how it is, and he most definitely had something to do with it.
"But you did though. Didn't you?" I laugh bitterly. "You could have stopped her, explained to her that what Edward was saying was a lie. So don't tell me to leave you out of this, because there was so much you could have done. When I fail, I'll be sure to remember that you were part of the reason." His face hardens and I know I have done it, blocked him out and shut him up. He won't be trying to be friends with me for a long time, and that hurts. In my haze of anger, I said the first thing that came to my mind no matter what the consequences. I know, that really even if Tobias had tried harder to get his voice heard it wouldn't have mattered and Mrs Lewis would have just ignored it even more.
I can't stand to be here any longer and I whip round, not wanting to see the emotionless look on his face that turns him into Four, and run. I ruined every chance I had with him, if I had any at all. I let my emotions run wild, but not in the right way – I get the feeling if it hadn't been him, the friend that I care about in that way, my words wouldn't have been as hard. Because that's what we do when we're upset, we lash out at the ones we love the most.
PAGE BREAK
"Beatrice Prior, if that is you at that door, come inside at once!" I hear my mother's voice. I knew it, I knew she'd be angry and I think anger is better than what I faced with Tobias. He became emotionless and blocked me out and what causes most hurt is I know that it was my fault. Why is everything going so wrong!
I step inside the door, guessing that my mom must have heard my keys turning in the lock. I hope my dad is still at work and hasn't heard yet, so I can deal with fire-breathing dragons one by one, but I have no such luck. Both my parents stand in the hallway to the living room and I'm sure if it could, steam would be coming out of their ears.
"A phone call from the head teacher, saying you attacked a pupil, and are now expelled!" My dad shouts, and I stand there taking it. I deserve this, after what I did to Tobias. I know what happened with Lauren isn't what I deserved – she should have gotten my punishment for what she said but it doesn't work like that. I feel like this, failing music and getting shouted at by my parents, is because of what I said to Tobias because the Lauren thing doesn't really matter to me. It fades off into the distance of my mind, way behind Tobias and trouble.
"What happened?" My mom demands, slightly less angry than my dad who is seething.
"I attacked Lauren." I say dully.
"Why!?" My dad shouts.
"Because she was talking shit about Al! Saying horrible things about him that he didn't deserve!" My parents look both taken by surprise, but they seem to calm down a lot now that they know the reason.
"Beatrice, I understand that you thought you had to stick up for Al, but fighting isn't really an answer." My father reprimands me.
"I know, but I think I've learned my lesson, and you know why?" I watch their faces grow curious and I remember they don't know about the music assessment. "Because I have a music assessment on Monday worth sixty percent of the total grade and I won't be able to do it. I failed music." Saying it like that in a safer environment when I'm not pent up with rage feels like a realisation, like this is news to me or it suddenly became very real. I failed music, and that's the truth.
"Beatrice honey…" My mom consoles, and I know that they are starting to forget their anger because that's the kind of people they are – very forgiving. I just ignore my mom and her comments and go to my room.
I cry myself to sleep that night.
TOBIAS POV
Saturday morning comes, and I dread getting out of bed. Not only do I have to deal with Zeke and Uriah today, but I have to pretend that what happened with Tris yesterday didn't occur.
It pains me when I think of her, knowing that she was right in saying that I should have done more to convince Mrs Lewis. She's going to fail her music exam, and I will be at fault. She happy at first and I cherish the moments that we hugged, especially just after the game when she wrap up to me and hugged me. I felt like I was on fire the whole time, my whole body alive with electrical currents. I wouldn't be so stupid to think that possible she felt the same. But then it all went wrong, and suddenly her whole body was alive and fighting, and I couldn't shake the sense of power and fire that she brought with her whenever she was angry.
I drag myself out of bed and throw on some clothes, hating this day that has already started. Worse off, I know I can't see her again until Wednesday. She won't want to talk to me, I can already tell, but just seeing her will make me feel better.
I leave the house and go to Zeke's, where I know he'll be wanting to find out about the fight first-hand along with Uriah. They'll want to know details that I can't bear to give.
"Four, my man!" Zeke shouts as I walk through his door. He always leaves it open when he knows I'm coming so I can just waltz in whenever I want. But I suppose it's better than waiting on the doorstep for him to answer the door when he could still be in bed.
"Sit, and spill. Wait, I'll call Uriah." He says. "Uriah!" He screeches up the stairs. "Get your fat ass down here or I'll beat you up by accident!" I snort, coming as close to any happy emotion as I think I can for a while. Uriah arrives muttering something indistinct.
"You know you two are just like girls interrogating each other about their dates." I say, and Zeke smirks.
"Of course, you know, we're girls in disguise as guys."
Uriah and Zeke laugh, but I am too sullen to laugh.
"Anyway, what happened with Tris and Lauren yesterday? After the game? You two were getting cosy and then… bam!" Uriah says with wild hand gestures. I'm surprised he hasn't taken anyone's eye out yet.
"Lauren started talking shit, and Tris is expelled for Monday and Tueday, therefore missing her music assessment which as you know is worth sixty percent of her grade." Uriah lets out slow hiss through his teeth and Zeke turns his head to the side and exhales harshly.
"Man… that's – that's harsh." Zeke says. I know that both of them care for Tris in a way that shouldn't make me jealous, but it does. They have the kind of friendship with her that they can just hold her to them and flirt in a friendly way that I could never do. But I do remember that Tris doesn't like hugging, and still feel more than honoured that she will hug me.
"And what about when you two were getting 'cosy', as Uriah so delicately put it?"
I ponder over what to tell them – do I admit that I like her, or say I don't and that we're friends? If I do tell them, do I tell them the extent of how I feel, or just keep it to a minimum?
They're my friends. They wouldn't hesitate to tell me the whole truth, so I should just get this over with.
"I like her. A lot. After the game she came and hugged me, and the whole time I felt like electricity was coursing through my veins." I take a second for them to let that sink in, and when they do come out of shock, I am angered by Zeke's answer.
"Dude, just tell her."
"How Zeke!?" My voice flares up and I have to hold myself back from the frustrating-ness of the situation. How doesn't he get it? "How am I supposed to tell her that I think about her all the time? Or that when she smiles, I feel like she could power the world with its brightness? How about that I want to be the one supporting her when things go south, or the first person that she comes to when they go right? I can't do sappy, and I don't know how to express what I am thinking into words when I am around her that aren't just jokes or remarks! I can't do it…" I trail off, shocked at first as to what I just admitted. I just let my words run free and took thoughts that I hadn't properly developed and put them into sentences. Now I realize that everything I said was true, and that I want to be by her side whenever she needs me or whenever she doesn't.
I want to be the one who is able to look into her eyes without having to restrain myself, or noticing the pink blush on her pale cheeks and knowing that I am allowed to do that. She has a simple beauty, one that has been hidden by modern stereotypes and unachievable models. It's the kind of beauty that becomes even more so every time you remember that she can't see it.
Only you can.