A/N: I'm back with another prompt! (Hopefully it's a funny one, too!).

For those interested, I've started a new dark SSHG tale entitled, Unto Their Own, that I will be simultaneously working on along with future Untold Stories one-shots. I encourage you to check it out, if you're interested, and to let me know your thoughts.

Now, on to poor, dear Severus and Hailey... ;)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is copyrighted to and belongs to JK Rowling. I'm just playing in her sandbox and own none of her associated characters. New characters belong to me.

Woes of Womanhood

Severus is forced to deal with a rather sensitive situation.

(Prompt from Geekydork, who asked for a one-shot involving Severus having to have that conversation with one or more of his girls. It didn't quite play out that way in my mind, but since woodshark asked for a prompt about one of the girls starting their period and Severus having to deal with that, too, I sort of went in a certain direction with these two. I'll try to do a one-shot involving "the sex conversation" sometime in the future, though. Poor, dear Severus. The things you people like to do to him...)

"ACK! NO! No, no, no!"

A distraught, frizzy-haired Hailey threw her bedroom door open with a loud bang, startling Severus in the family's reading room on the level below. His ears alerted to her pounding feet, which barreled the length of the hallway and down the staircase at a rapid pace, her steps creating such a ruckus that the former spy flew out of his wingback chair as if he had just received a summoning from the Dark Lord.

Of course, there was no maniac wizard to answer to now—Thank Merlin's arse!—nor a painful pressing on his faded Dark Mark to remind him that he needed to act swiftly. Still, the clamoring from one of his children upstairs sprang Severus into action as though his very life depended upon reaching her; if not, something terrible might happen.

By the time Hailey hit the bottom step, Severus was already there to greet her, two pairs of frantic eyes meeting each other's, the darker, elder of the two gripping his wand tightly between fastened, white knuckles.

Severus appraised his startled, wide-eyed daughter with trepidation, trying to make sense of her sudden distress. "Hailey," he snarled, lowering his wand once he had assessed that there was no immediate danger, "what on earth is the matter?"

Hailey was surprised to have run into her father on the stairwell and gasped, "Oh! I..."

Unhinged by the disruption, as well as the eleven-year-old's stammer of a reply, Severus pinned the girl with a sharp, suspicious stare. "What's the meaning of this?"

Hailey's cheeks turned scarlet, her eyes quickly averting Severus's, conveying a sense of shame over something he hadn't yet uncovered. It was a sheepish response the wizard would never have missed, however.

"Hailey," Severus emphasized; she peered up at him shyly this time, "what was all that ruckus for? Why were you screaming just now?"

"It - It's nothing." Foolish answer, her expression foretold. Hailey and her siblings had learned at quite a young age that lying or even attempting to withhold a secret from their father wasn't usually worth the pains their efforts took. The cunning Slytherin managed to conjure all of their secrets out one way or another, an unfortunate skill to them.

In this case, Severus didn't need to enforce Legilimency on his bushy-haired daughter to sense that something was askew. He narrowed his eyes at her, unsatisfied with her answer. "Hailey, out with it."

"I— Where's Mum?" she surprised him by diverting his demand for an explanation.

Severus blinked, confused. "She's working late at the Ministry tonight."

"Why?" she demanded with greater urgency. "I need her!"

Severus arched an eyebrow. "Is it something that can't wait? She'll be home in half an hour, Hailey."

To this, the young witch slumped her shoulders. "I guess not..." she muttered and lowered her head.

Of course her mother had to work late on the one evening she could really use Hermione's help. At least this didn't happen at school, Hailey reflected gratefully, though she was hardly all that relieved. This hadn't exactly been how she had hoped to start the summer hols...

"Hailey?" Tentatively, and growing ever more concerned, Severus softened his gaze and reached out a pale hand to the girl, surprised when she shied away from him, turning ever redder in the cheeks. "What is it? Can't you tell me what's wrong?"

Hailey considered Severus's questions for all of two seconds. There was no way in hell she was going to come clean to her father about this matter.

"No," she clipped him with her reply and skid backwards, though she hadn't meant to be so brash. Catching the flinch Severus made at her tone of voice, as well as the withdrawal of his hand, Hailey sucked in a breath and issued more calmly, "I'll - I'll just wait for Mum upstairs."

Severus watched the witch spin on her heel and hike back up the stairs without a second glance at him. As he watched her swiftly ascend the stairs, the compulsion to follow took over and, with a low grumble, he, too, trudged up the steps behind the frazzled youth.

By the time Severus reached the second floor, Hailey had already darted into the loo at the end of the hall and locked the door behind her. Did she really think that would stop him from entering, if he so wished?

Severus glided across the hallway in two strides and knocked. "Hailey, open the door," he implored her gently, keeping his voice cool and undisturbed.

"No," she called back through the door, her insistence rather feeble, "I— Please go away!"

"Hailey, why can't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because!" she huffed louder. Severus also thought he detected her stomping her foot.

Her lost temper was enough for the wizard to lose his own nerve. Severus crossed his arms, even if his daughter wasn't directly in front of him to assess his grim reaction, and growled, "Stalling won't work on me, Hailey. Open up."

"No! It - It's embarrassing!"

"I'll unlock this door if I have to."

"DAD!" she pleaded desperately, quickly reaching a point of hysteria, much to Severus's chargin.

"I'm coming in," he warned, and, gritting his teeth, he extracted his wand a second time from inside his robes and started to raise his arm when Hailey finally conceded, though with much exasperation.

"NO! All right, Dad, all right!"

Issuing another dramatic sigh, the witch unlocked the door and propped it open a crack, enough for Severus to make out her stressed expression. A deeply set frown lined her mouth, her messy bangs masking her furrowed brow as well.

Severus patiently tucked his wand away and placed a firm hand on the door, lightly pushing against it, but it wouldn't budge. "Hailey, open this door. Let me in."

"Dad, please! It's so embarrassing!"

"Nothing that I can't handle," Severus tried to reassure the girl, who mumbled a "Want to bet?" under her breath as she caved in to her father's demands.

Severus's sharp ears picked up on his daughter's retort, but he purposely remained mum about it, instead grateful that he had finally been granted access. Hailey stepped aside and slunk onto the toilet seat, fidgeting with her hands whilst Severus closed the door, securing the loo with a Silencing Charm so that no one else might disturb or overhear them. Lily and Surina were practicing Quidditch in the backyard, whilst the youngest, Jeannie, admired and watched them play. The three might venture inside at any moment, however, and Severus was determined to get to the bottom of whatever had Hailey so distraught before the rest of the family descended upon them.

Kneeling down in front of a slouched, disgruntled Hailey, who kept her face mostly hidden, paying considerable mind to the red pajama bottoms she wore rather than the worried, hooked-nose man in front of her, Severus gently prodded her knee. Again, he was taken aback when she squirmed and tried to scoot away from his touch, keeping her hands determinedly in her lap.

"Hailey," he whispered as delicately as possible, not wishing to alarm her further, "please tell me what's the matter? Maybe I can help?"

"I doubt that," she mumbled, much to Severus's mounting frustrations.

"How will you know if you don't trust me?"

Hailey didn't like how her father sounded somewhat hurt by her secrecy. Didn't 'trust' him? That certainly had nothing to do with this horribly awkward situation. Not at all.

Slowly, Hailey eyed Severus, quietly assessing the man's concerns that were so visibly written across his face. "I told you, Dad, it's embarrassing. That's all. Can't I just wait and talk to Mum?"

"You know she'll inform me anyway of whatever's troubling you, Hailey, so why don't you simply tell me and spare us both the continued aggravation?"

Hailey frowned and turned away, pushing a few fuzzy curls out of her eyes with a burdensome sigh. "I, erm..." Her face suddenly contorted, as though she were experiencing physical pain.

Severus's eyebrows rose at her discomfort. "Are you in pain?" he questioned, looking her over as thoroughly as he could.

"Um, I... I'm not sure..."

"Where does it hurt?"

"It - It doesn't necessarily hurt as much as... Oh, bugger! Dad, please!"

Severus rolled his eyes and sneered. "Quit stalling, Hailey. I'm your father. There's nothing you can't tell me that I'll somehow find—"

Before Severus could complete his sentence, however, Hailey jumped off of the toilet seat with an exasperated huff. Lifting the lid determinedly, she stepped back and eyed her father's reaction sidelong. This is so bloody humiliating! every part of her body language conveyed from where she stood, with her rigid arms coiled tightly around herself as she awkwardly rubbed one bare foot over the other, waiting on her father to speak. No bloody pun intended!

Severus peered down into the bowl and his befuddled features eased into an expression of understanding, followed by an awkward-sounding, "Oh..." that lit Hailey's cheeks on fire. She clasped her small hands over her face, peaking through her fingers to watch the dark-haired wizard, who had gone entirely mute, slowly wave his wand in a circle. The lid to the toilet quietly fell back into place.

After a long pause, in which Hailey all but obscured her face from view with the aid of her tousled mop and clenched hands, the familiar comfort of a sturdy arm drew itself around her shoulders and tugged her closer. Chancing another glimpse between her fingers, the embarrassed youth peered up into Severus's face. He was eying her over with such an unreticent, gentle demeanor that, cautiously, she removed her hands, though she remained flushed from ear to ear.

"Well," he whispered, a ghost of a smile gracing his lips that brought Hailey up short, "that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Are you kidding?" the witch blurted out, earning a soft snort from Severus, who hugged her tighter to his chest.

"You have two older sisters, Hailey," he reminded her softly. "Do you think I haven't been through this before? That I don't know a thing or two?"

Hailey felt as if she was blushing straight to her hairline. "Dad!" she exclaimed and threw a hand up to cover one exposed ear, burrowing her face in his robes as well, much to Severus's amusement.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Hailey, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Yes, there is," she grumbled, her voice muffled by his clothing.

Severus sighed a humorous defeat. "Very well. If you'd rather wait to speak to your mother, I'll understand. Did you bleed through anything?"

Hailey moaned something Severus couldn't quite make out, so he took her response to mean a 'yes' and rolled his eyes at her, though she didn't see. He scrunched a few of her curls sweetly between his fingers, toying with the strands for a moment.

"I trust you're in need of something to remedy...this?"

Hailey chanced a glance up at him, swiping at her bangs and several strands of hair. "Erm, yes," she admitted with an anxious-ridden bite to her lower lip.

Severus shook his head at his daughter's humiliation, lifted the corners of his mouth into an amused smirk, and, gratefully to Hailey, said nothing as he doubled over to open the cupboards beneath the sink. Then he righted himself and stepped back.

"I believe you'll find what you're looking for in those cupboards," he explained and turned away to grip the door handle. "I'll leave you to it."

Hailey stepped forward, still chewing her lip, and was about to kneel down when Severus's head popped around the door. "Do you require fresh knickers as well?"

Hailey's dark brown eyes widened madly. "DAD!" she gasped in horror. "Please! Go away!"

Much to her displeasure, Severus chuckled, his laughter low and resilient in his chest. He made to shut the door behind him, but before Hailey could compose herself, the door creaked open a second time and Severus appeared again on the opposite side.

"Oh, and flush the bloody toilet, would you?" he insisted lightly, the humor glimmering in those dark eyes. "You know better than that, Hailey."

With that, Severus exited at last, leaving a freshly flustered and stricken Hailey gawking after him.

"Well, I suppose that could've gone much worse," Hermione laughed as she pulled back the heavy covers and climbed into bed, eying her husband over as she did so.

Severus was already situated and quietly reading by candlelight. Not answering right away but waiting for Hermione to settle in next to him, Severus didn't so much as glance over from his reading material. "Meaning?" he pressed, managing to sound both curious and mildly annoyed.

Hermione shot the man a wry smile. "I could've purposely stayed out the rest of the evening and left the explanations about Girls Starting Their Periods to you, you know."

"Like hell you would," Severus growled in response, earning more snickering from the witch admiring him sidelong.

"When would you actually have had the stamina to hold that conversation anyway, Severus?"

Not missing a beat, Severus flipped to the next page of his book and replied simply, "When Hell freezes over."

Hermione's humored smile broadened. She scooted herself against the reclining Slytherin and wrapped and arm around his midsection, situating her head comfortably against his shoulder.

"There's always Jeannine..."

"Over my dead body," came that low hiss she loved, the slither of a smile never touching his mouth. "That conversation I'll gladly leave entirely to you, Hermione."

Hermione's humored grin suddenly transitioned into one of reflection, her eyes momentarily becoming lost in the contortions and delicate lines of Severus's face. She suddenly swallowed and shivered against him, snuggling into the warmth of his chest, seeking solace from a certain unexplainable chill in the air.

"She's growing up... Our Hailey..."

"Yes," her husband deadpanned, still attending to his book rather than to her, "they tend to do that from year to year."

Aware that he was simply avoiding mediating over the subject of their third child not being a child anymore, Hermione returned his retort with a tenderly-rendered smile. "Oh, Severus, you know what I mean."

At last, Severus lowered his book onto his raised thighs. His gaze trailed the length of the room to the opposite wall, where it lingered for a time, his mind lost deep in thought. Clever Hermione knew exactly what Severus was thinking without him speaking a word, however, and purposely remained silent.

The hard scowl along his lips cushioned ever so slightly once he finally addressed her remarks. "Yes," he murmured at last, unconsciously leaning into her, "I do know."

A warm hand slid into one of his, the accustomed fingers coiling perfectly with his larger, calloused digits. Her thumb proceeded to rub affectionate circles into his palm, but he said nothing in return. His softened eyes flickered and trailed down to their entwined hands, so well-matched and attuned to the other's touch. He balanced his chin on top of her head, letting go of a weighty sigh he hadn't been aware of holding in.

The two remained that way for some time—Hermione staring thoughtfully at Severus and he at their woven hands—until eventually they both fell asleep, dozing comfortably in one another's arms.

Morning would bring a change neither of them was quite ready to accept but they would need to come to terms with it, nonetheless.

A/N: I apologize for the short length. Hopefully the Muse will cooperate for something longer next time!