Disclaimer: I don't own FMA…. Still hoping for Christmas

"ELRIC BROTHERS! I HAVE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE SECRET! OH, IT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE!" I heard Armstrong storm into the room. He walked over to the Elric brothers, and sparkled. He ACTUALLY SPARKLED! I never thought that would happen…. But that's all I needed as a distraction!

"Major," Ed and Al said, paling at Armstrong's enthusiasm. I snickered as he stormed up to them, with guilty looking Maria Ross and Denny Brosh peeking in. Ed and Al looked at me worriedly, but I waved them off.

"I know philosopher stones are made of humans," I said nonchalantly ,"And I know the government was conducting research that involved human lives. You don't need to hide from me what I already know." Ed and Al were staring at me, once again. I stared them back right in the eyes.

"How did you know?" Ed and Al asked. I shrugged.

"Easy. Government wants a lot of power, philosopher stones have it. Government researches philosopher stones, and BOOM! They have human transmutation. Human souls make more sense than sunlight, guys," I sighed, "I mean really, what is more potent than a human soul?" Ed and Al were speechless. They must be thinking they were missing the truth this whole time, I thought, snickering.

"THE MILITARY SHOULDN'T BE REASERCHING SUCH HORRID THINGS!" Armstrong exclaimed dramatically. We all sweat dropped.

"Yeah, but where would they do such experiments?" Ed said curiously. My spine tingled. I was at this part. Damn it! Why is the world so cruel as to drop these things on me so quickly?

"Maybe at one of the research labs in Central," Armstrong suggested. Ed nodded, thinking deeply.

"Major," He said, turning to Armstrong, "Can you get us a map of all the Central labs?"

"OF COURSE, IF ITS FOR YOU TWO DEDICATED BROTHERS! I WILL BE BACK TOMORROW WITH THE MAP!" Armstrong said, giving the Elric brothers a giant bone-crushing hug before turning to me.

"OH! And who might this wonderful lady be?" He asked. Crap, I thought, he noticed me.

"I'm Lynette La'va, I'm a new state alchemist working under Colonel Mustang," I said, saluting. Armstrong laughed while the brothers sweat dropped.

"Wrong hand!" Armstrong laughed, but continued, "It's very nice to meet you. But, might I ask, how old are you?"

"Oh me? I'm twelve," I said.

"Letting another child in," He muttered solemnly, but lit up once again, "But do you know if you are younger than Ed was when he entered the military?" Armstrong asked.

"No, actually, I don't," I said, turning to Ed, "When is your birthday and when did you take the test?"

"I was born on February 3, and I took the State Alchemist test the exact date you did." Ed said. I nodded.

"What is the date today?" I asked Armstrong.

"It's May 1. The test was on April 24." Armstrong informed me. I nodded gleefully.

"My birthday is April 18, and I just turned twelve…. HAHAHA! I'M THE YOUNGEST STATE ALCHEMIST HAHAHA! I'M YOUNGER THAN YOU! THAT'S AWESOME! I'M OFFICIALLY THE YOUNGEST STATE ALCHEMIST THERE EVER WAS!" I yelled happily, running around the room like a maniac and laughing really hard and slightly crazy. I did my victory dance, and everyone in the room sweat dropped, looking at me like I was insane. Well, maybe a BIT….. Okay, I was…..

"Well, anyway, I was just stopping by to say hi," I said, stopping abruptly and facing the Elric brothers.

"I'll come and check on you guys tomorrow, alright? I need to tell you something." I said, walking closer to them. I gave Al a big hug, being careful not to impale myself on one of his spikes, and turned to Edward, and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'll tell you tomorrow," I whispered, my lips slightly brushing his ear, loud enough so only us two could hear. I could see Ed blush as I quickly pulled away, saying goodbye to Armstrong, Maria, and Denny as I strode out of the apartment building. It had stopped raining.

Oh, well, good for me, I thought as I cheerfully pranced down the street, pulling out my map and glancing at it as I tried to solve the maze that was Central.

"UGH! Such a bother!" I said, thumping down on my bed, rereading a note Hughes brought back for me from Central Command. It was from Mustang.

Lynette,

I am currently being moved to Central. I'll move in about a week, and I have permission to keep you there with me, along with the others that work under me in East City. I request you stay with Lieutenant Colonel Hughes until I arrive, and I will give you your State Alchemist watch and give the required information. That's when you will start receiving missions. I'll be in Central soon, so don't get into any trouble.

Roy Mustang

I mean, the letter was alright. It's just the side note really pissed me off. It read:

P.S. I'm looking forward to see you finally salute with the right hand!

"Geez," I muttered, throwing the note on the bedside table. "How the hell am I supposed to remember it's the right hand?" That's when an idea hit me. I ran out of the room, through the hallway, living room, and into Hughes's office, knocking on the door.

"Come in," I heard Hughes say, and I swiftly opened the door. I speed walked over to his desk, stopping abruptly in front of Hughes.

"Do you have an ink pen I could use?" I asked hurriedly, surprising Hughes. He looked at my questioningly while retrieving an extra feather pen and inkwell, handing them to me carefully.

"Be careful," Hughes cautioned, "That's permanent!" But I was already gone by the time he finished. He sighed heavily as the door shut behind me, shaking his head.

I rushed back into my room, putting the inkwell on the bedside table and using my left hand to dip the feather pen into the inkwell. I then slowly and steadily wrote on my right hand, thankful my left hand writing was pretty neat.

My right hand now read "Saluting Hand" in permanent ink. I grinned at my marvelous thought, patting myself on the back as I set down the feather pen across the rim of the inkwell and grabbed Mustang's letter from the bedside table. I reread it again, and smirked.

"Well, -complex, who's the smart one now?" I taunted the letter. Realizing I was talking to myself again, I sighed and muttered, "I really got to stop doing that." While throwing my letter like I'd throw a ninja star.

"Ouch, damn it….." I heard a quiet voice say. Jolting up, I looked around, startled. I saw the glint of something red and I looked over to where I threw the letter. And, sitting there by the letter, was Frosty.

"YOU CAN TALK?!" I yelled, grabbing Frosty and holding him up to my eye level. Frosty looked right back into my eyes with it's ice blue ones, before turning away and closing it's eyes.

"Damn…" I saw Frosty's lips move slightly as I heard him utter those words. I stared at him, my eyes wide, gaping with my mouth opening and closing like a retarded fish.

"My cat is talking…He's talking….It's not real…. I've gone crazy…." I whispered to myself, but I'm sure Frosty heard. Frosty shot a sudden glare at me, narrowing it's gray blue eyes.

"I'm very much real, thank you," Frosty shot back. I just stared at him, ignoring the glare.

"Who are you? What are you?!" I said loudly, loud enough for Frosty to wince from his super hearing. He glared again.

"Isn't it obvious?" He said, irritated. Now that Frosty spoke clearly, I feel like it's farmilar somehow…..

"Are you a chimera?" I asked unsurely. Maybe a chimera from the show? But I didn't remember any cat chimera…. Especially one that looked exactly like a normal animal that could understand human speech….

"Dumbass," Frosty said, wiggling out of my grip and jumping on the floor. It sat, but then something happened.

Red light flashed as it started to change.

My eyes widened to their maximum width, and I stared at the grinning form now in front of my, shocked beyond belief.

A humonculus. And not just any humonculus.

Envy.

Hey guys! OHH MY FLIPPIN GOD I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS! SOO LONG! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I bet no one was expected this! Frosty disappeared for a reason because if you've seen the show you'd know what he was doing. Some stuff makes sense, now, right? Now, who wouldn't find that their cat was actually Envy not shocking? I cant wait till the next chapter! And, as I promised, This chapter was lighter, and funnier. I owe elysenjazz for the saluting hand idea. That was just what I needed! Thanks!

But this chapter I tried to make longer, and I think it was pretty long. And it was humorous. So, what do you think?

My lovely readers, please review~

Thanks!