Chapter 20: Shattered Dreams
"When we were young the future was so bright / The old neighborhood was so live / Every kid on the whole damn street / Was gonna make it big / And not get beat / … / Chances thrown / Nothing's free / Longing for / What it used to be / Still it's hard, hard to see / Fragile lives / Shattered dreams."
"Payson, hurry up! We've got to be at the gym in fifteen minutes!" Sasha called from down the hall in Harper's room, where he was putting together a small bag for her to take to Grandma and Grandpa Keeler's.
Payson scrambled to gather her things for the day. They still had to drop off Harper and she was dying for a cup of coffee, at this rate they wouldn't make it to the Rock anywhere near on time. Slinging her purse over her shoulder she took one last look around the room to make sure she had everything.
Her gaze landed on the black box on top of her dresser. She hadn't been wearing her engagement ring in public, wanting to keep the news in the family for a little while, but keeping her finger bare when her ring was sitting there waiting for her was excruciating. Rubbing her thumb over where her ring should be, Payson reached for the box and slipped it on. She and Sasha had enjoyed two weeks of newly engaged life, and it was time to stop tip-toeing around.
"Payson!"
"Coming!" With the weight of her ring comfortable on her finger, she hurried to meet Sasha and Harper. They were already halfway down the stairs, Harper draped over Sasha's shoulder, fast asleep. At the bottom, Payson slipped past Sasha and opened the door before running to the car and opening the back so that Sasha could deposit Harper in her car seat uninterrupted.
"You're wearing your ring," he muttered as he buckled Harper in. Payson smiled.
"Is that okay with you?" she asked. Sasha closed the door softly and then reached for Payson, taking her firmly by the waist and pulling her into his chest. She snaked her hands up over his chiseled shoulders and around the back of her neck, sifting her fingers through the short hairs at the nape of his neck.
"Yes," he said before sweeping in to kiss her firmly. She bent backwards with the momentum, tightening her hold on him and laughing against his lips as he pressed forward to exaggerate the dip.
"We're late," she reminded him, pulling back just enough to get the words out. Sasha growled, sweeping his tongue into her mouth for just a moment before stepping away.
"Fine," he groused. "Let's go."
#
There was already a group of ten gymnasts waiting outside when they finally pulled up to the Rock. Sasha sighed as he put the car in park.
"You just had to have your coffee," he teased. Payson raised an eyebrow.
"Would you rather have dealt with an un-caffeinated me?" she asked sweetly. Sasha snorted.
"Never. But we do have a coffee machine in the office, you know." Now it was Payson's turn to snort.
"Not quick enough, that thing is so old it takes an hour to brew two cups." They slid from the car, Payson with her coffee clutched in her right hand, her left hanging what she hoped was inconspicuously by her purse. They weren't actively trying to hide their engagement, but if the gymnasts just happened to not notice she would be okay with it. The chances of that though, when the diamond on her finger was two carats, were slim.
"See, this is why I should have just stayed," Annabelle said as Sasha unlocked the doors. "I go home with Sam and my parents and you two fall apart."
"Get to work, you cheeky brat," Sasha said, though his tone lacked any real bite. Annabelle skipped away and Payson climbed the steps to the office, ready to slog through all the emails and phone calls the Rock had gotten on Sunday while Sasha ran conditioning.
"Payson?" Payson jerked and looked up to find Annabelle leaning in from outside.
"Shouldn't you be conditioning?" Payson asked. Annabelle nodded quickly, her gaze landing on Payson's ring.
"You're wearing your ring?" Payson sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Yes, but please don't go making an announcement. Now what do you need?" Payson pressed. Sasha would come looking for Annabelle any second.
"Oh, right," Annabelle said, giving her head a little shake. "Sam is stopping by with my parents in a little while. They wanted to talk to you and Sasha, I thought I'd give you the heads up."
"Thank you. Now get back to work," Payson urged. Annabelle gave her a tiny salute and then disappeared.
Payson set about returning emails, ignoring four from Lauren about whether or not they'd decided on which of her sketches to use. The rest were mostly mundane questions from parents about one thing or another, and of course a random media request was thrown in the mix as well. All easy answers, except the ones from Lauren. Payson knew she was going to have to find a way to let the girl down gently and soon.
The main doors banged open, making Payson jump. Judging by the murmur that went through the group on the floor, it could only be one person.
"Payson Keeler!" Lauren cried as she swept into the office. Payson took a deep breath and held it in, counting to ten.
"Lauren," Payson said, giving her former teammate a thin smile.
"You told me that you and Sasha would decide on my sketches a week ago. I need to get started soon and you delaying the process is only….oh my God!" Lauren's shriek was so loud it left Payson's ears ringing, and she was certain one of her eardrums had ruptured.
"What?" Payson asked sharply. Sasha came barreling into the office.
"What is it?" he gasped. Payson shook her head.
"You're engaged!" Lauren screamed, just a shrilly as before. Payson resisted the urge to slap her hands over her ears. The gym went dead silent and Payson knew their secret was out.
"Yes, Lauren," Payson admitted with a sigh. "Sasha and I are engaged." Lauren squealed, jumping up and down and clapping her hands together before throwing her arms around Sasha and then practically sitting herself in Payson's lap.
"When's the big day?" Lauren gasped. Payson rolled her eyes and decided to just be straight with Lauren, she would find out eventually anyway.
"Six weeks." Lauren gasped, choking on air as her eyes went wide and a pained look settled over her face.
"Six. Weeks?"
"Six weeks," Sasha confirmed. Payson could see the tension in his jaw and she couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Okay, well, forget the leos. You can call GK for those, if I only have six weeks to design and make your wedding dress it's going to take all my energy and this is so much more important," Lauren said. She fumbled in her giant designer purse, pulling out a pen and a notepad. "I have so many ideas."
"Lauren," Payson sighed.
"Payson, can I speak to you a minute?" Sasha jumped in. Payson frowned at him, but stood and followed him out onto the platform at the top of the stairs. The whole gym was staring and the moment they appeared the room burst into applause and cheers. Payson felt the heat rising in her cheeks.
"Get back to work!" Sasha bellowed. The gymnasts immediately scattered, more afraid of Sasha than they were excited.
"They're happy for us, Sasha," Payson whispered admonishingly.
"I'll apologize later. Listen, would it be so bad to have Lauren make your dress? You've said before some of her formal stuff is very good and you could have some measure of control. Besides, it would take her mind off the leos," Sasha suggested. Payson bristled.
"But, I don't like her," she whined. She knew she sounded childish, but having to spend that kind of time with Lauren was likely to drive her insane.
"Come on, Payson," Sasha said. Her shoulders slumped.
"Fine. Lauren," she called into the office. "how about we meet later this week to discuss details?"
Lauren shrieked again and came barreling out of the office to hug her. Halfhearted , Payson returned the embrace.
"We'll have to get your measurements too. Oh! And I'll bring by some fabric samples." Payson reached out and touched Lauren's arm.
"Lauren." Lauren continued to babble. "Lauren! Look, how about first things first we just talk about the type of dress I want. Then you can take measurements and we can look at fabric, okay?"
"Oh sure, sure. Okay, I'll see you later." Lauren bounced happily down the stairs, humming all the way out the door. As soon as the doors swung shut behind her, Payson breathed a sigh of relief.
"She's going to be the death of me," Payson muttered. Sasha laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her head.
"Annabelle's parents are here with Samantha," he whispered into her hair. Payson pulled out of his embrace to look over her shoulder. Samantha was standing at the foot of the stairs, flanked by her parents.
"Samantha, how are you?" Payson asked, moving away from Sasha and gesturing the family into the office.
"Good, thanks," Samantha said softly, slipping past Payson. Once everyone was comfortably seated, Sasha took over.
"What can we do you for you?" Sasha asked. Samantha shifted in her chair and then reached up to rub her head, the same spot where she'd hit it when she fell. Payson winced as the accident flashed through her mind's eye.
"I…I'd like to come back," Samantha stammered. Payson's heart stalled, but Samantha kept talking. "My doctor said that I'm fully healed and I'm feeling really strong. I'd really like to come back."
"Samantha," Sasha started. Payson reached over and laid a hand on his arm, giving it a tiny squeeze. He fell silent.
"What do you think about this?" Payson asked, directing her question at the girl's parents. They shared a look, hesitating and Payson immediately understood what they thought; they were torn between wanting their daughter to be happy and do what she loved, and wanting to keep her locked up and safe for the rest of her days. It was a common reaction in gymnastics parents whose children had suffered a severe injury like Samantha had. Like she had.
"We've talked with Samantha about this at length," her mother said. "And if she wants to come back we will support her."
Payson looked to Sasha. His shoulders were tense, his mouth set in a thing line, and she knew that he was struggling with what he was about to say. It was always difficult to tell an athlete their Olympic dream was dead.
"Samantha, gymnastics is not a sport without risk. Every time an athlete gets up on the beam, or runs for the vault, there's a serious chance that they will fall. Not every fall is devastating, not every fall ends in injury, but falling is part of the sport. I have no doubt that your doctor has said that you're medically healed, but if you take a fall and hit your head, even a fall that would be nothing to someone else, could be catastrophic for you. It's a risk we can't take."
His tone was as gentle as Payson had ever heard from him, but the words still sounded cold and harsh. There was just no way to soften a blow like that. Samantha sat for a moment, silent and staring blankly at the floor.
"I'm sorry, Samantha," Sasha added after a long minute.
"Mhmm," Samantha said quickly, still not looking at either of them. She jumped to her feet and made a beeline for the door. "I understand Sasha, thank you."
Payson moved to follow her but Sasha reached for her hand and she stopped short.
"She needs time," he whispered.
"I know," Payson sighed.
"Come on, let's get back on the floor."
#
"For serious, Lauren Tanner is designing your wedding dress?" Kelly asked. Payson cradled the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she reached up to put clean dishes back in the cupboard. It was late, almost eleven, but she hadn't been able to sleep and Kelly had chronic insomnia so she knew her friend would be awake.
"Yes, Lo is designing my dress. It was either that or let our gymnasts go to the Olympics looking like Wonder Woman," Payson said, laughing a little. Kelly snorted.
"Is she designing our bridesmaid's gowns too? Cause I would rather choke on broken glass than wear anything made by Lauren Tanner," Kelly spat.
"Stop being so damn dramatic, you'll be fine. I will be exercising maximum control," Payson promised.
"Yeah right. Lauren is a runaway freight train, you will not have any control."
"Kelly," Payson sighed.
"Fine, fine. So, why are you calling me so late?" Kelly asked.
"Couldn't sleep," Payson said simply, closing the empty dishwasher and hoping up to sit on the counter.
"Yeah, right. The only time you can't sleep is when there's something on your mind. So, what's on your mind?" Kelly pressed. Payson sighed.
"Samantha came in to talk to Sasha and me today, she wanted to come back to the gym," Payson said quietly.
"And you had to tell her no?"
"Sasha told her no, but Kelly…she was devastated. She barely made it out of the office before she started crying," Payson said, her heart hurting just thinking about it.
"Weren't you? When they told you after your back that you couldn't do gymnastics? Weren't you devastated?" Kelly asked.
"I know, that's why I'm upset. I know exactly how she feels and it just…it kills me, KP. I wish there were something I could do for her, to help her through it," Payson said. She reached up to massage her forehead, feeling a headache starting to throb behind her eyes.
"She just needs a little time to get used to the idea. Samantha is a good, level-headed girl, she'll calm down," Kelly promised. Payson sighed.
"You think so?"
"I know so. Now let's talk about the bachelorette party," Kelly pressed.
"I don't want a bachelorette party," Payson laughed.
"Come on, Pay! Please? It'll be so much better than the last one!" Payson was about to respond when the line beeped, indicating there was a call waiting. She frowned. A call this late at night was never a good thing.
"Kelly I gotta call you back." She hung up and answered the other call without waiting for Kelly's response. "Hello?"
"Coach?" Payson's heart was in her throat. The music and yelling in the background was so loud, Payson could barely hear the girl on the other end. What she could hear was the panic in her voice, there was no mistaking that.
"Annabelle? What's wrong?"
"Um, Samantha…we…can you get Sasha and come pick us up?" Payson leapt of the counter before Annabelle even finished speaking.
"Where are you?" She asked as she ran up the stairs. Annabelle wasn't giving her specifics, but Payson knew she wouldn't sound so upset and scared if something weren't going terribly wrong.
"A house by the lake, on Oakwood Lane. Hurry Payson, please," Annabelle begged.
"We'll be there as soon as we can," Payson promised. Then she hung up the phone and dashed into the bedroom. "Sasha, get up."
She didn't bother trying to wake him gently like she usually did. She turned on the lights and threw his jeans on the bed. He grunted, not fully awake. "Get up! Get your keys, let's go!"
Payson walked out of the room, already dialing her mother's number. Her childhood home was halfway between Payson's house and the lake, and someone needed to watch Harper while Payson and Sasha took care of Annabelle.
"Payson, what the bloody hell is going on?" Sasha groaned, stumbling out of the bedroom, his jeans draped over his arm. Payson hurried off the phone with her mother, who promised it was fine to drop Harper off.
"Jeans on, we gotta go. Come on," Payson urged. She ducked into Harper's room, scooping up the sleeping girl, careful not to wake her. When she reappeared in the hallway, Sasha had pulled on his jeans and was following her to the car, still looking very confused.
"Where?" He asked as they got into the car.
"Mom's first, then Oakwood Lane, by the lake."
Sasha didn't ask any more questions.
#
It didn't matter that Annabelle hadn't given Payson a house number; it was obvious which house they were in. The large brick house was pulsing with music that Payson could practically feel in her feet as she and Sasha raced up the driveway. Teenagers were spilling out onto the lawn, drunk and stumbling as they tried to put even more alcohol into their bodies.
"Do we know where she is?" Sasha asked as he grabbed Payson's hand and pushed his way into the house, through throngs of people.
"No." Payson had to shout to be heard, even though she was practically pressed against his back. Sasha stopped and scanned the crowd, heads taller than the party-goers, trying to pinpoint where she might be. "We should check the bathrooms."
Sasha took a deep breath and Payson knew he was about to use everything he had to make himself heard over the crowd.
"Shut up!" he roared. The crowd fell silent except for the music pounding through the stereo. It wouldn't last long though, once everyone got over the shock. "Annabelle!"
"Here!" The cry came from the other side of the living room and Sasha immediately started pushing through the crowd towards her.
Annabelle was huddled in a corner, her arms around a passed out and very pale Samantha. Payson felt Sasha's back tense beneath her fingers, but he didn't say a word. He just scooped Samantha up and then turned back towards the door. Payson reached for Annabelle, pulling her to her feet.
"How much did she have to drink?" Payson asked, pushing Annabelle ahead of her and trying to keep up with Sasha.
"I don't know," Annabelle whined. Sasha wrenched open the car door and laid Samantha out across the back seat while Annabelle and Payson scrambled inside.
"Sasha, breathe," Payson muttered. She did not want to get into a car accident.
"I'm taking you both home," Sasha said, glaring at Annabelle through the rearview mirror.
"No! We told mom and dad we were staying the night at a friend's house," Annabelle said. Sasha growled and Payson reached over to lay her hand on his arm.
"Let's just take them back to our house, Sasha. Mom is keeping Harper all night anyway, and we can lecture them once we get there," she muttered. Sasha looked over at her, his jaw clenched and his knuckles white against the steering wheel.
"Fine."
#
By the time Sasha eased the car into the driveway, Samantha had started to stir. She groaned, pressing her hands to her face as Annabelle begged her not to throw up. Payson cringed at the thought and willed Samantha to hold on. As soon as the car was in park, Payson jumped out of the front seat and ran to unlock the door so that Sasha could help Samantha inside.
"Make it stop spinning," Samantha mumbled as Sasha deposited her on the couch. She leaned against the cushions, her head lolling over the back as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"No, no," Sasha said. "Sit up and open your eyes or you'll be sick."
As soon as Samantha started to sit up, Payson knew it was going to end badly. Only quick thinking and cat like reflexes saved her carpet as Samantha emptied her stomach into the wastebasket Payson handed her. Annabelle shuddered.
"Come on Sam, you'll be more comfortable in the bathroom," Payson said. She helped the girl stand and then took her down the hall to the closest bathroom.
After she made sure Samantha had water and a wet washcloth, Payson made her way back into the living room, where Sasha was pacing and Annabelle sat looking very much like a scared little girl. She leaned against the doorframe, waiting for Sasha to unleash his anger. It was only a matter of time.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Sasha asked, his voice quiet and calm. Payson could see the anger simmering beneath the surface though, and she knew Annabelle could too.
"I'm sorry, Coach," Annabelle whispered.
"Sorry?" Sasha asked, laughing harshly. "Sorry! How could you be so irresponsible? What were you thinking?" Payson winced at the volume of Sasha's voice.
"I was just trying to keep an eye on Samantha. She was so upset," Annabelle said as she started to cry.
"Oh, wonderful!" Sasha cheered. Payson couldn't help but be reminded of the day after she, Kaylie, Emily, and Lauren had gone to a party of their own. "So you haven't been drinking?"
"I…I have," Annabelle admitted, her shoulders sagging. Sasha snorted.
"You're suspended, Annabelle…"
"Sasha!" Payson cried with a gasp.
"What? No!" Annabelle shrieked, jumping to her feet. "Sasha, please! I only have ten weeks until the Trials!" Sasha just stared at her, unwavering.
"You should have thought about that before you decided to go to your little party. I don't want to see you in the gym until a week from Monday," Sasha said.
"A week and a half?" Annabelle sobbed, looking to Payson for help. Payson just shook her head.
"Go to bed, Annabelle," Payson said softly. The girl ran up the stairs, her sobs echoing off the walls. For a few moments, silence reigned, broken only by the sounds of Samantha retching down the hall.
"I wish you had discussed that with me," Payson said, moving into the kitchen to boil water for tea. Sasha followed.
"Would you have agreed?" Sasha asked, his voice ragged.
"Of course…"
"Well then, what's the problem?"
"I'd like to be included in deciding the fate of our gymnast, Sasha!" Payson shouted. "Especially this close to the Games!"
Sasha opened his mouth, ready to yell back, to start a fight, but before he said a word he deflated. His shoulders hunched and he sank down onto a stool at the counter.
"I let my anger get the better of me, love. I'm sorry." Payson went to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his temple.
"Tomorrow is going to be a bad day," she sighed. He reached up, covering her hands with one of his.
"I know."
A/N: Thanks a million, as always, to SunStar123, JTellersOldLady, Kiwiflea, XNatalieX, HarryPotterFan2010, Egyptian Kiss, goalie19, Gracie, and franxample for your wonderful reviews! And to XNatalieX, my new place in Denver is wonderful and all the people I love who were in the hurricane's path are safe and sound! Thanks so much for asking
Now, about the chapter; most of this was written at 4 am while battling the most ridiculous insomnia ever. I think it makes sense, but if it doesn't, just keep that in mind. And what will happen with Annabelle? I don't know! Well, actually yes I do, but I'm not going to tell you. You'll just have to keep reading and see! You know originally I hadn't planned for this fic to go any longer than 15 chapters? Yeah right. Now it's looking like 25-30. But as long as you all love it, I'm okay with that!
Wow, done rambling. Let me know what you think!