Disclaimer: I can not be blamed for this prompt, it had nothing to do with me! Blame Candy, who this fic is dedicated to! XD And all the characters and the castle and what have you all go to JK who shouldn't have made it a habit of hers to kill of all the best characters. Please don't take offence! Brace yourselves…
DILDO
Peter looked confused. Which, in fairness, he did do most of the time. James looked perfectly calm, and Sirius was holding back the booming laughter. Remus was, as per usual, sat in the armchair by the fire with his favourite book and a bar of chocolate. He didn't even look up, deciding that he would take no part in this whatsoever, but it didn't stop him from listening in! "You're telling me that you don't know what a dildo is?" James asked, not keeping his voice low, although there was no need, because they were the only one's in the common room, thanks to it being such a lovely day outside.
Sirius could contain his laughter no longer, and passed it off as a coughing fit, and he did it pretty well, I may add! "It's the latest broom isn't it? Girls just love to ride on those" Sirius said, biting back the laugher. Remus rolled his eyes, although he had to admit that Sirius had done pretty well to add that comment in. "Well Sirius, I think we should let Peter find out for himself, the exact use of the dildo. Although I may suggest that you should ask some member of staff for the best accurate description" James said, a smirk on his lips. Peter nodded enthusiastically, and rushed out of the common room. The three left behind could hold it no longer, and burst out laughing.
Later that night, a panting Peter returned to the common room. James was catching the snitch he'd pinched, letting it go, and catching it again, much to the amusement and wonder of the group of girls surrounding him. Sirius was sleeping in the seat next to him, and Remus was almost done with that book. James saw Peter out of the corner of his eye and nudged Sirius awake. "Show's over, ladies, wake up, Pads, wake up" James said, muttering the last part to a groggy Sirius, who jumped up from the chair. "What do you mean no rabbits?" Sirius exclaimed, before rubbing his eyes and realising he was awake. "Oh, never mind" He muttered, slumping back in the chair.
"Hey, Pete, who did you ask? What did they say?" James asked enthusiastically, wondering how much trouble Pete had gotten into. Peter slumped into the nearest vacant chair and let out some sort of whine. "I asked the flying teacher, and the transfiguration teacher too. They called me a pervert!" Peter exclaimed, somewhat defeated. Pads chuckled and James joined in. Peter, who still hadn't gotten an answer, turned to Remus, who'd looked up from his book with a mixture of curiosity and pity. "Remus, what's a dildo?" Peter asked his last resort. Lupin put down his book and in a low voice explained. Peter jumped up from the chair when he had finished his explanation. "Why didn't you tell me in the first place, Remus?" Peter asked, exasperated. "You didn't ask" Remus answered simply. Another wine from Peter, as he slid back into the chair. James and Sirius were rolling around laughing now, and Peter kept his eyes on them. In a low voice, he turned slightly to Remus, and asked him "So, erm, what exactly is a pervert?" .