It's been one heck of a ride and all I can say is thank you for joining me on it, it's been emotional.
I've made you wait long enough for this so a more detailed A/N will be posted at the end so if you fancy hearing me rant then have a read, ill also say a little something about the collab that's planned.
Ive been over this a thousand times but no doubt there are still some mistakes.
I send you all Love, Hope and Peace.
Enjoy xx
Final Chapter
Feel It
"Hi….I'm ridiculously in love with you"
"Emily?"
They stand only a few feet apart but to Emily it could have felt like they were on other sides of the world. Naomi still hadn't said anything, her expression still the same, shocked. It was almost impossible to read whether she was actually at all happy to see her standing on the other side of the door and that scared her more than anything.
A few moments feels like a life time before Emily breaks the silence, no longer being able to handle the suspense any longer.
She closes her eyes "Please say something Naomi" she opens her eyes slowly just in time to see Naomi shake herself out of her daze.
"W-What are you doing here?"
She fights not to close her eyes again when Naomi speaks; her voice is something she's been longing to hear since the moment she walked away from her in that garden.
She lets out a small chuckle "Why do you think I'm here Naomi?" she doesn't know why she keeps saying the girls name but hearing it roll from her lips gives her butterflies and make her want to reach out and just close the remaining distance between them. But she can't because Naomi isn't saying much or doing much and each passing second is killing her slowly.
The red head goes to speak again but is quickly stopped "No" the blonde says quickly and it startles her, she even takes a few steps back. The blonde grabs something off the table beside her before shuffling through the door "Not here" she continues.
"What?"
"Whatever you've got to say I don't want it said in some room. This whole thing started behind closed doors and whatever you've got to say I want it said outside, in the open" its frantic the way Naomi says it so she doesn't even think of protesting, she feels quite the opposite actually, its fucking sweet and romantic and probably sums up the many reasons why she's so in love with the blonde.
"Okay" she whispers following the blondes lead through the house.
They pass by Anthony on the way through; he gives her a sly wink before pretending to be reading some papers. She continues to follow Naomi through the house; it's so warm and inviting with pictures of different places within New Zealand that she can't wait to visit. They walk down a small hallway before going through the kitchen and out the back door
She can smell the ocean before she hears or sees it, it smells the same as it does back home, she isn't sure why she thought it would smell any different. The wind is blowing in off the ocean, it's warm and soft. She glances at Naomi seeing the breeze brushing past her causing her blonde locks to flow in the wind revealing her pale neck. She looks breath taking; she could watch her forever.
She takes the last few steps until she's standing beside Naomi looking out at the ocean, watching each wave as it crashes against the shore. It makes her smile, the ocean always did that too her. The stars are shining brightly and its making her slightly dizzy looking at them all because of her constant travelling and the fact she hasn't slept yet at all, yet being stood here next to Naomi finally, knowing that she is living and breathing in the same small part of the world makes her eyes almost want to shut and allow herself to enjoy this moment. It's a shame the blonde has other ideas.
"What are you doing here Emily?" she asks, her voice cracking making her sound almost as vulnerable as she did when the red head last saw her at her hen party.
She doesn't answer straight away; it's an ordinary question yet it deserves so much more than just a simple answer, she deserves so much more.
She remembers how Naomi completely poured her heart out to her; let all her walls completely down at her hen party. How vulnerable Naomi looked, the blonde didn't even need to utter any words because her eyes screamed every single one.
How she still said 'no' was beyond her but she remembers what she said, how her voice sounded completely defeated. Now her fears and her demons seem so trivial, especially now she's stood next to the woman she loves who thinks she wasn't strong enough to be proud and accept their love.
She clears her throat taking a step forward so she's parallel to the blonde; she stares out at the ocean allowing the calm atmosphere to wash over her.
Her mind races; sentences flow in front of her eyes. The words blur into each other: Sorry, forgiveness, love. Yet when it comes to it no words seem to form coherent sentences that can possibly explain the full extent of how she feels to the blonde; no words would truly do her justice. So she turns to face the blonde, relieved when Naomi mimics her a second later. She knows her eyes will probably portray a thousand words.
She smiles at Naomi, watching her blonde fringe flutter slightly in Naomi's eyes. Her hand reaches forward before her brain has comprehended the movement. The blonde flinches when their skin comes into contact, it's almost like Naomi didn't believe she was truly stood right there only a few centimetres in front of her.
Her palm rests flat against Naomi's cheek; the blonde's eye flutter shut for only a second until that intense stare is back on her demanding answers.
She knows Naomi's mind is probably battling with different thoughts.
It's time now, she knows, it's not fair to make Naomi wait any longer despite the fact she just wants to allow the feeling of the blonde so close for a few more seconds.
She clears her throat.
"I've never been brave" She starts "Never in my entire life if you can believe that. I've always been one of those individuals that stand on the line and watch everyone else cross it; Katie even bloody James. I suppose I never liked the idea of being exposed like that, have people expect things from me that I might struggle to do. So I stayed put and watched everyone else be brave. Maybe it's because of Katie, I always knew she was next to me so I didn't have to worry about standing out or maybe it's because I'm terrified of what people would think of me if they found out I'm not so much like Katie as they first thought" she clears her throat "So when I met JJ and everyone seemed to like him I mixed up love with approval. I didn't realise I had until I met you and from one fucking glance I realised I had no idea what love was or how it feels. What I had with JJ was friendship not a relationship and definitely not a marriage"
She can see Naomi's discomfort when talking about JJ. Still unsure whether her words are giving the desired effect she continues.
"Naomi you made me feel things I didn't even know existed, it's like you set me alight the first time you touched me and I've been burning ever since. I thought the flames would burn out but they haven't. I love you and I know I do because my heart beats a thousand times a second, my stomach does flips every time I look into your eyes and all I want to do is be with you"
Naomi eyes look away for a second and it almost makes her knee's give way "But you knew you this before yet you still went to the alter, you still got in your wedding dress"
It's a fair point and it almost cripples her when Naomi's voice breaks at the end.
"I know Nai but I was scared, I'm not scared anymore. I was terrified of what it meant if I allowed myself to be with you, that the perfect little life I had created for myself would be destroyed and I would be left with nothing but an infatuation, but I was wrong because I wasn't living nor is what I feel an infatuation. I love you Naomi Campbell and I'm ready to take the risk with you, I'm ready to cross the line"
As soon as the last word passes through her lips she feels like a new woman; it's a huge moment in her life. She's finally admitted that she's different; different from Katie and the image her parents have of her without an audience. She believes it herself now and despite her mother's disapproval she's ready to embrace her new life, the only downfall would be if Naomi wasn't ready to do that with her.
A tear streaks down her cheek and she's relieved when she sees the same on the blondes. They share a moment before giggling slightly "Wow, that speech was almost as good as mine" Naomi jokes.
"Cheeky, but also true, yours deserved an Oscar"
They giggle for a few more seconds before they quieten down and Naomi looks at her in such a way that it makes her heart flip and her mouth go dry.
Then a thought dawns on her.
"Hold on how did you know I went to the wedding?"
Naomi sighs "I got a pleasant text from Cook telling me that he knows the truth"
She remembers the defeated look in his eyes and JJ's, it haunts her "Shit I forgot about that"
The blonde shrugs "its okay, I should have been honest with him"
Naomi feeling guilty doesn't seem right to the red head "You were, you left him instead of dragging him into our mess"
"Mess?"
"You know what I mean" she says nudging the blonde who smirks "I on the other hand did the dishonourable thing and dragged a sweet guy all the way through it then left him at the alter"
Naomi grabs her shoulder, she tries to ignore the bolts of electricity shooting through her arm "Hold on I thought you just didn't turn up?"
Shit.
"No…I…I went"
She seems confused "When did you tell him the truth?"
Shit.
"After I said 'I object'" she braces herself closing her eyes, yet when she doesn't hear anything for a few moments she cracks and eye open to see Naomi burst out laughing. She lets out the breath she didn't think she was holding to join in.
The blonde struggles to get the words out "Christ were you auditioning to be in Eastenders?"
"I know, probably the most dramatic way to do it" she answers embarrassed.
Naomi seems to think for a moment "Wow so you really did leave it to the last minute"
She places her hand on Naomi's shoulder "I know that sounds awful but it had to happen the way it did Naoms"
The blonde sighs "I know. You're too sweet of a person to intentionally hurt anyone"
"Yet I did" she says ashamed remember JJ's face as the words fell from her lips.
"We both did" Naomi reassures.
Its feels strange being stood in front of the blonde with the warm sea air brushing past them on a foreign island; an island she's only ever dreamt of visiting. Naomi brought every bit of strength out of her, made her believe in herself.
She owes everything to the blonde but she knows she's already repaid her in the best way possible. By admitting her love and being brave enough to come after her.
The exhaustion from over two days of travelling finally hits her; she can feel her eyes getting heavier. She knows it's because she feels content, she's within an arm's reach of Naomi and despite knowing that everything Is okay, it's enough for her to relax for the first time in days.
Naomi seems to sense the change and turns to face Emily "Are you okay? You must have been travelling for days?"
She smiles lazily "You're a hard one to catch"
The blonde smiles "Come on, let's go to my room"
It didn't take them long to reach Naomi's room. It wasn't a very big room; it matched the rest of the house. It had a small bathroom with a bath and toilet; the bed was king size. It was the first thing her eyes landed on and she's sure Naomi saw. She hadn't thought about the sleeping arrangements, despite wanting to jump on Naomi and show her in a more physical way how she was hers and hers only but it did seem a bit too soon, too fragile. Yet at the same time the thought of the blonde being away from her wasn't even an option.
"Why don't you take a bath? Freshen up then we can watch some TV in bed?" Naomi suggested as she placed her mobile and room key on the bed side table.
"That sounds fantastic"
Naomi smiled "I'll start running it for you"
She watched as Naomi left the room, her eyes roamed around noticing Naomi's perfectly folded clothes in the corner sat on a chair beside her suitcase that had what she presumed an organised mess laying within. She heard the blonde humming in the bath room as she run the bath and it made her close her eyes and pretend that they were living together back in Bristol. The whole domesticity of it all seemed overwhelming, she almost wanted to cry with joy but didn't knowing it would probably look a bit full on in front of the blonde which reminded her of the doubt she felt when she was still with her fiancé and thought of Naomi.
What if she didn't want that? To eventually live with her and share their lives? What if this was all just a fun experiment? Did she still love Cook? What if she decided that this was all nonsense and she went back to men? Did this mean they were gay? Was she gay? Was Naomi gay?
Fucking hell.
"Stop thinking" a voice shot across the room, it wasn't harsh but it was firm.
"Sorry"
Naomi walks across the room and perches herself on the edge of the bed before patting the area beside her for Emily to sit. As the red head sits Naomi places her hand upon hers.
"I know everything seems so crazy at the moment but let's just be us tonight yeah? Despite it feeling like the beginning let's just sit in our bubble for tonight until we figure this all out?"
"Sounds perfect"
"Good" Naomi says before standing "Now no more thinking otherwise I'll be forced to thump you Fitch"
She laughs "I swear that's called assault? You're meant to be an officer of the law"
"Meh, I'm in a different country it should be alright. No one has to know"
"Domestic abuse then"
She calls from the bathroom "You wish Fitch"
And she did. Just the thought of living with the blonde gave her butterflies. Without thinking of all the negative things, waking up next to Naomi every morning was definitely something she couldn't see herself getting bored of ever.
She relaxed in the bath for a while, allowing her body to soak in the water and soap. She tried not to think about the blonde on the other side; she didn't want to worry herself over what Naomi was thinking. The uncertainty was definitely something that she hated; despised in fact and the sooner they talked thoroughly the better.
It wasn't long before she was walking back into the bedroom with only a towel wrapped around her small frame. She noticed the way the blondes eyes danced up her body, how they sucked her all in before resting on her own eyes. She loved the effect she had on the blonde, the way it made her core burn and her heart race. These were the feelings Naomi had sparked from deep within her.
Fuck the world, fuck her parents.
She was stupid to ever think she could withstand this. Withstand Naomi.
"Like what you see?" she purred with confidence watching as Naomi takes a large gulp.
Naomi smiles "You're beautiful"
It takes her off guard. Her confidence is suddenly gone and the nerves and anxiety are back. That sentence has always been said to Katie, despite the fact that her fiancé tried his hardest to tell her every day hearing it from the blonde hits home.
"You don't believe me when I say that do you?" Naomi asks as she stands from the bed closing the distance between them.
Words won't form so she shakes her head feeling her mouth go dry and her stomach flutter from the decreasing distance between them.
"You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen" Naomi finishes just as her eyes fall to the floor. She's never been good with accepting compliments. Naomi gently touches her chin bringing her eyes back to her level "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you realise that"
Naomi has made her feel like the most wanted woman in the world when they were fucking; the way her eyes drank her in and her hands clawed at her skin as if she needed it to survive but right now when she's got nothing but a towel protecting her it's hard to believe her and hearing the blonde declare that she wants to live the rest of her life trying to make her see that is overwhelming.
She fights the tears threatening to fall; now is not a time to be weak.
"I love you Naomi" she says with such determination.
Naomi smiles and nods "I know"
"Do you? I mean I haven't shown you much reason to believe it"
"Emily you're here, you followed me to the other side of the world! You need to stop doubting yourself"
She stands looking into the blue oceans before her; See's the way the bedroom light flickers off them.
"I love you too" Naomi responds.
She doesn't think when she does it, just steps forward and locks her lips with the blonde. It's like an electrical currently flows between them because before long she lets go of her towel and wraps her arms around Naomi. She squeezes her tight ignoring the need for air or the fact that she is now standing completely naked.
She's brave, Naomi has made her brave.
Naomi drags her tongue slowly across her lips; she doesn't even hesitate before granting her access. Their tongues make love as her arms try to bring the blonde impossibly closer. It's like they are trying to ignore all logic, like she can almost make them become one.
Naomi moans into the kiss causing her centre to almost flood with desire. She's missed feeling Naomi so close, having her in her arms and allowing her to make her whole world seem to trivial.
It isn't long before air becomes an up most need and it's like they've been stung as they both take a step back panting, their eyes never leaving the others.
All that can be heard is their heavy breathing and the waves crashing outside.
It's almost like they are back in their bubble only despite being in a small secluded room they aren't. It's just them now, no boyfriends, and no other lovers. Just Naomi and Emily at the edge of all reason.
She realises how vulnerable she is as she glances down at her naked flesh. Her breasts and vagina are completely on show yet she doesn't attempt to hide them because it would seem like a backwards step.
So she stands strong, her back straight daring the blonde to do otherwise.
Her breathing finally starts to even. Naomi smirks and Emily has to fight not to walk straight over there are wipe the smirk off with her lips. It's like a statement her standing their right now completely naked and fragile. It's a fresh start and her wearing nothing screams that she has nothing left to hide.
This is me.
Naomi takes a step forward and gives her a small kiss upon the lips, her hand rests upon the red heads cheek as they both take a deep breath through their noses.
The blonde steps back allowing some distance between them before starting on the buttons to her cardigan. Once open she lets it fall to the floor before removing her tank top revealing her bright red bra. As its thrown she begins to unbutton her jeans, each button is opened and its almost agonising for Emily as her heart beats a thousand thumps a minute and her legs try to control the burning between them.
She watches as Naomi steps out of her jeans throwing them to the side knocking over her neatly pilled clothes.
Naomi is just in her bra and pants now, they're a matching set. She looks breath taking.
It's not enough though; and Naomi knows that.
There's something beautiful about watching the person you love strip their layers right in front of you. She wants so badly to reach out but she knows it would defeat the meaning of what is happening right now.
She knows what Naomi is saying.
That's you and this is me. There is nothing left to hide, either love me completely or leave me.
She watches as the blonde removes her knickers agonisingly slowly, her muscles tense as she stops herself from moving closer. Naomi smirks and licks her lips as they fall to the floor before snaking her arm round the back and unleashing her bra with one flick of the wrist. She holds it there for a moment teasing the red head before allowing her arms to throw it to the floor.
They then both stood there, naked, vulnerable and in love.
Nothing else mattered, no threat of others, no threat of diseases or other factors that could tear them apart. It's just them, against the edge of reason, in love and together.
"Naomi…" begins but the blonde shakes her head taking a step forward.
"Don't say anything Em"
It brings a tear to her eyes because there is no more pressure, no more hopelessness making her feel guilty for the way her heart swoon for the blonde.
Naomi steps forward caressing her cheek causing her eyes to involuntarily close "Just show me babe"
That was all it took before the gap was gone between them. Caresses, kisses, licks, bites and moans.
It wasn't about sex this time, a release. It was so much more, this time they were making love, exploring each other's bodies as lovers. With all the unanswered questions floating around the room trying to drive them apart they fought on for their love and devotion for one another.
She could feel every touch, it was like Naomi was setting fire to her skin and leaving burn marks. It was devastating yet absolutely beautiful because she knew that Naomi would be the death of her. Her heart was completely held by the blonde and if Naomi chose not to adore and cherish it she'd give up on love because it wouldn't exist. It couldn't possibly exist.
She could feel her arousal getting stronger with every nip and tug the blonde did, every brush of Naomi's thigh against her throbbing centre.
"I need you Naomi" she begged, tightening her hold on the blonde, allowing her fingernails to graze her pale toned skin.
Naomi kissed the length of her neck rocking against her "I want you so bad Emily" she moaned and it was almost enough for her to climax.
"Show me how bad" she whispered.
"No" Naomi suddenly said causing Emily to whip her head round to look in her eyes, her heart beating as the nerves began to erupt.
"Wwhat?"
"Sorry" she said shaking her head "It just sounded like all the other times. Emily I don't want to show you how bad I want you, I want to show you how much I love you"
If there were moments in your life you wish you could just collect together and throw into your jewellery box, now was that moment for Emily. She knew then why she loved the blonde so much, why her heart sent out signals for her or why her hands always seemed to linger in the air waiting for the blonde to touch her.
"Then show me" she whispered, feeling a lone tear roll down her cheek and land on the blondes hand just above her heart.
And she did, show her.
Every touch was magnifying, every kiss sent an electric pulse to her heart.
It was devastatingly beautiful.
And in the moment the blonde took her over the edge she knew that she was completely in love with her.
She fell asleep that night hearing her lover whisper sweet nothings.
;;
The next morning she woke up in a bit of a daze but content. She could still hear the waves crashing at the shore signalling a new day. She stretched in the bed yawning before reaching over to seek the blonde, trying to be careful not to wake her.
Her hand reached over as her eyes remain closed, it isn't until they come into contact with cool fabric that they shot open. She looks over to see Naomi's side of the bed empty, that's when everything hits her at once, the doubt, the hopelessness and uncertainty. It's too much and before she knows it she's sat up in bed crying in the middle of a country she doesn't know on her own.
Had last night not meant anything to the blonde? Was it Naomi's way of saying good bye your too late?
"Naomi" she whispered into the empty room. It looked so different in the morning light, the sun shone through the window lighting a part of the bed and Naomi's now complete mess of clothes. She looked around the room noticing their attire from last night thrown in different place, it was like a painting, the clothes the paint and the floor its canvas. It marked an epic point in history for them last night and she was terrified to think that the blonde may have not felt the same.
All the un answered question that were floating around them last night as they were making love came crashing down around her.
They laid spawn across the bed in front of her, the only problem was she had no one to answer them for her because Naomi was gone.
Her silence promises seemed unjustified now. That was until she heard the door click open causing her to cover her naked flesh.
Naomi.
She shuffles into the room seemingly unaware of the shaken red head on the bed. She starts to take off her clothes leaving a thin inner layer on before sitting on the bed, it isn't until she turns around after removing her socks that she yelps at the two eyes intently staring at her.
"Fuck Emily, I didn't realise you were awake" she tries to explain but it doesn't stop the words that pore out of Emily's mouth.
"Are you already regretting what happened last night?"
Naomi eye brows raise "Blimey" she chokes suddenly "No, shit I didn't mean to scare you it's just nicotine was demanding my attention"
"You smoke?"
The blonde shrugs "Apparently I do now"
"Well that won't do" she mocks.
Naomi smirks shifting onto all fours on the bed before crawling towards her "Oh really?"
Emily nods "Yes that will be the first thing to go" it seems dangerous to suggest such a thing but the relief of her being close again was giving her confidence.
"Fitch are you trying to put me under the thumb?" Naomi smiles raising her eye brows.
"Scared?" she raises an challenging eye brow in return.
"Terrified"
;;
They eat breakfast outside on a crooked picnic bench by the beach. Anthony saw them outside just sitting enjoying each other's silent company both too scared to begin firing unanswered questions; so to give them the strength for the day he brought them both a good old fashioned English fry up. They both laughed making comments about how English tradition still followed them all the way out here.
"My god that was lovely, definitely what the doctor ordered" Emily said slapping her now full stomach.
Naomi giggles drinking through the straw of her orange juice "I doubt the doctor would suggest such an unhealthy breakfast"
"True but don't ruin my moment Naoms" she says leaning forward wiping her mouth with the napkin.
The suns beating down against her skin; she didn't even think to put sun cream on and she can already feel her bare shoulders and back in her tank top burning. She touches the skin on her arm seeing her hand print left behind as her skin slowly turns from white to a slight shade of red.
Naomi seems to notice her shuffling around and looks at her concerned.
"You okay? You ate your food pretty quick so I'm not surprised if you're feeling sick" she says turning slightly in her chair.
"Cheeky, no I just didn't think to put any sun cream on, have you?"
She laughs "Yeah I put some on after my shower"
"Thanks for the heads up"
"Sorry hun I just thought it was common sense, yano different country, hotter climate" Naomi jokes nudging her slightly.
She tries to glance at her shoulders seeing the redder tinge to them "Christ I didn't bloody think, JJ was always the one to remember these kinds of things"
It just spills from her mouth before she thinks; she feels Naomi tense beside her. She doesn't turn her head until she feels Naomi relax slightly. She turns around bracing herself "Sorry, it's probably still too fresh to mention their names"
Their names being the two men that they once loved.
Naomi shakes her head "No, don't be silly. They were both a big part of our lives, it's stupid to try and pretend we never had feelings for them. I'm not going to deny that it doesn't turn me slightly into the green eyed monster though"
"It's adorable to think of you all jealous"
"pfft, it's not the most pleasant way to be"
The guilt fills her again when she imagines what she must have put the blonde through still being with JJ all that time "I'm sure it wasn't. But if it makes you feel better I was feeling the same way about you and Cook"
"I suppose we can only see that as a good sign" Naomi finishes and the silence falls upon them again. They don't move, just stare contently at each other, the unanswered questions banging against their perfect bubble. It was nice but the lack of actual conversation about what they really needed to discuss was starting to bother the red head.
They needed to make things clear, simple.
It was starting to drive her crazy.
"Fancy a dip in the sea?"
Yet the idea of Naomi in a bikini seemed to overcome all her worries.
"Yes please, if just to cool down!"
Naomi laughs "Let's get you some sun cream first"
;;
It isn't until later on in the evening when their walking along the beach after dinner that Emily finds herself in the perfect situation to ask all her questions. The day had been perfect, they'd enjoyed each other's company, kissed almost a million times (which never got boring, she felt like a little teenager again) and even spoken slightly about how to spend their next week and a bit together. Yet the pressure of knowing what they were or what they both wanted was becoming too agonisingly painful for her.
The pressure was building and she knew if she didn't ask she would lose it. She needed to know that the blonde wanted what she did, that everything she had thrown away had been worth it (despite the fact she knows this would have all climaxed eventually with or without Naomi no doubt)
It was too much and she swung around trying to say something but it came out all bundled together and she's sure she almost choked on her own spit it was that desperate. Naomi looks at her slightly startled yet sporting a smirk at Emily's expense so she clears her throat and starts again.
"Sorry; I just can't keep not thinking anymore Nai. I need to know what this is, what we are" she says signalling between them.
Naomi smiles and signals for them to keep walking "I've been trying to conjure up the best way to start this conversation since we started walking but I couldn't think of the right thing to say"
"I'm sure whatever way you chose would have had a better result than mine" she jokes trying to lighten the mood yet wishes she hadn't because this was a serious subject they were about to tackle.
They walk for a few more minutes, she knows Naomi is probably still wondering how she's going to explain all the thoughts going through her head.
She's nervous.
"Emily" Naomi begins softly as usual her eyes close at the sound of her own name upon the blonde's lips "I know you want me to stand here and declare to you that I will love you forever…" she says.
Emily's sure her heart almost stops "But" she croaks
"I can't do that. I'm not stupid enough to make a promise like that"
"That's not very optimistic of you" she says feeling deflated.
Naomi shrugs "I suppose it's just the cynic inside of me"
It all seems so pointless now she's starting to get her answer. Naomi doesn't want the same things as her.
"Okay well I'm glad it's clear now that I've travelled across the world for you to tell me that what we have is just a bit of fun" she says, trying to prevent her voice from breaking as her fragile heart struggles to stay together.
"Shit no Emily I didn't mean it like that" Naomi says making them stop, she looks around her feet kicking the sand slightly before sitting down. Emily's thankful because she isn't sure her knee would have kept her upright for much longer as her world seems to tumble around her.
Emily sniffs, her head running a mantra through it.
Your brave now, don't cry, brave, don't cry"
Yet she can't help but wish Katie was here, or even worse her mum. She'll never get that kind of maternal comfort anymore, not while she chooses to live this way. Yet with the blonde breaking her heart beside her she's can't help but feel it was all for nothing.
Looks like she wasn't going to get her fairy tale ending after all.
"I don't want to promise you that because I'd hate to think that there'd come a day I'd break it"
It's then that Emily realised how silly she was being. She was acting like a teenage girl on a first date with a boy trying to get him to declare his denying love for her.
"Christ I'm sorry. This has all been so new and overwhelming I'm turning into a bunny boiler" she laughs feeling embarrassed.
Naomi shifts closer, feeling the blonde leaning into her is enough to comfort her "Don't be sorry. If anything hearing you be so optimistic about us is comforting and a relief. Whatever you're thinking or feeling just be reassured I'm probably feeling the same. I mean where do you see this going?"
It's an easy question yet she doesn't have an answer. She now sees where Naomi is coming from.
"I don't know Nai. All I know is I want you in my life and hopefully for a very long time"
"I want that too" Naomi almost whispers and it sends chills down her spine.
They share a delicate kiss, no longer being able to stand being so far apart.
Everything seems to fall into place then.
Maybe they'll last forever, maybe they'll argue over who does the washing up or who puts the rubbish out early in the morning before the bin men arrive. Maybe they'll both love trashy TV or share salted popcorn over a movie. Maybe they'll have children or become lost in their old fashioned ways. Maybe they'll get married and divorce at 40 or dance like loony's on their 70th wedding anniversary. Maybe her mother will attend her wedding or maybe she'll be by her mother's death bed and still watch as she disapproves her life style.
What she does know is she's happy right now and having the blonde besides her looking at her with such love and devotion is enough to put her nerves at ease.
"You know yesterday was the first time you told me you loved me?" the blonde says looking directly into her eyes.
It shocks her because in her mind she said it almost every day since she realised.
Emily smiles "I think I've loved you from the moment you told me or maybe even a little bit before" She looks at the sea quickly before looking back "I should have told your sooner"
Naomi shakes her head "No, it was actually sort of perfect opening my door and hearing you say it. When I left I guess I just came to the conclusion that I'd never get to hear it"
"We should write a novel!" Emily jokes resting her head on Naomi's shoulder, allowing her eyes to close and feel the heat of the lowering sun upon her skin.
Naomi chuckles "It would be a good read. Two young girls in committed relationships take one look at each other and throw their entire lives upside down and it takes a trip around the world and an almost wedding for them to realise that they belong to each other"
"I think you've chosen the wrong career Nai. Oh which reminds me" she begins lifting her head from the crook of Naomi's neck to give the blonde a deep kiss.
"What was that for?"
"Just to say congratulations on your promotion and also I told you so"
Naomi squeezes her "I suppose I owe you then Fitch"
She kisses the blonde "and I can think of a few ways in which you can repay me"
"If you suggesting what I think your suggestion then that's just part of my girlfriend duties"
Girlfriend, how perfect that word sounds coming from the blonde. It makes her beam and Naomi almost blushes at being so open without actually asking. But that's the point, Emily thinks, they're at that age where saying 'will you be my girlfriend' is too trivial. When two people love each other that's enough to declare their upmost devotion to one another.
Whether that lasts their entire lives or not.
"That's true" she answers trying to show that what the blonde just said was normal "I will have to think of something else"
It's almost dark as the last few rays of sunshine light up the horizon; they both sit in silence watching it slowly fall. It's beautiful and it makes them feel like its signalling the end of what has been a very emotional couple of months.
How one person can have such an effect on another is beyond her yet she doesn't regret one moment of it.
Naomi stands brushing the sand off her clothes as she turns to Emily, her hand out stretched "Come on, we have a bottle of wine and a double bed waiting for us in our bedroom"
Our bedroom Emily thinks as she takes the blondes out stretched hand.
"Plus I'm starting to grow on the idea of using sexual favours as a good way to repay you"
Emily laughs brushing herself down "Well you're going to have to go beyond the usual girlfriend sexual favours"
"I think we've experimented quite a bit over the last few months wouldn't you say Ems?" Naomi winks.
Ems she could definitely get used to hearing the blonde say her name like that.
She doesn't even blush at the suggestion; she just winks back taking the blondes hand.
She takes a moment to look at the beauty in front of her, the woman that currently holds her heart. She hates the fact that because Naomi is a girl her mother will never get the chance to get to know her, it's beyond her how someone could throw the chance of getting to know Naomi.
It's her mother's loss yet it still completely pains her to know that right now she doesn't really have a mum anymore.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Naomi says just above a whisper allowing her free hand to stroke her cheek.
She shakes her head "It's nothing really; just my mother didn't really take too well to the idea of me loving a girl"
"She's probably just startled love, besides she hasn't even met me yet, it's hard not to love me" she says with the cheesiest and most adorable smile ever.
Emily laughs "Who are you and what have you done with the pessimist that was here before?"
Naomi tilts her head back laughing and its beautiful, she brings her head back down and allows a small smile to dance across her lips before bringing both her hands up to the red heads cheeks "I promise you that when we get back we'll tackle this problem, together. I don't care what shit we have to go through for people to see that we love each other"
She would have melted into a puddle there and then if she could. She just wished Naomi realised the unstoppable force that was Jenna Fitch, but just knowing that Naomi knew how much this was hurting her was enough for her to fall in love all over again.
"I love you Naomi Campbell"
"I love you Emily Fitch, now come on. I need a drink and to show you just how much I love you"
And that she did, for the whole two weeks they spent in New Zealand.
;;
It wasn't until their toes touched British soil that Emily really started to panic. She'd made a promise to herself that she wasn't going to shy away from the truth, that when someone asked why her relationship with JJ failed she would simply reply 'because I fell in love with someone else' and when they said who she would proudly announce 'Naomi'
She's relieved when she sees Katie standing at the airport arrivals. She's ecstatic when Katie runs up to her and envelops her in a hug and twirls her around like she's been gone for months "I've fucking missed you! Next time take me with you"
They hug for a little bit longer until an uncomfortable cough sounds beside them reminding them of the presence of the blonde. Katie looks a bit uncomfortable to begin with and Naomi struggles to find something to say, she swears right now her heart is in her throat.
The two most important people in her life standing right beside one another.
Katie laughs first breaking the tension "Fucking hell, give us a hug slapper"
And Naomi does.
That's when she knows that everything's going to be okay as she smiles at her lover and sister hugging.
-x- The End –x-
….I actually can't believe it's over. I posted the first chapter of what I presumed was just a silly one shot on the 25th November 2010 and didn't expect to receive the response I did. So really guys, every single one of you that reviewed, alerted or favourted my story should pat yourselves on the back because without that encouragement this would not have happened. I see authors all the time say that the number of reviews they get doesn't affect them but if im honest for me the more of you that reviewed the more inspired I got!
I was going to attempt to write everyone's usernames on here to say thank you for the reviews but after a few seconds i realised how crazy that would have been but I just wanted to high light that even if you weren't a regular reviewer the fact you took the time to review really made my day.
So all I ask is if you have time to give me a few words to explain how the end was? Whether you enjoyed It or even hated it? What you liked that happened during the story or what you wish I hadn't done? Or PM me if you'd like to discuss it, I don't mind.
There are a few people id also like to thank! First off is my good old ranga Christy! Now she does have a FFN username but she bloody hardly ever uses it anymore so im not even sure she will read this but girl! You've become a very good friend over the year or so that we have been talking and you even became my part time Beta at one point and without your encouragement and excitement for each chapter I doubt I would have continued this! So thanks! Love your English Muff!
Then of course there is the beautiful Miss Marauduer ! without her bitch slaps and constant questions of 'hows the writing going?' I really would not have got this ending out! She bugged my ass to get the last few chapters out like I mentioned in my A/Ns and now we've formed this great friendship that I hope we never loose, we like talk every single day without fail. We always say that she's the clever one and im the funny one, so hopefully this collab we have planned will be ace and an enjoyment for you all. Love you Kaz you're the best cyber gf ever!
This story has made me talk to a lot of lovely people over the year and a bit that its been published so im happy to keep writing just for that fact
Now on the collab; I promise you that it is coming. Me and Kaz always said that we didn't want both our stories running when we published it so now mine has finished we can start focussing on it properly and even start writing it! Weve done a lot of planning and have a very solid story line set out, weve done like tables and everything! Ahaha we just want this to be perfect with no mistakes! We'll even have our hand at doing some fan art for the story! So stay tuned!
Add me on twitter if you haven't already because we will be putting up statuses about how we are getting on Emz3009 and Mmekeek (Kaz). Also read Kaz's story manifolds because its ace and because she may put a few mentions on her authors notes there!
Once again thank you! I will be replying to each of your reviews just to say a personal thank you and to answer any questions you may have.
I will now leave this story up for you all to enjoy over and over again. If you wish to use it anywhere please get my permission first, that's all I ask.
Now don't stray too far, I won't ;)
Love and peace.
Emz2009