CHAPTER 21: Fred

I step out of the limo, and into a sea of camera flashes, until they realise I am not a 'celebrity' and pull away. Sometimes I really love my job. I get to be in show business and go to things like this, all the while being an insignificant writer that no one ever recognises, because no one knows who I am!

As I wait in the security line ready to present my invitation and surrender all electronic devices, my thoughts stray to Annie.

Will she be here? Did she mean what she said about coming tonight? I hadn't seen her in weeks, not since the meeting and that wanker Elliot with his hands all over her. I still don't know how I kept my cool so long. The minute he took her small hand in his long bony fingers I wanted to rip them from his hand. I'd had to endure a lecture off Mike the producer that afternoon - 'what had gotten in to me? New client, fantastic opportunity etc etc.' Annie wasn't an opportunity, something to exploit. Yet Elliot seemed to be all in favour of their relationship being exactly that.

I hadn't seen her face to face, but I had seen enough of the happy couple to last me a lifetime. I just couldn't seem to help myself. I'd spent too many hours alone analysing her every feature on every photo of them together, for any kind of clue. That this was all nothing, she couldn't really be in to him. Could she?

Without realising it, I'm inside, glass of champagne in my hand. I look around. Wow! As always, this place takes my breath away. The company outdid itself at these events.

I step through the door, and it's like I've stepped through the wardrobe straight into 'Narnia'. The blue velvet carpet runs from the doors to the light up dance floor. Silver and white iridescent snowflakes float in the air above. The whole room seems to glow, soft white led Christmas lights hanging from every surface. The open bar, is a long white marble counter that seems to flow into the buffet table that sits beside. The stage is set for the live band, that too seemingly covered with glitter. Even the floor itself seems to be sparkling. Each of the four corners of the dance floor is adorned with a huge white Christmas tree. The tables are all white crisp table cloths and silver candelabras. Mistletoe strategically placed throughout the room. There's even talk of a hot tub out back! It's all so magical and wonderful, and yet something is missing.

I look through the fog of faces of VIPs and Celebrities, for her. Then, just like a princess in a fairy tale, I see her descending the stair case. God she is stunning. I take a moment and just drink her in. The worries seem to have left her for the evening. Her gorgeous olive skin just seems to shimmer in the twinkle of the fairy lights, beautiful big brown eyes sparkling as she takes in all the surroundings, her thick glossy chocolate brown hair twisted up into some kind of complicated style at the back of her head. Little bits coming naturally undone and falling onto her neck. I reach out to put them behind her ear, before realising my error. I'm a fifty feet away at the other side of the room, and she is arm in arm with Elliot. His eyes travelling up and down her greedily, making me clench my fists, nearly shattering the champagne flute I hold in my hand. I drain it of its contents and walk towards them, meaning to go past, when…

"Fred!"

She's broken away from his grip and is standing in front of me and now I can't move, seriously, did she still have this effect on me after all this time? She's wearing a beautiful aqua blue floor length dress, that seems to skim her every curve. It ties at the base of her neck and when she turns, to put down her drink I take in a breath at the sight of her beautiful back. The dress so simple from the front is low cut down to the bottom of her spine, not low enough to show the dimples I know she has. I smile to myself remembering them. She looks so gorgeous and comfortable all at once. Even though I know deep down she'd rather be slobbing around in a hoodie and slippers instead of the four inch heels she's trying to pull off. She does by the way, very well. They make her the same height as my nose. I prefer her in flats too. I liked being able to pull her against me and have her head fit under my chin. I used to torment her by resting my elbow on her shoulder. She hated that. I chuckle.

"Fred?" She repeats.

"Anne."

"I'm so glad to see you here Freddie. You look..." She takes in my suit and blushes. "...well."

I smile at her use of my nick name and feel myself blushing. Now what? Small talk? Why is this so difficult? When we were together she was my soul mate and my best friend. The one person I could tell anything to, and now I'm struggling for a conversation starter!

"Yeah I'm well thanks. How about you, are you well? What about your family? By family, I mean Mary, Charlie and the boys?" Not wanting to bring her father up.

"They're great. I believe. I haven't really seen them since the wedding, but with the tour starting soon, they said they might even be able to come up and see it sometime."

She lowers her head looking away disappointed. Damn Mary and her jealousness! Not wanting to support your sister who you know struggles every time she gets on stage. I look over to Elliot who seems pre occupied with trying to catch the eye of a young actress. How he can even see anyone else in the is room when she's here, is beyond me. He has her on his arm and he's let her come to me. Doesn't he even know how much this gorgeous gem is worth? I did. I'd never forget. If I was him I would never let her go.

Then I remember. I was him, and that's exactly what I did. I've never got over the fact I never fought for us. I'd let Soph and Chris pull me away, when I should have stood my ground, made her see how right we were. I start to silently wonder if he makes her forget her fear now when she walks on stage. Is it him she thinks of now? She follows my gaze to him and then back to me, puzzled. I realise I've been gawping at her, mouth open, for God knows how long. Seconds, minutes. Too long anyway.

"That's great, I'm glad, so are you well?"

Idiot Fred! You just asked that, great now what she going to think of you? But she just smiles, that full on smile, that melts my heart and for some reason I don't feel stupid at all. I feel like the luckiest bloke on the planet, because I made her smile. God I'm pathetic, its a fucking good job the lads can't hear my thoughts, I'm a wreck.

I look round the room and make some comment about the decorations, asking her what she thinks, it being her first TMR Christmas Event. Her face lights up and breaks into a wide grin.

"It's amazing isn't it? I can't believe they would do all this for one night." Her eyes scan the room and then land back on me. "I'm really glad I came."

"Me too." I tell her. It's the truth. "You look beautiful. By the way."

She lifts her head blushing and gives me that secret smile, my smile. Something inside me heats up. Then she looks around at some of the other girls including Elliot's actress friend, and back down at herself her eyes filled with sadness and insecurities. I reach out and pull her chin gently back towards me. She audibly gasps.

"Don't… Annie. Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" Her voice trembles, her chin still in my grasp.

"You know what. I know what you're thinking. And just don't. Ok? You're the most beautiful woman in this room. You should hold your head up high, not retreat to the shadows."

She lifts her hand to the one of mine that holds her chin and brings it to her side still holding my fingers in hers. And I feel it. That spark we had. It's still there.

But before we can explore it any further, that Elliot wanker comes up to her, already pissed, and pulls her into a dance, even thought there's no music. People are looking. Anne will hate that. What a Dick? Ha, Dick, Richard- Dick, I chuckle at my own joke.

Then the laugh dies in my throat and I stop breathing, the whole room stops.

He's tipping her backwards, and as if in slow motion, his mouth is on hers. I don't know how, but I'm getting out of there as fast as my legs can carry me, then I hear her calling me, I turn, her eyes filled with unshed tears, searching mine.

"Freddie don't go … listen, that- its not … its just ... the party's just getting started ..."

"I need to go." I know she's upset, but I'm so mad right now I don't care. It's over.

"But the band's just starting to play and there'll be dancing, isn't that worth staying for?"

"No. There's nothing worth me staying for" and I leave.