Harry Potter and the Blazin Goblet
The Great Number 4
I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.
--
"Aaaahhhhh…" Harry sighed after tossing a bag of ice into a chair and sat down on it letting his head droop to the side. He looked about his trunk-enclosed bedroom. The room looked as though a bomb had gone off. The sheets were completely destroyed and strewn about, lamps and side tables lay on their sides. A pair of handcuffs still clung onto one of the bedrails.
"Awesome." Harry muttered to himself as he heard a noise outside. Picking up his bag of ice he slowly made his way to the door pausing at his now messy dyed blond hair. Apparently the sticking charm had worn off.
Harry creaked the door open and saw Ron looking about the room.
"Harry! There you are. No one knew where you were? We were beginning to worry."
"Why? What the hell time is it?"
"Like in the afternoon." Ron replied.
"Oh… that explains it." Harry muttered making his way out into the main room tossing his bag of ice on the couch before plopping down onto it with a long sigh again.
"What the hell happened mate?" Ron said as he rushed toward Harry.
"What are you talking Ron?" Harry muttered giving Ron a piercing look.
"Your back! All the red marks!"
Harry paused and craned his head attempting to look at his back. He cringed for a moment at all the long lash marks.
"Uh… I fell."
"You fell?" Ron muttered in disbelief his eyebrows rising a bit.
"Yeah, I fell… on a rake." Harry mumbled trying to sound very bland.
"Sure Harry. Then what is with the bag of ice?" Ron muttered his voice still etched with disbelief.
"Umm… hemorrhoids." Harry muttered.
Ron just gave Harry an ugly look before shaking his head and turning away.
"Fine whatever. I'll just go let everyone know you are ok. Oh and by the way you better come out soon Hermione is going on about something to do with house elves again."
"Yeah, yeah, little longer." Harry said resting his head on the back of the couch lighting a cigarette.
--
After a quick shower and a change of his clothes and looks Harry made his way up to in his vacant dorm room and down into the Gryffindor common room.
"Harry are you ok? Ron said you fell? Should you go see Madam Pomfrey? Let me see if you are ok?" Hermione muttered in quick succession as reached out trying to lift up Harry's shirt.
"Listen, I'm fine it was really no big deal." Harry responded as shooed Hermione's hands away.
"Now let us put this falling incident behind us and move on to what counts. Ron said you had important news about this house elf terrorist group you are trying to start? Speaking of, which I'm starving." Harry said as he rubbed his stomach, which rumbled hungry for food.
"What? Oh yes!" Hermione shrieked in glee as the light bulb in her head seemed to ding.
"You are hungry? Perfect come on!" Hermione said grabbing Harry and Ron dragging them out of the common room as some of the Gryffindors called out telling Harry what an awesome party it was.
Harry would cringe anytime someone would give him a slap on the back in thanks.
--
"Well after you disappeared, I finally cornered those horribly mutated Twins and had them lead me to the kitchens and then I found out about all the house elves here and …" Hermione said quickly as she described her evening at the party, while Harry barely caught a word of it as he staggered about the halls of Hogwarts a bored expression on his face.
"Listen Hermione is this going somewhere? Or can I go and play some video games or something?" Harry muttered.
Hermione grunted in frustration. "I thought you said you were hungry?"
"Well I don't see how this is getting me food?" Harry replied.
"The kitchens, the house elves, food you dope! Were you even listening?" Hermione answered.
"Not really." Harry said with a shrug.
Hermione sighed as she rolled her eyes.
"Just come on."
--
"A bowl of fruit… cool." Harry muttered as he stared at the painting of fruit.
"Not just that…" Hermione said slyly as she tickled the pear and a door appeared.
"Don't ask me why, but that was kind of hot Hermione." Harry muttered as Ron giggled.
"Shut up Harry." Hermione muttered as she led the two boys into the kitchen.
As the group entered Harry caught eye of a house elf that had bottles of butterbeer strewn about it.
"Holy shit. That is that house elf from the World Cup… I think its dead." Harry said as he made his way to the downed house elf.
"She isn't dead. Her name is Winky and she used to work for that awful Mr. Crouch. I guess she was fired and now she has a drinking problem." Hermione said fiercely as though the elf's reputation had been smeared.
"Ah, can't blame her for that. You know what they say alcohol the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." Harry said with a nod of his head.
"Who says that?" Ron mumbled as he was already stuffing his face full of food being offered by various house elves.
"You know… they." Harry grunted in response with a shrug.
"They?" Hermione responded with a look that she was about to give a lecture about the dangers of drinking to much, but before she could a small figure darted out of no where smashing into Harry's stomach knocking the wind out of him as he collapsed to the floor.
"Harry Potter, sir!" The elf screamed delightfully as it climbed up from the ground with a very happy expression on its face.
After a few moments of sputtering Harry gawked at the elf.
"Your that house elf… that tried to kill me… Dobs or something right?"
"Dobby sir!" Dobby responded in a deep bow.
"Dobby?" Ron muttered his mouth full of food.
"It is so exciting isn't it?" Hermione shrieked as she clapped her hands together.
"Listen Dobby you aren't going to try and kill me again are you?" Harry said dusting himself off as he stood up from the ground.
"No sirs! Never. Would do anything for the great Harry Potter." Dobby squeaked.
"Good, very good." Harry said with a nod.
After a moment Harry looked down and looked at what Dobby was wearing; a tea cozy for a hat, a tie with no shirt, soccer shorts, and socks that didn't match.
"What the hell are you wearing Dobby?"
Dobby looked down admiring himself. "Clothes Harry Potter."
"No you are wearing a train wreck." Harry muttered.
"We are going to have to get you some new threads if you expect to hang around me." Harry said a knowing expression on his face.
"Dobby is a bad elf." Winky suddenly muttered from her passed out form.
"Pipe down you! The men are talking!" Harry shouted.
"Harry!" Hermione shouted as she made her way to Winky's side an angry and hurt look on her face.
Harry rolled his eyes.
"Joking Hermione."
"Anyway, what have you been up to Dobby… oh and can I get some food?"
In an instance a dozen elves popped in carrying plates of all sorts of food.
--
The schooling had started once again after the weekend had ended and Harry had written to Sirius about his unexpected yet expected entry into the Triwizard Tournament, he also mentioned how he been putting his special bedroom to good use and had even hired a house elf to help keep it clean.
"You know Hagrid is great and all, but seriously those screws or whatever the hell they are called totally suck." Harry muttered leaning back against the wall of the dungeons waiting for Snape's potion class to start.
"Well it appears you are not completely brain dead Potter?" The drawling voice of Malfoy sounded as he strolled over to Harry.
"Apparently not." Harry replied with a shrug.
"Close, but not yet."
Malfoy shot Harry a glare that turned into a grin.
"Look what I made Potter." Malfoy muttered an evil grin on his face as he showed a badge on his chest that shown Support Cedric Diggory- The Real Hogwarts Champion! And after a press of the badge it read Potter Stinks!
"Very clever. Haven't seen many around. A collectors item?" Harry muttered.
"Shut up Potter!" Malfoy muttered since his badges apparently had not caught on as much as he thought they would.
Harry silently and inwardly grinned to himself and knew he would have to thank Chaz again… and probably Cho for keeping the Hogwarts population in line.
"So Granger… I heard a rumor hear that you and Potter were an item, but I also heard that Potter here isn't interested in worthless mudbloods." Malfoy muttered apparently doing his homework on the happenings at Hogwarts and this remark quickly grabbed Harry's attention as he pushed himself off the wall and into Malfoy's face.
"Shut the fuck up Malfoy!" Harry said getting into Malfoy's face.
However the damage seemed to be done as Ron and Hermione both looked on at Harry in wonder and confusion.
Malfoy undeterred continued his mocking.
"I heard all about it Potter from Ben in Hufflepuff. Making out with a mudblood… very sad." Malfoy muttered with a snicker.
Before anyone knew what happened spells were be thrown and Goyle and Hermione were now collateral damage as the door to the Potion's classroom swung open and Snape stalked out giving his usual third degree to Harry.
After a few moments of shouting Snape finally let Crabbe take Goyle to the hospital wing and Ron take Hermione, Ron shot Harry a hurtful look towards Harry as he carried a large toothed Hermione away.
--
"Let's see," Snape said evilly. "Fifty points from Gryffindor and a detention for you Potter." As the class made there way into the classroom.
After a few moments Snape made his way to the front of the class as they all took their seats, but Harry remained standing.
"What is it Potter? Or should I make it a week's worth of detentions?" Snape replied in a silky mocking tone.
"I'm waiting for you to punish the hideous mook over there." Harry said pointing his finger over at Malfoy who shot Harry a heinous look.
"Fine a week's worth of detentions instead. Now sit!" Snape hissed.
Harry didn't sit; he stood nodding his head in thought.
"Ok you are ass." Harry muttered, as Snape rose up about to shout, but Harry quickly interjected.
"And another thing, we don't have any house points to take so I don't what the point is. And another thing! Why give me detentions? You know I'm not going to show up to them… I got more important things to do."
The classroom was dead silent as Snape shot his icy glare at Harry.
"You dare Potter?" Snape seethed.
"Perhaps expulsion will straighten you out you worthless, bratty, big headed, boy!" Snape spat.
"Empty threat. In case you didn't notice I'm stuck in a tournament I didn't even choose to be in. You know whole magically binding contract deal." Harry said with a shrug as he saw Snape's temper rise to the point that Harry thought he might attack.
Before anything happened a soft murmur was heard as eyes darted to the door and there stood Colin Creevey.
"Um… they want Harry upstairs, all the champions are wanted." Colin gulped.
"Get out Potter now!" Snape shouted as spit flew from his mouth.
--
"Good lord boy! This isn't how a wand should be treated! It looks as though it has been through a meat grinder!" Ollivander said with a depressed tone of voice as he inspected Harry's wand.
"I'll take that as a compliment." Harry muttered with a shrug as the other champions stared on, as well as Rita Skeeter, Ludo Bagman, and a photographer.
Ollivander shook his head and did a few more tests with the wand before grudgingly calling is passable despite its worn condition.
"Right then. I believe you wanted to take some photographs of our champions." Ludo said with a nod towards Rita.
"Yes indeed and maybe some more in depth interviews… To get to know a little bit more about each of them on a personal level." Rita replied in a girlish tone.
"Jolly good idea." Ludo said with a clap of his hands as Rita made her way to Harry dragging him away from the group.
"Uh, wait a minute." Harry said stopping in his tracks.
"What is the problem Harry?" Rita said with a ridiculously big smile.
"Um… why are we going so far? I'm sure we can talk here."
Rita stared about the room a bit nervous, but reluctantly sat down along with Harry. Pulling out various quills and such, at which Harry shook his head muttering about out of date bird feathers.
"So Harry why did you decide to enter the tournament?" Rita asked as she adjusted herself into a comfy position one leg over the other.
"Well I didn't enter the tournament." Harry muttered.
"Come now Harry no reason to worry about getting into trouble. We all know you shouldn't have entered, but what is done is done." Rita said in an attempt to get answers out of Harry, which she did.
"Listen. I didn't enter this thing. The whole thing is a conspiracy against me." Harry said with a sigh tired of people not listening to what he said.
"Conspiracy?" Rita said a slight expression of confusion, but another expression of curiosity, as she smelled a story lurking in the water.
"Totally a conspiracy by Dumbledore and the Ministry and that guy." Harry muttered jabbing his finger in Ludo's direction.
"All in on it as they force me to participate in a tournament that I don't even want to be in."
"Well there is the magically binding contract." Rita stated as she waited for Harry's response, but jotted down names to investigate.
Harry leaned in close. "Tell me how can I be in a magically binding contract when I didn't even put my name in it? Shouldn't it be the person who put the name in? They are the one's in the magical loop not me. I'm just the name. Why the hell would I enter this thing? I don't need the money or the fame and it sure as hell isn't for school pride." Harry said a nod of his head.
Rita didn't answer right away as she jotted down notes quickly after tucking her Quick-Quotes Quill away.
"All very good questions Harry. Ones that I will investigate myself with your permission of course?" Rita giggled as if she would listen to Harry one way or the other, but either way Harry agreed.
"Since you are stuck in this predicament is there anyone or thing that gives you inspiration as you move forward? Surely your parents must be a big draw? After all that business with You-Know-Who." Rita asked desperate for an answer.
Harry blew out a long gasp of air, as all eyes in the room seemed to be on him now after his mention of a conspiracy theory. He grinned a bit as he lowered his voice to what sounded like a drunken grunt.
"Parents, no, no. You know, you know, you know if there is one person, I can draw inspiration from it has to be Brett Favre."
"Sorry Harry, but who is Brett Favre?" Rita said in confusion.
"Ughh… Brett, Brett Favre is an unbelievable player and you cannot put into words what he has done for the NFL and for… world peace."
"NFL, peace, but who is he?" Rita said in response.
"You know the Greek Gods? Zeus, lightening bolts and what not?"
Rita nodded.
"Well Brett Favre is one step above them. I mean, I mean… you think of all things you've always wanted to do, the things you could do, and the things that you can't do and… that's Brett Favre, he does it all."
Rita wore a blank expression now as well as the rest of the occupants of the room.
"You know, you know, the universe needs balance and, and there is a lot of bad things in the world and Brett Favre balances. He is the balance." Harry finished a smug grin on his face.
Rita nodded her head in complete confusion.
"Anything else?" Harry asked.
Rita shook her head.
--
As the interviews and photos finished the champion's left the abandoned classroom and Cedric caught up to Harry.
"So Harry…"
"Yeah Chaz?"
"Who the hell is Brett Favre?"
--
End Chapter
Not a Favre fan by the way, but seriously couldn't resist.
Oh the Poll is up on my profile. I think... Don't ask me how this shit works. Oh yeah poll is rated M as well. If it doesn't work please pm or leave a review saying so.