Chapter 21: Trust Me

Zuko didn't need The Guidebook to Women's Logic in order to understand that Katara now hated him with every fiber of her being. She had constantly avoided any sort of contact or communication the past few days, simply walking past him as if he never existed. As a man, all Zuko could do was sit in a corner and inwardly cry to himself.

One part of him was angry. He obviously didn't mean to deceive her; he would never do something like that. It was something he found out about himself as well, the timing just happened to be bad. There was also nothing he could do about it. Zuko just happened to be stuck in the middle of some crazy prophecy, getting the short end of the stick in the end. Katara should have understood that.

But the other part of him accepted the situation. He was the son of the Fire Lord for goodness sake. He was practically born her enemy. No matter how much he wanted to avoid it, he had to face his father someday; he couldn't keep running away forever. Especially since he was after Katara, they would never be able to live in peace if he remained on the throne. Maybe it was for the best. If Zuko had to kill Katara in the end, maybe it was better that they were on bad terms.

Zuko slapped himself.

Did he just think that? Three days past without talking to Katara, and he was already giving into his fate. Disgusting. He scowled deeply and retreated further into his mind, blocking out everything else. Hadn't he promised he would protect her no matter what? Hadn't he sworn to find a way to fight back against the prophecy? Zuko grumbled loudly, thankful no one was nearby. He buried his face into his hands, feeling his temperature rise with his unstable emotions.

"Zuko."

He had recognized the voice before his lifted his head, yet a part of him was disappointed, when he saw the person who called him wasn't Katara. Iroh stood at the door to their bedroom, watching him.

"Why are you still in here?" he asked, frowning. Zuko could hear the clear tone of disappointment in his voice. "There's still a lot to do."

He set his face down again, wondering himself. "I don't know," he replied honestly. Zuko brought his knees up to his chest, and rested his chin on his hands. He didn't exactly want to tell his uncle he was having girl problems.

"Is it Katara?"

Zuko could feel a stab through his chest at her name. It wasn't a surprise Iroh had gotten it right on the first guess. The old man had a talent for it. He remained silent, not bothering to respond back.

"Speak to me, nephew."

Giving into the conversation, he sighed. He had to spill his guts one day. "Uncle…" Zuko's voice sounded more husky than usual. "Is it impossible to go against what was destined? I don't want to hurt her, yet it's so unfair; I didn't ask to be born like this. What am I supposed to do? Is this how things are supposed to be? Is there really… nothing I can do about it?"

Iroh walked closer, sitting down on the bed in front of him. He sighed through his nose, and looked directly at Zuko.

"I suppose you can only accept it. There is no changing the past."

Zuko sulked, and buried his face deeper into his hands.

"However, even if the past cannot be changed, feelings can change." Iroh put a light hand on his shoulder. "You can blame your father, your fate, or even me, but that won't alter the way Katara thinks of you. You control yourself, nephew. If you sit here and sulk, do you think anything will change? Take the first step, the road isn't already made for you. Even if the whole world is against you, your future is one you carve for yourself."

Zuko kept his head down, feeling lost in his uncle's words. "I don't understand," he finally muttered. "Then what does that make of me?"

"You are the master of your destiny." Iroh stood and began to walk out again. "Talk to her, Zuko, only you can make her understand."

After sitting in silence, Zuko sighed. It had been a while since he had gotten a lecture from his uncle like that. He shook his head and slid out of bed, stretching out his cramped legs. Since he couldn't handle Katara hating him, he would just have to explain himself. Take the first step. With his final thought, Zuko stepped out of the room and walked outside.

"Only a few more families, girls! We can do this!"

Before the bright afternoon sunlight bombarded his face, Suki's voice loomed over the noise. He could only assume it was her by her voice. He already had a hard time remembering faces; the fact that all the warriors caked their faces with the same style of makeup didn't help the cause either. She carried two large baskets in each hand, shouting at her warriors with a strong voice. Villagers held their belongings in their arms, the heavier items carried by the female warriors. Each family walked up the road towards the mountain, mostly the elderly. All of the children had left the first day, eager to meet the children of the next village. Suki finally turned, and noticed Zuko.

"Well, finally came to help?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, sounding rather annoyed. Zuko couldn't blame her, he had been cooped up in his new room, sulking all by himself the past couple days.

"Er…" Zuko muttered. He was actually looking for Katara, but he didn't want to ignore the task in front of him.

Suki walked up to him, standing straight and looked boldly into his eyes. "Actually, don't bother." Zuko took a small step back, startled at the girl's sudden approach. He slightly frowned. "I mean it'd be better if you didn't. Nobody trusts you here, firebender. Oyaji may have graced you to stay here for the time being, but the people here fear the fire nation. They do no trust you, and I do not trust you."

Zuko bit back a snarl. "That was a bit…"

"What?" Suki cocked her head to the side. "Do you want to disagree? To deny everything the fire nation did? Feel free. You know nothing of the people's suffering."

That was completely uncalled for. Zuko had seen plenty of what the fire nation had done. The soldiers burned his house, beat up Sokka, chased around innocent families, and sacrificed their own men. He might have not known about the war, but his experience with them thus far put a good idea in his head. Zuko wasn't anything like them. Sure, he was a firebender, sure, his father may be the Fire Lord, but that didn't mean he was the same. How dare she make such a comparison. His balled his fists and felt his anger raise rapidly, heat sparked widely around his body. She glanced down at his fists and frowned.

"Are you going to hit me?" she smirked. "I dare you to try. Go ahead and prove to these people that all you fire nation people are no good. Do it."

His fists shook. Before he could think further, Zuko raised his shoulder in an attempt to swing his fist. A strong hand grabbed his upper arm and the ground under him suddenly felt like quicksand. His legs plummeted into the earth, freezing him knee-deep into the ground. Zuko yelped in surprise and turned to see the young airbender grabbing his arm, looking straight down at him.

"Aang! Toph!" Suki's eyes widened the slightest.

"What are you doing, sparky?" Toph approached, her face in a slight frown. Her voice sounded calm, bored even.

Sparky? Was she referring to him? Zuko's mouth opened the slightest.

"I…" he stammered. "I was just…" Zuko finally took a look around. A few villagers were gathering around, whispering to each other with eyes of fear.

"…Fire nation."

"…Dangerous."

"…Watch out."

Zuko's heart sank. Was the toll of being from the fire nation this great? He never understood it. Suki had provoked him, but he seriously lacked control over his emotions. He had practically proven himself to be no different than the other fire nation soldiers. His eyes fell down to his hand as he slowly released his fist, finger by finger. He lowered his arm and looked away. He couldn't even find the words to make a comeback.

"It's all right," Suki finally said. She looked towards the two benders behind him. "Let him be on his way."

The ground trembled under Zuko's feet as Toph released her fist in an upward motion. He rose from the earth, dirt covering his legs and feet. Aang gently released his hold on Zuko's arm. All eyes watched him, as he regained his balance and made his way away from the crowd. He lowered his head as if to apologize.

That was rash of him. If Aang and Toph hadn't stopped him, would he have really hit Suki? He could still feel the adrenaline rush through him, as if he emerged from a fight. Just what exactly was he doing?

"***"

Iroh trotted down from the mountain, taking in the crisp air. It had been a little over an hour since he talked with Zuko, and the pitiful expression of his nephew still glared in his mind. He needed a serious wakeup call. The village soon came into view, with three teenagers standing in the middle. He approached them with a smile, until he saw Suki's frowning face. The three glanced up at his arrival.

"Iroh," Suki somberly said.

"Did you do it?" he asked, even though it was written on their faces. She simply nodded and sighed quietly.

"It was rather… depressing." She gave a weak laugh. "He looked more hurt than I thought he would be."

Iroh closed his eyes and breathed. "I reckon so."

"Why ask us to say that to him?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow. "If it was a test of control, I'd say he didn't pass."

Iroh laughed lightly and gave Suki a small pat on the head. "Thank you for you help. Although it would be rather amusing, it wasn't to test his control." He paused and scratched his beard. "It was to teach him."

"About what?" Aang inquired, curiosity beaming in his eyes.

"About what it means to be a firebender in this day, a royalty, no less." He replied solemnly. "While growing up, I always told him not to bend outside of our home, so Zuko has always been with with people who treated him well because they didn't know who he truly was. He has grown too accustomed to that and doesn't grasp how huge this battle will be, and what it means for him. I wanted Zuko to understand that what he will face now is completely different form what he experienced before. He will be rejected, hated, blamed at, people will not trust him, and he may experience the most loneliness he's ever felt in his entire life. I don't wish for him to walk into this war without knowing that. He must learn how to deal with it. He must accept it, sharpen his will and move on. That is what it means to be from the fire nation."

No one said a word as Iroh stared into the distance.

Suki finally broke the silence. "Should I continue to treat him that way?"

Iroh mused. "To a degree, if you will. There is still a lot for me to teach him." He gave her a small smile. "And you should also deem his trustworthy by your own judgment. Do not trust easily in war, any of you."

All three youths nodded, each holding a personal face of resolve. Iroh calmly reached for the baskets Suki held, and took them from her grip.

"I'll take these. West village, right?" She nodded again.

"Yes, thank you. What about Zuko?"

Iroh closed his eyes and breathed. "If he cannot right himself, I shall give him another talk after I return. Although I'd prefer not to." He turned to Aang and Toph. "Thank you guys, you youngsters are so helpful nowadays."

They all broke out into a small smile as Iroh once again trotted towards the mountain, yelling that he'd be back at sunset.

"***"

Zuko had never struggled more emotionally with himself than he did now. The villager's faces frozen in fear had imprinted in his mind. His hand trembled against his will, as he slowly pulled his fingers into a fist. He was stupid to try and hit Suki. Now that he thought about it, Zuko couldn't even remember why he was so angry. Was he really no different than his father and sister?

No. Zuko shook his head. I'm not. I'm not like him. I won't be like him. We may share blood, but that doesn't mean we share hearts or intentions. I'm not like him. I have to apologize to Suki. I need to prove to her that I'm not like everyone else.

His pride was crushed, knowing he did something so impulsive. There were so many things he had to fix; taking the first step wasn't an easy statement anymore.

Zuko sat outside of Sokka's room, knowing Katara was in there at the moment. If he were honest with himself, he didn't have the guts to walk in the room by himself. He sat a few meters away from the door, absentmindedly twirling fire between his fingers. He realized it was a bad habit of his whenever he couldn't sort out his feelings. He needed to talk to her and sort out the situation. Zuko twiddled his fingers, and waited for Katara to come out.

He almost fell asleep.

The sun had set long ago, leaving him in a dark room with a sore butt. The moonlight illuminated the walls with a light blue hue, creating a nice view if his heart wasn't pounding every second against his chest. He was awful at sensing temperature or augmenting it, but he could tell Katara was still awake. The sound of her quieted footsteps suddenly approached the door. Zuko jolted himself awake and watched Katara slide out of the room. Her eyes dropped to his, widening from surprise. Her mouth slightly opened to say something, yet she seemed to hold back her words.

"Katara," Zuko stood up, his legs aching from the sudden movement.

She took a step back, before turning and walking out. Zuko followed after her. The cold night air blasted him in the face. He could see his breath condense to visibility, before evaporating into the air. Katara continued to walk away.

"Hold on, Katara!" Zuko yelled after her, engaging in a quick sprint to reach her side. "You need to listen to me."

She continued to walk faster, away from the village. Zuko followed after her, not wanting to forcibly grab her wrist if he could avoid it. She walked up towards the cliff, and Zuko momentarily thought Katara was attempting to jump into the sea to avoid talking to him.

"Katara, please, just listen—"

"Why should I?" she suddenly yelled back, turning around suddenly. Zuko retracted his hand back, feeling somewhat accomplished Katara had actually replied. She glared at him with an expression of confused hate.

"I… just want to talk to you," he honestly responded. She avoided his gaze and didn't respond. The sound of waves crashing against the rocks filled his ears.

"You look terrible." Katara turned her back to him.

"Er, well," Zuko rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't sleep so well the past few days."

"Is that so?" She quietly commented, and turned her head. "And why should I believe that? In fact, why should I believe anything you say anymore?" Her voice rose as she finished her sentence.

"Katara…"

"You know, I always knew there was something off about me. But… you—even if everyone else walked away from me, I thought you'd still be there. Always by my side, trustworthy…" her voice began to crack, as her face twisted in doubt. "And you end up being the first to turn your back."

Zuko stood motionless, trying to respond back. He felt like he'd been stabbed with his swords. Did it really seem that way to her? Could she really not see it from his point of view? There were so many things that seemed to rush up at once.

"I never lied to you!" Zuko took a step forward met her frantic eyes. "I really didn't know anything of this either. I only found out a couple days ago."

"I heard what your uncle said, Zuko!" Katara cried. "You're… the Fire Lord's son! How can I believe anything you say? You might as well be plotting to stab me in the back again after!"

God damn everything. "You're wrong!" he yelled back in protest. "I would never do that, Katara! You have to believe me, I really didn't know. It wasn't my intention to deceive you in any way!"

"You want me to believe the son… of the man who wants me dead?" she retorted. "Don't you think it's kind of strange for you to appear so conveniently? How right after you show up in my life, Azula was finally able to capture Sokka, after we've been running successfully for years? And how as soon as Sokka is taken—by your sister—you get your family claim?"

"I know!" Zuko gritted his teeth. "I know the chances of all this happening at once is suspicious and odd, but you have to believe me! I never meant to lie to you!Do you really think that low of me? That I'm happy to find out that my father is a tyrannical murderer, and my sister is trying to chase me down? I'm sure you heard that my own father tried to kill me!" Zuko thrust his finger at his scar. "He gave me this. All this time I thought it was an accident… but it wasn't. Don't put me on the same level as him, Katara!" Zuko breathed hard, waiting for her to respond. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, hesitant to yell anymore. He breathed, trying to calm his emotions. Yelling at her won't solve anything. He took a small step forward, and shook his head. "...I know, I might be asking for the impossible, for you to trust me again, but… I don't want you to walk away thinking that I lied to you."

Katara's eyes grew wide. She stared at him in disbelief, blinking quickly to pull back the tears.

"...What do you expect me to do?" She whimpered. "Do… you think I want to doubt you? What other choice do I have?" Katara lowered her gaze. "I'm just a freak, Zuko. I don't even know what to feel anymore." She took a step back from him, dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. She laughed weakly, taking another step back. Zuko's eyes widened in fear. Don't do it. "You know, after finding out that I'm nothing but a monster, it doesn't make me feel too great. I'm just a burden, Zuko. It'd be better for everyone else... if I just—"

"—Katara!"

Zuko jumped forward and reached out with his hand, barely grazing her clothes. A step too late. Katara fell backwards from the cliff, and plummeting into the waves. Zuko caught his breath. Without thinking, he pushed his foot against the edge of the cliff and forcibly threw himself down. The water hit him like a bull. It felt like he was crashing into a block of ice. His skin stung and burned underwater, as he reached around for Katara. A dark figure descended deeper into the sea, as if the water itself were pushing her down. Zuko swam down, thankful he had taken a deep breath before diving in. He could barely see under the waves, but her eyes seemed to glow with the moonlight, as she gazed up at him. She made no motion to swim back up. Katara simply fell through the sea, slowly sinking beyond Zuko's grasp. Her face seemed emotionless, calm, even in the situation. Using all the strength he could muster, Zuko pushed himself down, and swung his arm, hooking his hand behind her back. He pulled her body up, furiously kicking his legs to swim back to the surface. The cold wind collided with his exposed skin as soon as Zuko's head emerged from the waves. He breathed hard, and tried to focus on taking deep breaths. Katara breathed lightly next to him. He turned, his worry sharply replaced by anger.

"What are you doing?" he growled, his chest heaving with adrenaline. He grabbed Katara's shoulders, forcing her to face him. "Do you really want to die? Why would you ever do something like that? Didn't you want to fight back, and stop running away?" Katara stared wide eyed, as if she couldn't believe what had just happened. Zuko bit back his anger, trying to hold back his words. He had almost lost somebody he didn't ever want to lose. He could still remember the feeling of absolute devastation, as Katara fell backwards from the cliff. He sighed in relief, and lowered his gaze. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't ever do this to me again... you really... had me scared. And even if you hate me, don't think about giving up. Everyone's here to support you, and if you were to die, their efforts would be in vain. Everything Sokka worked against, trying to keep you safe—would all go to waste. Don't die, Katara. Believe in them. I'm not going to force you to trust me… but know that I'll be here, and I'll always be."

Zuko didn't even know how he was staying afloat in the water. All his attention was solely focused on Katara. Small drops of water fell onto Zuko's fingers, he watched them fall continuously against his skin before evaporating into the air by the heat. He slowly lifted his face to meet Katara's, her face now contorted with emotion. Tears kept sliding down her cheeks, and fell on Zuko's hands.

"W-What the heck…" she whispered. "You're making me feel like the bad guy here..."

A bit shocked, Zuko slowly unraveled his hands from her shoulders. Before pulling his hands back, he reached for her face, gently wiping the tears with his fingers. Her cheeks felt unusually soft against his calloused hands.

"I'm sorry," he muttered quietly, lingering his fingers over her face. Zuko felt his chest cave in at her tears. She was crying, again. "Sorry for yelling. I can't seem to get my emotions under control today..."

"You're terrible," she quietly wailed.

"I know."

"A jerk."

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"And you have no sense of direction."

"...Hey!" Zuko protested.

He lifted his head just in time for Katara to close the distance between them. She buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"But I forgive you anyways."

Zuko's world beamed. To hear those words come out from her mouth practically lifted his soul. He immediately reached around her back and held her tightly. Time seemed to stop. His entire existence was solely centered on keeping Katara safe in his arms. He rested his chin on top of her head, and closed his eyes.

"Thank you."

Zuko was exhausted. He never knew talking about his feelings would be so taxing. His heart seemed a thousand times lighter, but his body didn't want to move anymore. Katara was no different. Being the incapable idiot he was, Zuko had no idea how they were supposed to return to the village. They were too far out to try and swim back to shore, and they had fallen a few dozen meters from the cliff, rendering his climbing skills useless. His arms began to go numb in the cold, realizing no amount of firebending would be of use, especially during the night. It was only when the water under his feet seemed to solidify, and expelled him from the South Sea with sudden force. Zuko yelled in surprise, feeling himself fall back towards the grass, Katara still in his arms. He braced himself for the impact, hardening his back, keeping her as shielded as possible. Zuko landed roughly on his upper back, causing a low gasp to escape his throat. He involuntarily coughed, careful not to mangle Katara. Had she done that? He hadn't even noticed her bending.

"Katara—you okay?" he whispered, feeling his shoulder blades throb in pain. Thankfully, he had loosened her hold on him last minute, so that he hadn't crushed her arms. She remained quiet, only nodding against his chest. She sighed deeply, and Zuko felt the same. Relief. He had done it. She had forgiven him. It had taken some yelling and a lot of apologies, but the world suddenly seemed so much brighter. Zuko gazed at the stars, never really appreciating their beauty. The sound of waves crashing against the rocks was melodious; he could feel himself gradually falling asleep.

"Why did you jump in?" she finally mumbled after a long silence. Zuko had thought she had fallen asleep. He inwardly frowned, not remembering the exact reason why he jumped in. He hadn't thought too much about it.

"To save you—you dummy."

Katara lifted her head over his, surprising Zuko more than he would have liked to admit. She stared down at him with an unreadable expression. Her eyes seemed a whole lot darker.

"Did you really think I was going to drown in my own element?" The corner of her lips raised into a teasing smile.

Zuko could feel blood pool in his cheeks. He had totally forgotten about that. She was a skilled waterbender, there was no way she was going to drown herself in water. He secretly wished she wasn't staring down at him at the moment. Collecting his composure, Zuko brought his hand in between their faces, and lightly poked Katara's forehead with his finger.

"Who said anything about saving you from the water?" Zuko replied. Katara raised an eyebrow. "I was saving you from yourself. They say the heaviest of chains that drag us down, are the ones we create ourselves. The invisible shackles in your head, is what I was rescuing you from."

Katara's teasing smile slowly dropped, as she watched Zuko with a curious expression. For a moment, the two benders stared at each other. Zuko's heart beat against his chest, realizing how close Katara's face was.

"Ah-ha, I bet Iroh told you that one, didn't he?" Katara lightly grinned.

"Guilty."

Zuko chuckled quietly. Katara returned her head to the grass, stretching out her legs with a sigh.

"...Thanks for saving me."

"Thanks for staying alive."

He had really meant it. No more words were exchanged between them, and Zuko didn't feel the need to. While gazing up at the moon, he turned his head to glance at the quiet waterbender next to him. He slowly let his eyelids drop, letting Katara's peaceful face the last thing he saw before he drifted off.

A/N: Ahh, I love writing Zutara moments. ^^
If you haven't noticed, this chapter is pretty long, because it is my apology chapter. Due to school, I'll be updating on a bi-weekly basis after this chapter. I know I was on and off with my updates, but this time it'll be quite unlikely you'll see a new chapter in a week :/ Which is why I made this chapter extra long! :D *Sorry, don't kill me*
I also want to spend more time reviewing and editing my writing to present them to you in tip-top shape. The next chapter (and possible the one after) will be on the big battle coming up, and I'll do my best to make it super epic, so I hope you all look forward to it!

For anyone else in school, I wish you luck this fall. See you soon!