Thank you reviewers!
LoveAsh87, somthgIlike2do, ilovemyself26, nightwish fan, buff802y - Yeah sorry for the cliffhanger, my bad. I'm also sorry that I gave good news and then had Spencer collapse. I am mean.
freakanatomy – Sorry! Here is what happened…
mutt009 – You're spot on about why Spencer collapsed and about the reactions. Sorry for the tears!
WillowOn3 – Good call on why she collapsed…please put down the baseball…pretty please! I like their banter too, I promise there will be more of it!
bethers85 – Thanks, see I posted fairly quickly so you guys didn't have to wait too long!
jareaufan – Yeah I'll admit the cliffhanger was mean, and thanks I hope you like the rest of the story!
ebonyedlove – thanks! Glad you liked it!
Usual Disclaimer – SoN not mine
Sorta Fairytale
Chapter Twenty-One – Believe In Me
Her world was spinning, there were screams, cries, blinding lights, numbing blackness and an aching that started in her head and spread down over her body. Spencer lay on the floor where she had collapsed as chaos erupted around her. She was unable to move or speak as she fell in to blackness.
As soon as Spence had started to sink to the floor, Ashley was on her feet and sprinting over, reaching her wife just in time to stop her head hitting the hard wood floor. All the children then started to scream blue murder, Hannah and Lucas the loudest. Their cries could be heard by neighbours at the other end of the street who seriously worried that someone was murdering children in the Carlin home.
Chelsea very quickly got to her feet to usher the distressed children from the room, Hannah and Lucas having to be picked up and carried out literally kicking and screaming as the stared at their Mommy's still form and cried for her to wake up.
Paula had reacted almost as fast as Ashley, she yelled at Arthur to call an ambulance and moved to her daughter's side. Paula began examining Spencer as best she could, the process being more difficult given the way she was trembling.
Arthur rushed to the phone and spoke in desperate, frightened tones as he begged them to hurry. Glen stood still in shock, tears making their way from his blue eyes, before fleeing the room to help Chelsea with the four almost hysterical children.
Hannah was going crazy. She was screaming and hitting at her Aunt and Uncle while they tried to stop her getting back to her Mommy. All she could think was that she had to get to her Mommy.
Lucas had curled up in a ball on the floor and was sobbing while rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb which he hadn't done since he was a toddler. Clay and Tahlia were crying quietly as they watched their Mommy and Daddy try and hold onto their cousin who was quickly turning a beet red as she struggled against them.
Back in the dinning room Paula knelt over her daughter and tried to stay as calm as possible when everything in her was telling her to react the exact same way her young granddaughter was. She wanted to scream and cry and beg Spencer to wake up.
She looked up at Ashley who was clutching her wife's hand and leaning over so she could speak softly into her ear. Ashley's tears were running in torrents down her face and landing on her wife's pale, still cheek as she struggled to control her own impulse to scream and lose complete control. She wanted to shake Spencer's shoulders and yell at her to wake up.
Arthur stood stunned behind the women watching his wife work on their little girl. He closed his eyes and sent up a little prayer that his daughter made it through this. He knew this family could not survive a hit like losing Spencer. Losing Clay had been hard enough. He looked over at the brunette holding firm to his daughter and nearly cried at the broken look in her expressive eyes.
He had seen Ashley Davies display a countless number of emotions, she never had been very good at hiding them from him, or anyone that really knew her, but he had never seen her look so broken and defeated. She looked about ready to succumb to the darkness that was snapping at her heals.
He moved to the young woman's side and wrapped and arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Ashley sagged against him and started to sob. All the fear and pain she was feeling came out of her in violent cries that quickly soaked her father-in-law's shirt. Arthur and Paula met each other's eyes over the brunette's head, both of them fighting their own tears.
"The Ambulance is here!" Glen called from the living room where he was still restraining Hannah who was fighting him with all her strength. Her screams had quietened now as her throat became raw. Her tears were falling silently as she punched, shoved and struggled in her Uncle's arms.
Chelsea ran to the door to let the paramedics in and led them quickly to the dinning room. Paula stepped back and began rattling off medical facts and vital information to the paramedics, while Arthur dragged a reluctant Ashley out of the way. She clung to him desperately, her hands clutching his collar into tight fists, and sobbed harder as the paramedics spoke in hushed whispers of things she didn't understand but still found terrifying.
After a few minutes the paramedics turned to Paula and said softly, "We need to get her to hospital now." Paula nodded and her tears began falling again. She stepped next to her husband and daughter-in-law and let herself be pulled into their forlorn little group hug.
The paramedics began loading Spencer onto the gurney and then turned to the three crying adults, "Will one of you be coming with us?"
Arthur and Paula looked at Ashley who glanced over to the living room where she could still hear the cries of the children. Catching her torn look Arthur said softly, "Go with Spencer Ash, I'll stay with the kids and calm them down. You won't be any good to them until you know what is going on with Spencer. Please go and be with my little girl."
Ashley nodded and followed the paramedics out of the house. They loaded Spencer into the back and helped Ashley in after her before taking off towards the hospital at a frightening speed.
Ashley spent the whole ride to the hospital watching the paramedic working on her terrifyingly still wife. She was praying to her mother-in-law's God that her wife would be alright. She could not imagine the rest of her life without the blue eyes blonde by her side. That was a world she was not interested in living in.
After they arrived at the hospital everything started moving in fast forward. Spencer was raced into the belly of the hospital while a nurse led a hysterical Ashley to the waiting room while she insisted that she had to go after her wife. Glen and Paula arrived just in time to hear Ashley throw a slew of curse words at the nurse that made all the blood rush from her face.
Paula reached out to Ashley and pulled her into her arms, "Ash it's going to be ok, it is. Now come and sit with Glen while I go and find out what is going on with our girl."
Ashley reluctantly settled in the hard plastic waiting room chairs with her brother-in-law and stared down at her violently trembling hands. She hated this feeling of loss of control. She hated feeling so helpless. Ashley had effortlessly stepped into the role of protector and it was killing her that she could not protect her family from this.
She watched as Glen covered her shaking hands with his own. She looked up into his big blue eyes that were so like her wife's and then she broke down again. She sobbed violently, her entire frame convulsing with the ferocity of her cries.
Glen pulled her into his arms and held her close. He had never seen Ashley like this. She always put on a brave, strong front. So much so that it was easy to forget how vulnerable she really was underneath the bravado. He felt his own tears falling as he held the breaking woman.
He knew that if they were to lose Spencer they would lose Ashley too. They did not exist without each other. He also knew that if Spencer died his entire world would be irrevocably changed. She was fundamental to the lives of the people he loved, she was fundamental to him.
They stood in there in the waiting room in each others arms for what felt like hours, in reality it was about fifteen minutes. Ashley had her face buried in his chest as sobs tore through her body. She was so scared.
They heard the sound of footsteps behind them and turned to find Judy and Paula approaching them. Ashley pulled away from Glen and stepped towards the two women. Their expressions were unreadable and it was clear that Paula had been crying.
"What's going on? How is she?" Ashley choked out. She felt Glen step up beside her and place a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Paul swallowed thickly and moved to take Ashley's hand in hers, before nodding to Judy to tell her she should explain.
Judy took a step closer and smiled sadly, "Ashley, Spencer is stable right now but has been slipping in and out of consciousness. She is weak, so very weak and her body is not coping with the strain the treatment has put her under. Dr. Gratis wants to keep her in hospital for a while. We need to get her on an IV and start building her strength so she can endure the next round of treatment. The problem is we don't know if she is going to be strong enough to cope with the chemo. I promise you we are doing everything we can."
Ashley stared at the nurse for a moment and then her legs gave way. She sunk to the ground in a limp heap. She couldn't cry, she couldn't speak, she could hardly breathe. She was in total shock. She whispered softly, "But she's in remission, she's better."
Paula knelt down beside her daughter in law and pulled her into her arms. Ashley did not move or react in anyway to the older blonde's embrace. "Ashley her body has been fighting this disease so hard and now, even though the cancer is in remission, her body is struggling." Paula murmured as fresh tears filled her eyes. Ashley had been so strong for so long and it seemed like this blow was just one too many.
"Ash, do you want to come and see Spencer now? You can sit with her for as long as you like," Paula asked softly.
The brunette turned her head slightly and looked up into Paula's eyes. Her usually bright, expressive brown eyes were dull and emotionless. She looked absolutely numb. She nodded slowly and let Glen help her to her feet. They were about to walk towards the doors that would lead them to Spencer when Ashley stopped and turned to face her mother in law.
"Paula I'm so sorry. I promised you I'd protect her and look after her, I've let you down," Ashley husked out.
Paula reached forward and yanked Ashley into her arms, "Don't you dare say that! You cannot protect her from this, this is not your fault! Don't for one second think that this is your fault Ashley, don't you dare!"
Ashley nodded numbly, not really absorbing a word that was said to her. Paula sighed and began leading the brunette down the hall to the room that housed their girl. She pushed the door open quietly and stepped back to allow Ashley to walk in first.
Ashley sucked in a harsh gasp of air at the sight of her wife hooked up to a multitude of machines that all beep and buzzed while they monitored the unconscious woman. She also had several bags hanging beside her, feeding various lifesaving liquids into her arm. Ashley felt like she was standing outside of her body watching herself walk slowly towards the bed that held her delicate and fragile wife.
Spencer looked so tiny on the bed, so sunken and skeletal. Her once tanned skin was devoid of colour and was now an ashen grey, while her once lustrous, rich golden hair was thin and sparsely covering her head, visible now that her baggy beanie was gone. Ashley swallowed hard around the huge lump in her throat and reached out to take hold of the pale, slender hand resting on the bed covers.
The familiar smooth skin was warm, too warm. Ashley sunk into the chair beside the bed and gazed down at the woman she had spent almost half her life with and felt lost. She didn't know what to do to make this better. She didn't know how to help her wife through this.
For the first time since Spencer got sick Ashley really started to believe that they would lose her. Even in her darkest moments Ashley had always felt a shimmer of hope that her wife would survive this illness and live a long live with her. Any other possibility just wasn't an option. She had always believed that the love they felt for each other would save her. Sitting in that hospital room with her mother and brother in law behind her and her unconscious wife in front of her, Ashley lost hope.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips against the hand she clutched in her own and prayed to a God she didn't believe in to give her strength and help her find the courage and hope she was going to need to survive this, to help her family survive this.
Glen wrapped his arms around his mother as Paula sobbed brokenly. He stood still and watched the brunette woman he had once hated and now adored fall apart. Ashley's shoulders shook as she let her tears fall down onto the bed covers. Glen tightened his hold on his mother and closed his eyes against the heartbreaking sight in front of him.
Paula tried to stifle her cried without much success. She clung to her son and couldn't help but think that she was very possibly facing the horror of burying another child. Losing one child was hard enough, but she knew she couldn't survive losing another. No parent should ever have to bury their child.
Ashley felt a gentle hand in her curls and raised her watery eyes up to see the source of the touch. The sight in front of her made a tiny smile break out on her face. Beautiful blue eyes gazed at her as her wife weakly stroked her hair. Spencer smiled tiredly before dropping her hand back to the bed.
Paula and Glen stepped further into the room and smiled tearfully at Spencer as she turned her eyes to look at them. Paula wiped away her tears and said softly, "I'll go get the doctor, Glen come with me."
Glen followed his mother out the door and left the couple behind. Ashley fixed Spencer with a look of so much fear and heart ache that Spencer felt her own heart breaking. Spencer took a deep breath and whispered, "Please don't stop believing in me my Love, have faith in me Ash because I am not leaving you and our family willingly. Believe in me Ashley."
Ashley burst into wracking sobs and rested her head on her wife's stomach. Spencer ran her hands through her wife's silky curls hoping her touch could sooth the brunette. They sat like that until the doctor walked in with Paula and Glen. Ashley sat up and wiped at the tears on her face.
She looked down at her wife and smiled tenderly before leaning in to kiss her forehead, her lips lingering against the soft skin. She moved back a little so she could look into the blue eyes that had had her hypnotised since day one and whispered, "I will always believe in you. I love you Spencer."
Spencer smiled tiredly and whispered back, "I love you too." Spencer's eyes began to flutter and she drifted off to sleep, just sleep not unconsciousness. Ashley retook her seat and sat silently clutching her wife's hand as Dr. Gratis checked her over.
Once she was sure her patient was stable and sleeping peacefully, the doctor slipped out with Paula and Glen following behind her, leaving the two women alone.