Hello my lovelies. I would like to thank Cholo Palai, Guest, ninagayler, lkdaswani, Gingeraffealene, Meri Ley (Guest), mersan123, lauparrillaxrobbie, SherlockHolmes4884, Elle Light, AndreKl, Howarand (Guest) and OechsnerC for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.
So sorry for the long wait, I had a major case of writers block, but I think I have it resolved now, some of it anyway.
To answer a question I was asked, yes Gwen knows of Merlin's magic, and she has suspicions of Morgana's. So none of that is a surprise to her.
So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it. I would recommend rereading the last one so you can follow this one as its Arthurs (and a bit of Gwen's) POV while listening to Merlin and Morgana.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Arthur stumbled after Gwen, only to be suddenly pulled to a stop and grabbed so they were hiding behind a tree. Looking round it he could see Merlin and Morgana in the clearing in front of them. Morgana was on the ground, as if she had fallen down, and yet she still had a regal look upon her face as she stared his servant down.
As he had chased after the two of them with Gwen at his side he tried to think about why Morgana had reacted the way she had. And the only conclusion he had come up with was that after her imprisonment with Morgause, anything relating to magic scared her. It made sense to him. No doubt being surrounded by the evil magic of that witch would turn anyone away from the idea that it could be used for good. He hoped she would see that Merlin was, well, Merlin. That he didn't have a harmful bone in his body. That he didn't have the ability to ever cause the pain that Morgause could do. He hoped she would see that, I mean he hadn't killed one of the bandits that had just attacked them, surely that showed his difference to Morgause?
But now he was standing hiding behind a tree, trying really hard not to listen to the private conversation between two of the most important people in his world. He really didn't think they should be doing this.
"Gwen-" He hissed, aiming to tell her they needed to leave the other couple to it. But before he could say anything more she shh'ed him, and by the tilt of her head he knew she was listening. And despite himself, he found he too tuning into the conversation that was happening in the clearing only a stone's throw from them.
"Is that so?" he heard Morgana say, and then something he never expected came out of her mouth. They were words he didn't understand and as such he looked round the tree in time to see her eyes glow gold. He couldn't believe it. Morgana had magic? How? What was going on? How was it all the people he cared about seemed to have this secret he didn't know about? When had Morgana learnt? Had Morgause taught her? Oh god. He hoped not. He hoped she hadn't spent the last year learning from that enemy of Camelot, couldn't imagine her spending the last year being corrupted by the evils of magic… because if she had that would make her an enemy as well. And he couldn't even contemplate that idea. There was no way Morgana was working against the kingdom. It wasn't possible. She was his sister in everything but blood. She loved the people as much as he did. There was no way she would side with one who wanted nothing but the kingdoms destruction. No way at all.
Turning from his mind and back to the conversation between the two apparent, maybe, most probably, magic users he heard Morgana speak once more, though her words made no sense. How could Merlin have helped her when she was scared and alone? What did she mean that he turned her away? Then he heard Merlin say the words he himself had not been prepared to hear him speak. Words which Arthur knew changed everything, even if he had had his suspicions. Had been sure he knew the truth.
"I was scared to. You were the king's ward. How could I tell you of my magic?"
Arthur hadn't expected the response he found himself having at those words. I mean he had suspected, known, even to the point where he had thanked Merlin for him help in the battle not long before, but hearing him say the words out loud... To hear him say he had magic… it caused Arthurs throat to tighten and his hand to clench the sword at his side as the two sides of him waged a war in his mind. The side which had the voice of his father calling for him to enter the clearing and kill the sorcerer, while the other, the one that seemed to have Gwen's voice telling him that it was still his friend. That nothing had changed from the conversation they had where he and Merlin had come to an unspoken understanding. The difference now was that there was no shades of grey in his knowledge. Now he knew Merlin had magic. But did that really change anything? He knew academically the answer to that was no. Of course it didn't, but still the other side, the side raised by his father to be king of Camelot raged at hearing the words spoken out loud. Raged at the idea that he now knew he had a magic user at his side.
His emotions raged and the sides fought within him as he leaned forwards and rested his hand on the tree, breathing heavily as if he had just fought the fiercest of battles. It wasn't until he felt a gentle caress on his cheek that he realised his eyes were closed. Opening them he found himself staring into the understanding eyes of Gwen. And with that one look she sent all the turmoil away. Because with that one look he knew he wasn't alone. She was there at his side, and her calm smile gave him the strength to push past the Uther in his mind. Gave him the strength to remember that Merlin was his friend. Remember Merlin. Because no matter if he know knew without a doubt he had magic, he was still Merlin. That was what he could read in her eyes, and that was the thought that settled in his mind as he looked into them. Smiling at her he nodded, before they both turned their attention back to the conversation happening in the glad behind them. Both turned back to see what other secrets their friends had been keeping from them all this time.
"I will never let him hurt you." was the first thing Arthur heard Merlin say, and he frowned at that. Who were they talking about? Did he mean his father? Because there was no way he would ever hurt Morgana. Uther loved her like a daughter, Arthur knew that, so why would Merlin say he would never let him hurt her? Of course Morgana's response to Merlin's words made Arthurs eyebrows disappear into his hair line. Because… what?
"No you would rather do it yourself." Why would Merlin ever hurt Morgana? It was clear to anyone they loved each other. What was going on?
"If I have to. If you force me to choose, I will do what I need to do to protect those under my care." Those words sent a chill racing through Arthur. The voice, the words, they were not those of his clumsy servant, and he couldn't help but wonder if he even knew Merlin at all. That he would admit that he would hurt Morgana to protect others? Arthur couldn't get his head around it. Turning to Gwen he saw tears in her eyes and he could only imagine how she was feeling. Hearing her friend would hurt her mistress if he had to. How had it come to this? What had happened? What was going on?
"And when was it exactly, I no longer was one under your care, Merlin?" That was a good question, Arthur thought. Though Merlin's answer left him winded as he catalogued all Morgana had done against Camelot.
"When you sided with Morgause to try and kill the king. When you stole that crystal from the vaults for Alvarr. When you plotted Uther's assination at the hands of Tauren. You want me to continue?" how could she have done those things? How could she had betrayed them in such a way? What had happened the girl he had grown up with? The annoying little sister he loved with all his heart? What had made her side with others against them? What had he done to turn her against him? Arthur was so wrapped up in his own anguish that he missed the next part of the conversation, but when he heard Gwen gasp and raise her hand to her mouth he turned back to listening. And what he heard he really wished he hadn't.
"I didn't, because she died at Arthur's hand. And I could never harm him. He is my reason for being, my purpose. My destiny. And no one will stand in the way of my protection of him. Of the world that we will create. You have to understand, he has the power to make everything right and he will, when he is king he will."
He had killed someone Merlin cared for. How? When? Who was she? Why did she die? Was she a magic user like him? And how, after that, how did he still have such faith in him? How could he be so sure he would be the king Merlin wanted him to be? How could he be so loyal, when he had it seemed, killed someone he cared for? He wanted to ask Gwen those questions, wanted her to tell him the answers he himself couldn't determine. But when he turned his eyes to her all he saw was her looking at him in horror. Looking at him as if he had broken something priceless.
"Gwen?" He whispered, reaching for her only to have her flinch at his touch as she stared into his eyes.
"You killed the woman he loved?" She asked in a voice which was barely above a breath, but Arthur heard and those five words sent him stumbling backwards. Away from the clearing, away from Morgana and Merlin's conversation. He didn't want to hear anymore. He hadn't just killed someone Merlin cared for, but the woman he loved. No. It couldn't be true. He couldn't have done that. And it was with those thoughts he stumbled through the forest, shaking his head in denial as he did so.
Gwen had listened, had found out more than she had bargained for, and was starting to think that following her two friends had not been the best idea. Especially not as she watched the emotions travel across Arthur's face at the words they spoke so carelessly. They should have stayed away. But now they were there she couldn't pull herself away. That was until he she heard Morgana speak of Merlin's love who was dead. She gasped at that. She had had no idea he had felt that way for anyone, and to find out they had died, it broke her heart. But not as much as his words in response did. The idea that the woman Merlin had loved had died at Arthur's hand, and that he had still suck by him. Stayed by his friend even while he mourned the woman he loved. The woman killed by the one he followed. She couldn't get her head around that. It was too much. When Arthur had said her name and tried to touch her she couldn't help but flinch at the contact. At the touch of the hand that had broken Merlin's heart. Nor could she stop the words coming out of her mouth. But as soon as she had spoken them and seen the look in Arthur's eyes, she realised he hadn't heard that part of the conversation. He hadn't known what he had done, but now he did. And the only thought in her mind was to comfort him in his time of realisation.
"Arthur." She called softly, following him as he fell backwards away from the others.
"Gwen I… how could he stand by me? … Why does he do it?" Arthur asked anguish clear in his eyes as he begged her for answers, but she had only one.
"Because he is your friend."
"I don't deserve his friendship." Arthur replied shaking his head, still trying to get his brain to process all he had heard. All he had not wanted to know but now did.
"Yes, Arthur. You do." Gwen responded with certainty. If there was one thing she knew, even before overhearing the conversation between Merlin and Morgana, that was that Arthur had Merlin's complete loyalty. That the man she loved was the one he lived and would die for without hesitation. The one it seemed he would give his own heart for. Arthur came first in Merlin's mind. The hows and whys she did not know, but she knew that truth.
"How can you be so sure?" Arthur asked looking at her in confusion. She had heard more of the conversation than him. He had been too busy worrying about the thoughts in his own head to think of his friend. Had been too busy forcing himself not to kill him like he had apparently done to the one he loved. How could Merlin be his friend after that?
"Because he gives it to you." Gwen answered simply. There was nothing else she could say. Only Merlin could decide if Arthur was worth his friendship, and he obviously thought he was. He was his friend, there was no question of that. So surely that was all Arthur needed. Merlin chose him, was there really anything else to say?
At that Arthur just looked at her. Suddenly he saw things from her perspective. Merlin gave him his friendship. Merlin had chosen him to befriend. Merlin had chosen him to serve. He didn't care about the fact his father had rewarded Merlin with his current place in the royal household, he knew Merlin. And he knew if he hadn't wanted to be doing the job, he would have walked away a long time ago. But he stayed. Throughout it all, Merlin stayed. Did Arthur really need to know anything other than that? One day he would get Merlin's secrets from him. One day when the pain was not so raw in his own heart at what he had done. One day he would know it all. But for now, for now he would be content to know Merlin had chosen to stay.
With that realisation in his mind he nodded to Gwen before standing straight, the prince once more. "We need to get back to the horses." He said, holding out his hand the woman he hoped that maybe one day in the distant future he could maybe make his wife. The woman who one day could maybe be his queen.
"We do." Gwen agreed taking his hand in her own before walking beside him making their way back to where they had been. It was time to return to Camelot, and see what the fall out of all that had happened that afternoon would be. Because neither of them thought for a minute that nothing would chance. No from what they had seen and heard they both knew, everything was going to change. What they didn't know was how, because that was not up to them, it was not in their hands. No that was in the hands of Merlin and Morgana. And while that thought should have made Arthur uncomfortable, he was the crown prince after all, he found himself reassured that his friend would be the one needed to resolve it, even if he never knew how he did it. After all he had realised that it wouldn't be the first time, nor likely to be the last. And he could live with that. For now.