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Took a while. Sorry.

Disclaimer: same as before.

--

Chapter Twenty-One

The Joker stared at the electronics store. There was a large line of TVs in the shop's window and for some weirdo reason they were on now.

He was only part of a small crowd who were apparently had nothing better to do on Christmas except for stand about watching the news, saying things like, 'The prices are going up? They can't do that!' at random.

Oh, yeah, Christmas was sooo much fun.

Of course, no one really knew it was him because he'd just taken off his make-up. He wished he could've seen their reactions if he had. He licked his lips.

Then something on the screen made him stare.

A reporter was talking but the crowd was also talking quite loudly. He caught the words 'Maxine Ride' (They've already got it wrong, he thought, grinning) and struggled to listen to some more. The old woman next to him said, 'Shh! Listen!'

Amazingly, everyone obeyed and the Joker watched as the woman continued on with, '… sharing the spirit!'

He blinked when he saw Max sitting on a swing, smiling up at… him? The brunette chattered on and some more pictures came on the screen. Wow. Okay, so he was on the news for something else than destroying the city. Great, now he'd have to start over again. He thought of the new knife in his pocket and frowned.

He rolled his eyes and the old lady next to him said, 'How sweet! That girl is really quite nice, I saw her at that fundraiser… and then that awful Joker showed up!' She shook her head and patted his shoulder, not knowing he was staring at her with one eyebrow raised. 'But I'm glad she's in a relationship now.' She sighed and continued watching the TVs.

'Okaaay,' the Joker said, taking three big steps away from her. 'I'm gonna just leave now…'

'Oh, but where are you going, dear?' the woman asked, turning around. The Joker gritted his teeth. Why did people have to care?

'Uh, I have to find…' He smirked, '… my girlfriend.'

The woman smiled. 'Merry Christmas,' she said and turned back to the TVs.

The Joker waited three more seconds to see if she had anything weirder to add, but it appeared not. He turned and took off.

--

Iggy's amazingly good breakfast made me calm. The flock ate heaps, but yeah, don't we always? I mean, when we actually have food.

'So what are we doing today?' Angel asked me. I swallowed hard, remembering she had known about the thing on the news…

My stomach dropped even though I knew Angel wouldn't tell anyone. 'I dunno, sweetie,' I said, gulping down air.

'Max, you okay?' Gazzy asked, concerned. 'You look sick.'

'I'm fine, Gaz. Thanks.' I grinned at him. 'Like what Santa gave you?'

The Gasman grinned back and my heart squeezed. I totally felt mad whenever I thought of what the whitecoats did to any of us. But I also was sorta glad that they were my family. I wouldn't feel complete without my flock.

'Hmmm,' I said, rubbing my hands together. Fang rolled his eyes and I ignored him. 'Where do you guys wanna go?'

Please do not say the park, I begged. Please do not say the park because I KNOW the Joker will find me there.

Nudge shrugged. 'The park?' she suggested.

'Any other suggestions?' I asked desperately.

'How about the movies?' Gazzy asked excitedly.

'Yeah, I can listen to it!' Iggy said brightly.

Iggy, no matter what we do, you'll be listening.

'Movies sound good,' I said, nodding. Even though I would probably hate it. But hey, better two hours of hate then… I dunno, three minutes of embarrassment. Or a lot more minutes.

Hell, it could be two hours of embarrassment, knowing the Joker.

'Nah,' said Total. 'They won't allow me in there.'

'And that's a bad thing?' Fang muttered.

'Oh, screw it,' I said, frowning. 'Let's just go to the park.'

Mucho cheering filled the room.

--

Tony's pal Rhodey was coming over later, so it was just the flock that went to the park. I was dreading every second of it.

I went no where near the swings. I stayed away from every place I'd been last night and every place I'd met the Joker. So there was a bunch of equipment to play on (or sit on in my case).

'Sooo,' said Fang. I shrugged. 'Yeah?' I asked.

'Having a nice Christmas?'

I nodded.

'We need to talk,' he said.

I frowned. 'About what?'

'About the Joker.'

I sighed. 'Okay, throw it at me.' I nodded. 'What?'

'D'you really like him?'

'Uh. I dunno.'

'Which means you do,' Fang continued wisely. 'That means I don't have to kill him.'

'Fang,' I said. 'Seriously, you don't still… like me anymore, do you?'

I felt so freaking awkward it was not helping with anything.

'I've taken your word,' Fang said, showing no signs of awkwardness, 'and found… what d'you call her… oh yeah. Goth Girl.'

I nodded, feeling slightly better. 'D'you like her?'

'She's… she's nice.'

'Plus, she'll probably love the whole wings wrinkle.'

Fang stared hard at me. 'Why would I tell her that?'

I shrugged, a little too casually. 'Oh… I don't know…'

Fang rolled his eyes. 'Max, I'm like – your brother. If you think this guy is okay… then I have to let it slide. But if he does anything to you, I'm going to kill him.'

'That sounds fair,' I said, wishing the conversation would end. I hated it so much.

'Fang!' Iggy yelled and Fang was hit by a snowball.

'You're a dead man!' he yelled and sprang off to the Gasman and Iggy, who laughed long and hard.

'Max?' I turned around and saw Nudge, Total and Angel – Angel looking guilty.

'You didn't,' I said, looking down at Angel.

'I thought it was cute,' Nudge said helpfully. 'I mean, on the news and all.'

I stared at them. Could my life get any worse?!

Total chuckled and I glared down at him. 'What're you laughing at, dog breath?' I snapped. Total narrowed his eyes and trotted away.

'Sorry, Max,' Angel said. She sounded really sorry, too. 'I mean, I mentioned a little bit by accident because Nudge was making me laugh and then she begged and Total wanted to hear it and –'

Peer pressure. 'Its okay, Angel,' I sighed, patting her blond curls. 'Just don't tell the boys and I'll live til next Thursday.'

Angel and Nudge grinned and ran off to the swings.

So besides feeling awkward, embarrassed and annoyed, I was having a great day. Frowning, I walked to a tree, and stood next to it, keeping an eye on my flock. Okay, I told myself. That's my dose of horror for the day. It's over now.

That's when someone slung their arms over my shoulders and whispered, 'So, I hear we're the couple everyone's talking about.'

I suppressed a groan. 'What are you doing here?' I asked.

'I, uh, love you too,' the Joker said and I rolled my eyes.

'It was a stupid news report which meant nothing,' I said, unhooking his arms from me. 'Sorry if you thought otherwise.' I turned to him and saw he wasn't wearing any make-up. I blinked.

'Oh, so… we were kissing last night, why?' He licked his lips and smirked. I gritted my teeth.

'Well, if we were in such a relationship, which we're not, I would probably love every time you came round. Wanna know a secret?' I gave an audible whisper. 'I don't.'

The Joker grinned. 'Uh-huh… so why'd you give me a knife?'

'I give people presents,' I shrugged.

'People you hate? People you… really can't stand?'

I frowned at him. 'Can you just go?'

He shook his head. 'Y'know what I don't get? Whenever I show up, even when you do want me around, you're always telling me to piss off.'

'Last night I wasn't,' I argued.

'So you liked me being around?'

I blinked at him, opened my mouth and closed it again. 'Well, I'm gonna go,' I said lamely, turning back to the flock.

'Hey, no, wait – I have more stuff to tell you.' He stepped in-between me and the flock, grinning down at me.

'Move,' I told him.

'That's not the drill – I'm the one who leaves.'

'Well, why not spawn a new tradition?' I asked drily.

'Because that wouldn't be fun,' the Joker said, pushing me back against the tree.

'Get off,' I told him savagely. 'I'd like to try and enjoy the rest of my day.'

'I can help with that, y'know,' he told me, grinning. My cheeks felt hot again and I looked over at Angel and Nudge, still on the swings.

'Let go,' I said, sounding scarily firm.

The Joker blinked at me and let go. 'Whatever you say, uh… Maxine Ride.'

'It's Max,' I snapped at him and walked over to the flock.

--

The Joker raised his eyebrows. The reason he hated Christmas, he thought, rolling his eyes.

He watched Max for a while, as she walked to the swings and started talking to the little blond kid. Angel. She started smiling at the little girl while Nudge seemed to be blabbing on about something. Without really knowing it, he frowned.

This was just idiotic.

Chewing his scars, he turned around and walked towards the end of the park. So Max was mad. It was like that all the time. He said one thing, Max went against it. But that was the kind of person Max was.

The real question was why he wouldn't leave her alone. He stopped. Why she wouldn't leave him alone. He continued walking up the path, ignoring the little kids who looked up at him and gasped to their mothers.

After twenty minutes of walking, a black van pulled up next to him. He didn't really know why and he didn't really care.

'Hey, need a ride buddy?' someone asked. He turned around and saw a young man that looked sort of like a model, smiling angelically at him. He felt highly disgusted and wished the guy would give some horrible reaction to his scars.

'Yeah, sorry, uh… "buddy", but I'm fine.'

The guy's smile grew wider. The Joker arched an eyebrow. 'Yeah, we thought you'd say that,' the model said and the back doors of the van opened.

--

'Max, why'd you do that?' Angel whispered as Nudge ran over to Gazzy.

I glanced over at her. 'What, sweetie?' I asked, cautiously. This better not be about my really way-too-personal list.

But of course it would be.

'Why'd you get mad at the Joker?' she repeated anxiously.

'He was being mean,' I shrugged. Only it came out like a question. Like I needed someone to say that was a good reason.

Oh, yeah, I'm asking a seven-year-old if I can get mad. Woo, Max.

'Look, I can get mad at him,' I said with all the dignity I could muster (or all the dignity I could pretend to muster). 'I mean, Angel, he's a serious –'

'Creepy guy?' Angel tossed in, as she began to swing higher.

'Uh, okay. Yes. Creepy guy.'

'But it's Christmas. You don't get mad at people on Christmas.'

I blinked. This was useless.

Crap.

--

The Joker studied the position he was in. Could he get out of it? Uh, not easily.

There were more model-men in the back of the van, all of them with some type of animal glint in their eyes. One of them gave him the thumbs up sign as the van continued driving.

Oh, wait, he didn't get to the best part: he was pressed up against the back of one of the seats, the person on the seat keeping a gun to his head.

Oh, no, wait, the best part was that he there were two normal-looking men in white-coats in the van he didn't know.

Wait, hold on: this was the best part. His father was in the van. And his mother.

Could Christmas get any worse?

'So,' said the man-holding-the-gun-against-his-head in a German accent, 'your father has told us quite a bit about you.'

'Like what?' the Joker asked. 'Did he tell you about the fact that I'm in about ninety-five percent of Gotham's nightmares? Or did he tell you about my, uh, personal life? If so, I'm sure he mentioned I'm addicted to those, uh, wheelie-chair thingos.'

The German sneered. 'It had appeared not,' he snarled and the Joker raised his eyebrows.

'Be nice to him, kiddo,' Jack said from the passenger seat. So that meant, what, Harley was driving. Crash the car, he sent her. She didn't seem to receive it.

'You know about Max,' the other man said. He was wearing glasses and he had a thin scar on his face.

'Do you?' the Joker replied.

The man frowned. 'My name is Jeb Batchelder,' he said coldly.

Oh, I know you, the Joker thought. This must've been the guy Max was talking about.

'When Jeb got us out –'

'Jeb?'

'He was a whitecoat. He felt sorry for us, kidnapped us away from the School, to a place in the mountains. We thought he died two years later, but in fact, he joined up with the School again.'

'Ouch.'

'I looked after Maximum and the flock for years,' continued Jeb.

'Yeah, she mentioned you,' the Joker said. 'Something to do with the spawn of Satan or some demon from the depths of hell.'

The German sneered again. 'Can we just shoot him?' he snarled. Harley squealed from the driver's seat.

'Shut up, Harley,' Jack ordered.

'So, who are you?' the Joker asked.

'Roland terBortch,' drawled the German.

'Uh-huh. Cool. Well, it'd be great if I could just go –'

'You're not going anywhere,' Jeb snapped. 'And even if you were, it would be no where near Max. Understand?'

The Joker frowned. 'Uh… no.'

'Maximum is an amazing specimen,' Jeb said. 'Such an incredible life form – and for some odd reason she enjoys your company.'

'Aw, gee, that hurt my feewings,' the Joker said.

'You're destroying her,' Jeb continued. 'You're making her lose her mission.'

'Her… mission.'

'She's told you too much. She's not like other people.'

'Oh, good. I mean, when I figured out she had wings, I really thought, "Hey, where're mine?"'

The German pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.

'Why is it not loaded?!' roared the German. He turned to look at the driver's seat. 'You!'

Harley gave another squeal and the Joker said, 'I'm just gonna… go. Toodles!'

He jumped up and opened the back of the van door before the models, which were rapidly changing into wolf/human hybrids, could blink. Jumping out, he landed pretty badly on the tar. He laughed and spat out some blood.

There was another gunshot and he blinked: it hit him. That German must've found a gun that worked.

Blood gushed out onto his shirt and he managed to stand up. Woozily, he ran to the first place he could think of.

--

Christmas did turn out to be a better day.

I mean, afterwards, we went to a fast food restaurant and bought many a different meals. Like, really good-smelling, mouth-watering meals (drooling).

Heaven. (Angel music in background).

And then we just went back to Tony's place, to find out that him and Rhodey had left. Probably to get a beer or something, I don't know what non-mutant guys really do.

The younger kids and Total were all sitting on the couch or the floor, watching 10 Things I Hate About You intently. Every few minutes, Nudge would squeal something like, 'Oh, my God, there he is!' or 'Ew, that dude is so not hot. Why do all those girls like him?!'

I heard Iggy say something like, 'Who cares, now shhh. What does Kat look like?'

'Oooh, Iggy has a crush,' Fang told me, not looking up from his laptop. Writing on the ol' blog, I understand.

I nodded from across the kitchen. 'That does appear to be the case.'

Angel, Gazzy and Total laughed in the next room. Obviously, an actor had delivered a punch line.

'And posted,' Fang said, typing one more key.

'So, can I check your blog?' I asked, drinking some orange juice.

'Probably not a good idea.'

My eyes narrowed. 'Why not?' I said slowly.

Fang shrugged, a little too casually.

'What did you write on your blog?' I asked through gritted teeth.

'Just stuff that's been going on,' Fang tried but I snatched his laptop. My jaw dropped. 'Fang!' I hissed quietly, so the kids in the other room would hear. 'Why the hell did you tell people that I'm "dating" Gotham's most wanted!'

'Well, it is the truth,' Fang said heavily, but you could see he was enjoying this. 'I mean, I must let my fans know. Plus, now I have about fifty more people.'

'You had, like, over a thousand!'

'I know. But listen to this.' He pulled the laptop away, clicked something and cleared his throat. '"To Fang –"'

'Give – me – that,' I snarled, tugging it back. It was the comments page.

H20saysgogoGO from Seattle writes:

Max! U and da Joker? Wat about Fang?

Tenmonthband from Omaha writes:

Biggest LOL ever! But seriously, no way!

Elva Girl from Sydney writes:

Hi!

Max, I reckon that is sooo cute! I mean, I haven't really heard that much about the Joker, except that he's got these weirdo scars (?) I think but now I'm so gonna find out more.

Alana from Gotham writes:

Max, I'm right here! I see you on the news sometimes and I saw you once at Gotham mall. But didn't the Joker throw you out a window? O_o

'Fang,' I said, slowly, trying to sound calm. 'I now have fifty people telling me about my life.'

'Yeah, well, look, I'm sorry, but –'

'Shut up,' I said, blankly. 'Just shut up. What the hell did you think you come out of this? Did you think you could just announce this on the Internet and I wouldn't care? I don't need people's opinions, Fang, especially people I don't even know!'

My voice had been rising higher and higher. Five stunned heads from the living room poked themselves into the kitchen.

'Max?' asked Gazzy.

I stood up and wordlessly walked to the door. 'I'm going out,' I said loudly, feeling a wave of anger and depression wash over me. Max, said the Voice and I froze, don't leave them.

Go to hell, I told it and wrenched open the door.

And my jaw dropped for the second time.

The Joker was slouching against the wall, with no make-up. A dark crimson substance had spread itself through his shirt and his waistcoat.

'Perfect timing,' he said through gritted teeth.

'Oh, my God,' I said, staring at his shirt. 'Is that… blood?'

The Joker rolled his eyes and nearly fell over. 'Could be,' he managed and lost consciousness, falling against the wall, in front of the entire flock.

--

Sorry for taking so long. Please review and thank you!

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