Alexandra knew that she had to give Negan his space. Going after him would only push him farther away and she knew during an emotional moment some times people needed to be left alone to deal with it in their own way.

"Mommy it's raining." Lucy looked up from the toys she was playing with on the living room floor and pointed toward the window.

"Mom." Joseph was pronouncing his words better by the day and held his arms upward as he made his way to the couch.

Alexandra quickly scooped him up and then ran her hand over the top of Lucy's head. She glanced out the window and heard the rain beginning to pelt down with more force against the roof and the windows. "It is, isn't it?"

"Where's Dad?"

"He's outside working honey."

"In the rain?" Lucy popped up to her feet and climbed onto the couch, placing her hands on the wooden window ledge.

"It's warm." Alexandra kissed the top of her head, "He'll be okay. He's probably on his way home."

Sarah slowly took the stairs. "Do you want me to go look for him?"

She shook her head. "No. I wouldn't send you out in the rain." Before Sarah could give her input Alexandra managed a smile. "I know you probably want to for a little adventure but you're staying put."

She sighed. "Alright. I might go back upstairs. I've been working on a drawing."

Alexandra smiled. "Really?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah."

"Of what?"

"I'll show you when it's done." She smiled and hurried back up to her room.

Alexandra looked back out the window and Joseph streaked invisible lines down the glass with his finger, tracing a rain drop that slid down.

Lucy sighed and looked at her mother. "Is he going to be back before bed?"

"I hope so honey." She smiled, "Am I no fun?"

She shook her head and looked back out the window, making Alexandra smile again. "Why don't we watch the Scooby Doo cartoon that Annie gave us?"

Lucy's posture perked up with some interest. "Okay."

"Okay." Alexandra helped her turn around on the couch before she plopped down and then sat Joseph beside her while she closed the curtains. She made her way to the television and reached for the DVD that was still sitting on top of the stand from the last time they'd watched it.

When Joseph yawned as she got the movie up and running Alexandra knew it would only be a matter of time before he would drifting off to sleep against her with Lucy not far behind. She secretly hoped that at least one of the children would stay up. There was no better company to have, particularly when she had no idea where Negan had gone off to or why he hadn't come home.

When Lucy reached for a blanket and cuddled up against her, Alexandra knew the battle to stay up was just about over for her children. Joseph had already gone from wide-eyed watching the television, to heavy-eyed to fast asleep in the matter of twenty minutes.

"I want a dog," Lucy said with a yawn.

Alexandra smiled. "I wish I could get you one honey. We could name him Scooby." She alternated between watching the show and looking at Lucy before yawning herself. The three of them were so cozy and the air was just warm enough, and the room just dark enough that Alexandra didn't even realize that she was drifting off to sleep right along with them.

...

When Alexandra opened her eyes next the rain had stopped and she could sense it was just before dawn by the faint glow from in between the curtains that looked to impede upon the dark that still clung to the sky. Lucy and Joseph slept against her on either side on the couch and there was a stiffness in her neck that made her wince as she tried to massage it out.

Joseph stirred a bit and gave her the room to scoot out from under Lucy, though she quickly grabbed a throw pillow and slipped it beneath her sleeping head before straightening up the blanket on top of her.

"Come on honey," Alexandra whispered, lifting Joseph to bring him upstairs to his bed. She glanced at Lucy who hadn't woke up and then carefully made her way up the stairs to lay Joseph down. As she went she glanced into her bedroom and when Negan wasn't there she felt a twinge of panic and paranoia. She knew, however, that someone would have informed her if something out of the ordinary had happened.

Alexandra peeked into Sarah's room next through the open door and when she saw her sleeping she moved on to place Joseph in his bed, kissing him once, before going back out into the hallway.

"Alex!" Sarah whispered her name and sat up in bed.

"Go back to sleep."

"Where's Negan?"

Alexandra didn't know who to respond. "I'm going to find out."

"Want me to watch the kids?"

"They're both sleeping." She waved her back down but Sarah tossed the covers to the side and slowly climbed out of bed with a head of messy hair. "You don't have to get up."

"It's okay," Sarah said with a yawn, prompting Alexandra to cross the room and hug her.

"You're a superhuman," Alexandra told her with a smile, continuing to hug her before pulling back. "I'll be back."

"Don't rush." She smiled and made her way down the stairs quietly behind Alexandra. "What time is it?"

Alexandra made her way into the kitchen in search of a light jacket and grabbed one off the back of a chair. "It's five-thirty." She smiled again at Sarah, "I owe you some driving lessons."

Sarah grinned. "I'm getting good."

"I've heard." Alexandra sighed, "I'll be right back." She made her way out the front door and shivered from the morning chill, taking in the damp surroundings. It was still mostly dark and so it was hard to see the progress that had been made where there had been a hole in the wall. Before she got all the way to the front, she passed Jack as he was leaving his post from the night before.

"Hey Alex," he said, tipping his mouth up in a half-smile, "Coming to check out the handy work at this early hour?"

Alexandra smiled, relieved at his calm demeanor. "How is it?"

"Doesn't look pretty but it's patched up."

"That's the important thing," she said with a nod and then looked at him more directly. "Where's, uh... where's Negan?"

Jack shrugged and raised his eyebrows. "I... I don't know." He narrowed his eyebrows. "He's not home?"

Alexandra swallowed hard, "No. He left last night to help out with the wall." She looked him up and down when he scratched his head and looked around. "There's no one over at the wall right now."

"Well, did he... switch places with you up in the guard tower?"

"No." Jack shook his head. "Casey and Mikey are up there."

Worry began to take over her. "Okay... well..." She looked around, "Is anyone still up?"

"No one's been working on the wall since about two or three this morning." Jack looked down at his wrist watch.

Alexandra tried not to let him see her concern. "Okay, um... thanks." She turned to go but he reached for her arm.

"I'll help you look for him. Maybe he... I don't know maybe he crashed at Matt's or something." Jack looked at her again, "He never came home?"

She shook her head and knew she couldn't hide what she was feeling now.

"I'm sure it's fine," Jack told her, "Come on. We'll look around."

"Thanks." Alexandra felt herself becoming more anxious with each minute that passed as they walked. Jack shined a flashlight around, scanning the center of town and then checking the medical building. The two of them made their way to the barn area next and Alexandra looked around. "Where could be? I saw his truck out front. He didn't leave. He doesn't drive anything else." She thought out loud, "I guess he could have..."

"No one left," Jack informed her, "I was up there all night."

"So he's here somewhere." She put a hand on her forehead and looked up as Matt and a few members of the farm staff headed in their direction.

"Matt!" Alexandra ran up to him, looking at each of the others individually to see if Negan was in their company but he wasn't. "Matt, where's Negan?"

"Negan..." He looked to Jack for a moment and then back to Alexandra, "He's..." Matt shrugged but showed concern. "I don't know."

"Jesus." She shook her head.

"When did he leave the house?"

"Last night," Alexandra informed him, "To work on the wall. Did you see him?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, he..." He thought back to their last conversation, "He only stayed for about ten minutes and I told him to go home."

"He never came home."

"He asked for something to drink, I think to take the edge off. He seemed like something was bothering him."

"Yeah..." Alexandra put a hand on her forehead. "Did you give him a drink?"

"I sent him to Annie because I was working on the wall. She said she gave him a bottle of something."

"Did he stay at your place?"

Matt shook his head. "No. I was just there."

"Shit."

"There's no reason to get upset yet," Jack told them. He nodded, "Let's make our rounds."

Alexandra felt a heat form in her face and she followed Jack as Matt excused himself from the company of the farmers to join them.

"We can start knocking on doors," Matt said. "He has to be somewhere."

"In someone else's house?" She shook her head but thought of Nancy, "Maybe he had too much to drink and Nancy took care of him." Alexandra prayed that's what happened and was tempted to pass everything up to go to Nancy's house but Matt pointed up ahead and walked by them.

He squatted down, picking up the bigger pieces of shattered glass, remnants of the bottle Annie had given to Negan. "This is what my wife gave to him."

"Negan!" Alexandra shouted his name now and looked around in the darkness. "Shit, Matt, where is he?" She took in a deep breath, "Screw it. I'm going to Nancy's."

Jack echoed her call several times, "Negan!"

When a light went on the house across from where they stood Jack pointed. "Someone's up."

Alexandra whipped around and hurried toward the front door with the two men behind her. "Maybe they just heard us yelling out. Who lives here?" She took the set of stairs that led to the small porch and saw that the big door was already opened, though a screen sat in between the outside and the inside. "Hello?" she called out.

"Coming!" a young woman's voice called lightly before she appeared at the door.

Before Alexandra could say anything she looked over the woman's shoulder and saw Negan enter the main room from somewhere in the back of the house. A white t-shirt was draped over his bare shoulders and he immediately made eye contact with Alexandra.

She knew her jaw must have dropped to floor but she couldn't say anything and simply shook her head before turning away and going back down the stairs past Jack and Matt.

"Alex!" he shouted after her, "Alexandra!"

Alexandra didn't know what to think or feel and assumed the absolute worst at that moment as she heard the screen door open and close. She didn't know whether to continue on or freeze in place and so she closed her eyes and stopped. For the first time she had no interest in hearing what he had to say.