How To Live With The Sevilles
Chapter 16 - Simon The Space Exploring Victim!
Hello! I'm back with some more rules. It's not a long chapter but I couldn't do any better. * Sigh. * The reviewers:
- Lulu308 - Yeah, I know. And believe me, Jonathan could beat Luc while sleeping. He's that powerful.
- MunkyRob - No problem!
- The Simonette254 - Hey, it wasn't me! It was Jonathan! ( Speaking of him, he might reappear... soon. )
- Crazymofo332 - Yeah. I decided to write something different. Speaking of which, I seriously need to write a lemon...
- EmilyAnaya19 - Well, what can I say except that I agree?
- CamoHunter - Yeah, thanks for spotting that 'little' detail. It would be so awkward. But anyway, I'll introduce your OC in the next chapter.
- Ben Wheeler - Now?
- Ezoter Zone - I don't know. I might consider it.
By the way, there are 2 or 3 swearwords in this chapter. Just sayin'.
RULE No. 301 - No IQ fights. Things will get ugly. ( By MunkyRob. )
Ki: Technically, Lucas is smartest. He has 200 IQ. And then goes Simon with 199 IQ. But those two want to find out who is smarter between them.
Rob: I'm smarter than you!
Luc: Nope! I am!
Rob: I AM!
Luc: We need to settle this!
Rob: IQ FIGHT!
Simon: Let's leave be-
Rob: Simon! Jeanette! You are the hosts!
Simon: Oh no...
Two hours later...
Rob and Luc lay on the floor, panting.
Luc: Carry on! I will win!
Simon: Okay! How much is atomic weight of the Uranium?
Luc: 286.05
Rob: 285.02
Simon: Rob is correct!
Jeanette: You're equals. One more question.
Luc&Rob: My brain hurts!
Simon: Want to stop?
Luc&Rob: NO! Say that fucking question!
Jeanette: 2 + 5 = what?
Luc: * Groaning with pain. * 52.
Rob: * Stroking his head. * 25.
Jeanette: Neither of you is correct.
Simon: Guys, you are totally equals.
Luc&Rob: My brain! Mommy!
Chrystal: Crybabies... also, I would've won. I'm the smartest!
Jeanette: * Frowns at Chrystal. *
Simon: Jean don't even think about it!
Jeanette: I'll try.
RULE No. 302 - No experiments on each other. ( Also by MunkyRob. )
Brittany: Hey Alvin, I was won- * Explosion shakes the house. *
Alvin: What the hell was that?
Brittany: I'm sure it was one your geek brother's experiments.
Simon: HEY! I'm right here!
Brittany: Oh, I'm sorry. But then who was it?
Luc: Who else has laboratory?
Chrystal: ROB! *Runs into Rob's laboratory. Everyone follows her and they see Rob levitating in mid-air unconsciously. * Rob! Wake up! * She pulls him down to the floor and slaps him on the face. *
Rob: * He wakes up immediately. *
Chrystal: What the hell have you done?
Rob: What have I done?
Chrystal: You have been levitating in midair!
Rob: Then, it worked!
Chrystal: * Chrystal grabbed Rob's sweater and shook him. * What the fuck are you talking about?
Rob: * Gently pushes Chrystal away. * Calm down! I just injected 20 billion nanobots into my system.
Everyone: * O-O *
Chrystal: Why?
Rob: I was jealous, because Luc, Ki and Lucas have superpowers. Now, I have too.
Alvin: Like what?
Rob: Theoretically I can run faster than a F1 racecar, I can become invisible, I can levitate as you could see, I'm fifty times stronger than I was, I can see through walls and I have a screen on my eyes so I'm able to control my system.
Girls: You can see through walls?!
Rob: Relax girls. If I did what you think I would be murdered by Chrystal.
Luc: Then you're as powerful as we are with Ki and Lucas?
Rob: No. I'm weaker. I wasn't able to find out the secret of your powers.
Chrystal: Um, how could I murder you if you have superpowers?
Rob: Well you have superpowers, they just haven't been activated yet.
Chrystal: You injected me with nanobots?! Robert Rex Courtis you're officially dead! * She opened her claws and clawed across Rob's face, but the wounds just disappeared. *
Alvin: Wow! Rob turned into Wolverine!
Chrystal: Well, I don't think your precious acorns between your legs will be able to grow back if I will cut them off...
Rob: I think it's the perfect time to test my top speed. * He run away at about 390km/h. *
Dave: When he is back, tell him he is grounded.
Simon: Dave, you have two reasons why you shouldn't ground him.
Dave: What?
Simon: First, he has superpowers. Second, Chrystal has them too.
Dave: But Rob said he hadn't activated them yet.
Chrystal: I'm a smart girl. I have just activated them. Now could you excuse me? I must rape somebody into pieces. * She ran away as fast as Rob did. Maybe even faster... *
Dave: * Looks at Simon, who is grinning. * Don't even think about it or you will be grounded!
Simon: * Acts all innocent. * What are you talking about Dave?
RULE No. 303 - NEVER give Julia a Cherry Coke. ( Soccer Freak 67 rule. )
Julia: Give me cherry coke!
Ki: NO!
Julia: I NEED IT TO CONTINUE MY EXISTENCE!
Simon: ... What?
Ki: I've been warned to never give you a Cherry Coke!
Julia: I will hurt you!
Ki: Guys, tie her up or something!
Toby: What's going on with her?
Ki: Toby, take the coke and run!
Toby: Huh?
Ki: RUN BEFORE SHE KILLS YOU!
Toby: * Disappears in a flash with the Cherry Coke. *
Ki: Phew... she will never get him now...
10 SECONDS later...
Toby: SHE GOT ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Everyone: * Gulps. * We are doomed...
RULE No. 304 - Do everything to prevent Julia from coming to Alvin's Truth Or Dare Show. Especially AFTER cherry coke.
Alvin: We had enough of her dares!
Ki: Yeah. But other people should slow down a bit too.
Alvin: But she's the worst!
Everyone: Agreed.
Julia: Ready for the next show?
Everyone: * Runs the hell away. *
Julia: I will get you all soon! * Evil laugh. *
RULE No. 305 - NEVER interrupt Ki while he watches Hamtaro.
Alvin: * Shudders. * I'm not suicidal.
Brittany: Me neither.
Toby: But seriously, you can't get him away from his PC! He's glued to it!
Corey: Even I can't. He just yells at me.
Alvin: Then you are lucky. Last time Simon interrupted him, Ki threw him at the sun!
Corey: He threw you at the freaking SUN!? HOW DID YOU SURVIVE THIS!?
Simon: I don't know. I woke up few miles away from here...
Ki: * Yelling from his room. * Ruby saved you!
Simon&Corey: Who's Ruby!?
Ki: * Singing. * It's Hamtaro time! Kushi, kushi...
Everyone: * Facepalm. * It's the TWENTY THIRD episode today!
RULE No. 306 - No skydiving.
Alvin: Woah. It's a bit high.
Ki: We are ten miles aboveground! What did you think it would look like!?
Dave&Toby: Do we have to do this?
Ki: YES!?
Toby: Where is your parachute then?
Ki: I don't need it...
RULE No. 307 - No showing off your dance skills.
Alvin: Ki is such a showoff. Like the time he did moonwalk... while doing a handstand.
Brittany: But what can you expect? He's the strongest being on the planet. His ego must be proportional...
Simon: Think about it that way. He could enslave the whole planet to do his bidding...
Ki: Thanks Si! I'll do it next Monday!
Everyone: * Glaring at Simon. *
Simon: What did I do?
RULE No. 308 - Do not ask Ki stupid questions... or questions he doesn't want to answer.
Alvin: Hey Ki, I've got a question.
Ki: What is it?
Alvin: You say you are a god, right?
Ki: Yeah, so?
Alvin: Then why the hell won't you turn yourself back into a human?
Ki: ...
Simon: That's seriously a good question Alvin.
Alvin: Thanks. Now spill the beans Mr. God!
Ki: You'd like to know, don't you all?
Everyone: YES!?
Ki: Too bad you won't. * He snaps and they instantly forget the past 30 seconds. *
Alvin: Hey, what's going on?
Simon: Weren't we doing something?
Ki: You two were going to eat breakfast.
Alvin&Simon: Thanks. * They go to the kitchen. *
Ki: * Facepalms. * It's 9 pm!
RULE No. 309 - Do not try to find out what's stronger: Falcon Punch or Sparta Kick.
Alvin: They are both awesome. Especially if you do them on Toby.
Toby: WHY THE HELL YOU ALL HATE ME SO MUCH?
Alvin: Ki...
Ki: THIS IS SPARTA! * Sparta Kicks Toby out of the house and follows him. *
Toby: MOMMY!
Brittany: Is he doing it again?
Alvin: Brittany, you should move though.
Brittany: Why?
Ki: FALCON PUNCH! * Toby flies back into the house and Brittany barely dodges him. *
Brittany: WATCH OUT IN WHICH DIRECTION YOU ARE ANNIHILATING TOBY!
Ki: Sorry!
RULE No. 310 - Don't ask who Ruby is.
Corey: WHO IS SHE!?
Ki: Not telling!
Corey: I'm your girlfriend! I HAVE to know!
Ki: Nope.
Corey: You are impossible!
Simon: Hey, I'd like to know who saved my li-
Ki&Corey: SHUT UP SIMON!
Simon: * Does a small laugh. * Trouble in the paradise?
Ki: You know what!?
Simon: * Gulps. * What?
Ki: TIME TO EXPLORE THE MOON!
Simon: HELP ME SOMEBODY!
Ki: Now she won't save you! * Throws Simon through the window. *
Simon: RUBY!
RULE No. 311 - Simon is SUPER lucky.
Simon: Guys... I'm... back.
Jeanette: SIMON! I've been so worried!
Simon: Hi Jeanette...
Ki: Don't tell me she saved you again.
Simon: Yeah, she did.
Corey: WHO THE HELL IS RUBY!?
Ki: Heh. RULE No. 310, remember?
Corey: I don't care about those munking rules!
Ki: Well, I guess I can tell you a bit. * Brings out his PC and types something into google. *
Corey: Su... Succuwhat?
Ki: Succubus.
Simon&Jeanette: * Eyes go wide. * SHE'S A SUCCUBUS!? * They both faint. *
Everyone: WHAT'S A SUCCUBUS!?
Corey: Wait, here is the wikipedia page... Succubus is... YOU ARE SO FREAKING DEAD KI!
Ki: I didn't do anything with her! I SWEAR!
Corey: * Begins throwing fireballs at Ki. *
Alvin: Woah! He taught her well... too well...
Toby: I want fireballs too! * One flies straight at his face. *
Brittany: You want it you get it Toby! * Everyone bursts out laughing, except Ki and Corey. *
Alvin: * Checks out Ki's PC... and finds something interesting... * HEY COREY! I FOUND HER PHOTO!
Corey&Ki: WHAT!?
Alvin: Nice chick... * Brittany drags him away. * Oh come on Britt! I was joking!
Brittany: Yeah, SURE!
Corey: You have her photos!?
Ki: Hey, I don't know where did this come from! I SWEAR!
RULE No. 312 - Nobody believes Ki anymore. Even if he is stating the obvious truth!
Ki: You are sitting on the chair.
Simon: Nice try Ki. I won't fall for it. * He is sitting on a chair... *
Ki: OKAY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! I'M THROWING YOU STRAIGHT AT THE NEAREST QUASAR!
Simon: Nice li... * Ki throws him YET again! *
Ki: I swear if she will save him this time...
RULE No. 313 - No throwing others outside of our planet.
Jeanette: Ki, have you seen Simon recently?
Ki: Yes.
Jeanette: Stop lying. I know you didn't.
Ki: Then why are you asking me?!
RULE No. 314 - Okay, we managed to settle our differences... for a while.
Alvin: Don't screw up again.
Ki: Yeah... I know... is Simon back already?
Alvin: No... * Someone knocks on the window. * What the?
Simon: Heeeeeey!
Jeanette: SIMON! YOU ARE ALIVE!
Simon: Yeah.
Jeanette: Ki, if you ever again try to do something to Simon...
Ki: Yeah, I know. You will 'kill' me.
Everyone: Why 'kill' and not kill?
Ki: Well, as you probably know, I'm not that easy to kill. And even if you did kill me somehow, I could come back.
Alvin: What? You can ressurect yourself!?
Ki: SURPRISED!?
Alvin: So we will never get rid of you!?
Ki: Exactly.
Alvin: * Faints. *
Ki: * Facepalms. * I've got to talk with Ruby...
Corey: * Walks in. * Oh no. You aren't going anywhere near her!
Ki: But...
Corey: NO! I KNOW YOU TOO WELL!
Ki: * Giggles. * Okay, that might've not been a good idea...
Rule 315 - Don't say 'competition' near Eleanor.
Ki: That's a good advice. Remember the last time?
Alvin: Yeah. If she hears com- * Brittany muffles him with her paw. *
Brittany: Alvin! You almost said comp- * Jeanette stops her. *
Jeanette: Stop saying compe- * Simon comes in! *
Simon: Don't you understand what will happen if you say compet-
Ki: Seriously, does everyone need to say competiti- * Gets stopped by the rest of the gang. *
TV: * Random channel playing. * And let's check out today's competitio- * Ki teleports and stops the reporter from finishing. *
Ki: SHUT YOUR MOUTH! NO SAYING THE 'C' WORD! EVER!
TV reporter: What 'C' word? Wait, you mean compet- * Ki knocks him out. *
Few minutes later...
Alvin: Phew! It was hard!
Ki: But everyone stopped repeating co... that word. * Toby bursts in through the window. *
Toby: WHO WANTS TO PARTICIPATE IN MY NINJA COMPETITION!?
Eleanor: * Eleanor tears through the door. * DID YOU JUST SAY COMPETITON!?
Ki: Toby! I sentence you to death by getting torn apart by a pack of crazy chipmunks and chipettes!
Toby: Why it's always me to die!?
Everyone: BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES YOU!
RULE No. 316 - Remember Rule No. 20? Want to know what happened then?
The Chipmunks: YES!
Alvin: But how did you find out about that?
Ki: Hello? God here? I can do ANYTHING!
Simon: Your ego outgrew Alvin's! That's technically and practically impossible!
Alvin: I hate you... I wonder what would happen if you lost your powers?
Ki: I would be an exact copy of you. Except older and more perverted.
Simon: At least you are honest... So anyway...
The Chipmunks: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THEN!?
Ki: * Begins laughing like mad. * You have to see that for yourself! I've recorded it!
Simon: I won't even ask how is that possible...
Ki: And don't. We need somebody logical even though logic is a rare thing around here...
Alvin: Can we just watch it?
Ki: Okay, before you do, I have to warn you. It's completely MA rated content...
The Chipmunks: DOES THAT ME-
Ki: NO! It's rated like this for extreme gayness and other... stuff. So, I'd like you to sign this, so Dave won't sue me for destroying your brains.
Simon: Are you serious?
Ki: YES! SIGN IT OR NO WATCHING! * The three of them sign it, reluctantly. * Now, let's begin!
Three hours later...
Alvin, Simon and Theodore are sulking in the corner of the room, crying and laughing like madmen.
Dave: What the hell is going on here? WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM?
Ki: I warned them, but they didn't listen.
Dave: I'm so going to sue you!
Ki: Nope. They signed this paper. You won't see my money Dave, ever.
Dave: At least help them!
Ki: Why should I?
Dave: You little...
Ki: See you Dave! I have a date with destiny! * Jumps out of the window. *
Dave: I will tell Corey!
Ki: * Facepalms. * It's a figure of speech! GEEZ! Besides, do you think I would make such a cheap gramatical error? Can't you see it's 'destiny' and not 'Destiny'? CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S NOT...
30 minutes later...
Dave: * Sitting in the corner, crying. *
Ki: Don't mess with a grammar nazi chipmunk-human dashing handsome and perverted god being, EVER!
Simon: Evil lollipops want to eat my brain! SAVE ME!
Ki: Okay... you four freak me out a little.
Alvin: Take me to your alien mothership. Double time!
Ki: * O-O * Okay, I think I will fix you up... for now. * He snaps and they are normal again. ( As if they were normal in the first place... ) *
Alvin: What the hell was that?! You wanted to kill us?
Ki: I totally have to test this on Toby!
Rule No. 317 - No Disney Channel for Toby. ( EmilyAnaya19's rule. )
Toby: * Playing with a glowing blue katana. * Hey! This is Toby Seville and you're watching... *Accidentaly throws the katana across the room attempting to draw Mickey Mouse ears and it hits Alvin and knock a him against the wall. *
Corey: Toby, have you seen my... * Sees Alvin get hit with her katana. *
Alvin: * Shakily. * I'm okay! Sort of... * Faints. *
Corey: * Facepalms. * ...katana. You idiot!
Toby: * Ignores her. * GO MICKEY!
RULE No. 318 - No more cruises, ever. ( Includes a parasailing ban too! )
Dave: That's for your safety.
Alvin: But Dave! That was an accident!
Dave: Whatever. I'm not gonna be chasing you around tropical islands.
Simon: You need to let the kids grow up Dave!
Dave: I've heard it before and what mess it caused?!
RULE No. 319 - Guys, Ian and Zoe are back!
Ian&Zoe&The Lovecasts: Hello Dav-o!
Dave: Heeeeyy... * Doesn't seem happy to see them. *
Ian: Guess what?
Ki: You've married?
Ian&Zoe: YES!
Ki: * Faints. *
Charlene: What's wrong with him?
Alvin: Recently? Everything.
RULE No. 320 - Missed me?
Lucas: Hey, I'm back! Anybody missed me?
Ki: Not really.
Lucas: Huh?
Ki: Probably nobody even noticed you were gone.
Toby: NOBODY LIKES YOU!
Lucas: * Kicks Toby in his face. * That's not your line Toby! Get the script right, damn!
Toby: Sorry. * A girl comes in to do Toby, Ki and Lucas' makeup. *
Ki: Hello? This is a story! Nobody can see us! * The girl leaves the scene. *
Toby&Ki&Lucas: What's going on around here?
I personally think this chapter isn't good. But that's just my opinion. Anyways, don't you think Ki is acting too much like a dick lately? And he tried to kill Simon THRICE in this chapter! He seriously deserves a punishment! Don't worry, I've got something special planned for him! ( But you also can give me some ideas, I might use them too. )