Disclaimer: 21 chapters and I still do not own. Guess I never will either.
Comments: Black Juju your review made me laugh, but that's because it made me happy. Why Sora is not more pissed at Tidus- yes, because Tidus isn't the one he has feelings for and well, Sora doesn't actually know that much about the game and everyone else's involvement in it. And I am sorry to say, he isn't going to find out either. I really don't think it plays much into the story. Wow, you don't want it to end, but it is already this long. I don't want to start boring people. But thank you, really. Gir-Geek and SoraSakura when I was going to end it that chapter, it was different. Muchacha yep, but since I am a female that is how it goes. Can't get too far into the way a man would think. B-nothing thanks, glad you love the story. Hanakitsunechan7 his day is going to get better, lots better. EG I could answer your question, but I'll let you see for yourself. I want to thank everyone. I was afraid people wouldn't like the little scenes between Axel and Sora and the others, thinking that they didn't fit. Surprisingly a lot of people did like them. As promised here is the last chapter. Hope everyone enjoys!
Chapter 21 What I Should Have Said
Sora wandered around the other side of town aimlessly. He was over there to go to his session, but had skipped it. He would probably hear about it when his parents found out, but he didn't care. He didn't want to be there today. He had went every other time even though it never seemed to help, so what would be the harm in missing one session. He had better uses for his time in his opinion. Like figuring out what to do about Riku.
As Sora walked passed the park he use to play at when he was younger he decided to sit and rest for a while. He sat on a bench away from the playground equipment and half watched as the little kids ran around having fun.
"Sora?" a familiar voice said. Sora looked up to see Hayner looking down at him. Sora smiled at him and Hayner sat down on the bench next to him.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here. I was just walking passed the park and saw someone with spiky hair, so I thought I would come see if it was you. How have you been?" Hayner said, looking over to Sora. Sora looked away.
"Alright. I have gotten use to being over there and away from my friends. It was really hard at first, but it's alright now." Sora answered.
"That's good. We've missed you."
"I've missed you guys too. How is everyone?"
"Everyone is good. Oh, I have some news for you. Axel transferred schools. I heard he came in this morning and withdrew. I think the whole school is pretty happy. Feel sorry for the school he is moving to though."
"He came to mine." Sora said.
"What? Does this mean he followed you? That bastard, just can't leave you alone even after you moved." Hayner said.
Sora sat quietly thinking about the day he had had. Some of it had been nice. Something like Axel and him talking and cutting up in the hallway would never have happened at their old school. But at his new school he didn't have to hide their friendship. Maybe it had been wrong to ever hide it in the first place. He was able to get this far because of Axel, not his other friends from back here, but because of Axel. Axel was one of the most important people to him. He was always there for him. Always. He didn't judge him, he didn't make fun of him. He was just there and he took care of him. Sora was going to fix things starting now.
"Axel is not a bastard." Sora said, still looking away. Hayner was shocked by Sora defending him.
"How can you say that Sora? He was always messing with you and now he has even followed you. You were finally away from him and now he's there again."
"I never wanted to be away from him."
"What? What are you saying Sora?" Hayner asked. Sora looked at him, sadness on his face.
"I'm sorry, Hayner. I lied to you. For a long time I lied to you and our friends. I was afraid if you knew the truth you would hate me and not be my friend anymore so I hid things."
"Huh? Hid what?"
"Axel wasn't bothering me. We are friends, we were more than friends actually." Sora sighed before continuing, "Two years ago something really bad happened to me, please don't make me tell you what it was, I don't really want to talk about it. It was bad though. Axel found me afterwards. He helped me and he took care of me. I was in really bad shape at the time and he could have just left me there like that, but he didn't. He carried me all the way to his house and got me the help I needed."
Hayner looked surprised at what he was hearing. He had never heard anything about this before. He didn't ask any questions and just waited for Sora to continue.
"He's been there for me ever since. Always watching out for me and taking care of me. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him. I know you have always hated him because of how he is, but you've never seen the side of him I see. You don't know how he is with people he truly cares about. He is incredibly protective of me. He is caring and gentle at times. He will probably get mad at me for telling you all this and say that I am ruining his reputation, but oh well."
"Sora..."
"The other night, the person who hurt me two years ago showed up again. Axel was great. I was scared and he came to save me. He made sure I was gotten away from there and he started fighting that guy. I heard he was really angry and people thought he really would kill the other guy. He was doing it to protect me. He was even going to not see this guy he really likes because of something that guy was involved with that hurt me emotionally."
"This is Axel you're talking about? The same guy that has been constantly flirting with you? The pervert, beats everyone up for looking at him in a way he doesn't like guy?" Hayner asked. Sora laughed.
"I never said he's a saint. Yeah, the same one. For the record he didn't start flirting with me at school until we were already in a relationship."
"What exactly do you mean by a relationship?"
"We were lovers." Sora said, his voice soft.
"Lovers?" Hayner asked, his voice just as soft. Sora could not read his expression and that worried him a little.
"Are you disgusted? Do you hate me now? I have slept with a guy. I like guys, actually I'm bi, I guess. I still like girls, but I tend to like guys more."
"What? No, I'm not disgusted, nor do I hate you now. Why would you think that? I just wish I would have known sooner that you liked guys, I would have asked you out."
"Huh?" Sora asked, surprised. "Why would you have asked me out? You like Rikku."
"Well yeah, I liked her, but I liked you more. I just thought you were straight. Damn Axel, so not fair. Now I don't like him cause I'm jealous he was with you like that." Hayner said.
"I wasn't trying to give you another reason not to like him."
"I know, I was just kidding about not liking him because of that. It seems I've been wrong about him. I was serious when I said I would have asked you out though."
"Would have? Meaning you wouldn't anymore?" Sora asked.
"No, I am going out with someone already. You don't know her though, she moved here after you moved. I really like her though. What about you? You said Axel likes someone else now."
"Yeah, a friend of mine. I think they both really like each other, so I hope things work out between them."
"Okay, so that's Axel, but what about you? Are you seeing someone? Or maybe have someone you like?" Hayner asked. Sora got quiet and looked away again. Hayner grew concerned by this.
"Sora? What's wrong? You can talk to me you know." Sora could hear the worry in his friends voice.
"Yeah, there is someone. But I just don't know. That's why I was here. I'm trying to figure out what to do."
"Maybe it will help you to talk about it. I probably don't know the person, but that might be better. I can listen objectively."
"You've met him, well seen him anyway. Remember that night we went to that club because you heard Rikku was going to be there? But she was with a group of guys so you didn't get to talk to her." Sora said.
"I remember. Those guys were jerks. And the one, 'why would she want to dance with you, when she can dance with one of us' I wanted to punch him." Hayner said. Sora couldn't help but laugh.
"Those guys are my friends now, most of them anyways. And the one you just said you wanted to punch is the one I'm talking about." Sora said, still laughing. Hayner felt like he had opened his mouth and inserted his foot again.
"Oops." Hayner said, smiling a half smile, like he was feeling guilty. Sora stopped laughing and shrugged.
"Don't worry about it, they were acting like jerks, and he made me mad that night too."
"Okay, so I know who the guy is, but I still don't know him."
"His name is Riku. He started flirting with me not too long after I moved over there. At first I hated him, but it had very little to do with him. We started spending more and more time together and I was having a hard time hating him. Yeah, he could still be a jerk at times, but who isn't. After a while I realized I didn't hate him at all, I liked him. I kept trying to deny it to myself though." Sora stopped for a moment.
"I told you earlier how that guy who hurt me before showed up and Axel got me out of there. He pushed me to Riku, who was actually the one to get me out of there. Riku stayed with me all night long, just trying to comfort me. I was crying bad and he held me the whole time. I felt safer just having him with me."
"The next day I overheard something. Roxas, the one Axel likes, was asking Riku if he was going to stop playing his game now. He said Riku had found out what he had wanted to know and that I had been hurt enough without him making it worse." Sora said, trying to keep from crying again.
"A game? What kind of game?"
"I don't know, I didn't ask. I was so mad I punched him and started yelling. I told him I hated him. He looked so hurt when I said that. But everything had been a lie, he was just playing with me. He didn't really care about me. I was just a game to him. That's what I thought. But I talked to him earlier today and now I don't know what to think."
"What did he say?" Hayner asked. Sora looked up at him and started to relay some of what Riku had told him.
"He said that the game was on him, not me." Sora finished up.
"And you aren't sure if you believe him?" Hayner asked. He had listened quietly to everything that Sora had told him, not interrupting at all.
"Should I? After everything, should I just believe that he is telling me the truth now?" Sora asked.
"I can't tell you what to believe Sora, you have to decide that on your own. I don't know the guy and I have never seen him with you, so I don't know if he really loves you. But from everything you have told me, it sounds like he just might. What reason would he have lying to you now after you already found out about his game? It seems like if he didn't care at all, he wouldn't even bother with you anymore."
"Maybe, but I just don't know."
"What do you feel? It seems to me like you do believe him, you're just not wanting to admit that. Or maybe you think that if you forgive him to soon then you're letting him off to easy."
"Wouldn't I be? It really hurt when I heard that?"
"It hurt because you love him. Not to forgive him even though you do believe him is like saying 'you hurt me and now I am going to hurt you'. Do you really want to hurt him, Sora? Do you want to risk losing him?"
Sora looked down at the ground. As he thought about what Hayner had said he could feel his eyes tearing up. He wiped the tears from his eyes before he spoke.
"No, I don't want to lose him. Riku knows me better than anyone. He understands things about me that I never told him, he just figured them out for himself by paying attention to me. Even though he knows those things I have tried to hide, he still loves me. He loves me, the real me. And I always thought no one ever would be able too. And I love him too. He makes me feel things that no one ever has. I really love him."
"Are you sure?" Hayner asked, although he already knew the answer. He just thought Sora needed to say it out loud. Sora looked at him again and smiled.
"Yes, I'm sure. I love Riku. I love him and I want to be with him. I just hope it's not too late."
"Then go find him and tell him how you honestly feel." Hayner told him, smiling back. Hayner stood up and grabbed Sora's hand to pull him up as well. He started gently pushing Sora away tell him to go get his man. Sora was laughing to himself as he walked away.
On the bus ride back Sora sat in his seat staring out the window, a small smile on his mouth. All this time he had been scared for no reason. He had told Hayner the truth about his friendship with Axel and Hayner didn't hate him. He might not have gone into how he had been pretending to be the old Sora, but he knew that Hayner had understood that he was different and accepted that. And now he was on his way to talk to Riku. He hoped the talk would go just as well.
Sora arrived shortly at Riku's house. Sora's noticed his hand trembling as he went to knock on the door. He wasn't sure though if the fear that tremble showed was because Sephiroth could still be around or because of Riku. He was willing to guess the latter though. The first knock was too soft and went unanswered. Sora knocked again, louder the second time. Still no answer.
Sora was about to give up when he heard something behind him. Turning quickly he came face to face with Roxas and Axel. The two stood there smiling at him and Sora guessed their date must have gone well.
"He probably can't hear the knocking. Sometimes he turns his music up real loud. I'll see if I can call him." Roxas said. Sora nodded softly and waited for Roxas to make the call.
The phone rang several times and Roxas hung up and called again. He tried this three times before finally getting an answer.
"What?" Riku yelled into the phone. He hadn't wanted to talk to anyone, but Roxas would not quit calling.
"There is someone knocking on your front door."
"Go away Roxas, I don't want to talk to anyone right now." Riku said with anger in his voice.
"Its not me. I was coming to see how you were, but someone else was already here. Someone you may want to talk to."
Riku didn't say anything and hung up soon after without saying another word. A couple of minutes later the door was opening in front of them. Riku looked out and surprise showed on his face as he saw Sora standing there. He had not expected Sora to come over and he didn't know why he was there. Maybe he just wanted to yell at him some more or hit him again. Riku didn't care though, he would let him if that was what he wanted. Riku stared at Sora speechless and Sora stared back. After a couple of minutes a soft sigh escaped Sora's lips.
"Can I come in?" Sora asked. Riku responded by opening the door further to allow him to enter. Riku watched as Sora entered the house then turned his attention to the other two outside his door. Axel shook his head and grabbed Roxas' arm pulling him away. Riku nodded and closed the door.
Riku walked into his living room and found Sora sitting on the couch. Just from looking at him he could tell Sora was tense. Riku sat down on the couch as well, but kept his distance, giving Sora space.
Silence continued for a while before either spoke. Sora was nervous and playing with his fingernails. Riku noticed this and sighed.
"Why did you come?" Riku asked, not looking at Sora. Sora jumped slightly not expecting Riku to talk first. He glanced over at Riku slowly.
"I... I thought we should talk." Sora said.
"We've been talking all day."
"I know, but I haven't said what I should have said." Sora said, looking down at his hands in his lap. Riku looked over to Sora.
"What should you have said?"
"I... I was lying. A lot of what you said was the truth. You described me perfectly and I didn't like that. Not so much because it means you understand me, but because you were making me look at myself. And maybe I don't like that fact that you can see all that in me, but you see all that and you still love me. Right?"
Sora needed to hear it, he needed to know Riku loved all of him and not just parts of him. He needed to know that Riku could and would accept him even with all his faults.
"Yes." Riku said. His answer was simply, but it was enough.
"And you were right when you said I did know you were telling the truth. I just felt like if I admitted that then I was letting you off too easy. It hurt me really bad to hear about the game. It hurt me to think I meant nothing to you. So I couldn't just let it go, because I was scared of getting hurt more. But by not admitting that I believed you, it was like saying I'm going to hurt you back. That's not okay, though. I don't want to hurt you." Sora looked up at Riku who was still looking at him.
"I watched you walk away from me three times today, and that hurt worse than anything. Seeing your back as you walked away, knowing the reasons you were going, and wanting so much for you not to. Because as you walked away from me it was like I was losing you completely and I don't want that."
"What do you want Sora? Right now I really don't understand what it is you want? Are you wanting to know that I love you? I do. That I want to be with you? I do. That I am sorry for playing that stupid game in the first place? I'm not so sure I am."
"What?"
"Because that is what brought us closer to each other. Maybe I wouldn't tried to get to know you if it wasn't for that or maybe I would have anyway. I don't know. I know that I am sorry I hurt you though."
"I see. You asked what I should have said, I should have said I really love you too. And I really don't want to lose you." Sora said.
Riku sat there taking in what Sora had said. He had to ask himself whether or not he had just heard Sora right. Had Sora really just said he loved him too? But the look on Sora's face showed him that he had heard him right. Riku moved closer to Sora and pulled him to him, wrapping his arms around him.
"Sora, you wouldn't have lost me completely because I wasn't going to give up on you ever." Riku said as he ran his fingers through Sora's hair. Sora pulled away just enough to be able to look at Riku's face.
"You probably would have gotten tired of putting up with my crap eventually and given up." Sora said.
"Not a chance. I wasn't going to give up on the only person I have ever loved. No matter how much it hurt me to wait it out." Riku smiled and moved closer to Sora so that their lips were almost touching. "And now that you have told me that you love me too, you're stuck with me. I'm not going to let you go."
Riku's breath on Sora's lips tickle and he giggled a little, "Stuck with you, huh? I'm just fine with that."
"Just fine?" Riku asked, his eyebrow going up. "That's all? Just fine?"
Sora smiled, "I'm great with that. I'm very happy with that. I'm-"
Sora was cut off as Riku closed the distance between their lips bringing Sora into a passionate kiss. Riku nipped at Sora's bottom lip getting Sora to open his mouth to deepen the kiss. He ran his tongue over every part of Sora's mouth he could reached. He loved the taste of Sora. Riku broke the kiss leaving both of them breathless. He smiled at Sora and Sora was happy it wasn't a smirk like he normally saw on Riku.
"Riku? Does this make you my boyfriend?" Sora asked, he wanted to be sure.
"Yes. So no more looking like you're going to kiss someone else." Riku said, causing Sora to smile. It was the smile Riku had been waiting to see.
"Right, no more of that. You're the only one I want to kiss anyway." Sora moved to kiss Riku again, but was stopped by a knock on the door. Riku didn't look to happy about getting interrupted but got up to answer the door anyway. Axel and Roxas were standing at the door, looks of concern on their faces.
"Something wrong?" Riku asked.
"Where's Sora?" Axel asked, ignoring the question Riku had asked.
"In the living room. Why?"
"We need to get going home. Since Sephiroth hasn't been caught yet, his dad has him on a strict curfew." Axel explained. He noticed the look of disappointment on Riku's face. "That doesn't mean you can't come over, he just needs to get home. I'm sure you understand."
"Yeah, I do. I'll go get him. Is Roxas going over?" Riku asked, eying the two. Axel pulled Roxas closer to him and grinned. Riku got the picture. Turning away from the new couple, he returned to where he had left Sora.
"Come on, love, we are going to your place."
"My place? How come?" Sora said, then remembered about the time and his curfew. "Oh, right, I forgot. You're going to come too?"
Riku slid his arms around Sora and pulled him closer. Moving towards his ear he answered in a low voice.
"Yes, we were just getting started. I'm looking forward to continuing." Riku's warm breath in Sora's ears drove him crazy. He took Riku's hand in his and led him to the front door. In his mind, the sooner they got to his house the better.
Axel and Roxas disappeared down the hallway as soon as they made it to the house. Sora watched them walk away happy to see that things were going well with the two of them. He wanted his friends to be happy. After they were gone Sora looked over to Riku and smiled a warm smile that reached his eyes. It was the most beautiful smile Riku had ever seen.
Riku led them into the living room. Riku sat down next to Sora on the couch pulling the other into his arms. Riku made his way back to Sora's ear, licking and biting softly as he placed soft kisses. He heard the quiet moan that escaped Sora's lips as he worked his way down to his neck. After spending some time on the neck, he gently pulled Sora's face to his, covering the smaller ones mouth with his own. Riku felt Sora's hand running through his hair and deepened the kiss. Riku's own hands roamed Sora's face, neck, and upper body.
"Ri...ku, not here. Bedroom." Sora said, his voice breathy. Riku didn't need to be told twice. Standing up, he pulled Sora up to him and kissing him again slowly led him to Sora's bedroom.
Sora smiled in his seemingly drunken state and pulled Riku over to his bed with him. He giggled when he fell backwards onto the bed pulling Riku on top of him. Sora hadn't realized they were that close to the bed. Riku quickly quieted the giggling brunet with another deep kiss. This time his hands roamed lower earning him more moans from Sora.
Riku stopped to pull off Sora shirt and proceeded to place kisses on Sora's chest and neck. His fingers lightly traced around one of Sora's nipples causing Sora to moan again. Riku ran his hand across Sora's chest heading to the other nipple, lightly brushing his fingertips across Sora's skin as he did. Moving away from his lips, Riku kissed down Sora's neck, nipping a few places as he moved further down the soft body of his little lover below him. He wanted to kiss him every where. He wanted to taste more and more of Sora. He wanted to hear the moans that Sora let out for him. He had never wanted anyone so much in his life.
Sora loved the feel of Riku's hands and lips all over his body. The pleasure his touches gave him sent him soaring. He couldn't get enough. Sora felt as if his whole body was on fire as Riku finally entered him. Wave after wave of pleasure ripple through his body. The passionate kisses that pushed him over the edge as he cried out his love's name. Followed by Riku's breathless moans of his name.
Riku collapsed beside Sora, pulling him to his own body as he worked to catch his breath. Sora snuggled into Riku completely exhausted. He felt Riku brush the hair away from his fore head and place a soft kiss on it.
"I love you, Sora. That was amazing." Riku said, his voice just above a whisper. Sora smiled as he closed his eyes.
"I love you too. Yeah, it was amazing." Riku felt Sora nod slowly and then heard his breathing change as Sora fell asleep. Riku smile to himself and nuzzled his face slightly in Sora's hair before falling asleep himself.
Riku awoke the next morning as the sun was rising, its first rays of light coming through the blinds on the window. He shielded his eyes for a moment until he was adjusted to the light. Pulling himself up slightly, he looked beside him to see Sora still asleep in his arms. Riku just sat holding him, not wanting to wake the sleeping brunet. Sora looked so peaceful to him as he slept. Riku ran his fingers through Sora's hair thinking how nice it felt.
Sora stirred slightly as Riku ran a finger down his cheek, but didn't wake up. He was amazed at how soft Sora's skin was, almost silk like. He held in a chuckle as a small pout formed on Sora's lips. Sora's lips that were so kissable, that tasted so good. Sora's lips that he wanted to kiss again and again. He would if he wasn't afraid it would wake him up.
Riku didn't know how long he sat there just watching Sora sleep and he didn't care. He was with Sora and that was all that mattered, even if he was asleep. Sora stirred again and his eyes slowly opened. He pulled his hand up to his face rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up more.
"Riku, you're still here." Sora said, sleep still heavy in his voice.
"Yeah, did you think I wouldn't be?"
"I wasn't sure, but I hoped you would be. I thought you might have left." Sora said. Riku thought Sora's voice sounded a little sad. He pulled Sora up to him and held him in his arms.
"I'm not going anywhere, Sora. I told you you're stuck with me. I love you." Riku said, kissing Sora's head. Sora smiled at the kiss.
"I love you too." Sora answered. He let Riku hold him, loving the warmth from his boyfriends embrace. Sora rested his head on Riku's chest as his mind wandered. For the first time in a long time he felt that everything was going to be all right. Life didn't seem so bad when he was with Riku. And even if Sephiroth was still out there some where he didn't feel as scared with Riku by his side. He had people around him that cared about him, all of him. Those people were looking out for him, he knew that. And what's more, he hadn't lost Axel. Yes, there relationship was different, they were only friends now, but he would still be there. Sora was also happy that Axel had found someone that he wanted to be with as well.
Sora could feel it inside that this was a turning point for him. Things were going to change, but he wasn't scared of that change anymore. He wouldn't be alone. He would be with Riku. Always with Riku.
The End
I decided to end it here, leaving a few things open. Manga writers do that all the time. The main thing that was left open was with Sephiroth, he was still out there. I figured I would leave it to you all to decide for yourself what happened with him. I didn't want to write him getting caught and sent to prison or having a shoot out with the police, or in his case, he would attack them with his sword. Anyway, decide for yourself. Hope you enjoyed the story, I have enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you thought of the ending. Thank you everyone. You are all wonderful. See you next story!