Chapter 20: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

My four paws hit the floor running and my senses were overwhelmed. My fox-eyes honed in on unicorn tracks a few metres away and I smelt what felt like a hundred scents at once – Scorpius' intoxicatingly earthy wolfness, Sarah's sweet and feral scent, the dampness of the dead trees and the earthy, soggy smell of the ground. Becky's fainter and more citrusy aroma appeared to me as I neared her and James, who smelled heady and masculine… all my animal senses screamed 'alpha male' when his scent hit me. He is the leader of our weird pack. I don't know why – it wasn't a conscious act on his part. Albus suddenly gave his cool-sounding yelp – a kind of cross between a cat's loud meow and a growl. We trot over to him, as he is stood at the edge of the clearing, nose to the ground.

I put my nose next to his and we look at each other. We don't know this smell. We've never come across whatever creature left this scent. It smells weirdly familiar though… not like I've ever smelt it before, but like I associate this scent with someone. James follows a trail around a tree and pops up the other side in his human form wearing his jeans and no shirt, like he was when he changed.

"Stay as you are you lot. I smell a banshee around here. It has been foggy I suppose." He said, scratching me behind the ears like I was a pet dog.

It is ridiculously nice to be stroked and petted. No wonder cats will lie on your lap for ages, purring. It's nicer than you'd think imaginable, having your big sticky-outy fox ears scratched. Sarah nuzzled up to me, digging her snout into my cheek, trying to get my attention. I followed her to the foot of the tree and sniffed. Dom and Becky had paired off to search the other edge of the clearing and Scorpius and Albus were separately exploring – Albus being about twenty feet up a huge fir tree and Scorpius sniffing a protruding tree root.

"Christ its cold out here when you don't have fur," James said to no-one in particular. Sarah barked a foxy laugh and James grinned.

I was glad I could come out tonight, I had felt wary about shifting ever since I found out I was pregnant, but after doing extensive reading up on the subject (can anyone say Hermione?) I discovered that, like Quidditch, I would be able to continue until my third trimester.

Happy days!

"Smell anything Ro?" He asked. I shook my head and kept sniffing.

"Right, well I think we should head back, it's midnight" He said, glancing at his wristwatch in the light of the crescent moon.

"I've got an idea, let's go up to the dormitory in our animal forms, we haven't done that in a while and you know how much it confuses the Fat Lady" James said with a grin. We all gathered around him in a formation as he changed back on the spot and appearing suddenly as a huge dog, comically standing on his hind legs.

We raced back to the edge of the forest and stopped dead when we saw movement by the Great Lake. We all crouched down, our dark fur keeping us well hidden. Becky, whose artic coat gave her away immediately, hid between Dom and I, while Sarah flanked James. In unison we looked at each other and understood immediately that we needed to get closer. We crept around Hagrid's hut and lay, crouched in the pumpkin patch, gazing over towards the lake, where two figures stood. One of them was definitely human…a female, while the other looked like a huge winged horse… a Hippogriff perhaps?

To get closer we'd have to risk moving out into the open field to get nearer to the lake. Scorpius, who was next to me, stopped suddenly and sniffed a large feather. He looked at me and I took a deep sniff of it too. We instantly recognized it as the almost-familiar smell we could not place in the forest. Everyone else sniffed it and we gave ourselves the same confused look. I had to stifle a fox-laugh when I saw Scorpius' face. And if you're wondering why it was funny then you've obviously never seen a confused wolf. We crept through the pumpkin patch and into the trees the other side, working our way carefully through them in the long way around the field towards the lake. There we stopped and saw that, about twenty feet away, stood the odd pair. The darkness hid her features but she appeared to have darkish hair.

"How is it that they make this look so easy?" The female asked in hissed exasperation. The auburn hippogriff looked at her and gave her a weird shrug.

Animagi? What the hell?!

The female crouched on the floor and practically screamed in agony as she transformed painfully slowly into what appeared to be a light-coloured small doe. Suddenly Albus started making his cool growly noise very loudly and ran towards the pair. We looked at each other and followed whilst the two creatures on the sandy mud by the lake scuttled around in horror as a large lynx, two huge dark wolves and four larger than average foxes thudded towards them. Becky, Dom, Sarah and I tackled the hippogriff to the ground while Scorpius, Albus and James circled the silvery doe. I lay on the hippogriff as he looked up at me with terrified and familiar eyes. There was a rustling noise behind me and I turned to see the girl crouched on the floor in fear, having shifted back out of shock. I barked in shock and popped into human existence, at the same time as everyone else, including the hippogriff, did.

"Rose?!" The hippogriff-boy asked. My shitty human eyes were badly adjusted to see in the dark compared to my fox ones and I squinted down to see-

"Hugo? What the actual fuck?" I asked in horror.

"Get off me, you're half dressed!" He said, equally horrified. I wasn't really – I was in pyjama bottoms and a vest but I got off where I pinned his shoulders to the floor.

"Lumos," Sarah said, illuminating nine bewildered faces in her wandlight.

"Lily?" James said, hoisting the girl to her feet from her terrified position on the floor. She looked up at us all with scared eyes, which turned to annoyance.

"What- why the hell did you attack us?" She demanded at Albus.

"I knew it was you… come on, a silver doe – seriously?" Albus replied, rolling his eyes.

"It was easiest! I could hardly be a fox could I?!" She retorted. James shrugged in agreement.

"Since when are you guys on the practical stage of transformation?" I asked sharply, eyes narrowed.

"We aren't… technically. Lily thought we could practice since we've been learning theory for a year now."

"No wonder it hurts like hell, you pair of idiots shouldn't be attempting the practical side for at least another year. You could seriously hurt yourselves!" I scolded. Lily looked ashamed and Hugo sheepish.

"We know, but our parents were so proud of you. We just wanted to be like you" Lily said, half defensive and half apologetic.

"Well unless 'being like us' means walking around half deer or half hippogriff for the rest of your lives then don't even think about trying it again for a long time. Stick to theory and maybe we can help you out at some point." Dom replied in a fit of responsibility.

"Plus you should be focusing on your studies! You have OWLs this year!" I reprimanded sternly.

"Calm down, mum. This is the first time we've tried it. We didn't expect to be caught by the animagi police." Hugo replied dryly.

"Come on. Let's go. This is good actually – you can give the fat lady the password" a shivering James replied, noticing how my face froze at the sound of the word 'mum' addressed to me.

"Great" Lily and Hugo said sarcastically as the rest of us popped into our animal forms with ease and trotted towards the castle.

Thankfully we didn't bump into the (probably) thousand-year-old caretaker (yep, Filch is still here, plodding about) and it was tiring but fun as we padded up the stairs. Albus and Scorpius had parted ways with us at the Great Hall in their human forms since no human was around to let them into their common room while the rest of us led a wincing Lily and a disgruntled Hugo to Gryffindor Tower.

"Oh what the- who ARE those animals? If I see them coming into here again I'll report you two!" The Fat Lady said crossly to Hugo and Lily, as they waved her off.

We padded into the deserted common room silently and Lily and Hugo bade us a grumpy farewell, rubbing their aching joints as they climbed the stairs to their respective bedrooms. It's really weird feeling the soft carpet under my paws. No wonder dogs like it so much. All five of us padded up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. This is how the boys come into our dormitory… shifting at the bottom of the stairs and coming up as animals – the stairs can't stop male animals coming upstairs otherwise any cats we owned would be kept out. We girls shifted back and an exhausted Dom and Becky mumbled a goodnight and crawled into their beds. I got between my sheets and sat up, looking at Sarah and reaching for my book. Sarah was looking at James, who had jumped on her bed and was sat there panting (he was still in his dog form, he's not that mental.) Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"Come on Jay, bugger off" She said. James shifted quickly back.

"Fine," he sighed, knowing this was an argument he'd never win. "Get into bed first though." He said. Sarah clambered in and James tucked her blanket under her, cocooning her in her duvet, right up to her neck.

"Thanks James. Love you" She said casually, yawning. James' face flickered with sadness for a second but he covered it well.

"I love you too." He said wholeheartedly. "Ro, you aren't too old to be tucked in!" He added, looking at me with a maniacal grin.

"Get away from me you freak. Go to bed, I'm tired." I said grumpily. I am not a happy bunny when I am sleepy. James laughed and ducked out of the doorway, sliding with a delighted 'woo' down the stair-chute. Seconds after all the lights went out, I snuggled down to get comfortable and within what felt like an instant I was asleep.

You still daddy's little girl?

The words floated in my head over and over - they would for weeks. Surely he'd understand that mistakes happen… he's my dad… my daddy… he was always there with a hug for me when I fell off my broomstick. He was the one who I ran to when James and Fred tricked me into believing there was a werewolf hiding under my bed. He was the one who told all us kids about how he had loved mum forever and taught us all that love is stronger than anything and that you should never put anything above it. I love my dad, but will he still call me his little girl when he finds out? I love my parents… but now I also love my little baby… it's hard for me to admit – I'm no good with love or emotions – but the tiny thing inside me was my tiny child – my little fox cub. I'm sure my eyes would be filling with tears if I had any left to cry. There comes a point when you really are all cried out – you have nothing left to offer in way of tears… my eyes are constantly dry and my outward presentation composed. I walk around with an expressionless look on my face every day – I smile when I see my friends, I laugh when they tell jokes, I nod along in agreement when they complain about homework loads, but it's all going through the motions. I see Freddie, we have fun, I hang out with the girls, I mess around with James in the common room and study with Albus and avoid being alone with Scorpius. The one thing consuming me is my predicament. I'm going to be a mum – I'm going to make my mother a grandmother for god's sake – Nana Weasley will be a great-grandmother and I will have a baby before Teddy and Victoire even get married!

"Rose, you've been staring at that dead frog for the last twenty minutes" Sarah's voice came to me through the fog that was my thoughts.

I jumped and looked around. I was in Potions, sat around a table which also sat Sarah, Becky, Amy, James and Danny. At the next table over, Chelsea, Scorpius, Freddie, Dom Rich and Albus stood bent over a cauldron which was spewing regular puffs of green smoke.

"Could you put the crushed mint leaves in please Ro?" Becky asked, staring intently at her potions book. Potions was her thing – she loved it and wanted to go into magi-medical pharmaceuticals when she left school.

"Hurry up, I'm getting old here." Amy snapped. She was having an extraordinarily stressy day today, even for her.

"It's a shame you aren't a cheese then – you'd at least be improving with age." Sarah replied dryly, chopping the dried frog's livers and adding them carelessly to the potion. I snorted at Amy's face, which was contorted with anger.

"Shut up will you! Who cares what you think?" Amy spat back.

"Let's have a show of hands, shall we?" I said sarcastically in reply.

"Pack it in will you" James said to us all in general.

"She started it!" Amy said childishly, pointing accusingly at Sarah.

"Come on girls" Chelsea said from behind me, putting an arm around Amy. "Play nicely!" She added with a venomous smile at me. I glared back at her.

I was getting really edgy about these two. Amy was no threat to me really, she was vindictive and a downright bitch, but she wasn't the brains of the operation – that was Chelsea. She was the one who made my alarm bells ring. She was smart enough to do some real damage if she found out about me. For a start, she's incredibly popular, and also her father owns an international paper. She has a lot of pull around here.

"Piss off Chelsea." Becky said in a bored tone.

"Ooh, Blondie is getting mouthy!" Chelsea said, raising her eyebrows at Amy, who made an 'ooh' noise too.

"Chelsea, will you come and help out now?" Albus said with a frown at their new attack on Becky.

Chelsea gave us an acidic smile and flounced off. Thankfully the bell went just as she left.

"Bottle up your potions and get rid of the remainder! You will be marked as a group on this assessment!" Professor Middleton yelled as we rushed about, adding last-minute ingredients. Becky was moving like a whirlwind – hands moving swiftly over the potion so the smoke rose in pretty green puffs. We all smiled at her.

"Well done, Becks! Quick potions work there" Albus said with a kind smile. Becky smiled at him and I could see her cheeks turning pink as she bottled up our potion and flew to the front of the class first, placing our labelled bottle on the professor's desk. She grinned at us as James waved his wand at the remainder of the potion and Becky hurried from the classroom with a smile, not waiting for anyone.

Sarah and I looked at each other with a confused frown, before we grabbed our bags and rushed after her, intrigued.

"Hey Beck!" Sarah and I called as we hurried down the corridor as it filled with students. We caught up to her as she smiled and eluded us but a figure pushed past us and reached her quicker.

"Becky, what the hell is up with you nowadays? I've barely seen you for weeks." The figure demanded. It was Rich.

Sarah and I stood glancing nervously at each other a few feet away as Freddie came up behind me and put an arm around me while James, Dom and the rest of our gang appeared behind us.

Becky's smile had disappeared as she turned around. Younger students were swarming around us at shoulder level so we could see everything.

"I haven't been avoiding you…" Becky said meekly.

"You obviously have been." Richard replied. "Why? What have I done?" He asked.

We stood awkwardly behind him and Becky's eyes darted over to us as she was looking at him.

"You haven't done anything wrong… it's just hectic at the moment. It's nothing to do with you or anything you've done"

"Then why haven't you talked to me about it? Why don't you talk to me anymore?" Rich asked. "We used to talk all the time about everything… you never kiss me anymore, you never have lunch with me or want to go out into town on the weekend with me… you don't want to hang around with me anymore"

I looked around at my friends; they all mirrored my uncomfortable expression – Sarah looked almost close to tears for some reason. There was nowhere for us to go though – the only direction for escape was past Becky and Richard – we were blocked in.

"Look Rich… I think we need some time apart," Becky said quietly. Richard visibly stiffened.

"What… like a break?" He asked softly. Dom winced from behind me.

"Yes…" Becky said quietly.

Rich said nothing. He stood and stared at her for what felt like minutes on end before he walked quickly past her and out of sight, leaving Becky looking tearful and the rest of us shocked. Becky's eyes darted towards us before she let out a sob, turned and ran down the corridor, Dom close behind.

"She'll be coming in a bit later on, guys." Dom said heavily, sitting down on James' bed next to me in the boy's dorm.

"Is it me, or is this a total fucking surprise?" Scorpius asked in disbelief from the floor.

"Yeah, did any of you see this coming?!" Dom demanded in shock. I kept silent – there was no point in saying that I'd spoken to her.

We all shook our heads.

"I'll go and see her, run her a bath or something." Sarah said, looking concerned and leaving the room.

"What d'you think is going to happen?" Albus asked, looking worried. Dom shrugged before she got up too, looking equally worried and left to check on her best friend.

"Don't know. But why is Sarah looking so miserable? Anyone would think she'd been dumped. I mean, poor Rich, Becky hasn't treated him very well lately if what he's said is true." Scorpius said.

"I know, it sounds awful. " I mused as James shifted next to me.

Albus looked at his brother quizzically.

"What's that face for, Jay?"

"It's nothing. But I know why it's hit Sarah so hard." James admitted after a second, looking at me as if it were a secret we shared. The others looked at me too, expectantly.

"Don't look at me – I don't know where you're going with this," I said with a shrug.

"Well go on, don't leave us in suspense." Scorpius said. James shifted on his bed.

"What Becky's done to Rich – not showing him any affection or anything – well, I sort of did the same thing to Sarah before we broke up."

We all sat in silence… until now we'd seen James as the victim in the break up.

"What the hell do you mean?" I asked sharply while Albus and Scorpius looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"Harsh." Albus said to his brother.

"Why'd you do that? You're mad about her, and she was mad about you!" Scorpius said as if he were talking to someone very stupid.

"I thought she'd call my bluff, but Rose said she was enjoying attention from elsewhere," James replied sheepishly.

"Buh!" I spluttered, "I said no such thing! All I said was that in the last month of the relationship she was hanging out with Danny and he was treating her nicely and stuff."

"Yeah, well I realised she wasn't going to call me up on it but it was too late. I was a fucking idiot"

"You're telling us! You are a moron… you are king of the morons! All the other morons look up to you for guidance in how to be bigger morons!" I said in horror.

"All along we were thinking she dumped you because she wasn't interested in you any more, when really you were treating her like crap just because you wanted to know if she'd notice and confront you about it?! You broke her heart!" I added, getting angry.

"God, I used to feel sorry for you for losing her – you're a dick. You brought it upon yourself, mate." Scorpius said, shaking his head in pity.

"All right, calm down. Don't you think I know that? I still loved her, I don't know why I did it, I just wanted to see if she'd care if I pretended to stop caring" James said, having the good grace to look thoroughly ashamed of himself.

"Twat," Albus muttered, shaking his head.

"It doesn't change anything about how I feel about her." James said, holding his hands up. "It's not like any of you are perfect – we all make mistakes" he said, looking sad.

"Well… it's in the past…" I sighed.

"I treated her like a goddess until then"

"Making it worse, mate." Albus said with a half-smile, shaking his head.

Suddenly, the girl herself appeared in the doorway.

"She's downstairs in the common room, you want to come and see her?" Sarah said, popping her head around the door with a bright smile on her face.

I looked at her warm smile in a new light – all the while she let me comfort James instead of crying out to me that she was the one left heartbroken because her boyfriend had seemingly fallen out of love with her. And instead of asking her how she felt, I assumed James had been the victim. Then guilt weighed on my stomach like an anvil, aching. I had no idea that she was the one irrevocably broken.

Just like me.

"Yeah, we'll be down now" I said, smiling at her, though I wanted to cry. She nodded and disappeared. We all got up and I smoothed James' sheets.

"You gave that up" Scorpius said, jerking his thumb towards the door Sarah had just disappeared through and shaking his head as if James was mad.

"Piss off." James said, trying to sound grumpy but just looking sad.

My cousin is officially a fucking idiot.

"I'm ok, really. It had to happen sometime, better now than during exams." Becky said as I shoved Honeydukes chocolate into my gob.

"How long have you been on the rocks?" Al asked, nibbling a bit of fudge.

One of us girls always has emergency period-pain sweeties and chocolate squirreled away for situations such as this. James usually snaffles some firewhiskey away and we've all got a small glass of it, although mine is purely ornamental for obvious reasons.

"Don't know. I just feel like we've had a good run but neither of us is happy – we've been together for four years… we've been together out of convenience recently." Becky replied honestly.

"Fair shout." Dom shrugged.

"As long as you're ok," Sarah said, patting her arm with a smile.

"Course, I'll be fine. I've got you lot!" Becky said with a small smile and accepting James' offered high-five.

"We're pretty cool aren't we" Dom said, with her mouth full of toffee. I nodded.

"I'll pretend to drink to that" I said, raising my glass and patting my stomach at the same time.

"To being great" Sarah laughed, raising her glass to click against mine.

"To friendship" Becky smiled softly, raising hers too.

"And love" Scorpius said, looking surprised at himself as he clinked our glasses.

"To being a bunch of soppy girls," James said as he raised his own large glass, wiping a pretend tear away. We all grinned at each other and everyone drank while I took a hearty swig of the bottle of water I've taken to carrying around with me.

No matter what happens, I suppose I have this bunch of freaks to call my own.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sorry it's been a few days longer than usual, guys! Please R & R as ever, and I will enjoy reading them as always :D To keep you lot interested, someone else finds out in the next chapter… in a less than ideal way! Care to place your bets on who and how? :P

Please review! ;)

-Sarita x