CHAPTER 20—DECISIONS
Padmé shivered in the damp as Grand Jedi Master Yoda instructed her son. The boy sat on the ground, eagerly absorbing every word from the little, green creature with the large, pointy ears and multiple chins.
As one of the leaders of the Alliance to Restore the Republic, Padmé had visited Dagobah a few times in the last few years. She and Obi-Wan were the only two who knew where Yoda maintained his exile.
She wondered now if she should have brought Anakin here. If he chose the wrong path, then it would not be long before the Emperor, Darth Sidious, would hunt down and kill the ancient Jedi Master.
"Focus, Young Skywalker. Bring your thoughts under control. Focus only on the Force. Feel it move through you and out of you, binding everything around you—me, that tree, this rock, even your mother." Yoda taught with a wisdom that spanned almost a millennium.
Luke's boyish soprano voice flowed with wonder. "It's like ribbons. I do see it. I do feel it." He pulled his hands in, gathering as much as he could.
"Release it now, Young Skywalker. If you have no specific use, free it must be."
The boy flung his hands, tossing it away, but he quickly moaned and howled in pain, rolling into a ball on the ground, holding his knees to his chest. "No!"
Padmé ran over to him, holding her son. "Shh, Luke, it's all right. It's not real." She rubbed his back, trying to get him to focus on anything but the Force-vision. "Luke, open your eyes. It's not real."
Her son thrashed on the ground until Yoda put his hand on the boy's forehead, placing him in a Force-trance. He collapsed into the mud, still but breathing.
"What was that?"
"Anakin. His father's pain the boy feels. Connected are they."
"That's what Anakin is experiencing?"
"And worse. Coming to terms with things he has done." Yoda's face dropped in sadness. "Atrocities these last eight years have filled his life. Atrocities that cannot be reversed. Much terror they have caused."
"He's done them at the command of the Emperor. Master Yoda, Anakin's been under a spell. These last few days, he has not been the same monster that has done those atrocities."
"But those atrocities he has done, spell or not. Shaded his life with darkness have they. The darkness does not want to leave."
"Can you break this spell he is under?"
Yoda shook his head. "Willingly submitted he to the power of the dark side. Willingly must he break free of it."
The Jedi Master moved to Luke, picked up the boy with the Force to move him inside the hut. Padmé followed as Yoda continued.
"If choose the light he does, Padmé, no guarantee that the Alliance will accept him or trust him ever again."
"I understand."
"If stay with him you do, no longer trust you will they either. Or Luke. Or even Leia."
"Only Bail and Breha know she's mine—and Obi-Wan." Padmé bit her top lip, thinking through the implications.
"Maybe only they should ever know."
Yoda covered Luke with a blanket and sat by the fire. He gazed at Padmé. He suddenly bowed his head, closing his eyes, communing with the Force.
"Master Yoda? What's wrong?"
"Deciding he is. Uncertain he is. Afraid he is to leave his master. Afraid his master will hurt you and Luke if he does."
A howl of grief emanated from the ship, reaching Padmé's soul. Even she could feel the anguish and despair. She feared the darkness that overwhelmed him.
Clutching her cloak around her arms, Padmé hurried out of the hut and ran up the ramp to the ship. "Anakin!" When she reached him, she grabbed the hilt of the red blade in his hand. Her small limbs were no match for his strength. "Please, don't. Not this way! I love you, Anakin!"
He stopped his movements and mumbled, "Leave me. This is the only way. If I am gone, then you may have a good life with Luke and Leia. The Emperor will never find you if you stay here with Yoda. He is strong enough to protect you."
"No! Anakin, now that you've come back to me, I can't live without you."
"You don't need an invalid, an evil monster, who has done so many wicked thing . . . I am so ashamed, Padmé," he said with a sob. "It is either continue down this path of evil or not be able to face myself each day knowing what I've done."
She laid her hands on top of his on the lightsaber, holding it with him, the blade extended to his left. "Anakin, you would do this to your son? You would take away his father—the father he loves? It would kill him."
"He doesn't want a father like me. Go run off with Obi-Wan and give him a hero for a father." His statement lost power as he finished.
"Still jealous of Obi-Wan? Anakin, I never loved Obi-Wan, only you. He was our friend—he knew about us for years, and yet he kept our secret from everyone. He even knew you were the father. Without him, Anakin, Luke and Leia would not have survived."
"Yeah, well, he left me to burn in lava, hoping I would die. You left me to burn, Padmé. You ran off with him." Anakin curled up in a ball.
"You're not even making sense now." Padmé wrapped her fingers around Anakin's right thumb, putting pressure on the power switch to the blade. If Anakin had been the least bit resistant, she would have never moved the thumb.
As the blade deactivated, she said, "I was dying, Anakin. I died that day. Master Yoda pulled me back from the netherworld. It almost killed him. Yoda told me that day that he brought me back for you, because you still needed me."
Padmé paused for a moment. "I was so worried about you that day, as I am right now. Anakin, you can't change the past, but we can change the future. We can change the future for Luke and for Leia. But we can't do it without you."
She extricated the lightsaber from his hands and set it on the deck next to them.
Anakin breathed a few cycles, his respirator keeping time with the ship's life support systems. "My Master's bond is too strong."
Padmé called his bluff. "It's not. What's holding you back, Anakin?"
He turned his helmet to her face and bent his head down, looking her in the eye through his red lenses. "The lies. I've been lied to so often I don't even know what is truth anymore. I'm so tired of the lies and the deception. How am I to make a decision based on lies? Even now, you are withholding something from me."
Padmé closed her eyes and bit her lip before she spoke. "You're right."
Anakin jerked his head up quickly at her, his back tensing, lifting an arm toward her as if he might choke her, but he stopped himself.
She grabbed his hand, intertwining her fingers in his. "The truth. I am Padmé Naberrie Amidala Skywalker, and I love you."
He pulled his fingers away, and pointed at her. "Tell me what you are hiding, unless you were lying about Obi-Wan—"
"No, not about Obi-Wan. Never about Obi-Wan." She took a deep breath. "The whole truth. Anakin, I'm not just a handmaiden to the Queen of Naboo."
He lifted his head, leaning in to hear her every word.
"I am also the Nubian Leader of the Rebel Alliance." She winked at him. "I am the spy you're looking for."
"This is no time for games, Padmé."
She tilted her head and smiled, crawling beside the black form sitting on the deck. She wormed her head under his right arm, resting it on his chest. "I'm not playing, Anakin. You captured the spy twenty-four years ago, and my heart has been yours since the day that we met."
Anakin tilted his head down. "You're really the Nubian Rebel Leader?"
"You caught me." Padmé gave him her devastating smile. "Are you going to turn me in?"
"No, of course not, but that does change things." Anakin stroked her hair as he focused his eyes on the bulkhead beyond them. "If I do choose the Jedi Way, will the Rebel Alliance accept me?"
"Probably not."
He looked at the deck, breathing deeply. "What would they do to you and Luke?"
"Ostracize us. Master Yoda has already offered to hide us here."
"And Leia?"
"Only Bail and Breha know she's mine. We wouldn't have to tell anyone. It would be safer for her that way."
Padmé felt his measured breathing and the tension in his torso. "Ani, I've seen a difference in you these last few days. Don't waste this chance. If you stay with the Sith, the Emperor will take Luke, and he will torture me to keep you under control. Is that what you want?"
"I cannot resist my master." Anakin pulled his arm away from her.
His wife sat up, twisting to face him again. "You have to make the decision, Anakin. You willingly chose this path of evil. You must willingly choose to leave it. Only then can Master Yoda help you. If Master Yoda can bring me back from death, don't you think he can protect you from Sidious?"
Anakin sat there, silent except for the twenty breathing cycles that passed.
She remained silent, allowing him to think over the decision he had to make, knowing that if he chose the evil path, she would lose him forever and her son.
He stood up and grabbed his lightsaber. He strode down the loading ramp quickly, heading toward the tiny hut, leaving Padmé in his wake.
Master Yoda stood in front of his door with his small arms crossed over his chest.
Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, knelt in front of Grand Jedi Master Yoda. He placed his red lightsaber in front of Master Yoda on the damp soil.
"I hereby renounce the way of the Sith and my allegiance to the Galactic Empire and Emperor Sheev Palpatine, the Sith Master known as Darth Sidious. I choose the way of the light, knowing that only through it will I find true freedom, not only for myself but also for the rest of the galaxy. I renounce the name Darth Vader and the title Lord of the Sith, reclaiming my true name, Anakin Skywalker, and my true title, The Chosen One. I submit myself to be the servant of the Force to fulfill my destiny—to bring balance to the Force."
Yoda laid his hands on Anakin's shoulders, sending the Force coursing through the large man until an audible snap sounded.
The large man's back relaxed as the binding ties were broken.
"The right decision have you made, Anakin. Only with the combined strength of the surviving Jedi Masters can we eliminate this scourge of evil from the galaxy for good."