Chapter 20: Spiritual Crisis

"Now that I've reconnected with all of you, does that mean the Avatar Spirit is okay?" Aang asked the airbending Avatar before him nervously.

"Yes, but your physical body is still injured. You need time to heal." Yangchen said, touching Aang's forehead causing their arrows start to glowing in unison. "And unfortunately, it seems your ability to enter the Avatar State has been disrupted. You won't be able to rely on your past lives to help you. You must rely on your friends. And when you wake up, you won't remember this journey to the Spirit World. It will be like a forgotten dream." The woman started to fade away. "Until we meet again, Aang."

Aang eyes glowed brightly and then they both winked shut and reopened, revealing their normal grey colour. His spiritual journey had left him feeling completely drained. The past few days were starting to catch up on him, and being on the run from Azula and forced into battle had done nothing to help improve his health. He looked up into the smiling face of the guru, his vision fading.

"What...happened..." He managed before collapsing.

Guru Pathik leaned down and gently touched Aang's forehead, smiling sadly.

"Rest, young Avatar. You need it. You have a long road ahead of you yet."

He scooped up the boy easily, which would've surprised anyone watching. It indeed surprised Iroh and Kuei when a skeletal man approached them with Aang's unconscious body in his arms.

"He is fine." Pathik said assuredly as Iroh stood, worry creasing his face. "He needs to rest, and heal."

He lay the boy down beside the fire, where he groaned and curled up.

"Bosco, go keep him warm." Kuei told his bear.

Bosco lazily yawned, then waddled beside the Avatar and lay down again, his furry back against Aang's.

"So, you are the guru I've heard so much about." Iroh said, bowing deeply. "Do you know if Aang was successful?"

"I believe he was successful in saving and re-connecting with the Avatar Spirit, but...I think he may still have difficultly entering the Avatar State. Without it, he will need to rely on his friends more than ever before."

Kuei looked to see if Iroh had understood any of this, and saw the old man nodding slowly.

"We will take good care of him." Iroh said with a smile before looking around camp and noticing Toph's absence. "By the way...you haven't seen a blind girl around, have you?"

"Toph? Ah yes, she came to me looking for something to do and I directed her to some metal to practice with. I'll go see how she's doing." Pathik said, turning.

"She will be glad to know Aang has returned." Kuei said as the ancient man walked nimbly away.

"I doubt she'd ever admit it though." Iroh chuckled.

Momo explored the depths of the rusting Fire Nation armour curiously, sniffing and crawling within helmets, breastplates, shin guards, and whatever else he came across, ignoring the triumphant grunts of Toph as she tore apart another piece of armour as though it were paper. The little lemur squealed with excitement as he spotted a large colony of glistening black slugs in the corner, leaping forward and grasping at the squirming things.

"Momo, what are you doing?" Toph asked, looking towards the direction of his cry.

The lemur extracted himself from the armour and flew to Toph, landing on her shoulder.

"Have you found something?" She asked, opening her hand.

Obediently, Momo dropped the slimy bug into her palm. Normally, Toph was not the squeamish type, but not expecting the gooey feeling creature, she let out a shriek and dropped it quickly, wiping her hand against her robes desperately to remove the slime. Startled by her loud cry, Momo leapt off her shoulder and flew in a spiraling circle to the ceiling.

"I'll get you for that, you flying rat!" Toph screamed, throwing a piece of destroyed metal into the air.

Momo wisely decided to stay airborne, and easily evaded the missile. Toph reached for the nearest piece of metal for another shot, then hesitated when she sensed the guru approaching.

"You got lucky." She said to the roof in general, completely unaware that Momo was on the opposite side of the room.

"Enjoying yourself?" Pathik asked as he entered. His sharp eyes found the large pile of destroyed armour and he grinned.

"This is great!" Toph exclaimed. "I can't wait to get to the Fire Nation and start tearing things apart!"

"Good, good. Aang has returned from his journey to the Spirit World and will be glad to hear it."

Toph hesitated in picking up a shoulder guard, then turned to look at the guru.

"Something's wrong." She said. "You're not telling me something, I can feel it."

"He is fine, as is the Avatar Spirit. But the past few days have been a trial for him and he needs his rest. He still has healing to do."

"And no Sugar Queen around to make him better." Toph grumbled.

"I believe his firebending teacher is more than capable of caring for him until then." Pathik said reassuringly. "It's getting dark and it can be quite cold in the temple at night, would you like an escort back to your camp?"

"We're not having peaches again, are we?" Toph groaned as she left the room at the Guru's side.

Momo swooped down from the rafters and landed on the guru's head, taking care to avoid the wrathful earthbender.

"I believe you'll be having bananas tonight." Guru Pathik replied enthusiastically.

Toph sighed heavily. Great. More fruit. And more boring conversations she noted as she approached the fire, listening to Iroh and Kuei talk about various dishes that could be made with bananas. The second thing she noticed as she walked into camp was Aang's unconscious form nearby, and she could sense the slow thudding of his heart and the occasional shiver from the boy.

"Ah, Toph, there you are." Kuei said happily. "Try these bananas, they really are quite something."

The blind girl wondered how far her patience would stretch with these horribly optimistic adults. Not far. But she respectfully took the banana Kuei pressed into her hand and peeled it. Bosco lifted his head as she slumped down beside him, chewing thoughtfully. They really were quite good. She sensed the guru silently leaving them, no doubt wandering off to meditate.

"So, found any tea bushes yet?" She asked, turning her blank eyes in Iroh's direction.

The old man was feeding the lemur bits of fruit, and chuckled.

"I'm afraid not, Toph. It's not warm enough up here. I do miss it." He said wistfully.

It wasn't the only thing he missed. His nephew had constantly been on his worried mind, and he was reminded of him by each of the Avatar's friends who he had gotten to know since he joined them. Toph's stubbourn nature could give Zuko's a run for his money, Sokka's determination to accomplish goals easily matched that of Zuko, Katara's outspokenness for her beliefs rivaled his sense of justice, and Aang's ability to rush into things without any thought of the consequences. Even Kuei's sensible nature reminded him of the rare times when Zuko acted in a surprisingly calm manner.

Zuko could've had real friends with these children, people he shared so much in common with without realising it (or would ever admit it - ever the proud Fire Nation royal). Iroh wondered if Zuko could ever come to realize that the Avatar was indeed his chance to return home, not as his enemy - but as his ally and friend. Perhaps getting kidnapped with Katara would make a good impression on his confused nephew.

"How did you come to be part of this little band, anyway?" Iroh asked suddenly, stealing away from his thoughts of whether Zuko would choose to join the Avatar or not.

Toph sighed and held out her banana peel to Bosco, who gently took it from her and happily started to eat.

"He fought me at an Earth Rumble tournament, and beat me by accident. He kept chasing after me, saying I was meant to teach him. I wanted to go but...I knew my parents would never approve. They thought I was a weak, pathetic blind girl who needed to be sheltered from the world, and it made me so angry. Aang didn't see me that way. He accepted me, he doesn't treat me differently because I'm blind. He was the first friend I ever had."

"So how did you convince your parents to let you travel with him?" Kuei asked interestedly.

Toph's eyes widened slightly.

"I...gave them a convincing argument."

"You ran away." Iroh guessed, smiling sadly.

"Of course I ran away!" Toph replied, standing angrily. "You don't know what they were like! They kept me a secret, they were ashamed of their blind daughter! I wanted to be free, to earthbend and travel the world! If I'd stayed, they'd have chained me to the bed and never let me earthbend again!"

She furiously raised a boulder and slammed her fist into it, sending it flying over the edge of the temple boundary. She stood shaking in the firelight, breathing hard.

"I didn't want to tell you." She said suddenly, in a quiet voice. "I didn't think you'd let me come if you knew."

The two adults frowned, confused as to whom she was speaking, until a tired voice answered.

"We would have." Aang answered quietly, not moving from his warm spot beside the bear. "You were supposed to come. I knew it. You belonged with us."

"Thank Twinkl... thanks Aang." Toph said in a small voice. She spun on her heel and pointed down at him. "But you better get healthy real soon, because I am dying of boredom here! And you're getting behind in your bending practice."

"Yes, sifu." Aang said with a tired grin.

The girl slumped down beside him, stretching luxuriously.

"So, what happened while you were gone?" She asked. "Or do you need another nap?"

Aang yawned loudly and struggled to sit up, leaning back against the bear, who was by now snoring gently. He frowned as he struggled to recall exactly what had happened.

"I...I don't know." He finally answered, staring at the flickering fire in sleepy confusion. "I don't remember anything."

"You've all had a rough couple of days." Iroh said gently. "I'm sure it'll come to you when you are ready."

"Yeah..." Aang said quietly.

He glanced at his earthbending teacher, staring blankly at the skies as though she could see forever. His gaze moved to the former Earth King, who seemed to be deep in thought, then to Iroh, who smiled encouragingly.

"But Toph is right." Iroh said, throwing a twig onto the fire. "As soon as you are recovered, we must resume your lessons."

"I know."

Toph closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

"Let's get some sleep. We all could use it." Iroh advised, smiling.

Aang nodded slowly, already feeling sleep take him over again. It didn't last long however as Aang woke up with a start, unable to recall the dream that had ripped him into wakefulness. He glanced around, and saw the full moon glowing high above. Aang stood tiredly, wincing as the wound on his back reminded him that it was still there, and intended to be as painful as possible. He wondered if his long journey through the Spirit World - the memories of which still alluded him - was affecting it. Ignoring this, he wandered away from the group.

His bare feet silently crossed the stones underfoot as he walked aimlessly to the stables. He glanced into the destroyed building, then turned away and walked up a fight of stairs, which led to a lookout, giving a spectacular view of the surrounding mountains. He sat on the railing of the balcony, one leg bent, the other hanging over the perilous drop. He was worried, very worried. He would be putting his friends in grave danger by letting them come to the Fire Nation with him. He doubted he would survive the fight with the Fire Lord as it was. He didn't want to risk the lives of his friends as well. This thought only reminded him that he still had no idea where Katara was, and he found this just as disheartening.

"Not planning on giving us the slip, are you, Twinkles Toes?"

Aang cried out in surprise and fell backwards, landing on the stones. Another cry left his mouth, this time filled with pain. Landing on his burn was not a good idea.

"Are you alright?"

He looked up to see Toph standing over him, and saw concern in her face. Toph? Worried about him?

"You scared me." He said through gritted teeth, standing slowly.

"You're still hurt." She snapped, narrowing her eyes. "You should rest."

"I don't need you to mother me." He shot back with a scowl.

Toph matched it, taking a step forward.

"Of all people, would I mother you?" She snarled.

Aang glared for a moment, then sighed and turned away.

"I can't rest. There's too much on my mind."

"Like what?"

"Like I shouldn't let you guys come with me to the Fire Nation."

Toph snorted and leaned against the railings.

"Oh yeah? And how are you going to stop us?" She reached out and prodded his chest. "No matter how great an Avatar you think you are, you still need your friends. And we won't leave you now. Not when there's a fight to look forward to."

Aang sighed, shaking his head. "I don't want you guys to get hurt. Or worse..."

"Aang, if we want to go with you, and get hurt or die, it's our decision, not yours." Toph said sharply. "We are in this together. Got that?"

Aang stared at her determined face, and found himself smiling.

"Thanks Toph."

Author's note: gah new chapter finally. i have almost next to no time for writing, so thanks so much for your patience everyone! R&Rs are always greatly appreciated.