Her Past Catches Up With Her
I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan. Not really intended for younger readers.
Chapter 21
JJ shaking, walks up to the first metal slab with Josh on it. JJ just stand s there and stares at him. Scott can feel JJ's hand trembling. "That's Josh. He will never know about her. She will never know about him."
Scott doesn't understand what she's saying. "What's that sweetie?" JJ can't take her eyes off his dead shell of a body. She keeps seeing him on her, raping her back in the girls cliffhangers bathroom. Then she remembers giving birth to their child. Tears seep from JJ's eyes.
When she's finally able to make her feet move, they head over to Walt's body. She looks at the face. She sees his face above hers on her childhood bed. Then his face after she found out he was hurting Jess too. The anger boils in JJ as well as the fear. She doesn't remember much in that house. Her fear is all about how and who took the lives of these monsters.
"That's Walt. See you in hell, bastard!" JJ's shaky voice says.
"Shel, you ok?" Scott asks, pulling her hand to get her body to fall onto his body for comfort.
"Don't call me that!" JJ yells pulling away from Scott.
"I'm sorry. It's hard for me to remember." Lily and Jordan look confused.
"I'm sorry for butting in, but what was that about?" Lily asks, out of curiosity and to try to get as much info to help if she can.
"Her name WAS Shelby Merrick. But after those two threatened her life, she was in witness protection. So now her name is Jennifer Jearau. Or JJ, as she likes to be called. Same with her sister. Jess Merrick, now Ashley Bowen. Scott says, trying to be as kind as he could.
"Don't forget to tell them that Jess died because of me! Don't forget to tell them that Walt and Josh killed Martha because of e! All of it's because of ME!" JJ pushes over a tray of instruments. In the process, she cuts her finger. She doesn't realize it at first. Not until her tantrum is done and she sits on the floor in tears. Lily's the one to notice.
"Oh god, you cut your finger," Lily rushes over with a paper towel. She wraps it around her cut finger. While holding the paper towel, Lily wipes away the tears that are on JJ's cheeks. "Why do you blame yourself for their," pointing to the to dead monsters only a few feet away, "crimes? You know that THEY killed… who was it?"
JJ slowly and quietly says, "Martha and Jess."
"You are not to blame. Would Jess or Martha blame you?" Lily asks, almost as if she was talking to young child.
"No." Was all JJ could manage to vocalize.
"Ok, here. Let's get you up." Scott says, helping JJ up by reaching under her arms and lifting.
"Are you ready to see Jess?" Jordan asks, not comfortable with emotional stuff.
"My god! This is the last time I'll see Jess! Scott, can you help me over to her?" JJ asks, not feeling like she can make herself walk to the metal slab that held her baby sister's dead , lifeless body.
"Sure sweetheart. Come on." Scott held hands with one hand of his. The other one was on her back firmly. Lily and Jordan walk slowly behind them. Once JJ gets close enough to see Jess' face, her legs buckle and Scott holds her up, but Lily comes to the other side and helps hold her up.
"I'm so… so sorry, Jess! You look so much older than before. You're a mom! You were a mom. How's that little boy going to know what a wonderful woman you were?" JJ reaches over and runs the back of her hand against Jess' cheek. Just like she used to when Jess was a baby.
Out of the blue, a mans voice says, "He will know about his mother. I will see to it." JJ turns around to see a younger man standing not far from Walt and Josh.
"You're her husband aren't you?" JJ asks, unable to move toward him.
"Yes. You must be Shelby. Oh sorry, what is it now?" John asks.
"Jennifer Jearau. But you can call me JJ. Did Jess, sorry, Ashley ever talk about me?" JJ asks, turning to look down at Jess.
"She didn't really tell me about the witness protection until she thought she saw Walt at a gas station one day. She was eight months pregnant with Scottie. Before that she talked about a best friend that seemed like a sister. Her name was Shelby Ann. That's what we were going to name this baby if it was a girl. I thought it sounded so beautiful. She really looked up to you. She felt bad for making you feel bad about the first Walt problem. She was just hurt." John says, trying to comfort JJ with his words.
"Did she tell you that when Alice brought her home, I used to pretend I was her momma. Alice used to get pissed because I wouldn't let her feed her and I wouldn't let Alice change her. I was the one that named her. Oh god, when I found out Walt had hurt her, it took everything in me not to kill him. Hurting me was one thing, but hurting my Jess was unspeakable," JJ put her hand on Jess' shoulder. "What am I going to do without you?" JJ starts crying again. She started to get dizzy and then blacks out. Scott picks her up and carries her to Jordan's office to lay her out on the couch. Lily gets some water. After just a few moments, JJ wakes up. "What happened?"
"Shel, you passed out. Maybe we should take you back to the hospital?" Scott say, concerned.
"No! Please, I'm fine." Lily hands JJ the water and JJ drinks the whole thing in one gulp.
"Would you like some more?" Lily asks, taking the glass back.
"Yes, please. I don't know why, but that was the most delicious water I've ever tasted." JJ says, shocked.
"Ok, Ms. Jearau, I think you are in shock. So we're going to have your friend here, take you back to the hospital just to be safe." Jordan says, fake smiling at JJ.
"NO! I WILL not go back to the hospital. Scott, take me back to the hotel. I have a little nephew to meet." JJ says, standing up and is just about to walk out when Lily comes in with the glass of water. JJ practically rips the glass from Lily's hands and drinks it all in one gulp. Then hands the glass back to Lily. "Thank you. Nice to meet you. Take good care of my baby sister please." Then she was gone. Everyone just stood there staring at each other in shock. No one could figure out what was going on with JJ. So they chalked it up to shock and grief. When the shock wore off in the group, Scott, Lily and John go look for JJ, to no avail. So Scott calls JJ's cell phone and it rings from inside the rental car. So he decides to use JJ's phone to call her boss and have everyone look for her.
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Back at the party, everyone is having a nice time except for Hotch and Shawn. They can't stop worrying about JJ. Neither man knew Scott well enough to know if he would be helping JJ.
John had Emily and Penelope watching over Scottie. So they were too busy to notice JJ's absence. But once Daisy and Reid get to the party, Daisy doesn't realize what has happened with JJ. So they didn't even think to look for her.
Hotch's phone rings. It's the media liaison's cell phone ring. He answers it quickly. "JJ, are you ok? We-" Hotch is cut off by Scott's frantic voice.
"Agent Hotchner! This is Scott Barringer. Shel, sorry. JJ just Ided the bodies of Josh, Walt AND Jess. She'd passed out. When we suggested taking her back to the hospital, she freaked and ran. We can't find her and as you can tell, she doesn't have her phone with her. I don't have a cue of where to start looking. Maybe she's on her way back there." Scott says, at a loss of ideas.
"Scott, drive back here. Use the same streets you used to get there. Watch for her. I'll set up a few teams with the people we have here. If you don't see her between there and here, we'll go look for her. Call me if you need to. I'll call her cell phone if she shows up. Hotch hangs up. He makes his way to the biggest group of profilers, which happen to be Gideon, Morgan with Emily coming back and forth between the little boy and the two profilers. "Hey, we have a situation." Hotch in full on profiler mode.
"What is it Hotch?" Morgan asks, confused.
"JJ's alone and unaccounted for. She's MIA. She went to see the bodies. That Scott character said she 'freaked' out. She ran. We need to set up teams and start a search. He also said she'd passed out. So she might need medical attention. We need to leave Garcia with the boy. The rest of these people need to team up and start searching for her." Hotch bends his head down in a moment of defeat and worry. He knows what JJ's been through physically and mentally. Or so he thinks.
"How many teams?" Emily asks, very serious.
"Let's try four teams of…Four. Count Scott and John. We need to come up with places she might have gone. Like museums, libraries, parks or…wait. JJ's never been here before. So she had no idea where things are. Let's check airports, bus stations and train stations. We know she's not heading to her dead sisters body." Hotch then thinks the last place she would want to go. "You, you and you, come with me." Hotch points to Em, Derek and Gideon. They all exit the building and pile into the SUV.
"Care to fill us in bass man?" Morgan asks, from the back seat. Hotch is driving with Gideon in the passenger seat. Emily's directly behind him, waiting for an answer to Derek's question.
"I think JJ's gone back to that HOUSE to try to remember what happened. You know how she hates not having control." Hotch says, with the lights and sirens blaring.
"What one of us doesn't like to be in control." Emily says, in defense of her very hurt friend.
"I KNOW that Prentiss. It's going to drive her nuts until she remembers. She might never remember." Hotch says, driving like he's in Indie 500. The rest of the team keep grabbing the door handle and what Reid so kindly put it 'the oh shit handle' above their heads to steady themselves.
"Hotch, slow down. I know we need to get there, but we won't be any help injuring ourselves." Gideon says.
"You don't understand!" Hotch wasn't sure if her should tell them of the rape. He didn't want her to remember and be alone.
"We don't understand what?" Gideon asks. But before Hotch can say anything to answer, they pull up to the mansion. The yellow crime scene tape has been disturbed. Hotch quickly puts the vehicle into park. Hotch is the first to enter the house. But the rest of them not far behind.
"Jennifer!" Hotch yells into the darkened house. He gets no response. Then tries a different tactic.
"Shelby!" That's when they hear movement upstairs and they head that way. The closer they get upstairs, the closer the movement gets. Hotch points to Morgan and Gideon to head east side of the house and Emily and him were going west.
It doesn't take long for Emily and Hotch to come across JJ. She's in the same room that Jess was laying dead in the bed when JJ saw her after 10 years. JJ's pacing. She had thrown a few things. Hotch could see the glistening off her cheeks to indicate that she has been crying.
"JJ, may we come in so we can talk?" Hotch asks, gently.
"No talking." JJ says, not sounding like to woman they know.
"Jennifer, we need to talk." Hotch says, a little more harsh.
"Who's Jennifer? Does anyone have a smoke? God, I really need drag. Mmmm, and some nice CAFFIENATED coffee." JJ says, but not like JJ. She sounds like her old Shelby mannerisms.
"Shelby, may we come in and talk?" Emily asks, remembering that JJ has confused Emily as Daisy.
"Daisy?"
"Yeah. Can I come sit with you?" Emily tries to get into character. While Emily does this, Hotch calls to try to get the cliffhangers over to that house. Emily slowly walks into the room.
"Daisy, please tell me you have something with caffeine."
"Not right now. But I know where we can get some in a while. I thought you quit smoking though." Emily says, hoping that's what Daisy would've said.
"Just because Peter took those packs of cigs, doesn't mean I still can't get some. I have my ways." JJ says, smiling.
"So what are you doing here?" Emily says, indicating that room.
"Kat says there's a new person coming in today and I wanted to get a glimpse. What about you? Ez still following you around like a puppy?" JJ says mockingly.
"Yeah. But he's not that bad." Emily urges Hotch to join in. But only when Morgan and Gideon join them that Hotch makes Morgan play Ezra. Morgan walks into the room.
"Hey Das, Hey Shel." Morgan say awkwardly.
"What do you want Freakin'?" JJ asks with a sigh.
"I just wanted to see what you are doing." Morgan replies with uncertainty.
'Why can't you leave me alone Ezra?" JJ says, looking confused at Morgan.
"Shel, what's wrong?" Emily asks as Daisy.
"That looks, no it can't be. But he can't be here!" JJ says, looking at nothing.
"Who is it?" Emily asks.
"It's Josh. Remember, the rich guy. The John that used to hurt me. I don't know why he's here. Mommy and daddy can send him to much better places." JJ says, fear clouds her eyes.
"Shelby, do you think he'll hurt you here?"
"No. Peter won't let him. Plus, Scott's always around me. Just please make sure we're never left alone. Can you do that for me?" JJ says, with fear in her voice.
"Sure, but maybe you should tell Peter. He can help." Emily says.
"No. If I need to, I'll tell him. But he'll ask too many questions that I'm not willing to answer." JJ says, her hand going to her stomach.
"Shelby, are you alright?" Morgan asks.
"Ezra, just leave me alone! Daisy, please take your freak man away. He's really bothering me.! JJ says, looking at Morgan like he was an obscure painting. Morgan feels a little hurt by JJ's comment. But Emily grabs Morgan's hand.
"I'll be back in a minute Shel," Then Emily and Morgan leave the room. "What should I do Hotch?" Emily asks, with panic in her voice.
"Here, call Daisy. Have them get all the Hope Springs people over here. Especially the Scott guy. He seems to know her the best. Or the Shelby part of her. Gideon, you're up next. Try to get her back to the JJ we know and love." Hotch says. Emily takes the phone and calls Daisy's number.
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I want to thank all of those who are reading and reviewing. It really means a lot to get the reviews. I REALLY want to know what you think of the direction the story is going. I want to thank all my friends that are so sweet to inspire me to keep going no matter what anyone says. Thanks guys. Please keep reviewing.
AN/ I may have changed a little thing here or there. Please bear with me. I'm not a professional writer, so I do make mistakes. Thank you.