Disclaimers, acknowledgements, notes, warnings, etc: Please see Chapter 01.
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The Sound of Music Chronicles
Part I
The Twelfth Governess
Chapter 21
Only during thunderstorms
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"Since I was man,
Such sheets of fire, such bursts of torrid thunder
Such groans of roaring wind and rain, I never
Remember to have heard."
William Shakespeare
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"Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work."
Mark Twain
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It as a thunderstorm as all thunderstorms should be. Roaring thunder, furious bolts of lightning – the kind that most people feared, young or old.
Except for Maria, of course.
She never understood why, at the convent, most of the nuns were so frightened of them and at the first sight of a black cloud in the horizon and rushed to light a candle to Saint Barbara, the patron of fires, thunderstorms, sudden death and – the irony of all ironies – the Navy. Maria, on the other hand, always thought they were beautiful, almost poetic.
"the entire world looks the same under the rain," she used to say. Although she loved the outdoors, to spend her time running in flowered meadows and climbing mountains, she was just as mystified by a rainy day. She loved the feeling of being cozy and protected indoors while the storm raged outside. And whenever she had the rare chance of being outside, she loved the sense of freedom when she felt the rain falling down her body.
"Dear Lord, Maria, that sounds so… pagan of you," her friend Christina censored her, making a sign of the cross, when Maria told her about this. It was useless to say later that she hadn´t done such a thing as walking and playing in the rain since she was hardly more than a child – Christina was still scandalized.
Maria smiled at such memories.
She had said goodbye to her friends only that same morning, but now it seemed that they belong to a distant past. Certainly it was a world that had nothing in common with the world she was living in now. Naval officer or not, even if she tried, she could not imagine Captain von Trapp running around the house looking for a candle to light for Saint Barbara. Nor going to the other extreme of taking a walk just to feel the rain on his face.
"Well, that might be the only thing I have in common with him – we are not afraid of thunderstorms," she muttered – not that she would expect to have anything in common with the aristocracy at all. Yet, she imagined that as a seafaring man, he had learned to face any kind of bad weather standing on his way.
Maria frowned – well, only literally, of course. Because if one considered the veritable storm caused by the loss of his beloved wife, he was doing a dismal job trying to get out of it!
"Maria, you must be more sympathetic towards the poor man," she censored herself. "That is just what the Reverend Mother would advise you to do. Put yourself in his place. For instance, imagine what it is like for him to be around others who knew her closely or even people like you, who just heard about her, wondering if they would mention her name and what that would do to him. The Reverend Mother described him as a fine and a brave man, and there is no reason to doubt her words, no matter how mean he was to you before. He might be simply a naval hero who had no clue about how to navigate the waters of his own grief, at least not without hurting others in the process. It must be a terrifying feeling to a man known for his intelligence and for his bravery to feel so helpless. Yes, undoubtedly a wife, a new woman to love, would help him cope with the awful pain and bring him closer to his children again…"
Shaking her head, she knelt at the bed. She had brooded enough about Captain von Trapp and his children already. Her body was tired, her mind was tired of so much thinking, so much planning and reasoning. The next day she would have to wake up very early, before the sun rose, in order to accomplish something she had in mind. It would be wise if she simply rested now.
Joining her hands together and looking heavenward, Maria thought for a moment about what she would say in her prayers.
"Dear Father, now I know why You've sent me here. To help these children prepare themselves for a new mother and to help them to have the love of their father again… And I pray that this will become a happy family in Thy sight. God bless the Captain, God bless Liesl and Friedrich, God bless Louisa, Brigitta, Marta and little Gretl. And, oh, I forgot the other boy. What's his name? Well, God bless What's-his-name."
With the corner of her eyes, she saw the eldest girl, Liesl, entering the room though one of the windows. Maria pretended she had not seen her at first.
"If this is another trick, I won´t be taken by surprise," she thought and continued her prayer.
"God bless the Reverend Mother, Sister Margaretta..."
No, it was not another prank, because the sneaky girl was trying to exit the room without being seen, even if she was soaked to the skin and leaving a trail of water behind her. Maria smiled secretively, knowing just what to do.
"...and everybody at Nonnberg Abbey. And now, dear God, about Liesl."
It worked. Liesl stopped cold at the door and turned to face her, her blue eyes wide, droplets of rain still running down her face.
"Help her to know that I'm her friend, and help her to tell me what she's been up to."
"Are you going to tell on me?" the girl asked, clearly frightened. There was nothing in her now that reminded Maria of the confident young woman who claimed that she did not need a governess.
"Sshhh, please, I am not done yet." Liesl just stood there, obediently, waiting to know her fate. Maria almost felt sorry for her. "Help me to be understanding so that I may guide her footsteps. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
The girl began talking incessantly, trying to explain herself, as soon as Maria finished.
"I was out taking a walk and somebody locked the doors earlier than usual and I didn't want to wake everybody up. So, when I saw your window
open… You're not going to tell Father, are you?"
"Mmm."
Actually, that was a very good question. That is what Maria pondered, as she rose and walked to the window through which Liesl had entered. She did that not merely to close the window, but to give herself a little time to think about what she would say to the girl. But when she saw how high the window was, Maria gasped.
"How in the world did you climb up here?"
"That's how we always got into this room to play tricks on the governesses. Louisa can make it with a whole jar of spiders in her hand," she said gleefully.
Maria slammed the window shut.
"Spiders!"
She put a hand to her chest in disgust. Frogs, snakes, an occasional lizard she could handle just fine, but for some reason she was not very fond of those eight legged creatures called spiders.
It was then that she realized that she made two small mistakes. Her comment not only had changed the main topic of their conversation, it gave Liesl precious information about what kind of little critters she feared the most. Maria had little doubt that the children would put that valuable piece of news about their new governess´s worst fears to good use in a near future. Liesl could not disguise her relief about the change of topic, and had a curious little smile in her face – almost a perfect copy of her father´s smirk.
It was the sight of that knowing grin that did it. Maria responded to it with a frown, just as she was now used to do with the Captain. It was time for her to take control again.
"Liesl, were you out walking all by yourself?" she asked severely, hating that she sounded like a preaching old nun.
At first, the girl only nodded, but when Maria looked at her sternly, she began shaking her head from side to side.
"That is what I thought."
"Fräulein, please!"
Maria thought for a moment. Undeniably, telling the Captain was the most responsible thing to do under normal circumstances. Yes, under normal circumstances perhaps. What would her father do in his current disturbed mood? Send poor Liesl to a convent like Theresa´s father had done when she was her age? No, there simply had to be a better way to deal with the problem, even if it meant postponing it for a little while.
"You know, if we wash that dress out tonight, nobody would notice it tomorrow," she said. Liesl was rendered absolutely speechless – that was probably the last thing she would have expected from any of the governesses that his father had ever hired.
Walking past the puzzled sixteen year old, Maria reached for her only other nightgown hanging in the closet.
"Here. You could put this on." Still bewildered, Liesl took the nightgown from Maria´s hands and looked at it, as if paralyzed. "Yes, I know it is not pretty, but it will keep you warm. You can´t stay in those wet clothes, I am sure your father would not wish you to be sick, no matter what you were doing outside."
"I was not doing anything wrong."
"I know," Maria said. She had no wish to force Liesl to reveal anything she was not ready to tell her. She need to build the girl´s confidence in her first.
"I think it is ruined," Liesl said sorrowfully, looking down at her soiled clothes.
"No, it is not! Take your dress in there, put it to soak in the bathtub, then come back here and sit on the bed. We'll have a talk."
"All right." Liesl paused in the bathroom doorway. "Fräulein?"
"Yes?"
"I told you today I didn't need a governess. Well, maybe I do," she smiled gratefully.
Maria closed the bathroom door and walked over to
shut the door of her armoire. Yes, Liesl might be grateful to her now, for saving her from her father´s wrath, but what about tomorrow? Will she still trust her? Trust was such a fragile thing – it was something that she knew, even in her scant experience.
But that will be a problem for tomorrow. Not tonight.
First things first…
Hands on her hips, Maria looked at the bed, then at the bathroom door.
"Jars of spiders indeed," she grumbled.
Frowning suspiciously, she reached for the comforter and flung it back, only to reveal clean, snake-less, spider-less white sheets.
"Mmmm."
Not quite satisfied yet, Maria checked the
rest of the bed. Nothing. Smiling in relief, she puts the comforter back in its place.
"Well, at least I am safe for tonight," she said.
There was a loud thunder clap and a split second later, the door suddenly opened. The smallest von Trapp child, in a nightgown, run in and stood stiffly against the wall, her eyed wide and very frightened.
"Gretl? Are you scared?"
Gretl shook her head in vehement denial. There was another clap of thunder, this one louder and more spectacular. The five year old run into Maria's arms, burying her head into the fold of the governess´s nightgown.
"You're not frightened of a thunderstorm, are you? There is nothing wrong with that. You just stay right here with me." Maria tried to lift the girl, groaning as she realized that she was heavier than she expected.
"May I, really? I went to Liesl´s room, but she was not there and I was so afraid."
"Yes, of course, it´s quite all right. That is what I am here for. Where are the others?"
"They're asleep. They're not scared."
More thunder roared, and Gretl hugged Maria tightly. Maria´s motherly instincts awakened with unexpected force, and she cuddled the trembling little girl, protectively. There was a sound coming from the door. Gretl. Louisa, Brigitta and Marta run into the room.
"Oh, no? Look."
Gretl turned her face towards the door and her face instantly lit up when she saw the other girls standing there, wide eyed.
"You can´t find Liesl too!" the little one exclaimed. The three girls nodded.
"All right, everybody. Up here on the bed."
They hesitated, only briefly.
"Really? Can we?" asked Brigitta, uncertainly. "Liesl never let us do that!"
"What does she do?"
"She just sends us back to our rooms, but sometimes she stays with us until the storm is over."
"Well, just this once. Come on," she said, nodding towards her bed. The girls crowd onto the bed without waiting for a second invitation.
Actually, she was almost as uncertain as they were. The Captain certainly would not appreciate it if his daughters played in the governess room after hours. There was, however, a meaningful attenuating circumstance – the thunderstorm. Who else would the children run to in fear? Certainly not to the privacy of his bedroom. Poor little dears – she could not help but wonder what they did under such circumstances without a mother, or without as much as a friendly governess to rely on. Yes, they had Liesl, but it was also such a heavy burden for a sixteen year old to carry. She was a little more than a child herself and already had to act like a mother when her younger siblings needed her.
It was not fair.
It did not matter if they wake up the following morning already planning new pranks – they trusted her now, and it was a precious gift. Maria could not have hoped for anything better, after such a terrible beginning.
"Now, all we have to do is wait for the boys," she said.
"You won't see them. Boys are brave." It was an unexpected statement, coming from Louisa, probably the bravest of them all.
Maria looked at her, skeptically.
"Oh, are they? I gather that they never went to Liesl´s room during a thunderstorm."
"They did, but only to see if we were all right."
"Oh, I see…" Maria rolled her eyes.
The thunder continued, the girls buried their heads in the bed as each loud roar sounded. She knew it was only a matter of time until the boys joined them, so she kept staring at the door while the frightening girls seemed to bury themselves deeper in her comforter. She did not have to wait long. The two boys barged into the room, their white faces a clear indication that they were just as frightened as the girls. When they saw their grinning governess watching them from the bed, surrounded by four of their sisters, they immediately tried to change their demeanor, forcing themselves to walk calmly. Maria´s smile broadened.
"Ehrm - you boys weren't scared, too, were you?" she asked, with just a dash of irony.
"Oh, no. We just wanted to be sure that you weren't."
"Oh yes," she giggled. "In this case I assume that you must be looking for Liesl too."
"Where is she?"
Maria ignored the question.
"You were making sure your little sisters were all right. That's very thoughtful of you, Friedrich."
"It wasn't my idea. It was Kurt's."
"Kurt! That's the one I left out." She then raised her eyes heavenward. "God bless Kurt."
Another huge thunder clap - everyone ducks, including the boys. Maria looks at them all with amusement.
"Oh dear, what am I going to do with you!"
"I wonder where Liesl is and what she is up to at this hour," said Friedrich, sounding concerned. "If father knows she is not in the house…"
"Oh, but she is in the house!" Maria reassured them quickly. "In fact, she will join us very shortly." Friedrich crossed his arms and eyed her challengingly. "I just spoke to her. You don´t believe me, do you?"
"No," he said simply.
"Friedrich, Friedrich, sometimes you are too much like your father for your own good," she thought.
"Where is she anyway?" asked Louisa.
"Oh dear," Maria muttered, biting a nail. "Well…"
A faint noise came from the bathroom, but the children were so distressed that she doubted that they even noticed it. It was when she knew what to say.
"Isn´t it just perfect when the best and the right thing to say is simply… the truth!" she mused.
She cleared her throat.
"You see, Friedrich, this is a delicate issue. You are a young man yourself, you should understand that there are certain things a lady doesn´t like to… to speak about."
"She was out there with the telegram deliverer, wasn´t she? She…"
"Liesl is in the bathroom," Maria interrupted him, in a hissed, but very dramatic voice. "Now I do hope you are not going to make me say exactly what she is doing in there, are you? It would not be very gentlemanly of you at all."
Friedrich blushed, while all other children giggled. Their mirth lasted until the next bolt of thunder and lightning.
"Why does it do that?" Marta asked, nearly weeping.
"Well, the lightning says something to the thunder, and the thunder answers back," she replied, thinking it would be a suitable answer to give a seven year old. Maria was sure that the girl would not be looking for a scientific explanation!
"The lightning must be nasty," Marta moaned.
"Not really."
"Then why does the thunder get so angry? It makes me want to cry."
"They are not nasty or angry, Marta, they are merely very loud, their bark is much worse than their bite. You are all quite safe here, you have nothing to worry about."
"Mother used to say that all the noise was because of Saint Peter moving furniture around in heaven," remembered Brigitta with a sad smile.
There was more thunder, and the children cowered again.
"Well, now, whatever it is, when anything bothers me and I'm feeling unhappy, I just try and think of nice things."
"What kind of things?"
"Uh... well, let me see… Nice things. Daffodils. Green meadows. Skies full of stars. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."
"Does it really work?" Marta asked, hopefully.
"Of course it does. You try it. What things do you like?"
They hardly noticed when Liesl emerged from the bathroom. She immediately joined their game. The naming of the von Trapp children´s favorite things soon became a lively pillow fight, with several of them jumping up and down the bed.
"See what fun it is?" Maria exclaimed.
And then, she remembered the song…