Chapter 21
He had been so understanding when she had told him about Becky. However, his odd behaviour the previous day had Mrs Hughes worried. Was he having pre-wedding jitters as Mrs Patmore had joked? Was he regretting taking on not just Mrs Hughes but her sister as well? The Housekeeper tried to tell herself that this could not be true; Charles Carson was an honourable and sincere man. He had shown his love in numerous ways since their engagement and yesterday had been a very busy day with lots to do; he was probably just tired. Yes, that was probably it. However, she could not shake her niggling doubts, something was bothering Mr Carson and she needed to know what.
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"Are you feeling a bit better today? You seemed a little out of sorts yesterday?" she said softly, as they sat together at breakfast.
The other staff chatted amiably around them.
"Yes thank you Mrs Hughes … don't mind me … I am well," he smiled reassuringly.
She returned his smile but noticed his happiness did not quite reach his eyes.
"I wondered if we should visit the cottage this morning? See how the renovations are getting along …" he suggested.
He knew he had to discuss the 'rooming' situation with her and he felt it might be easier to be away from the House. She looked pleasantly surprised; if he is thinking about the cottage, surely he cannot be having doubts? She thought hopefully.
"Yes that would be wonderful," she replied, giving his knee a tiny squeeze under the table.
He grinned soppily at her, quickly righting himself as he realised they were surrounded by others.
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"It really is delightful," she beamed, as she walked through to the kitchen.
They had taken off their coats, Mr Carson had even removed his jacket. They both already felt relaxed in their new surroundings. The cottage was not huge but it was well-apportioned; a lovely sitting-room downstairs and a good-sized kitchen, with a scullery off to the side. This is where the maid would live in the short-term. The door from the kitchen opened out onto a well-appointed garden, south-facing to catch the sun and with a beautiful red birch at the end. There was also a welcoming hallway downstairs and upstairs there were three bedrooms and a bathroom. The front bedroom was the largest by far, with two smaller bedrooms at the rear of the house; all suitable for guests whilst the cottage was run as a 'Bed and Breakfast' but certainly one of the smaller rooms would become a study once Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes moved in.
"I am glad you like it. Do you think, in the not too distant future, you would be happy to have this as your home Elsie?" he asked hopefully.
"Very happy Charles, although my home will be wherever you are and so whether we live in a cottage or a cardboard box I will be happy," she said sincerely.
Mr Carson beamed with pride.
"It would have to be a large cardboard box to accommodate me!" he joked.
She laughed.
"Shall we have a look upstairs?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, I think we should," she smiled.
She had seen upstairs briefly when she had toured potential homes with Mr Carson. However, if she was honest, her mind was on other things that day, such as how to tell her dear friend that she could not buy a property with him, and so she hadn't really taken it all in.
He took her hand as they walked upstairs together. They looked into the two smaller rooms first and then the bathroom. Mrs Hughes was particularly excited at the thought of having her own tub; it had been years since she had been able to luxuriate in a bath. These days a bath proved very functional and she was in and out in a jiffy, with so many other things to do. As they moved from room to room they discussed additions and changes that could be made, to make the cottage even more homely and truly theirs.
It felt somewhat unreal to them both, to be looking around the home that was going to be theirs one day, the home that they now owned. Both had lived in other people's homes for decades. Mr Carson realised that for the first time in his life, he was looking forward to the future and the changes it would bring. He could not wait for Mrs Hughes to be his wife; he just needed to get over the small hurdle of confirming the sleeping arrangements first.
They smiled happily as they held hands and walked into the large bedroom at the front of the House. Mrs Hughes opened her eyes wide in surprise as she realised a large, double bed had been delivered. The room had been empty when they last visited.
"I didn't realise the bed had arrived, it complements the other furnishings well," Mrs Hughes said admiringly.
Mr Carson gulped, hoping this might be his way in.
"Umm yes … we did say this room could be for married couples didn't we? The other two bedrooms will be for guests travelling alone?" he said cautiously.
"Yes that's right … it is perfect isn't it? And this bedroom had the most beautiful view … you can see right down to the stream," Mrs Hughes smiled, looking in wonder out of the window.
What Mrs Hughes didn't say was that she hoped this would be their bedroom, she could not imagine a room more perfect for them and the thought of waking up next to Mr Carson made her tingle in anticipation. However, she and the Butler had not discussed such things yet. Mr Carson walked across to stand beside Mrs Hughes at the window. He also admired the view. She rested her hand over his on the windowsill. He turned towards her and gave her the warmest smile. It's now or never Charles, he told himself.
"I have something to ask you Elsie …" he began.
She watched as his body became fraught with nerves. She gripped his hand in hers to offer support.
"Is this what has been on your mind since yesterday?"
He realised he never could hide anything from her. He nodded. She did not know whether to feel relieved that he was finally going to tell her or worried about what he was going to say.
"I didn't know how to ask … it is very … delicate …" he said, feeling his heart race.
"Delicate?" she asked.
She noted that he could not hold her gaze; he kept looking out of the window.
"Charles, what is it?" she asked, panic rising.
"His Lordship offered some alternatives regarding our living arrangements at Downton … once we are married of course …"
"Oh yes …."
Just say it Charles, for heaven's sake, he told himself. He hoped and prayed she would not be appalled by the idea of sharing a bedroom with him.
"We could have married quarters at the House or even a cottage on the Estate like Mr and Mrs Bates or … we could just remain in our current rooms … I … I … I told Lord Grantham that the latter would not be acceptable, that we would want to be together …"
"Yes quite right," she replied matter-of-factly.
Quite right, she had said. As simple as that, Mr Carson thought. He had been worrying for absolutely nothing. Relief flooded his body; she had not flickered for even a second at the suggestion of them being together. A beaming smile appeared on his face. Mrs Hughes was puzzled and then realisation dawned.
"Is that what you were worried about?" she asked, shaking her head with a smile.
Honestly, I have been imagining all sorts of things and that was what my lovely but daft man was fretting about, she reflected with a wry smile.
"I thought you might think me presumptuous … I only realised afterwards that I should have asked you first … you might not want to … well, you might not want to be ... together with me," he stuttered.
His emphasis on the word 'together' left neither in any doubt about his meaning. The Butler's initial relief and happiness turned to outright embarrassment once more, having broached such a delicate topic so openly with Mrs Hughes.
"Well I do … so that's that," she said plainly.
That's that, Mr Carson grinned delightedly.