Author's Note: I'm back! I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, if you celebrate that. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this collection. It's such a blast to write! I'm not sure how many prompts I have left, but it will be enough to finish off this year with a hurt!Sam bang.

The next prompt comes from Shannanigans who requested, "I'd love to see a story set in season 1. How about New Year's Eve after losing Jess? Sam is terribly sad and surrounded by revelers and drinks. Perhaps he overdoes it and ends up in the ER on the worst possible night (trust me, I speak from experience!) Awesome Dean is awesome, of course!" Indeed, awesome!Dean is great! I haven't written a New Year's story in a long time and of course, Sam/Jess is one of my favorite things to write, so thank you for the awesome prompt! Please enjoy!

"When the bells all ring and the horns all blow

And the couples we know are fondly kissing

Will I be with you or will I be among the missing?"

—Diana Krall, "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve"

Sam shouldn't be here.

This is, after all, a bad idea.

Around him, the patrons in the bar continue their revelry, laughing and joking. They have something to celebrate, be it love, newfound friendship, or just the joy of being young and being alive.

What does Sam have to celebrate? Being back in the hunting fold? Watching his girlfriend—his would-be fiancée—burn to death on the ceiling of their apartment?

He takes a long sip of the beer in front of him—his second tonight—and wonders why the hell he's even here. He'd wanted to stay home and bury himself in research or even work on finding their MIA father, but no, Dean had put his foot down and before Sam knew it, he was being dragged to the local bar.

And here he is.

Dean is mixing it up with the crowd, of course. His brother has always managed to fit in no matter where they go. It's a talent of his, to be able to blend into whatever situation their job required. Dean has the confidence to back up his lies and sometimes, Sam wonders if he even believes parts of them too.

Right now, Dean is flirting shamelessly with a brunette in a skimpy dress that barely hides her panties. She's the kind of girl Dean likes—flirty, brash, loud, and confident. His brother, whether he will admit it or not, always searches for an equal when it comes to finding a girl to hook up with. A female Dean, so to speak, and as Sam watches her bat her eyes and his brother laugh, he finds himself feeling hollow.

He shouldn't be here.

He should be at the motel, avoiding all this.

But he is here, and there is a beer in front of him, and no, he doesn't believe in drowning his sorrows, but maybe just this once he can try.

So he downs the rest of the beer and orders another one.

He just needs to escape.

Drinking seems like the logical choice.

Drinking is the worst choice he's ever made.

The nurses are all regarding with hard and unyielding gazes, whispering under their breaths about how yet another "stupid drunk partier" has wandered into their E.R. needing their help. They're stretched too thin already, he can tell, listening to slurred shouts and occasional bangs from the waiting room down the hall from his room.

He's sobered up now—having your stomach pumped can do that to you—and he's alone. He didn't realize how much he had to drink until after Dean left the bar with that girl—Loretta? Lauren?—and left him alone on tonight of all nights.

But he's not blaming Dean.

No, he made the choice to keep drinking, to push past his limit, in the hopes of dulling the pain created by her death. It was foolish of him. If Dad were here, he'd give him one hell of lecture about how stupid he'd been, but right now, Sam just wants to curl up in the fetal position and will himself to sleep.

Because Jessica is dead.

She's never going to tease him about him falling asleep at his desk again. She will never bake him chocolate chip cookies again. He'll never get to hold her in his arms again and wonder just what he did to get an angel like her in his life.

She's dead and it's his fault.

"Mr. Hagar?" A nurse stands in the doorway, her eyes more sympathetic than most. She carries his chart and she glances over it before coming to stand by his side. "Mr. Hagar, I'm Nurse Jenner."

He inclines his head ever so slightly in greeting.

"Mr. Hagar, you seem like you're more intelligent than some of the people tonight who have been admitted for over intoxication." She winks at him. "So, I have to ask this, why did you drink tonight?"

To forget.

To dull his pain.

To try and buy himself a few moments to delude himself into thinking he was back at Stanford, with her, being normal, just the two of them.

"I just . . . I lost someone."

She sighs softly and places his chart down before placing a warm hand on his shoulder. Calmly, she starts, "Mr. Hagar, I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but drinking won't change anything. It won't help you to forget. It won't dull the pain." Grimly, she adds, "If you push it too far, it will kill you. Just like it almost did to you tonight."

"I know." He replies.

"I know you know," She retorts. "I just want to make sure you won't pull a stunt like this again." She's very matronly, this nurse. She's going out of her way to check in on him and for what reason? Surely none that would benefit her.

"I won't."

"I had a son about your age," Nurse Jenner starts softly, her gaze misting. "He was a smart boy, going to be a doctor, but he started drinking and well . . ." She wrings her hands and chuckles nervously. "He was addicted to it, different than you I know, but it was only after he died that I found out why he started drinking." She meets his gaze then, emerald eyes gazing into his soul. "He was afraid of failing. He felt like he couldn't talk to me about it. Drinking was his way of gaining control."

"I'm sorry." Sam feels compelled to say, but she shrugs.

"Do you have someone to talk to, Mr. Hagar?"

He doesn't hesitate before answering, "Yeah."

She smiles then and nods, "Good." Going to the doorway, she glances back at him for a second, almost about to say something, but she thinks better of it and leaves.

"Sammy!" Dean bursts into the room, out of breath and Sam is instantly jolted awake. "Jesus, fucking, Christ! Why didn't you call me?"

"Dean, I—" Sam doesn't really have a reason to explain that. He had only regained consciousness a few hours ago and he'd been so wrapped up in his head, it hadn't even occurred to him to call his big brother.

Dean drags a chair over to Sam's bedside and his gaze narrows, "Sam, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I took you out to the bar. You weren't ready—"

"Dean, no—" Sam protests.

"And then I left you to go hook up with some chick—"

Dean's spiraling and Sam only has a few seconds to stop the shame spiral before it consumes his brother.

"Hey." Sam grabs his brother's wrist within his grasp. "It's okay."

"You're in the hospital," Dean scoffs. "How is that okay?"

"I'm in the hospital because I made a mistake." Sam insists. "I mean, I'm not a kid—"

"Are you okay?" Dean questions suddenly and Sam smiles at his big brother.

He thought, after Jessica, he was alone in this world. He assumed he would waste away because how could he live with himself after what she had been through? He didn't deserve to.

But Dean is here, with him, and for a moment, it finally feels like his whole world is clicking back into place.

Jessica is dead and gone, but Dean won't leave him.

Dean will help him.

"Are you okay?" Dean repeats and Sam holds off on his usual lie.

"I . . ." The pinprick of tears burns his eyes. "I miss Jess."

It's the first time he's said that since she's died and it opens up the floodgates. Sobs wrack him, shaking his body to its core and before he knows what's happening, Dean has him, in his arms, and he's whispering reassurances in his ear.

Maybe . . . maybe there will always be a gaping hole in his heart from Jessica being torn away from him.

But if anyone can help him heal, it's Dean.

"It's okay, Sammy," Dean whispers. "We'll figure this out."

And Sam believes him.

Author's Note: This turned out way differently than I expected, but I really like it! I hope you did too. Please review if you have a moment. Thanks!