Cobra Commandos
(A man in blue uniform, marked with the head of a crimson serpent raised a submachine gun up and ready.)
The ruthless driving-force of a nation-wide terrorist organization, who seek to tighten their iron-hard grip on the world.
(A squadron of Cobra Commandos raid a room, ambushing a squad of American soldiers before unleashing a barrage of bullets on them.)
Millennium's Waffen SS
(A man in Nazi uniform takes his own submachine gun before curling his lips in a snarl, revealing inhuman fangs.)
The death-defying, vampiric Nazis who led the Major's bloody war against all of Europe and fought against two killer organizations.
(A Millennium SS soldier shoots a British soldier with a Mauser before ripping open his throat with his fangs.)
WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we'll find out what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe.
No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…
The Deadliest Warrior
The fight club's weapon arsenal strung a few chords as it was loaded with weapons and donned with symbols that mankind would come to know and hate.
In our LA-based fight club, we've assembled a team of doctors, scientists, and military specialists. All this is to prepare for a battle between two notoriously-ambitious and hated organizations.
Cobra Commandos: the top soldiers of the cold-blooded organization.
VS…
The Millennium SS: a bloody reminder of the savage battleground of WWII.
Cobra Commandos:
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 145lbs
Gear: 6lbs
Years Active: 1985-Present
Loyalties: Cobra Commander
Millennium SS:
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 152lbs
Gear: 8lbs
Years Active: 1945-2000
Loyalties: The Major
A white hedgehog looked over the damage done by some heavy-duty machine gun, eyes wide in shock.
Biomedical scientist and computer expert, TLSoulDude, will gather test data that these two ruthless soldiers will put out.
"What's amazing is that we're bringing in all kinds of devastating weapons: light machine guns, rocket launchers, things that will do damage to any and everything they hit." TL said, excitedly.
A man in camo garbs and a black beret looked over the remains of what might have been the results of a bloody shoot-out.
Biologist and weapons expert, Sergeant Marcus Reynol, will inspect the damage that these two hated enemies of world civilization will dish out.
"On one end, we have Cobra Commandos who bring human intelligence and cunning to the fight, and on the other end, the Millennium SS have inhuman ferocity and skills. I'm having a hard time on this one." Sarge Ray explained.
A spiky-haired, redheaded ninja set to work on a special computer program.
Lunatic the 121stwill collect battle data and input it in a computer simulation developed by Slytherine studios.
"In this battle, it's going to be all-out war." Lunatic warned, "There'll be bullets, explosions, and all kinds of destruction. For that reason, we're spending most of our time outside today."
The computer will create a true-to-life battle scenario between these two warriors. To prevent a lucky bullet or bomb from snaring defeat, the battle will be between five soldiers of each organization. The winner will be the Deadliest Warrior.
A young, well-built military man with a buzz-cut and green camo pants took a submachine gun and took a combat-ready pose with it.
Testing the weapons of the deadly Cobra organization is a member of the organization responsible for halting their activities, Conrad "Duke" Hauser.
"Cobra is NOT a force to be taken lightly." Conrad warned, "You think we at GI Joe have it easy? Guess what? Cobra agents could be anywhere at anytime and you wouldn't know it."
A woman with red hair tested to make sure a light machine gun would work properly. From a good-sounding click, she nodded in satisfaction.
Also fighting for the fearsome Cobra is a GI Joe Intelligence Specialist, Shana "Scarlett" O'Hara.
"The difference between Cobra and Millennium is that the latter of the two went out of power." Shana said, arms folded, "Cobra's still here and ready to do damage at any given time."
Cobra was founded when the man who would become Cobra Commander saved a small town in the United States. After just a few years, the town's hero swiftly rose in power and fame. In the height of his success, he attracted people with similar goals to his own: overthrow government and conquer the world.
"The type of people that Cobra attracted were renegades, rebels, people who wanted more, and people who wanted nothing more than to serve him." Duke explained, "It's a terrible ordeal."
With massive amounts of money and armies of soldiers at their disposal, the Cobra organization would either halt attempts to put their leader behind bars and kill any who stood against them. And thanks to their agents roaming cities worldwide and even working in government facilities, they will guarantee to have the best weapons available.
But two experts are placing their money on Cobra's newest speed bump: the bloodthirsty Nazi remnant known as Millennium's Waffen SS.
A woman with tan skin, platinum-blonde hair, spectacles, and a formal-looking suit took up a pistol before taking practice-aim.
Head of the Hellsing organization that played part in wiping out Millennium, Lady Integra Hellsing, will test the deadly weapons that brought the bloodshed.
"Millennium's troops were born and bred to do nothing but slay their enemies." Integra informed, sternly, "They're like a plague of blood-sucking locusts: they'll leave only corpses in their wake."
Another woman with a duster, sunglasses, and short, dirty-blonde hair cocked a mechanism on a light machine gun.
A member of the Iscariot Vatican Mercenary Group, Heinkel Wolfe, has seen first-hand what Millennium is capable of. She herself has a fair share of scars from the battle.
"Millennium was perhaps THE most dangerous force to fight." Heinkel stated, "They would only stop when they were killed, would kill anything with a heartbeat, and stop for no one except their superiors."
First created before the end of World War II, Millennium was designed to try and create an army of supernatural beings. Using extracts of Mina Harker, Dracula's first victim, and injecting it into soldiers, they were able to create artificial vampires.
"Normally, one becomes a vampire after death." Integra explained, "But to save time, Millennium created 'fake' vampires in that they aren't remotely as strong as most, but still an astonishingly-strong force."
After the war, Nazi remnants, including a former SS simply known as "The Major", found refuge in South America. Then, after more than fifty years in hiding, they raged a bloody battle against England, killing all who dared resist them.
But in a head-to-head battle, which organization's elite troops will topple the other?
"Millennium SS all the way." Reynol stated, clearly and confidently, "When I think of them, I think of guys who are inhuman, vicious, and near-impossible to stop. That's where I'm putting my money."
"Cobra Commandos are better organized, better funded, and better trained." Lunatic disagreed, counting a few things off on his fingers, "I think those three factors are what's going to sway the match in their favor."
When it came to dishing out death, both Cobra and Millennium's elite troops preferred one weapon: spraying submachine guns.
A Millennium SS's preferred choice was…the StG-44: the last line of guns made in the Nazi arsenal, capable of killing at almost a thousand feet.
StG-44:
Size: 3ft
Weight: 11.5lbs
Ammo: 7.92x33 Kurz
Rounds: 30
RPM: 600
Range: 990ft
"For the Millennium SS, there was no better assault weapon than the StG-44." Wolfe said, holding up the rifle, "It was Nazi weapons at their best in terms of firepower and range."
But Cobra also comes in with its own machine of death…the HK MP5: manufactured in the same country, and with modern-day technology.
HK MP5:
Size: 2.5ft
Weight: 6lbs
Ammo: 9x19mm
Rounds: 32
RPM: 800
Range: 660ft
"They can brag about their Nazi weapons all they like." Duke said, indifferently, "In terms of firing rate and ease to carry, nothing's better than the MP5."
To settle the debate between the two organizations' top guns, our team heads out to the firing range.
"So, this is the StG…" Ray said, taking hold of it, "This feels so similar to many other assault rifles."
"That's because this was a revolutionary weapon." Lady Hellsing confirmed, "After this gun, assault rifles began to gain a similar design to it from the AK to the M-series." She then took a bullet from her pocket and handed it to Lunatic. "THIS is what the gun fires: 7.92mm bullets."
"And what about Cobra, Duke?" Lunatic asked.
"This is the HK MP5." Duke said, handing him the submachine gun, "Made in Germany, and like most modern German arms," he stressed the term 'modern', "It's very lightweight and compact, so you can maneuver it in tight spaces. Here." He said, holding out the gun.
Ray took the weapon then peered down the sights, like he was going to kill something. "Wow, that's a lot lighter than I expected. It's almost half the weight of that StG."
"Weight doesn't matter." Wolfe said, shaking her head, "Killing people quickly and decisively matters. By the time you're close enough to shoot a Millennium SS, you'll have your head blown off."
"Well, we've got the thing to test your weapons on: a battle scenario." TL challenged.
Out at the firing range, several dummies stood in two different scenarios, wearing both organizations' uniforms. Five dummies were wearing the grim green Nazi clothing of Millennium's elite troops while five others were wearing blue uniforms with the red serpent of Cobra emblazoned on their chests. Three were clustered together while the other two were acting as lookouts. As one catch, one guard was on the ground: the other was on a platform that acted as sort of a catwalk.
"We've got five Millennium troops and five Cobra troops. You'll have one clip and thirty rounds each to wipe out the enemy." TL explained, "Wolfe, you go first. Duke, you're second. Understand?"
"Yes, sir." Both confirmed.
First up, the StG-44…
Heinkel Wolfe slipped on a pair of sunglasses, then loaded a fresh clip into her submachine gun. Already, she was taking aim at the first dummy: the guard on the ground.
"On my mark…THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"
Wolfe pulled the trigger of her SMG and barraged the first lookout, the one on the ground, with a hail of bullets. Moving in, she aimed upward at the catwalk and nailed the other guard dummy with four rounds. And with just three more steps, she pointed the barrel of her StG-44 at the remaining three dummies and in short, four-round bursts, nailed each one until her clip ran dry.
"Alright!" Lunatic cheered, "That's bringin' the bloodshed for ya!"
The team of experts went in to inspect the damage, bringing down the dummy from the catwalk first.
"This is impressive shooting: she's aiming at him from underneath him, but still managed several good hits. First shot hit in the thigh, but then she hit him in the pelvic region: that's a crippling blow at best." Ray explained, then pointed at a set of holes, "This one here is actually hitting the abdomen and going into the vital organs; stomach, liver, intestines. These shots, in combination, mean this guy is down for the count."
Heading downstairs, they found the second guard and found his wounds a lot more different.
"These are better-placed shots than last time." Ray said, on a positive note, "This guy is dead. Most of the wounds are in his chest, hitting lungs, heart, and spine, another is in his face. He's dead five times before he even hits the ground. And as for these three…" Ray went and did a quick inspect, "Two of these guys just had their brains blown out; had that not happened, these chest wounds would have killed them. And as for the last guy, he's lost the use of an arm and got a bullet wound in his abdomen. He's actually still alive."
"Alive?" Duke asked, "That spells trouble, doesn't it?"
"Not really." Ray answered, "What happened here is that this guy is immobile, has watched his allies get slaughtered, and he's completely at his attacker's mercy. No one's going to save him now."
"But, how's that going to happen if his enemy's clip is dry?" Scarlett asked, brow raised.
"Simple, really." Integra answered, "A Millennium SS would just rip his throat out or just shoot him with a different gun."
Team Millennium's act with the StG-44 is a hard act to follow. Can Team Cobra match them with the MP5?
Duke loaded a fresh clip into an MP5, then extended the collapsible stock before taking aim. His situation was the same as Wolfe's: two guards, one on the ground and one on a catwalk, and three targets under the catwalk.
"Duke, on my mark…Three! Two! One! GO!"
Duke moved in, then aimed up at the guard on the catwalk and opened fire. After feeling it was dead enough, he moved in closer and hailed the ground guard with another barrage of bullets. And moving in, he went hog-wild on the last three dummies, firing as many bullets as he could at the target masses until his gun clicked empty.
The MP5 unloads its magazine quicker, but did it kill all of its targets?
"Okay, the first thing I notice is that this guy has been peppered all across his lower body." Ray said, inspecting the upper guard, "His legs are pumped along with the area just above his hip. This is a kill."
Moving back down, Ray noticed a much more devastating fate for the lower guard. "THIS is almost a total bloodbath: he's got bullets in his head, his neck, and his chest area. This is a kill in every sense of the word."
"Okay, he's taken out both guards, but has he taken out the most important part?" Lunatic asked, "Did he take out the guys inside? Can any fight back?"
The team inspected the three dummies. "Okay, one guy is definitely down for the count. A bullet went in through his cheekbone and exited out the back of his skull. Dead." Ray explained, "One guy here has been grazed on the side here, and lost use of an arm. But the last guy…seems completely unscathed."
"What?" Duke asked in disbelief.
"Sad, but true, Duke." TL said, looking over one of the dummies, "This guy doesn't have a mark on him. Looks like you got a little careless with that gun."
"So, the results for both teams are: four guys dead and one guy helpless for Team Millennium, three guys down, one wounded, and one unhurt for Team Cobra." Lunatic summed up.
"It's all because you didn't pick your targets and got too into using that submachine gun." Integra said, shaking her head, "And you have to get in much closer to use that gun. A Millennium SS will keep his distance."
Both teams have dished out death. And now our experts debate on which weapon gets the edge.
"The MP5 has a faster rate of fire and is a little lighter to carry, but those didn't really help in the big picture. The StG-44, on the other hand, can shoot more accurately and it hits with more stopping power." Lunatic explained, "Edge to Millennium's SS."
In mid-range weapons, the edge goes to Millennium's elite troops.
Cobra Commandos, or Millennium's Waffen SS? If these two elite soldiers from the world's most hated adversaries clashed, which one would overthrow the other?
Our Cobra experts believe that the organization's intelligence, recon abilities, and state-of-the-art weaponry will be dishing out death.
"Cobra is renowned for stealth." Scarlett stated, "They could be your next-door neighbor and you wouldn't be able to tell they were part of a nation-wide organization bent on world domination. And Cobra has weapons that the Nazis could only dream of."
But the supporters of the Nazi vampire group believe that Millennium's bloodthirsty, inhuman mindset will be the one element that separates the two.
"Vampires don't show mercy." Lady Hellsing said, a cigar in her hand, "Their aim is inhuman, meaning they will kill you from a distance, even when you think you're safe."
The Millennium Waffen SS bring to the battle the StG-44 submachine gun, MG 42 light machine gun, Mauser C96 pistol, and the Panzerfaust rocket launcher.
Cobra Commandos will return fire with the HK MP5 submachine gun, FN MAG light machine gun, Glock 18 pistol, and the RPG-7 Rocket Launcher.
When it came to hitting from a distance, both of these villains would strike with a deadly, rapid-fire death-machine.
"By the time you realize that you're going up against Cobra, they'll have sprayed you down with one of these bad boys." Scarlett said, hefting up a light machine gun, "THIS is none other than the FN MAG."
The FN MAG: direct from Belgium, it's been catapulting bullets for more than fifty years and in eighty different countries.
FN MAG:
Size: 4ft
Weight: 26lbs
Ammo: 7.62x51mm NATO
Rounds: 250
RPM: 1000
Range: 2640ft
But Millennium had its own deadly machine gun: one that has gone down in military history since WWII…
"So, you can hit us from afar. I guarantee you that Millennium will hit you from an even greater distance." Lady Hellsing countered, holding up a different gun.
The MG 42: a WWII weapon so feared by Nazi enemies, they gave it the fear-inducing nickname, "Hitler's Buzz-Saw".
MG 42
Size: 44in
Weight: 25.5lbs
Ammo: 8.57mm IS
Rounds: 250
RPM: 1200
Range: 3300ft
"Oh, great…" Reynol said, looking at what Integra and Scarlett were packing, "I had no idea what we were going to see on this show. What exactly are these two guns' reputations?"
"The MAG is used by just about everyone." Scarlett said, showing off the FN MAG, "It's used by Israel, Belgium, Australia, and even American soldiers. So, by getting guys behind the top militaries, Cobra was able to obtain these guns."
"Do I have to remind you that this is not a popularity contest?" Integra asked, brow raised, "Most American soldiers have been trained to recognize the sound this thing makes when it's fired. It's not popular, it's FEARED, and for good reason, too."
"Any problems with your guns that these soldiers needed to be aware of?" TL asked, curiously.
"The problem with this gun is that, if the barrel overheats, you need to replace it." Integra said, opening the gun up and showing how the barrel could be removed, "But this is a fast act to perform: five to six seconds. And you don't have to do this often."
"And the MAG?" Lunatic asked.
"It won't really jam, but it's more often used as a mount on either a vehicle or on steady ground." Scarlett answered.
"Well, we've got one way to prove whose enemy has the better gun for the job." TL said, pointing out to the range.
Said range had foam dummies on remote-controlled machines along with walls to act as obstacles. Attached to each dummy's neck was a patch designed to explode if it was struck the right way, and the range also had a set of obstacles: car, walls, steel drums, anything common on the streets.
"We have moving targets, obstacles to get past, and charges will act as mortar fire that could obscure your vision. You'll each have two-hundred fifty rounds in the feed and have that much time to kill your targets." TL explained, "Team Cobra, you're up first."
Scarlett hunkered down, flat out on her belly, with the FN MAG and loaded in the ammo belt. When it was ready for action, she pressed the butt of the gun against her right shoulder and peered down the sights of the gun.
"Scarlett, you ready?" TL called.
"Yes!"
"Three…two…one…FIRE AWAY!" TL ordered.
On just the first pull of the trigger, Scarlett's FN MAG fired a five-round burst of bullets at the targets. Granted, a few missed their intended target and scarred either the walls or the landscape, others hit their target, dotting the foam torso bullet holes.
Upon adjusting her sights and barraging another torso with a hail of bullets, the explosive pack attached to a dummy's neck went off from a direct hit. Scarlett had just began fire again when an explosive charge went off on the ground, kicking up a cloud of smoke. Scarlett halted fire, then continued when the dust settled a bit.
Another round of fire caused another of the explosive patches on the dummy to burst with a "bang". Then, suddenly, in the midst of fire, Scarlett's gun stopped gun had jammed. Scarlett groaned, then set to work trying to find the problem. Ammo transfer: one of the bullets had gotten stuck from the belt and halted fire.
The gun is deadly, but a single jam requires immediate attention and vital seconds to fix.
After Scarlett fixed the problem, she immediately set back to work; pelting every remaining dummy with lead.
"Nice handiwork, Scarlett. All dummies are riddled, but let's see what kind of damage you did to one target..." Ray congratulated.
After a quick look-over, Ray found something. "Wow. This guy's chest is dyed red with his own blood. You've riddled the most important parts: ribs, lungs, heart, and liver. You hit them all." Ray went to another dummy that was missing its head. "This was due to the explosive tag, but you hit him in the neck; throat, spine, he's deader than dead now."
The MAG brings the bloodshed, but our experts show worry over one flaw...
"I didn't like that jam, though." TL said, shaking his head, "If that happened in battle, that battle would be your last."
"Still, that was only one time." Duke countered, "Most other cheap guns would jam more times. I'd be happier with a gun that jams rarely than one that jams all the time."
"Point made." Lunatic said with a nod, "Hard act to follow, Team Millennium. Can you counter that?"
"Absolutely." Lady Hellsing said, hefting up the infamous MG-42, "I guarantee you, I won't face those same problems."
Can the MG-42 match the FN-MAG in terms of reliability and firepower?
Lady Hellsing, facing a similar test ground as Team Cobra, inserted a belt feed to "Hitler's Buzz-Saw" and took aim.
"Integra, you ready?" TL called.
"Ready!"
"THREE! TWO! ONE! OPEN-FIRE!"
The minute Integra pulled the trigger of the machine gun, it unleashed hell. The gun not only unleashed a faster rate of fire, but created a unique sound in comparison to the MAG.
US Troops in World War II had to be able to identify this gun by sound alone. Seeing it would mean certain death.
The rain of bullets pelted the dummies one by one, but with a few nasty edges. A few more explosive tags went off than with the former team's gun: three in comparison to Team Cobra's one.
BAM!
An explosive charge simulating mortar fire went off, kicking up dust. But the head of Hellsing maintained fire, shooting straight through it. When a dummy emerged from behind the cloud, it was covered in blood.
Integra stopped fire, then pulled a latch and removed the barrel inside. Taking a spare barrel from a small box to her right, she inserted the cooler barrel into the latch and put it back into the gun.
Continuous fire from the MG-42 results in an overheating barrel. But unlike Cobra's MAG, this matter takes a much shorter time: six to seven seconds.
More than a hundred bullets later, Lady Hellsing's gun clicked empty. Her job was done, so she hefted the gun up.
"Nice shootin', Lady." Lunatic congratulated, "We clocked the firepower at twelve-hundred rounds per minute. That's two hundred RPM faster than the MAG, but rapid-fire was Cobra's downfall with their submachine gun. Is this the same?"
Out on the killzone, Ray looked over the dummies used in the test. Most of them, he noticed, didn't have a head left.
"Wow, this is a bloodbath in every sense of the word." Ray said, gesturing to one dummy that still had its head, "Even though you didn't hit the patch here, you pelted this guy full in the face; an insta-kill right there and then." Ray pointed out three bullets ranging from the cheekbone to the center mass of the face.
"But if that headshot didn't hit, he'd be riddled from his chest cavity all the way down to the intestines." Ray said, gesturing down to a grouping of bullets on another dummy.
The MG-42 shows its lethality on the battlefield, but does it deserve its buzz-saw reputation? High-speed footage shows the accuracy behind the machine of death...
"I didn't think they were going to be THAT accurate with this weapon." TL said, watching the footage, "Even with that dust cloud in your way, you knew where the target was and were still able to deliver death."
"We saw you doing something that stalled your fire." Duke pointed out, "What was that all about?"
"A little overheating of the barrel, that's all." Heinkel explained, "If the barrel overheats, just replace it. It takes no time to replace the barrel while it takes strenuous time for you to fix your gun when it jams."
"Our gun only jammed once." Scarlett corrected.
"And we only stopped firing once." Integra countered, "You have nothing on us there."
Both machine guns live up to their respective reputations. But which one gets the edge?
"We saw some nasty killing tools today with these machine guns." Ray explained, "But because of a further range, higher rate of fire, and less time required if your gun does jam, I have to give my edge to Hitler's Buzz-Saw itself, the MG-42."
In long-range weapons, Millennium's SS gets a deadly edge.
In our LA-based fight club, a duel to the death between two lethal enemies is brewing. The challenge: if a squadron of Cobra Commandos fought a legion of Millennium's SS, who would win?
Two experts believe that Cobra's elite training and state-of-the-art weaponry will be the deciding factor.
"Cobra had the best of everything they could get their hands on. And they didn't just bank on good weapons." Duke explained, "They used inhuman methods to make their soldiers strong: brutalize them, drill them long and hard, and hone their accuracy with a gun to the point that they could be considered inhuman. Cobra uses inhuman enemies to their advantage: it makes their enemies fear them."
On the other hand, two people believe that Millennium's elite have already attained the inhuman factor and added onto it.
"Millennium's troops don't need rigorous training to make them cold-blooded and deadly." Heinkel stated, "The minute that vampire blood was added to their system, they only need wait until their humanity broke down. Once that happened, nothing would stop them, and they wouldn't back down from anything, even death itself."
When both had to maneuver in tight places or if their primary arms were out of the picture, they wielded their own lethal side-arm.
Millennium's side-arm of choice was the Mauser C96: with twenty rounds in its magazine, its stamina made it a favorite of the Nazis.
Mauser C96:
Size: 12in
Weight: 1lb
Ammo: 9mm
Rounds: 20
Range: 165ft
Options: Full Auto
"The Mauser was the last thing many a soldier saw during World War II." Lady Hellsing said, showing off a pistol with a long, skinny barrel, an ammo cartridge just in front of the trigger, and a wooden handle with a number 9 emblazoned on it.
"I admire this gun." TL said, taking the gun, "The handgun that can go full auto."
"That's right." Heinkel said with a nod, "One slight adjustment and it will kill whatever you point it at."
Cobra also packs a lethal, fully-automatic handgun; one they say is more accurate, more modern, and with more rounds.
The Glock 18: the automatic handgun of the modern day, carrying up to more than thirty rounds.
Glock 18
Size: 10in
Weight: 1lbs
Ammo: 9mm
Rounds: 33
Range: 181ft
Options: Full Auto
"The difference between the Mauser and this gun here," Duke said holding out a jet-black, modern-looking pistol with an extended mag, "is that this has more stamina, it's not an antique, and its full-auto is a lot easier to control. There's a reason it went out of production."
Both sidearms can be fitted with a stock to ease rapid-fire. But in a head-to-head test, which gun is the better combat-efficient weapon?
Out on the firing range were a pair of obstacle courses: three simulated rooms end-to-end with foam targets set up in various places in the course. Some had a green swastika emblazoned on their chests, while others bore the mark of a crimson serpent.
"Mauser vs. Glock, we've got the best test for you two. You're going to use full auto features throughout this obstacle course." TL instructed, "Green is Cobra's targets, red is Millennium's. Heinkel, you go first with the Mauser."
Heinkel loaded a fresh clip of bullets into the Mauser C96, then attached the detachable stock and took a firm hold on it.
"On my mark...three...two...one...GO!"
Heinkel rushed forward, kicking down the door, then nailed the dummy in front of her with a rain of bullets. However, the Mauser's full-auto had so much kick that she struggled to keep it straight.
Still, it buzzed down the dummy's center, going from his gut to his neck. And Heinkel was more than satisfied with that fact.
Moving on, she swung the next door open and pelted the next dummy with a barrage of bullets. Again, the full-auto was a tad difficult to control and just as she was sure that the dummy was dead, her gun clicked empty.
Heinkel emitted a curse in German, then set to the task of reloading her gun. She had to open up a latch on top, insert a new belt of bullets, and then flip it closed again. After switching it back to full auto, she was ready to roll again.
The Mauser's full-automatic fire is deadly, but its flaws show in our test: hard-to-control full-auto and a prolonged reload.
Heinkel burst through the last door, pointed her Mauser at the dummy, then unleashed a two-second burst of bullets at it.
"Nice work, Heinkel. Each of these guys was the same way: hit him in the gut, then climbed up to their chests." TL said, inspecting the bullet patterns.
"It does worry me, though, that when you use up your ammo, you take a painfully-long time to reload." Scarlett pointed out, "With our gun, we don't struggle as much."
"Still, I killed two of your comrades before you killed me." Heinkel countered.
Now, it's Team Cobra's turn to unleash their handgun: the Glock 18...
Duke put a stamina-based clip into his Glock, then fixated his own stock into the gun handle.
"On my mark." TL called, "Three...two...one...GO!"
Duke burst into the first room, then pumped the first Millennium stand-in with a hail of bullets. However, unlike the Mauser, whose full-auto bucked like a mad bull, the Glock's seemed a bit smoother.
After feeling content with his handiwork, Duke moved into the next room before pelting the next dummy with the rest of his bullets. When his gun clicked, he simply removed the stock in a swift movement. In an equally-smooth movement, he took a fresh clip and put it into the stock, cocked the pistol to make sure it was working, then set to work on the last dummy.
One pull of the trigger, and a two-second burst of lead, and the last Millennium stand-in was barely recognizable.
Team Cobra feels they've triumphed, but what do our experts say?
"This is a bit smoother than the Mauser, that much is obvious." Ray said, looking over the first target, "You hit this guy in the chest and barely strayed from that spot; maybe a bullet in his trachea or collarbone, but nice shooting."
"And you were completely right on what you said." TL added, "You reloaded faster than the Mauser and you packed a bit more stamina than the Mauser."
Both auto pistols are nightmare close-quarter weapons, but our experts have to give the definite edge to one...
"We saw some deadly blows from both pistols, but with more rounds in the mag, a better reload time, and less kick when firing, I give the edge to the Glock 18." Lunatic concluded.
When it comes to pistols, Cobra's Glock gets the edge.
But if both warriors have their way, the enemy may get incinerated before they even get close. Both came armed with hellish explosive weapons...
"An icon for any terrorist organization right here." Scarlett said, hefting a medium-sized rocket launcher, "Since Cobra doesn't have a stake to shove in these guys' hearts, they'll kill them with this: the RPG."
The RPG-7: with its warhead-based ammunition, it can stop anything ranging from an armored vehicle to a squadron of enemies.
RPG-7:
Size: 3ft
Weight: 15lbs
Range: 330ft w/o training
Blast Radius: 16ft
But Team Millennium also has a nightmare of a launcher: one that became the enemy of many an American tank.
"If you thought soldiers using tanks were safe, you're dead-wrong." Lady Hellsing said, pulling up a deep-green launcher, "This weapon is a tank-stopper."
The Panzerfaust: as its name suggests, it is capable of stopping a Panzer tank in its tracks.
Panzerfaust:
Size: 3.3ft
Weight: 14lbs
Range: 200ft
Blast Radius: 15ft
"This is something different now." TL stated, "We've got tank-stopping rockets now. That means that the destructiveness in this episode has just gone up."
To settle on which rocket launcher is more lethal, our team heads out to the firing range.
Out on the range were a pair of big-rig trucks: one green, the other blue. A fire crew stood by, ready to hose down any flames that, combined with gas tanks, would cause a deadly explosion. And in the hand of the respective experts was a bazooka-like weapon.
"Now, since we have two rocket-propelled grenades, we're putting you to the test against vehicles." TL explained, "Team Cobra, you hit the green truck. Team Millennium, you hit the blue one. One shot each, and name your range. Team Millennium, you go first with the Panzerfaust. What's your range?"
"Sixty meters." Lady Hellsing answered, slinging the launcher over her shoulder.
Integra aimed down the sights of the launcher aiming at the blue truck.
"On my mark!" TL called, "Three! Two! One! FIRE!"
With just a movement of Integra's index finger, the Panzerfaust fired its rocket. Said projectile flew through the air and hit the truck right in the side and detonated in a burst of superheated gas.
When the smoke cleared, the truck was a wreck: charred black, hunks of it missing, the whole thing was just a wreck. Flames also licked the inside of the vehicle, which the fire crew immediately set to work on.
Lunatic was whooping at the sight of such destruction. Because of his inability to speak, TL had to do it all for him.
"That weapon did THAT much to a vehicle of that size. That's going to be devastating for a five-on-five man-fight." TL said, looking over some footage, "The explosion hits the door first, then explodes on impact. What's fun about this, though, is that it continues going and actually goes out the other door, too."
"So, you're killing both people in the truck, basically." Loon asked.
"Very nice, Nazi nerds." Duke congratulated, then deadpanned, "Too bad Cobra's launcher hits from more than a hundred feet further than yours. They'll hit you before you hit them."
Can Team Cobra back up their words? For an accurate test, Scarlett takes aim at thirty meters further than Team Millennium's Panzerfaust test.
Scarlett loaded a rocket into the RPG, then looked down its sights at the army-green truck.
"Scarlett, you ready?" TL called.
"Ready!" she yelled back.
"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"
Scarlett pulled the trigger of the RPG, unleashing the deadly explosive. Said explosive rocketed forward, crossing a greater distance than the Panzerfaust and hitting the truck square in the nose and exploding, killing any who might have been inside.
The truck was almost unidentifiable with its front almost completely demolished; and high-speed footage revealed that the damage to the truck was done the same way as the Panzerfaust: the rocket penetrated and exploded at the same time, causing a burst of fire and shrapnel to kill anyone who was fortunate enough to be driving and riding it.
Lunatic's reaction was even greater than when he saw the Panzerfaust's results. He was holding back as much as he could in order not to jump in the air.
"Wow, you hit these guys head-on." TL admired, "Cobra must have some serious gall to pull something like that."
"Believe me." Scarlett stated, "They would do that and more."
The damage of both rockets are deadly, but which explosive gets the edge in battle?
"Both these two are one-shot weapons, so that first shot it going to be a deciding factor." Lunatic informed, "I won't base anything on explosion force, but I WILL say that the RPG's superior range to the Panzerfaust gives it my edge. First shot, first kill, and if you can hit from further away, it'll make all the difference."
In special weapons, the edge goes to Cobra's Commandos for the RPG-7.
Now, with our testing complete after a long week, it's time for the elite of two evils to cross fire and decide who is the Deadliest Warrior.
We tested four weapons of the Cobra Commandos: the HK MP5 submachine gun, FN MAG machine gun, Glock 18 pistol, and the RPG-7 rocket launcher.
We also tested four weapons of choice of Millennium's SS: the StG-44 submachine gun, MG42 machine gun, Mauser pistol, and the Panzerfaust rocket launcher.
In mid-range combat, the Nazi's pride and joy went up against a modern slayer as the StG-44 clashed against the HK MP5.
"The MP5 has a good rate of fire and is a reliable gun, but in a firefight, it's the first shot that counts. Because of range and more control, I give the edge to the StG."
Edge: Millennium SS
In close-quarters, both brought a nasty automatic pistol: the Mauser C96 and the Glock 18.
"More rounds in the clip, more control over the full-auto; edge to the Glock."
Edge: Cobra Commando
In long-range weapons, both packed legendary machine guns as the FN MAG faced off against the MG42.
"Both guns can do their job of buzzing down their enemies, but we saw some slightly better shooting and a faster problem to solve with the MG42. That's what I'll back up."
Edge: Millennium SS
Finally, in special weapons, rockets blazed from Cobra's RPG-7 and Millennium's Panzerfaust.
"Based on hundred-meter distance range and ease to use, I put my money on the RPG. The Panzerfaust won't reach that far, especially considering the RPG's maximum range."
Edge: Cobra Commando
With the test data input complete, Lunatic will run a simulation in a computer program developed by Slytherine Studios to decide the winner. To prevent a lucky blow from claiming victory, Lunatic sets the five-on-five battle to run a thousand times.
"Cobra vs. Millennium; this is the moment of truth between these two evils' top troops. So, why wait?" Lunatic asked, and with a stroke of the Enter key, the battle began.
-the fight-
On a snowy mountainside, a team of five Millennium SS made their way towards an abandoned snowside base. Their captain, bearing the swastika symbol on his right arm, inspected the base before taking notice of other human presences in the base.
Inside the base was a five-man squad of Cobra Commandos clad in blue and bearing the crimson cobra head. Their leader wore a mask that shielded all below his nose as well as an azure army helmet. One of them was acting as lookout for invaders.
Cobra: 5
Millennium: 5
The SS leader halted his soldiers, then beckoned one of them forward. Said soldier hefted a Panzerfaust rocket launcher over his shoulder and took aim. Once the Commando lookout was in his sights, he pulled the trigger. With a hiss of propellant, the rocket flew at the base.
The Commando only had time to see it coming. The rocket exploded, the pressure wave bowling him clean off his feet while the shrapnel shredded him like paper.
Cobra: 4
Millennium: 5
An alarm went off, drawing the Cobra Commandos inside to attention. One made his way up a floor while the other three retrieved their weapons and rushed towards the main entryway.
Outside, the SS leader barked "Öffnen Sie Feuer", and at his command alone, one of his troops hunkered down and readied the legendary MG 42, Hitler's Buzz-Saw. Said gunner unleashed a storm of bullets just as the Cobra Commandos looked ready to come out. A lightning-fast reflex kept the blue-clad soldiers from suffering another casualty.
While the Cobra Commandos below returned fire with their MP5s, the one that was a floor above picked up his RPG-7 and aimed out a window.
Below, the SS leader looked up, spotting said Commando. He barked "Rückzug", and all his troops up and retreated. But the one who wielded the Panzerfaust wasn't so lucky: he had just loaded another rocket into his launcher when he found himself at the center of the RPG's blast.
He lay in pieces, scattered across the ground in a bloody mess.
Cobra: 4
Millennium: 4
The Millennium SS moved around to find another entryway on the base's side while the Cobra Commandos, spotting their enemy retreating, took off in the same direction. The Millennium SS swung open a door, each one with weapons at the ready. The room they had entered was the power source, providing electricity and heat to the base.
The Millennium SS were just spanning a wall towards another doorway when another door just one floor above opened up. The Cobra Commandos had ambushed them, raining down bullets from their HK MP5s. The SS returned fire with their StG-44s, only to miss, their bullets ricocheting off the metal walls of the base.
The Millennium SS scattered while one with the fear-inducing MG 42 continued to fire up at them. The Cobra Commandos fled, but one was unfortunate enough to take a hail of bullets to his chest. He toppled forward, rolling down the stairs and sprawling out across the floor, his limbs spread out.
Cobra: 3
Millennium: 4
The Lead Commando chased a pair of Millennium SS, then aimed his MP5 and fired a barrage of bullets. While many fell stray of one of one of the SS soldiers, the other wasn't as fortunate as he crumpled to the ground.
The Lead Commando made very sure to step on this one's corpse as he chased after the other one.
Cobra: 3
Millennium: 3
The Millennium SS leader armed with an StG-44 went through a doorway, but dived for cover before a storm of bullets flew at him. The Cobra Commando he was chasing had propped an FN MAG on a table and was using it as a steady for his light machine gun.
The SS returned fire, but only briefly before ducking again to avoid fire. But soon, the Commando's gun jammed. After a mental curse, he ducked behind the heavy-set table and tried to fix his gun up. He fixed his gun soon enough and raised it over the table only to find that his enemy was no longer there.
The cocking of a gun reached his ears as he slowly turned around...
The SS leader was pointing a Mauser pistol straight at his head. By now, he figured it was the perfect time to emit two words that perfectly described the situation.
"Oh, crap..."
BANG!
The Cobra Commando fell, lifeless, to the floor with a bullet lodged in his brain. Due to the no-reflex killzone hit, he didn't even get a shot out as he was killed.
The SS Leader humphed at his enemy, then went on his way. Still a few more pests to eliminate...
Cobra: 2
Millennium: 3
One Cobra Commando came across a very dark hallway that he felt would be a good hiding place for him...or an enemy. Taking precautions, he pulled out a pair of nightvision goggles and took a Glock pistol in his hand before venturing off into the dark.
It was not the most assuring place to be. Even the slightest sound seemed like enemy movement, even when it was no more than a drop of water falling into a forming puddle. He was just very thankful for these goggles.
He spotted something; something that seemed out-of-place among the pipes and chambers: a coated soldier with an MG 42 pointing straight at him.
The Cobra Commando's itchy trigger finger saved his life because that shot forced the Millennium SS to take evasive action. But with a bulky machine gun prohibiting his movement, he only saved himself from death once. The next one hit him in the shoulder, and soon another hit him right between the eyes.
He fell to the ground with the gun clattering down to his side.
Cobra: 2
Millennium: 2
The Cobra Commando looked down at his enemy; upon making sure he was dead, he continued down the hallway until he came upon light. There to meet him was his masked leader. On recognizing each other, they hurried down the hallway.
Not too far away, the SS Leader had just run into his own subordinate. Both gave each other a nod, then turned a corner in search of their enemies, hoping to get the jump on them before they themselves were caught.
Both teams found themselves in a docking bay, where vehicles from jeeps to snowmobiles lay, waiting for use. The Millennium SS emerged from one side while the Cobra Commandos emerged from the other.
The SS split up, one carrying the StG, the leader taking his Mauser. The SS follower used a jeep as cover, peeked around it, then stealthy stalked behind another vehicle.
The Cobra Commandos, on the other hand, took a different approach. They stayed together, moving through the labyrinth of vehicles...
BANG!
A three-round burst of bullets hit the pistol-packing Cobra Commando full in the chest, sending him stumbling to the ground. The Millennium SS had nailed him with his StG-44, and had narrowly missed the Cobra leader.
The Cobra Leader raised his HK MP5 and returned fire, sending the SS back in hiding. Looking down at the front of the vehicle the vampiric Nazi was hiding behind, he could make out the boots.
He got down in a crawl position, aimed his MP5, then fired. Just as the Millennium SS was about to come out, a barrage of bullets riddled his legs. The Nazi fell to the floor and tried to prop himself up to fire his StG, but got hit smack in the head and shoulders with the MP5's ammo.
Cobra: 1
Millennium: 1
The Cobra Leader got to his feet, then crouched and silently made his way away from the fallen soldiers.
BANG!
A bullet ricocheted off a jeep's nose just as the Cobra Leader was about to come out. The Millennium Leader had tried to put a bullet in him. Peeking out, he returned fire with his MP5 only to see it hit air, missing his enemy completely.
Both moved around their respective vehicles, trying to get a good aim on each other, but not going anywhere.
The Millennium Leader got an idea and made a mad dash across, drawing fire from the Cobra Leader. The Cobra Leader's teeth gritted in frustration as none of his bullets hit their moving target.
The Millennium Leader sprang behind another vehicle, then took a quick glance before pulling out his Mauser and firing one single bullet. Mentioned bullet flew through the air and hit the Cobra Leader in his right arm.
The Cobra Leader grunted in pain, then turned his gun and fired at the spot, a bullet grazing the Millennium Leader's own arm. The vampiric Waffen SS emitted a pained snarl, then made a slight adjustment to his pistol.
The Cobra Commando emerged to fire, but was met with a nasty surprise. He was just about to fire when the Millennium Leader emerged and unleashed a full-auto burst from his Mauser. The bullets barraged the Cobra Leader full in the chest, the blue-clad leader spasming as he went down.
The Millennium SS strode over to his downed opponent, who pointed his MP5 at him. The Millennium Leader backed off slightly, feeling that right now, he had been suckered.
Click.
The Cobra Leader had used up all his bullets. Now, he was at the Millennium Leader's mercy.
The Millennium SS Leader emitted a toothy, inhuman smile as he picked the Cobra Leader up by the collar. Said SS opened his mouth and clamped his sharp fangs down on the Cobra Commando's neck, blood spurting from severed arteries and open wounds. The Cobra Commando emitted a strangled scream until all life had left his body.
Cobra: 0
Millennium: 1
The Millennium SS released his enemy from the chokehold, then dumped him unceremoniously on the floor. Blood dyed his mouth a deep crimson as he raised a fist and shouted, "Sieg für Jahrtausend!"
-end-
Winner: Millennium Waffen SS
"Millennium's SS took the match because of their reliable mid- and long-range firearms." Lunatic explained, "The Cobra Commandos had reliable weapons, but not enough to match the devastation that their enemies brought to the fight."
Out of a thousand battles, the Cobra Commandos could only win 457 times...
Cobra Commando Kills…
HK MP5: 106
Glock 18: 68
FN MAG: 189
RPG-7: 94
All-in-all Kills: 457
The Millennium SS won strong with 543 kills, their StG and MG 42 being their best weapons.
Millennium SS Kills…
StG-44: 187
Mauser C96: 67
MG 42: 213
Panzerfaust: 76
All-in-all Kills: 543
"Team Cobra had good weapons, no doubt about it. But when it comes to bringing the bloodshed, Millennium's SS had the better weapons for maximum slaughter." Ray explained.
"In real life, Cobra's elite would not have gone down that easy." Duke stated, "Cobra built a still-living organization; Millennium didn't."
"I had no doubts." Integra said, sternly, "Cobra can intimidate as much as they want. But today has proven that Millennium's Waffen SS is the deadliest warrior."
(A Millennium SS emitted a beastly snarl, blood staining his mouth red.)
With apologies to GI Joe fans.
Next time...
Two legendary assassins of their respective worlds turn on each other.
The Xing Assassin: the Xing province's elite soldiers assigned to destroy threats to the emperor.
VS.
The Mist Ninja: the assassin who, by childhood, was already drenched in blood.
Stay tuned...