Thank you ALL for baby name suggestions. I went with Rebecca for the baby's name mainly because it's the name of my very closest friend in all the world and because it was a suggestion here...twice! Special shout out to Olehistorian for suggestions and storyline advise. xo
Elsie smiled at him, handed him the baby. "I love you Charles. I will make no excuses and fully admit that. But I can't make a commitment right now. I hope you can understand."
Charles was crushed. He put the baby back in the crib and sat down on the edge of the bed, beside her. "Why?"
"I have to deal with Ben first. He has to come next. If I could wave a magic wand and fix that, I would. I want to be your wife." She took his hand in hers and smoothed her hand over his. "There is nothing I want more than to be with you, wake up with you, go to bed with you every night. I just have to consider what this is all going to do to him, Charles. He left three weeks after we buried his father, he's going to be back in a week, and have to adjust to life with a new baby and getting on with it."
Charles' head was down, he just listened. "I understand." He wiped at the tears threatening to fall.
Elsie's heart broke. "I love you. Please know that and trust that we will be together one day."
He nodded, not looking at her. "Listen, I need to get back." He stood and leaned down and kissed her cheek then walked to the crib and bent down. "Sweet dreams my precious girl."
"What was your mother's name?
"Pardon?" He turned to her.
"Your mother...what was her name?"
"Rebecca..." he said softly.
"Let's call her that." She said without hesitation.
Charles stood speechless for a moment then knelt down again, stroking the tiny head of his daughter. "Rebecca..." he whispered and tears filled his eyes. He walked to Elsie and bent down, kissing her lovingly on the lips.
Tears spilled down her cheeks and she reached up to pad away the tears on his face. "...my love...thank you..."
"For what?" He smiled.
"Giving me her, being here, loving us."
Charles brought her into a fierce hug, they stayed this way for a long while.
###
"Mum? Mum?" Benjamin called from outside the cottage as he was coming up the path.
Elsie heard him outside and ran to the door to greet him. "OH BENJAMIN!" She lunged into his arms and hugged him so tightly. "My lad…oh my lad!" How are you?!"
Her sister and brother in law were a bit behind as Ben had practically run from the village. They all hugged and kissed and laughed and cried inside the door of the cottage.
Ben was the first to notice Elsie's body. His face fell. "MUM? The baby?"
Elsie smiled and put her index finger to her mouth. "Shhh…." She took his hand and pulled him into the living room to the little wicker cradle. She watched Benjamin's face and smiled.
He knelt down and pulled the blanket back just a bit and started crying. Elsie put her arms around him.
"The baby came early?" Ben asked.
Elsie nodded. "You want to hold her?" He tentatively nodded yes. "Okay...sit down here, on the couch and I"ll hand her to you." Elsie bent and lifted the baby out of the crib and laid her in Ben's arms. Tears filled her eyes as he she watched the huge smile spread across his face.
"OH ELSIE! Why didn't you..." Lillian cried.
"She's only a week old Lillian," Elsie cut her off. "There wasn't time to send a post. I knew you would be here in a few days so I thought...I'd surprise everyone!" She smiled.
"What's her name?" Ben asked never taking his eyes off of his sister.
"Rebecca." She says softly.
Rebecca? Why Rebecca?" Lillian questioned curiously. "I like it..don't get me wrong...just thought you might name a girl after mother..." Lillian bent down and stroked the baby's cheek.
"It's a strong biblical name and...I just think its rather beautiful." Elsie's mind went to Charles and her heart ached.
Elsie joined Ben on the couch and put her hand on his thigh. "My sweet lad, how have you been?"
"Good..." he answered.
"Really? Have you enjoyed your time in Scotland?"
Ben was mesmerized by Rebecca and could hardly be bothered with questions. Elsie chuckled and turned her attention to her sister. She got up and went to the kitchen. "Who wants a cuppa?"
"Oh I do." Lillian removed her gloves and hat and sat at the table.
"Elsie...should I put the bags in the spare room?" Will questioned his sister in law.
"Oh yes Will, in Ben's room."
###
The cottage was dark except for 2 candles burning on the hearth. Will and Ben had gone to bed. Elsie told Ben to get in her bed. Baby Rebecca was snuggled in her crib in the living room and the two sisters talked until the wee hours of the morning.
"How are you sister? Really?" Lillian took a sip of whiskey.
"I'm okay." Elsie's countenance dropped. "As good as I can be...that little thing there has changed everything, you know?!"
Lillian smiled and glanced to where her niece was sleeping. "You...a with a new baby...at your age!" she laughed. "Sad that Joe couldn't see her. She looks nothing like Ben when he was born, huh? She's so dark and all that dark hair! Ben didn't even have hair the first year of his life!"
Elsie's stomach turned a flip. 'Was it so obvious?' She was right though. Rebecca totally had Charles' coloring and she could already see some of his features. She and Lillian were so close, they had shared everything in their life. She wanted so badly to tell her about Charles. She was her closest confidant, until Charles came along. Lillian knew that she didn't love Joe when she married him. She was aware that their marriage had been devoid of passion and desire. Lillian had even admitted to Elsie that she wished she things were different, that she could experience the type of love she and Will had always had.
Elsie was quiet for a long while, contemplating, considering the cost of telling her sister. If she didn't, it would eventually come out and Lillian would be crushed.
"Lil...there's something I need to tell you."
Lillian poured another glass of scotch. "Oooh sounds ominous sister. I wish you could join me for a drink."
"I could but then my child would be drunk! I should pass." They both laughed.
"What is it?" Lillian sits next to Elsie on the settee.
Elsie swallowed hard and lowered her head. "Rebecca isn't Joe's child," her voice is just barely above a whisper. She closed her eyes.
Lillian sat completely motionless. "What?"
Elsie finally looks at her older sister, tears in her eyes. "...the baby...she's not..."
"I heard you." Lillian downs her entirety of her drink. They sit in silence until Lillian finally speaks again. "Well...are you going to tell me anything else?"
Elsie wipes her cheeks. "9 months ago, a gentleman from the Abbey brought me home. It was when the whole county flooded...do you remember me writing about it? When Joe and Ben were in Bristol, at Market."
"Yes...go on."
"We..." Elsie brought her hand up to her mouth to stop the rush of emotion. "OH Lillian it's so complicated yet really so simple. We fell in love...I can't tell explain what happened, really."
"Who is he? Surely not one of the family?"
"No. He's the Butler, Charles Carson."
"Hmmm...okay."
"Oh Lil...I've never felt love like this. I've never felt so needed and wanted. He wantsme...really wants me... He is so kind and tender and loving." Tears fill her eyes and she smiled. "We didn't plan it Lil...we didn't set out to do something immoral. I never wanted to hurt Joe." She covered her face with her hands. "...or Ben...oh God Ben..."
"Are you sure it's love honey? I mean...I know it's been lonely with Joe. I know he never knew how to love you...not really. But...sometimes those feelings can be so convoluted when you're lonely, when you need the touch...of a man."
Elsie felt anger rising in her. This was the thing about Lillian riled her more than anything else. She was older and she somehow just had a way of making Elsie feel ignorant and inferior. She loved her but she hated this about her.
Lillian perceived Elsie's reaction before she spoke. "Elsie...I'm not saying it's not love. I'm just trying to help you sort through..."
"There is no need to sort through my feelings Lillian! I love Charles. If there is such a thing as soul mates, he is mine. And if you think about it, this isn't a passing ship in the night, nine months has passed and I love him more today than the first.
"Did Joe know?"
"No." Elsie crossed her arms defensively.
Lillian chuckled slightly. "What a break you and...what was his name...Charles? caught..."
Elsie's mouth dropped open and she glared at her sister. "How dare you!"
Lillian rolled her eyes, she was a little drunk and her inhibitions were down. "Well..is it not? A lucky break? You have an affair, get pregnant and your poor none the wiser husband is killed just before the baby is born."
"Are you suggesting something?" Elsie was seething, trying to contain her emotion.
"Of course not Elsie...don't be silly! I just mean...you've been spared a scandal...right?!"
"I shouldn't have told you." Elsie starts to cry.
"Why? Because you don't want to hear what should be said? I love you sister, I do, but this is huge. What about Ben? Clearly he doesn't know a thing! Do you realize how much that lad loves you? How much he relies on you?" Lillian has softened her tone, her heart truly breaking for her sister.
The baby's piercing cries pulled them both from the intensity of the moment. Elsie went to pick Rebecca up, holds her close, still crying. She sits again and begins to nurse.
Lillian smiles and leans over and kisses the baby's head. "Oh sister..." she gives Elsie a loving look.