DISCLAIMER: As much as I would like to say that I own the characters here, I only own a handful – okay – now dealing with a situation I set up at the end of another chapter back there.
"What's wrong?" Jack threw the door open and rushed over to where Erin sat on the couch, the older boy asleep on her lap, all legs and arms.
"Nothing now." Ianto walked out of the kitchen, drying his hands. "There's coffee in there if anyone wants some."
"I would murder for a cup," Erin went to move the child from her lap.
"Nothing doing." Ianto frowned at her. "You want tea?"
Erin glared at him with a look that made Jack shiver. "You want to try that again?"
Ianto sighed. "How many times are we going to go through this, Cariad?"
"As many times as it takes you to realize that there are far worse things that I could be doing, Glas Cheruau..." She smiled brightly up at him.
Jack and Susan stood back, watching with amusement. Jack came to take the child from her, straining a little, expecting him to be lighter. Susan frowned when she saw his face. She was sure she had seen it before. Jack had a lot of explaining to do, she feared. But all that took a back burner to the conversation that was unfolding in front of them.
"Please, Ianto, my sweet sweet coffee angel. I need coffee!" Erin was now trying to fall at his feet and grip his pants.
The Welshman looked down at her, a bemused smile creeping across his face, his own coffee mug in hand. "Give me one good reason and I'll consider it."
The woman at his feet stood to her knees and did an eerie impression of her fiancées arched eyebrow. "It's an aphrodisiac?"
Ianto choked and blushed. "What did you say?"
"You heard me, teaboy." She challenged, rising to his level.
"Erin..." He cleared his throat.
She put her hands in a begging gesture in front of her. "Please?" She smiled big at him.
"I'm giving in, but not for the reason you think, Jack." He shot a look at the man, who was now hiding a laugh in the child on his shoulder, before going to get it for her.
"He's so going for that reason." Jack chuckled, shifting the weight he was holding. "I'm going to go put this sack of potatoes in our bed, then I'll be back to explain."
"I was hoping you would say that." Susan slumped onto the couch beside where Erin was now sitting. "My brain hurts."
"Tell me about it." Erin looked over at her friend. "I had to make sure two very energetic versions of the same boy didn't touch each other. Not fun."
"So this isn't just a hallucination that Joey got bigger. Do you know what's going on?" Susan rubbed her eyes.
"Okay," Erin sighed and turned her body. "The best I can figure out about this is that that child that Jack just took in the other room was Joey – just an older version of."
"Right. I should have expected it, I guess," She shrugged.
Jack was coming back down the hall, having changed into his pajamas when there was a knock on the door. Ianto came out of the kitchen to answer it out of habit, a steaming mug for Erin in his hands. She took it from him and kissed him for his efforts as Jack went to the door.
He peeked out a bit before shutting it quickly, a frantic look in his eyes as he turned to Ianto. The other man returned the look and added a nod, drawing the pistol he had concealed.
"You had that on you the whole time?!" Erin was a bit shocked. "One of the boys could have gotten it and..."
Ianto held up and hand to halt her and she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest before rolling her eyes.
"What is it, Jack?" Susan whispered, going to stand behind him.
"Susan," he bent to look in her eyes, "I want you to answer the door while we cover it. Can you do that?"
"Uh, yeah." She frowned at him like he had lost his mind. "I think maybe I can handle that." Jack nodded and produced his Webly. "Okay, now that was just plain weird. I think we need to talk about weapons in the house." She turned to the door and looked out the peep-hole. Standing there was a well-cut man wearing jeans and a red band jacket. He was curiously good looking, and she had the feeling she had seen him before.
"Jack, come on, I know you're in there. I saw you." His voice had a touch of a local-sounding accent, but nothing Susan could place right off. Jack motioned for her to open the door.
"Hello?" She peeked out. "Can I help you?"
"Yes," his tone was formal and she got the impression that he was a lot like Jack in the suaveness department. "I need to speak with the man of the house."
Susan turned from him, trying to hide a smile. "Jack, I think there's someone here who wants to talk to you."
"Let him in," Jack instructed, never losing the grip on his gun. Ianto followed suit. Erin made note of the cute way his head went to the side when he was concentrating as she sank back as far as she could into the couch.
"Awww, now, isn't that sweet? The Harkness family. Or is that a group of Harkni?" John looked at a picture of the four of them that was framed near the door. "Anyway, I can see that there are a couple missing..."
Jack narrowed his eyes at the man in warning. John smiled his most charming smile and looked over to Susan when he heard her speak.
"What does he mean, Jack?" She was frowning.
"He should keep his mouth shut if he knows what is good for him," Jack spat like venom.
"That's right, you don't like paradoxes, do you, love?" John plopped on the couch beside Erin and motioned for Susan to join him. "Come on, let's all watch a movie or something."
Jack and Ianto had only moved their weapons, never losing the clean shot they could get on the man. "Susan, Erin, maybe you guys can, uh..." Jack could think of no good reason for them to leave other than they needed to.
"Hot coffee in the kitchen," Ianto muttered down the barrel of his gun, sure his fiancée had heard him.
"We are sooo there!" Erin pulled Susan with her out of the room before Ianto had a chance to change his mind.
"You can lower the guns, boys," John put his arms across the back of the couch. "I'm not here to hurt you, just to remind Jack that he needs to get that little boy to his friends to take back. Wouldn't be easy to keep him apart for more than a day. Oh, and you'll need this." John was holding out something that looked like a miniature wrist strap.
Jack lowered his gun, but didn't put it away. He motioned for Ianto to let it go. "Why did you do it? Or more importantly – How?!" He took the leather band he was being offered.
John shrugged. "Simple bootstrap paradox. I'm surprised at you, Jack..."
"But that breaks the Second law of thermodynamics!" Ianto cut in, hand still on the hilt of his gun as it sat in his holster.
Captain Hart leaned forward and held his hands out, palm side up, wrists together. "Arrest me then, PC Scientist!"
"I don't even see how..." Jack was trying to process what was happening. The strap he was holding was a beautiful piece of work. He turned it over to see the Torchwood stamp on the back.
"Come on!" John relaxed back. "The Novikov Self-Consistency Principle? Jack, we learned all this together – or were you too busy studying me?" He pursed his lips, making Jack shudder a bit. "Sheesh, domesticity has made you all soft in the head!"
"John, why are you here?" Jack took a seat in the overstuffed chair near the couch. "Short version."
Ianto sat directly opposite Jack, but was on the guard. This man was unpredictable, and, while Jack may be able to forgive and forget, that was not really Ianto's cup of tea.
"Jack, I had to if I ever expected to spend any time with you." He reached to put his hand on Jack's knee but the Time Agent shied away.
"I'm not following." He was getting agitated with him.
"You remember the time loop we were caught in?" He was all but batting his eyelashes.
"Yes." The response was harsh and cold.
"Where did you think it came from? You think those things happen on their own? I don't think so, my good man..." He was smug now, Ianto noticed. And Ianto had never more wanted to slap that look from someone's face.
"Jesus, John," Jack groaned.
"Well, I had already done it, so I had to! Not really all that messy. Simple fix. And the brilliant part is that we both had a hand in it! You want to be with me."
"Like a dog wants fleas." Jack muttered, standing and pulling John roughly to his feet. "You are going to turn around and leave. And I am not going to see you again!"
"What's wrong, pookie? You don't love me anymore?" He put on his best striken face.
Jack only tried to burn a hole through the man's skull with his gaze. But, it appeared, he had not magically been granted those powers. "John, leave now. Don't bother my family again or you'll be sorry. I mean it."
John moved away from his former partner, but not before embracing him in a one-sided hug. "I'll see you around then." He waked to the door and opened it before fiddling with his wrist strap. "Oh, yeah, and I'll give Grey your regards. Tell him his nieces and nephew say hello..." And with that, he was gone.
"Grey?" Ianto questioned, finally letting go of his firearm. "What did he mean?"
"I can't explain now, Yan. I've got to see an alien about a boy." Jack went into the kitchen to talk to Susan. "Susan, go in the bedroom and give that sleeping boy in there a kiss. You'll see him again in a year or so."
She didn't ask questions, just went down the hall with Jack on her heels. He watched as she placed a kiss on the boys cheek and brushed the blonde hair from his face. "He'll be fine." jack was fastening the wrist strap on him as she said her goodbyes.
"Jack, where are you taking him?" Susan felt suddenly protective.
He scooped the boy in his arms and smiled. "To Taryn and the Doctor. Best hands I could put him in. They'll make sure you never miss him in the future. I promise." And then he was out the door before she could talk him out of it.
Jack placed the sleeping boy in the carseat before taking a long look at him. There was something about him that tugged so hard at Jack's heart. And what was it that John had said – 'there are a couple missing' – what was that supposed to mean. He figured it was to throw him off, but one could never be sure. He couldn't waste another minute if he was going to catch the Doctor though. He knew they would be leaving the reception any minute now. He put the SUV in gear and sped to the place in the Plass where he knew the TARDIS usually sat before slipping into the rift.
He got there with time to spare – The Doctor and Taryn were just returning. "Hey there, Jackie!" the tall brunette hailed as she and The Doctor collapsed into giggles on one another. The Doctor had a tie around his head, a sure sign that he had had one two many banana daiquiris. "You bring that kid back?"
"Uh, you guys have been drinking," he pointed out the obvious, clutching the child closer to him as the boy shivered.
"And 'you guys' -" the Doctor pointed wildly about, earning another giggle from his companion, "have not been drinking enough." Jack could have sworn he heard the Timelord hiccup before continuing. "You are behind.'
"And what a behind!" Taryn added, going around the former Time Agent to admire. "Jesus, Jackie, do you realize you could calibrate instruments by that thing?! Susan is very very lucky..."
"Doc," Jack tried to bring his friend back. "I have a favor to ask."
"Not me." The Doctor put a hand on Jack's shoulder. "You want the Doctor from three days ago, let me take you too him..." He was vaguely aware that he was being pushed into the blue box.
In no time at all, Taryn and the Timelord were standing at the console, pushing buttons and pulling levers and laughing. Jack was only a little concerned when he felt the soft thump of a landing. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that they were better at this inebriated.
Jack dashed out of the door of one TARDIS and onto the one directly across from it.
"It's..." he heard the Doctor start to explain, but the alien was cut off by the TARDIS door opening and Jack Harkness rushing in with a small boy.
"No time to explain!" He panted, pushing the boy into Taryn's arms and running back to the door. "Put him back!"
"Well, Jack, he's not a sack of flour!" Taryn called after him. "And who is he?" But it was no use, the former Time Agent was already out the door, and the box was moving.
He dashed back across to the waiting TARDIS and found that Taryn had made herself cozy on the jumpseat and was already dozing off as the Doctor jumped around, trying to sober himself. "Ready to go then?" He asked Jack.
Jack nodded and took hold of he console for support as the TARDIS whooshed to life. "Will he be okay?"
The Doctor looked up from what he was doing. "Yeah, he's a good kid. We took him a few places, but we got him back an hour after he was taken, safe and sound to your little Hub." He thought for a moment. "Quite a shock to see him at the wedding again. Really should try not to loop like that, Jack, my boy. Could cause a time loop."
"So I've heard," his hands went to his hips. "Can you just get me home?"
"We're already there." The door opened to the SUV and Jack said his own goodbyes before getting in the vehicle and heading home. He knew he would have a lot of explaining to do to Susan, but not for a year or better. Tonight, all he needed to do was go home and drop in bed beside her. And he couldn't wait to do just that.