Chapter Twenty-One
"It's a girl." Murdoch announced.
Sue fell back exhausted, a wide smile on her face.
"Is she okay? Is she crying? I want to see her." Sue's eyes sought Jack's face.
Jack stroked Sue's hair with a shaking hand. "She's beautiful, sweetheart. Let Murdoch finish. You'll see her soon. Just relax for a minute."
Sue's eyes closed.
Jack could not stop the tears as he watched Murdoch working frantically over the tiny, limp, blue body.
"Come on, baby girl. Breathe for me. You can do it, honey. Please, baby, please breathe. Don't do this to us, angel. Please, breathe." Murdoch Jamison pleaded as he performed CPR on the limp body of the tiny baby girl.
Jack closed his eyes and turned away. Unable to watch any longer. The pain in his chest was greater than any he had known before.
"Jack?" Sue's happy tone had turned worried as her eyes fastened on his face.
He opened his eyes.
"Jack, what's wrong?"
"Sue," Jack was interrupted by a weak, tentative cry. He closed his eyes as more tears slid down his face.
It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.
"Sue, is something wrong?" Jack jumped up as Sue rushed into the bullpen, carrying twenty-month old Anna Grace.
Four-year old Jackson and three-year old Wesley followed close behind her, holding hands.
Tears glistened in Sue's hazel eyes. "It's Anna Grace."
Fear gripped Jack's heart as his eyes scanned his tiny daughter, looking for any injuries.
"She said her first word."
"What?!" Jack stepped back in shock, his dark eyes widening. "What did she say?"
Sue grinned. "She picked up a picture of Murdoch and said 'Doch' or at least something close to that."
Jack grinned widely and looked toward the young agent's desk before remembering that he had sent the two rookie agents down to the archives.
"Wait until Wonder Boy hears this." Jack held out his hands and Anna Grace went to him eagerly as the rest of the team gathered around the Hudson family.
"What's going on?" Josiah asked as he and his partner entered the bullpen, each carrying a large stack of files.
"Enjoy your time in the dungeon, boys?" Myles asked, quirking an eyebrow at their dusty appearance.
The younger men simultaneously rolled their eyes and dumped the files on the nearest desk, sending up a small cloud of dust.
"So, what's up?" Josiah asked again.
"Our little Miss Sparkles said her first word." Bobby's dimpled smile filled his face.
"Really?" The eyes of both young men lit up. "What did she say?"
Sue turned to Murdoch. "She picked up a picture of you and said 'Doch.'"
The group watched as an array of emotions crossed the normally stoic face of their young genius.
Jack nudged Anna Grace's head up from his shoulder and pointed toward Murdoch.
The toddler turned and her Hudson eyes lit up.
"Doch!" She lisped out, lunging out of Jack's arms to Murdoch.
A cheer erupted as Murdoch hugged the toddler tightly. As the celebration quieted down the young man shifted the little girl in his arms and pointed at Jack.
"Who's that?" He spoke and signed, then tapped Anna Grace's mouth. "Use your voice."
"Da, Daddy."
It had been a brutal month. Beginning with a serial killer case on a college campus and ending with the abduction of five-year old twin girls. An abduction which had resulted in the death of one of the girls only an hour before they were rescued.
The team was picnicking in the park, enjoying some much need downtime together.
"Jack." Sue nudged him with her elbow.
"Hmm." He mumbled from his place beside her on the blanket.
"Jack, look." Sue nudged him insistently.
Jack groaned and forced his eyes to open.
Rising up on his elbows, he followed Sue's pointing finger to where Murdoch sat on the ground by the sandbox a short distance away with Anna Grace standing in front of him a delighted smile on her face.
Jack's exhausted eyes softened and a fond smile crossed his face as he watched the young man repeat the simple phrase and gestures he had used for the past three years every time he was with Anna Grace.
"Murdoch," he pointed to himself. "Loves" he signed 'love' "Anna Grace." Murdoch finished by pointing to Anna Grace then tickling her stomach before drawing her into a hug.
Jack and Sue watched as Anna Grace stepped back from the hug. Their breath caught as they saw their little girl raise her hand and point to herself.
"Anna Grace loves Doch!"
The emotion in the young man's blue eyes made Jack and Sue blink back tears. Three-year old Anna Grace had repeated the phrase before, but never before had she changed it to express her love.
Jack and Sue shared a glance. There was no doubt about it.
The bond between their little girl and the young agent was something incredible.
The graveside service was over. It was time to go.
But Jack could not move. His eyes fastened on the small white coffin that held the lifeless body of his daughter. He knew that if he walked away the nightmare he had been living in would become a firm reality.
When he walked away, they would put his little girl in the ground.
A movement to the side caught Jack's attention. He watched as Murdoch Jamison walked up to the coffin. The young agent rarely showed emotion. His blue eyes were normally so stoic that he had been excused of being cold-hearted. But now the young man's body was jerking and shaking uncontrollably with the force of the sobs tearing out of him. Jack watched as Murdoch gripped the edge of the small coffin. His hold on it the only thing keeping him collapsing. His silent sobs occasionally broken by a heartbroken wail.
Jack's own tears returned as he witnessed the young man's hopeless grief. He knew that he should go to him. Comfort him. Use the pain of the moment to point him to the Gospel. Offer him the only thing that was getting Jack through each moment; the hope of seeing Anna Grace again. Murdoch could have that hope if he would only turn to Christ.
Jack knew that that would be the right thing to do. Even more it would be what Anna Grace would want him to do.
But Jack could bring himself to move forward and Murdoch was left alone in his overwhelming grief.
As the last memory faded away Jack groaned and leaned forward, covering his face with his hands as tears fell from his eyes. "Oh, God, what have I done?"