AN: Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while, life's be hectic and unbelievable, and you have no idea. I have been having family problems and to top it all of I was in a car accident, hence the lack of reviews. But that will all change; I'm back and ready to write. The updates to the other chapters as mentioned in the Update Alert are happening, it's taking some time, but they will be up shortly. Anyway, please read and review. And I don't own anything.

Chapter 18 (one month later) ~ "I can't understand why we're living life this way…I found your picture today…I swear I'll change my ways…I just called to say I want you to come back home"

I seriously can't believe my life right now. Lucas is still on tour, and I haven't heard from him in a month. I'm starting to get worried. He won't answer of my calls or texts. A couple days ago, I found out I was pregnant again, but when I went to the doctor today he said that I had a miscarriage. And what makes it worse is that Peyton's birthday is coming up which means that it is going to be even harder around here. And because all of this, I cried myself to sleep last night. But now I have some quiet time, its time for the girls to go to bed.

"Peyton do you want to come here and see if Daddy is on?" I yelled out, while taking Mia into my room where the lab top is set up. Joe, Kevin, Nick, and Miley decided to get Lucas and me webcams for our anniversary so we can see each other while he was away. But ever since we got it, he has never been on. He told me in the letter he sent with the webcam, that he would be on every night before I put the girls to bed so he can say goodnight, but that hasn't happened. Yes I'm disappointed about that but I have to hide the fact for Peyton. She is still excited every night with the hope of maybe he will be on.

"Yup, I'll be there in a minute."

"Ok, it's all set up and it looks like he is on." And that wasn't a lie; he was actually on, which was a surprise. All of a sudden I heard Peyton running into the bedroom.

"I'm ready."

"Me too." I said as I clicked the button to request a video chat, he came back accepting my request.

"Hey girls."

"Hey Daddy."

"Hey Luke. Mia can you say hello to Daddy?" I said trying to put on a brave face when deep inside my heart was breaking.

"Dada."

"That's my girl."

"So Daddy what's it like there?"

"It's fun and tiring Peyton. How are you?" Lucas said, noticing me, the look on my face and the bracelet I had around my wrist. Crap, I forgot to take that off after I found out there wasn't going to be a baby. Maybe if I put Mia in front of it, he would forget about it. So I put Mia in front of it.

"I'm good Daddy."

"Ok, well I have some people here who might want to say hello."

"Really, who?"

"You guys can come in."

"Uncle Joe, Uncle Kevin, Uncle Nick, and Aunt Miley! I can't believe you're here."

"Are you kidding me, we wouldn't miss talking to you guys for the world." Miley said, also noticing the look on my face. "Hey Brooke, Hey Mia. Oh my God Mia has gotten so big."

"Hey Miley, guys. Yea she has gotten so big since you last saw her and the last time I talked to you. Sorry to cut this reunion short but I have to put Mia to bed, Peyton you can stay on for a little bit longer, if you want but then its bed time." I said, sort of happy that I could get out of the awkward situation, but I really wanted to talk to Miley about everything that's been going on, we've grown really close over the past year.

"I would love to."

"Well, said goodnight to Mia."

"Goodnight Mia, I love you." Peyton said giving her sister a kiss.

"Goodnight Mia, Daddy loves you."

"Goodnight Mia, bye Brooke." They all said

"Bye guys, I'll talk to you soon."

"Hey guys can you give me some private time for my daughter."

"Sure no problem, goodnight Peyton. Talk to you soon." They all said.

"Goodnight."

"Hey Peyton, tell me about school?"

"Ok, Daddy. Well…"

Meanwhile, I was putting Mia to bed and talking to her as I normally do before she goes to bed. She is such a good listener, I wonder why

"So Mia did you like seeing your Daddy tonight?"

"Dada."

"I take that as a yes. Do you miss him?"

"Dada."

"Me too. I just don't like him not being here. I miss him all of the time. It's so hard right now and he has no idea. He hasn't returned any of my calls, emails, or texts. I mean what kind of relationship is that? I don't know if I should tell him about the baby, or about how much I need him right know because of the up coming months. They are hard for Mommy; you will understand better when you're older." It was then that I started to tear up. "Well enough of Mommy's babble. Goodnight my sweet pea." I said as I put Mia in her crib and gave her a kiss on her forehead. I then went outside of her bedroom and broke down into tears, not just tears like when I cut an onion, but the kind of tears I cry about Peyton and when I truly don't know what to do anymore.

What I didn't realize was that I left Mia's monitor our bedroom where Peyton and Lucas where and that Lucas heard everything. He heard every last detail of my conversation with Mia and me crying, but none of what Peyton was saying.

I had to put on a brave face for my daughter no matter how I felt because she adores him so much, so I stopped crying and went back into my bedroom.

"Alright, Peyton its time for bed."

'But Mom."

"No buts Peyton you have school tomorrow." I said, getting frustrated because I really wasn't in the mood for her attitude right now.

"You should listen to your Mother, Peyton she's right."

"Ok, goodnight Daddy."

"Goodnight Peyton. I love you. I'll talk to you soon."

"I love you too Daddy." Peyton said as she walked out of the room

"Brush your teeth and I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in. I just want to shut the computer down."

"Wait, Brooke. Can we talk after you put Peyton to bed?" Lucas asked, thirty seconds before I hit the shut down button.

"Yea, sure." I replied, not really wanting to talk to him or anyone at the moment.

"Alright, I'll be waiting."

"Ok, that was kind of creepy," I said forcing out a smile, "I'll be back in like ten minutes."

"Ok."

I don't know why, but putting Peyton to bed went by so fast; faster than normal. I guess it's because I really wasn't in the mood to go and talk to Lucas, but I had to so I went back into our bedroom

"Hey, I'm back"

"I'm glad."

"So…what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, Brooke I heard the conversation you had with Mia."

"What conversation?" I said trying to act dumb.

"The one you just had. I heard it through the monitor sitting on your side of the bed."

"Oh."

"Do you really feel that way?"

"Yea, I do Luke. I miss you so much."

"I miss you too, Brooke."

"But I don't' feel that way."

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? God Luke you don't return any of my calls, texts, or emails. How am I supposed to feel?" I said, wanting to scream at him but kids were probably sleeping so I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I did raise my voice level.

"I don't know Brooke, maybe the same way I feel about you not telling me that you are pregnant. And that I have to find out by seeing you wearing the bracelet." He said screaming.

"Was."

"What do you mean was?"

"God, Luke. I was pregnant; was as in the past tense."

"I know that. What happened?"

"Why do you care? You didn't even bother to call me back or answer my text when I tried to tell you."

"I care because I'm your husband and I love you. Now tell me what happened." He said, getting pissed with me.

"I wasn't feeling well for a week or two and I was late, so I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. Two days later, I went to the doctors to confirm it, and he said I lost the baby because I had put too much weight on my stomach and I was under way too much stress."

"What does he mean by that?"

"It means that I shouldn't have done what I did."

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" He said raising his voice once again.

"Peyton, Mia, and I were playing around and they were sitting on my stomach. And then that night I wasn't feeling well again, I thought it was a heavy case of morning sickness, so I thought that was normal. But I went to the doctors the next day and they told me that I lost it."

"Brooke how can you be so stupid and do such a thing with the girls?" He was still screaming.

"I don't know Luke; it's been really hard around here with just me raising two girls. But I guess you wouldn't have known that since you haven't been around or bothered to contact us. And by the way, thanks for calling me stupid Lucas. It really made me feel a whole lot better about the whole situation." I said screaming at the top of my lungs, trying to hold back tears. Great and now Mia's crying, we probably woke her up. "Thank you very much Luke, we have awaken Mia. And again, I probably won't get any sleep tonight. Yea, that's right, I haven't been sleeping. Maybe it's because I'm upset about Peyton all the time now and what makes it worse is that you're not here Luke. You're not here to understand what I'm going through, or for me to talk to. I've needed you so much this month Luke; it has been so hard, and just to hear your voice would have made it a little easier. That's the stress I've been under, which was one of the reasons I lost the baby." I was now screaming and crying. Mia's cries were getting louder and louder, I hope that they don't wake Peyton up. Then it would be extremely hard to get both of them back to sleep. "I've got to go before her cries wake up Peyton." And with that I walked right out of the room, turning the computer off before Lucas could notice.

What I didn't hear was him saying this. "Baby I'm sorry. I had no idea you felt this way. You are right I should have done all of the things you told me to do. I love you so much and I don't want to loose you. I don't like it when we fight, and especially when you're made at me. Please forgive me?"

I walked into Mia's room and put her back to sleep, which took awhile considering that we were both crying. My crying didn't stop then, but I went into Peyton's room anyway to make sure she is asleep. I walked over to her bed, gave her a kiss, told her that I love her, and apologized for tonight. And finally I walked back into my room, got ready for bed, and once again cried myself to sleep.