CHAPTER 21

Ratchet met Optimus' gaze. "I.. well," he began. "We kind of had a little trouble.."

Optimus's optics fell back on the mess on the floor. "A little?"

Bulkhead crossed the room and poked at the femme like she was soem kind of parasite. She rolled onto her back, a limp rag doll. "Um...," he began. "I thought she was offline. How did she end up on the floor?" he looked up at them. "You didn't by any chance-"

"She came back online herself," Ratchet cut him off.

Optimus stared. "She came back online?" he demanded. "When did this happen?"

"A few minutes ago," the medic explained. He saw the look on the other bots faces. "It's not as serious as you think."

"Not serious?!" Optimus exclaimed. He gestured at Prowl's condition. "Look what she did to Prowl." he pointed at the medic's neck. "Look what she did to you!"

Ratchet unconsciously covered the puncture wounds. "It's not that serious," he said.

Optimus stared at him like he was crazy. "She could have killed you!"

"Well she didn't," the medic said testily. "If she wanted to, she would have. She didn't want to."

"How do you know?"

"I'm alive aren't I?"

Good point.

"Just be glad Bumblebee wasn't here to see it," Bulkhead spoke up. He reached down and lifted the femme off the floor. She dangled from his grasp like a broken toy. "You'd never hear the end of it. What do you want me to do with her?"

Ratchet absently gestured to a table. "Set her there for now," he instructed.

Bulkhead set her down then turned back to the others. "So what did happen?" he asked. "Not just the part where she came online." he pointed at Prowl and Ratchet. "What did she do to you?"

"Trust me, kid," Ratchet said, going back to working on Prowl's damage. "You don't want to know."

Bulkhead looked a little put out. He knew some of the story but there were plenty of parts that nobody had told him. He would have liked to know everything but if they didn't want to tell him then he wasn't going to know.

Prowl felt sorry for the bigger robot but he couldn't tell him anything either, especially about what she'd done to him. It was too embarrassing. It was best that none of them knew the entire story.

"They'll find out eventually."

Hello Voice. He'd hoped the EMP had gotten rid of that link. Seems it hadn't. But he wasn't all that disappointed. If he was still receiving the Voice, that meant she was still alive.

Which meant she would come back online and maybe this time cause more trouble than she did before.

Why am I looking forward to it? I must be going crazy.

A short time later Optimus and Bulkhead finally left the two robots alone. Ratchet went back to repairing Prowl but the cyber ninja noticed that the medic started scratching at the bite area on his neck. "Are you all right?" he asked him.

"I'm fine," Ratchet told him, reaching up to scratch the wound. "It's just bothering me a little."

Prowl didn't believe him. What if the femme had given him the virus? What if that's why it was bothering him? If she did it's my fault. I shouldn't have asked him to bring her here. I should have just killed her like Bumblebee said. Ratchet had said he doubted she'd want him to become a vampire but he didn't know for sure. What if she did? What if she thought doing so gave her some kind of advantage? With the way he was now it wouldn't be too hard for the medic to over power him.

No, she would not do that.

That's what he told himself anyway.

But maybe she would. Maybe she would make him her slave and force him to repair her and bring her back online. She was dangerous when she was online but she was also dangerous when she was unconscious. She still had some kind of control over Prowl even in stasis. He was free from the virus but he was still linked to her. She just wouldn't leave him alone. If she didn't harass him in solid form she could do it in spiritual. As a voice in his head.

The flashes of memories in his mind that weren't his own told him that. Her memories told him enough about herself. She had to deal with being experimented on when she was younger. By Autobots. Perceptor and Wheeljack and Primus knew who else. Those memories scarred her. Made her hate his kind. She wanted to kill them all yet she would not kill Prowl. She just liked to harm him.

But there was a problem... how had she wound up being experimented on by Perceptor in the first place? Had she, like Ratchet said, been built by somebody who failed to complete her spark? If so why? What had caused that to happen? Maybe they had hunter her down like an animal...

Even if that was true it would not explain how she wound up that way. There was a big part missing out of the equation. A part she was not going to tell him. It was none of his business, she'd insisted.

He realized he wanted to know the answer. But who could he ask?

Why did he care anyway? She had beat him up, drained his energy, turning him into her vampire minion, beat him up again, nearly molested him... She was a sadistic freak who didn't care a thing about him, except how he tasted and if he could make her feel better by harming him. She treated the whole thing like it was some sick game. She didn't have any kindness points on her side at all so why... why did he want to help her?

He turned his head to look at her.... and nearly fell off his own table. "Ratchet!" he exclaimed, grabbing the medic's arm.

"What?" Ratchet looked annoyed, as if he didn't want any interruptions in his work.

Prowl pointed at the the other table. "She's gone!"

Because Shadowstar had bitten Ratchet and obtained his energy the EMP hadn't done much besides zap some of it and knock her out temporarily. She'd come to after the big green robot had deposited her on the table. She'd waited for him and Optimus to leave before she moved. She flew quietly away, her optics focused on Prowl and Ratchet. The medic and the ninja. Ones who tried to help her because they wanted something from her. It wouldn't be long before they realized she was gone.

Specimens were too valuable to lose.

No matter.

She'd put enough distance between them that they wouldn't be able to find her down there. The basement was bigger than the upstairs. She'd hide out down there until she was ready to make her move. She'd wait until dark and teach them all a lesson.

Especially you, Prowl, she thought. I'll teach you to tell me that I'm not being honest. How would you know? You weren't there! You only know what I've allowed you to see. There's more to it than that! She calmed herself down by letting images of what she planned to do play through her processor. How much pain can you endure, my dear? How would you like if I tried other places?

Ratchet stared at the empty examining table, too shocked to comment. He thought for sure that the EMP would knock her out for a long time but it had hardly kept her offline for more than half an hour.

It seemed he'd taken the device for granit or maybe he'd just had the setting too low.

Either way he didn't care. It wasn't important right now. He didn't want to chance another attack by that thing. So he helped Prowl to his feet and they went upstairs and to the repair bay where he finished fixing him there.

Prowl was obviously not happy about it. He wanted to look for her. Ratchet advised against it. Prowl was still too damaged to go vampire seeking. "Hold still!" he ordered when he had the cyber ninja on the examining table. Prowl kept on trying to get up. "I can't repair you if you're going to wiggle around like a hyper active sparkling."

The cyber ninja followed his advice but it took effort. He didn't want to femme to get away. Who knew where she had gone? She might be hiding in the shadows, waiting to pounce again. He'd already taken enough punishment form her. He didn't want to go through it so soon.

So soon? You mean never.

Yeah, never.

It bothered him that part of him wished for another encounter. That feeling had come unbidden and unwanted. It hadn't started showing up until after he'd touched her spark. But that didn't answer his question either. He didn't know why a part of him wanted her to do it again. Maybe that part figured he deserved what she was giving him.

That makes no sense. Why would I deserve it? No answers came. He focused on the larger part of himself who didn't want it to happen. The part that dreaded another encounter, the part that figured, if she was going to hide she might as well leave instead of wait for another chance.

But this was Shadowstar he was thinking about. From the little he knew of her she enjoyed dishing out punishment. It gave her pleasure. She'd rather get her kicks from beating him up than by taking advantage of him. She'd had plenty of chances for that. But she never did. She just did that blasted in your face thing where she nearly kissed him. What was with that?

What would happen if she did?

This is stupid. Next time we clash she won't even think about doing that, not after what I told her. Maybe she'll give it some thought. I know I am right... if she just let it go it wouldn't hurt so much.

I was only trying to help her.

But she never asked for it.

A short time later Ratchet finished up with Prowl's repairs. When he was done the cyber ninja sat up. The medic saw the look on his face. "Just forget about going after her," he told him. "She's stuck down there anyway. There's no other way out of the basement but by elevator. She couldn't get out even if she wanted to."

"But she can fly," he pointed out.

"Not through concrete," the older transformer informed him. "If she tries she'll only damage herself. I don't think she wants that since she doesn't have any way of repairing herself. She has to conserve energy."

That sounded logical. She couldn't get out and he honestly didn't want to have another run in. Much as he wanted to have her under some kind of confinement being locked in the basement was just as good. Even better since it allowed her to move around. Lots of space down there.

So let it go. She can't get out and thus she's under control. No more worries.

Yeah, no more worries.

He sighed. "What am I doing?" he asked out loud. "Why am I even bothering?

Ratchet didn't ask him what he meant. He already knew. "You're just doing what you think is right," he told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You want to help her, even though she doesn't want it. Most other transformers wouldn't give someone like her the time of day if they'd gone through what you have. It's not your fault she rejected it. Don't be too upset about it." he let his hand drop and turned away from him. "Some people are like that. From what I know about her she's lived so long with people who took things from her that being given something with no strings attached makes her suspicious."

"But will she ever understand that we only wish to help?"

Ratchet shook his head. "I don't know," he said honestly. "If you want my honest opinion. No. I don't think she ever will."

Prowl frowned. He should have come to that conclusion himself. She'd dropped enough hints. Maybe he thought because she'd showed him some of her past that that meant she was pleading for help without admitting it. It sure felt that way.

I still think it is. He pushed himself off the table and stood on the floor. He looked at Ratchet for a moment then started for the door. "I'm going to meditate," he said. A few hours in a higher plain would do him some good. He had some things to think about.

Shadowstar was trapped in the basement. She had not expected Ratchet and Prowl to take the elevator and leave so it surprised her when they did. She was caught off guard. The femme had made an attempt to keep them from leaving but nothing had happened when she shot the lift and they were never aware of it because the power was low and only a small bolt of energy hit it. She now sat on the floor, her hand absently running over the dried mech fluid beside her. The stuff had long since lost any kind of energization. It was useless. In her other hand she held the throwing star Prowl had dropped. She threw it in the air then caught it. She looked at the golden surface thoughtfully then threw it again. Caught it again.

Until she came up with a plan to get out of the basement she would just sit there and think. Her thoughts returned to what Prowl had said like they were magnetically hardwired into her processor. His words wouldn't leave her alone. They brought up memories she'd tried to erase, ones that would have been better never drudged up again. What had she been thinking, letting him see even a small part of them? Why did they affect him differently?

What does he know anyway?

A lot it seems, a voice in her head spoke up. The voice of Reason.

What is that supposed to mean?

He's right you know, it said. You're just using your old problems as an excuse to act the way you do.

That's a lie!

Is it? Just admit it. You're not over any of that. You're still obsessing over it. You might try to keep it out of your mind but you can't.

Yes I can.

No you can't. It's what made you the way you are. If none of that happened you'd be different. You wouldn't be so bitter.

Everything would be different if my creator had given me a full spark! she argued.All I want is a full spark! Those slagging Autobots are keeping me from my one desire. To become normal. They just want to study me. They don't care about my plight. They only care about that slagging virus! She clenched a fist. I'm not going to let them get away with it. Especially that cyber ninja. If it wasn't for him none of this would have happened.

Maybe you shouldn't have become so obsessed with him.

Shut up! She shook her head, trying to remove the thoughts. This time she missed the star and it clattered to the floor. She quickly retrieved it. Why should it matter if I'm obsessed with him? I haven't met anyone like him before. Something about him draws me to him. I want him as much as he doesn't want me.

But you can't have him, the voice pointed out. You're bonded to another. If you take this Autobot that bond could become broken. The one who holds your spark would not be happy if he ever found out how you feel. If he asked would you lie?

Why did the voice have to bring that up? It didn't have anything to do with her current situation.

Would you lie? it insisted.

She did not know. I will never see him again. He was a part of that. I am free from that. I can do what I want now. I can even change, though why would I want to? Others pain is my pleasure. Once I get a whole spark maybe I won't give that up. Maybe I'll make it my life, use it to get information like my old position had let me. I know of plenty of Autobots I could do it to. Some of them seem to desire it. But there's only one who would not enjoy it. He's the one I want.

The one you can't have. The one you never should have lusted after from the beginning. The one who points out the truth and makes you realize that you're making excuses for what you are.

"What I am is who I choose to be," she said out loud. "I learned how to enjoy others pain by watching my Master. The pain he gave me he enjoyed inflicting. Not just on me but others. Starscream... Blackarachnia.. Blitzwing.." the last name caused a slight jolt in her spark. "I chose to use the same tactic for my own gain." she touched her spark chamber. "I took it and made it my own. Why should I be the only one to suffer? Why shouldn't the ones who began the hurt in the first place not feel my agony? Autobots. I thought they could help me. They did not wantto help me, even when I cried for it, begged for it." her optics dimmed. "They would have none of it. They just wanted to study me. Study the feral vampire Neutral. Take her apart. Fill her with viruses. See how much she can take before her sparks dies out." she slammed her fist against the concrete floor. "Treat her like her life did not matter! But the Decepticons... Megatron... he said he could save me. All he needed was the All Spark. He would do this if I pledged my loyalty to him."

She laughed out loud. "So I did! I pledged my whole freedom away! Pledged to him and lost my soul!" she looked at her hands, they were stained with Prowl's blood, like half of her body. She'd fallen in it when Ratchet had knocked her out with the EMP. "I gave up everything to become like this!"

You sound like you regret it?

She laughed again, this time quietly. "Maybe I do. But then... I would not be here if it wasn't for them. I still believe he can do it. Hecan make those Autobots pay for the way they treat those that are not their own. I want him to do that. I want it all to end. I want them to die."

And yet you can't kill one of them. Prowl. The cyber ninja. What is it about him that makes you hesitate?

"That is simple. He is different. Everything about him is. The way he tastes, the way he acts. The more he resists me the more I want him." she thought about that statement then admitted. "In fact I enjoy his resistance. I welcome it."

You love him. the voice said bluntly. That's what it is. You love him so much you don't. And because you feel that way about him you can't go through with the things you've longed to do.

What is love? she asked herself. What does it really mean? This is not love. It is lust. They are two different things.

You want him to help you. the voice insisted.That's what it is. Not lust. You want him to help you but you don't. None of the other Autobots ever offered to do that so sincerely. He is willing to help you become normal but you don't want that. Admit it. You like being the way you are. It's what makes you you.

Absurd. She stood. "I don't have time for this. I wouldn't even be thinking such things if I didn't let myself become involved with that cyber ninja. Now I'm doubting my own intentions. I don't need that." She had to get her mind off her own doubts. Off what the voice was making crystal clear.

She walked toward the elevator and put her hands on her hips as she looked up at the ceiling. She scrutinized it for a moment. "There's got to be a way out of this basement." She activated the thrusters in her feet and shot toward the ceiling. "Let's see."

When she reached the ceiling she ran her hand across it, searching for anything that she could use to get out. Two of her fingers found a crease in the metal plates where the elevator come through. She gently inserted her fingers between the plates and yanked. They opened slightly, revealing the dark gray ceiling of the plant's first floor. She smiled. Perfect.

It was starting to get dark out. Prowl could tell without even activating his optics. When the sun went down the heat on his frame would begin to seep off, leaving a slightly cold sensation behind. He shivered, though the cold didn't really bother him. The cold feeling he'd felt came from somewhere else, almost as if something was creeping up on him and his body could feel the energy of the alien being even though he heard nothing.

He turned his head, his optics probing the shadows for anything out of place. Nothing. Nothing was there. No enemy. No vampire femme... No Shadowstar.. He was just paranoid, expecting her to somehow escape her confinement and attack him.

It's not going to happen.

He told himself that but he didn't believe it. Part of him was hoping she would. Maybe if she did their next encounter wouldn't be so painful. maybe he could still help her in some way.

But what way would that be?

Stop it!

Ratchet was in the med bay. He was giving himself a self examination, running a scanner over the bite marks on his neck. He'd told Prowl the energy vampire wasn't likely to give him the virus but he wasn't sure. She was a wild card, crazy as machine that spend too many stellar cycles in the near magnetized ions. He couldn't put it past her. Not with her past. Not with all the things she'd had to deal with. Not with how her personality had been molded into that sick, sadistic feral dominator.

She would not do it to me. I am not Prowl, he thought. She is obsessed with him. She wants him to be her servant, wants to control him. It felt so strange to be thinking that but he knew that was the case. He was the only one who knew exactly what it was. He'd seen that kind of creature before.. I don't think she'd have the same desire for myself.

But you don't know. She seems to be bothering you just as much.

She just doesn't want me to help her, that is all, he calmly pointed out this fact.I don't understand why. If I can figure out how to remove all the viruses Perceptor put into her system I might be able to find some way to complete her spark. He sighed. But how can I when she keeps trying to kill me? Maybe Prowl was right. She doesn't trust me. She thinks I want something from her. But he did not want anything from her. He never would.

"Hello, Doctor." a soft voice whispered from behind him.

Ratchet jumped, spinning around and nearly falling over himself when he saw the speaker.

Shadowstar, her sleek black and red frame marred by the dried robot blood covering her left side like war paint. Even her face of dark beauty was splattered with it. She had her hands on her hips and her legs parted slightly. Her red optics burned into the medics blue ones, almost as if she was trying to hypnotize him. "Were you thinking about me?" she asked, her voice still low but the softness had hardened.

Ratchet could not answer her. He just stared, wondering how in the world she'd gotten out of the basement. He couldn't think of any way she could. The only way out was the elevator... She couldn't have.

She walked toward him, her steps slow and full of purpose. "Don't bother trying to figure out how I escaped that dirty cage," she told him. "If you can't you never will." she raised her hand, showing off the gun painted the same colors as her frame. "In a matter of seconds that won't be important to you anyway."

A/N

What? I don't know what I'm doing either. I can hear their voices in my head except Shadowstar's. I can't give her any voice but my own which doesn't fit her.

I realize I haven't updated this fic in awhile. Well I got writer's block and nothing was coming.

I still don't know how I'm gonna end this but I know I don't have much left. This chapter was a bit more adult centric, sorry. But still no smut, just some inuendo. I don't know. When it comes to this story my mind goes beyond kid friendly. I'm disgusting, I know. That's just how it is.

Oh I give up. When it ends it ends.