Chapter 21: These Hands

The Kocari Wilds

xxXxx

…

The snow crunched loudly beneath the horse's hooves as they moved through the silent wilderness.

Kallian knew the animal was tired. She had been riding him hard ever since they had left Redcliffe some ten hours prior. The only reason they had made it this far in such a small amount of time was that the horse had been bred to carry a human in full plate-armor. Supporting a female elf clad only in leather and cloth had to be relatively easy for the massive animal.

She pulled her cloak tighter while huddling into the warmth of its wide hood. It had snowed earlier in the evening, and the long night had been bitterly cold. The only consolation she had was that they had entered the wide expanse of the Korcari Wilds less than an hour ago. If her admittedly hazy memory of this place was accurate, the two of them weren't far from their destination.

A crackle in the surrounding brush made her jerk a hand towards the hilt of her knife. Kallian had found herself on edge ever since she had started feeling the faint prickle along her scalp that warned of the Darkspawn's proximity. While that was a reasonable cause for concern, she felt confident that the monsters were still many leagues away. If she could only barely sense the many thousands of them, then they surely wouldn't be able to sniff out a single Grey Warden.

At least….that was what she kept telling herself.

Kallian relaxed when the mysterious sound revealed itself to be nothing more than a small rodent scurrying around in his quest for food. Lowering her hand back to the reins of the horse, Kallian glanced up at the full moon and tried to orient herself. Having left the Imperial Highroad behind some time ago, she was mostly navigated by instinct at this point. Unfortunately, the marshy lowlands that made up the Korcari Wilds didn't have many distinctive landmarks to aid in her navigation.

Just as tendrils of doubt were beginning to rise up in her mind, Kallian caught a faint glimmer of light in the corner of her eye. Pulling back on the reins to slow the horse, Kallian peered out in the murky blackness with a thrill of nervous anticipation. For better or worse, it seemed as though she had arrived.

Her mount nickered softly as she steered him in the direction of the orange glow. Patting the side of the horse's neck, Kallian felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as the distinctive profile of Flemeth's hut became clearer and clearer as they approached.

She brought the horse to a gentle stop about forty feet from the hut's front entrance. Dismounting in the least graceful manner possible, Kallian let out a sharp hiss of pain as her cramped muscles rebelled against the motion. It had been many years since she had last ridden a horse and she was the very definition of saddle-sore.

The unmistakable sound of a door creaking open made her turn around to face the hut. Planted in the middle of the open doorway, a thin and slightly hunched silhouette stood in stark contrast to the light that poured out from within. Kallian took a breath to steady herself before gathering the horse's reins and leading the animal in the direction of the house. She wasn't surprised that Flemeth was waiting for her in spite of the late hour. Somehow, she had known that the witch would be awake and aware.

"Well now, this is a surprise. I had not thought to see you again so soon, Warden." Flemeth paused and gave Kallian a shrewd look. "What's more, you come alone and in the cover of darkness. Is there something I should be aware of?"

Kallian bowed her head respectfully. "I'm sorry for showing up unexpected, but I have questions that I need to have answered. Unless I'm wrong, I think that you are the only one who will answer them truthfully. I didn't want to speak of these things with the others present."

"You have questions?" Flemeth voice was neutral as she studied Kallian's face with her head tilted to one side. "Then let us hope that I have answers. You can take your animal around the back. There is a shed behind the house that makes a perfectly good stable when there is need. I may even have some feed left over if you care to look."

"Thank you Flemeth. I'm grateful."

Flemeth uttered a dry laugh as she turned to go back into her hut. "Don't thank me yet child."

Silently telling herself to relax, Kallian took the horse around the side of the hut and found the shed Flemeth had spoken of. It was small and smelled strongly of dried herbs, but it was also surprisingly warm. After she had led the animal inside, Kallian removed the bit and brindle from its mouth. A quick look around the dark confines of the shed revealed a small barrel that was half-filled with some dried grain. Placing a generous portion in a nearby trough, she watched as the horse set to its impromptu meal. Before she left, Kallian made sure the animal had access to a water basin.

As she made her way back to the hut, Kallian curled and uncurled her fingers in a nervous tic. Though she managed to force her expression into a veneer of calm, her insides churned unpleasantly as she approached the door.

Once inside, she was greeted by a wave of warmth and light that felt wonderful after hours in the saddle. From her position by the room's fireplace, Flemeth glanced up from where she was stirring an iron pot and motioned towards a small table in the corner. "You can join me in a late dinner if you wish. Ever since Morrigan left, I've had a tendency to lose track of time. Sometimes, I'll start making dinner when really I should be attending to breakfast."

"I'd like that Flemeth, thank you." Kallian moved over to the table while removing her pack. Placing it by her chair, she dropped down into the wooden seat and glanced around the small hut.

Flemeth's house was more or less what one would expect from a swamp witch. Though cozy, the room was covered in a number of odd knickknacks and bushels of dried flowers. Other than the table and a small area rug, the only furniture in the room was a rickety-looking bookcase that bowed under the weight of the hefty tomes it supported. In addition to the main entrance, the room featured only one other door. Though it was closed, Kallian assumed it led to the hut's bedroom.

Her perusal was interrupted when Flemeth placed a steaming bowl of grayish stew in front of her. "If you want something to drink, I fear you will have to make do with water."

"Actually, I might have something a little better." Kallian reached down into her backpack and drew out the wine bottle she had stolen from the Arl's cellar. "My father always told me to bring wine whenever you ask someone for a favor."

"Ah yes, 'to appease the tongue and loosen it in equal measure'. A rather old adage; I haven't heard it for some time now." Flemeth's lips curved upwards in to a faint smile. Raising one wrinkled hand, the witch motioned for Kallian to hand her the bottle. Flemeth inspected the label with a judicious eye. "Now I have to wonder, what type of questions are worth a gift of this quality?"

"They're worth a great deal to me. That's what matters isn't it?"

Flemeth gave her an odd look. "True enough, Warden."

Kallian took the wine back and set about opening it with a small corkscrew she had picked up from Redcliffe's kitchen. It was difficult to remove the cork at first, but she eventually levered it free from the bottle's neck. Nodding briefly in Flemeth's direction, Kallian poured a generous measure of the ruby liquid into the two clay goblets that rested on the table's surface. Conscious of the fact that Flemeth was watching her intently, Kallian lifted her goblet and took a long draught.

The wine tasted of rich plums tinged with a spicy undertone of cracked pepper. Setting her cup down, Kallian leaned back in her chair and relished in the warmth that the wine brought with it. After a moment, Flemeth lifted her own cup and took a delicate sip. "Before we begin with your questions, I hope you will indulge an old woman in some curiosity of her own. First, I would like to know how my daughter is faring on your journey."

"Morrigan's doing really well." Kallian kept a pleasant smile on her face as she spoke. "We would have been dead a long time ago if it hadn't been for her magic. It's hard to tell with her, but I think she's actually enjoying the constant danger and excitement."

Flemeth pursed her lips. "Wonderful, I had hoped she would find some interest in the outside world. This swamp has plenty to offer, but people have a tendency to lose sight of the larger picture the more time they spend within its confines. She needed to see what lay beyond the Wilds."

Kallian made a noise of polite agreement before lifting a spoonful of the stew to her lips. Surprisingly, the dish proved to be delicious in spite of its unappetizing appearance. Swallowing the mouthful she had taken, she gestured towards her bowl. "This tastes wonderful."

"I'm so glad you think so." Flemeth sounded like she was amused by Kallian's politeness. "After so many years of living in this place, one learns how to make the most out of what little one has. Now then, let me ask you how you've been faring. How are the preparations for the Blight coming along?"

"We've secured the support of both the Circle Tower and Orzammar. At the moment, we are preparing to seek the Urn of Sacred Ashes in order to restore Arl Eamon to health. Alistair believes that having the Arl's support is crucial to our success."

"Alistair?" Flemeth gave Kallian a blank look.

"He was the other Grey Warden who was with me at Ostagar

Flemeth bobbed her head in understanding. "Ah yes, the Ex-Templar…I had forgotten his name. That's the curse of being old I expect."

"Well, he seems to believe that the Ashes of Andraste are our only solution." Kallian took another swallow of the wine to wet her throat. "That's actually part of what I wanted to ask of you. Do you know if these ashes even exist? I feel as though we can hardly afford to waste time looking for them if they're nothing more than children's stories."

"That is not an easy question to answer with any certainty. I can tell you that a woman named Andraste once lived and died in this land many years ago. After her passing, her remnants were interred in Fereldan and celebrated by her followers. Whether they have survived the long centuries or possess any mystical quality is unknown to me."

Kallian furrowed her brow. "So, in others words, you know about as much as we do."

"Very discouraging isn't it? Most people seem to think that I have the answers to every question imaginable. If you want my advice on the matter, I'll simply say that far stranger things exist on this earth than magical ashes. Don't be quick to dismiss a thing simply because it has been painted into legend." Flemeth flashed Kallian a significant smile.

"I see your point."

"Do you?" Flemeth chuckled and took another sip of the wine. "That's wonderful; sometimes it's unclear even to me."

Kallian tried not to show the disappointment she felt at Flemeth's words. Ever since she had left Redcliffe, part of her had been hoping the witch would be able to either prove or disprove the existence of the Sacred Ashes. It appeared as though their party would simply have to take a risk and hope for the best.

She ate a few more spoonfuls of the stew before asking her next question. "Is there any way to undo the process of becoming a Grey Warden?"

"How do you mean?" Flemeth fixed Kallian with a piercing stare.

"If I wanted to become normal again, would it be possible?"

Flemeth shook her head after some consideration. "No, the Taint is not something to be assumed and then discarded like an old cloak. The moment that blood touched your lips, an extremely profound change was enacted in the very fiber of your being. That's part of what you sacrificed when you accepted the honor."

"Honor?" Kallian smiled bitterly. "Forgive me Flemeth, but I hardly consider this life to be an honor. The only reason I'm here today is because it sounded marginally better than being tortured to death for murdering a noble."

"Be that as it may, you will remain a Grey Warden until death finds you in one fashion or another. That is your fate: to kill the Darkspawn or live long enough to see yourself become like them."

Kallian frowned in confusion. "Like the Darkspawn? What are you talking about?"

"I'm speaking of your Calling, of course." Flemeth paused in the act of raising her cup and studied Kallian's face. For a brief moment, the old witch looked sincerely surprised. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"No, I don't. Would you care to elaborate?"

"Hmph, it seems as though that Alistair has done you something of a disservice. He should have told you that a Grey Warden is not immune to the poison of the Taint. Your resistance to their blood is simply better than that of an ordinary person. Once enough time has passed, you too will begin to feel the pull of the Archdemon as the corruption spreads through your body. As I understand it, the Order refers to this eventuality as a Warden's 'Calling'."

Kallian felt numb. Falling back against her chair, she pinched at the bridge of her nose. "How…how long does that take?"

"I'm no expert, child." Flemeth spread her hands in an expressive gesture. "I've heard anecdotal rumors that suggest that the process takes anywhere from twenty to forty years depending on the individual. Most of the Wardens choose to enter the Deep Roads to die when the time comes. In doing so, they fight the Darkspawn until they are finally cut down themselves."

As Kallian silently mulled over this unpleasant revelation, she found herself surprised by her own lack of a reaction. On a purely academic level, she supposed that she should be feeling angry towards either Alistair or Duncan for keeping this from her.

Then again, she would have been dead a long time ago if it hadn't been for Duncan's intervention. Even if he had neglected to mention the fatal poisoning, the man had effectively given her a second chance at life. She supposed that she actually owed the Wardens for every single breath she took. What was more, a small part of her actually liked the idea of being some big hero for an entire country. When it came down to it, her life now had a purpose. Not too many elves could say the same.

So, with a grim smile, Kallian offered Flemeth a shrug. "At least I know that I have something to look forward when this is all over."

"Ah, what I wouldn't give to be young and brave again." Flemeth's tone had a faintly mocking quality about it. "But tell me Warden, what would you have done if I had offered you a means by which to escape your duty? Would you have fled this land and left the rest of us to the Darkspawn?"

"Nothing like that, I just wanted to know if I had the option to lead a normal life once this is all over. I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting monsters."

Flemeth snorted in derision. "Then I'm afraid you will be disappointed. If it is any consolation, I can assure you that normalcy is highly overrated."

Giving a dutiful chuckle, Kallian drained the last of her wine in a single gulp. She then picked up the bottle and refilled Flemeth's cup before pouring a hearty measure into her own. Unless she was mistaken, the swamp witch would need a drink for this next part. "There's something I should tell you."

"Oh? And what is that?"

Kallian ate another bite of the stew in order to buy a moment to collect her thoughts. Though she was fairly sure this was going to work out fine, she wanted to make sure she was absolutely composed before she tried her luck. Flemeth reminded her of nothing so much as a predator waiting to strike. Showing any sign of hesitancy or fear would likely prove to be disastrous. When she finally did speak, she made an effort to keep her tone as level as possible.

"Morrigan wants you dead."

Across from her, Flemeth went unnaturally still at her words. Raising her eyes from the bowl of soup, Kallian met the witch's gaze without hesitation. Though she was obviously trying to avoid reacting to Kallian's proclamation, Flemeth had clearly been taken off guard by her statement. An uneasy tension fell over the room as they stared at each other.

At long last, Flemeth spoke. "Interesting….why, pray tell, would she wish such a thing on her own mother?"

"I accidentally stumbled on your grimoire while we were liberating the Circle Tower." Kallian traced a finger around the rim of her wine glass in lazy circles. "I gave it to Morrigan after we had finished 'cause she likes books so much. Long story short: she found out how you've been staying alive all these years."

"Is that so?"

"Yep, and she's not terribly happy about it."

Flemeth picked up her wine glass and adopted a thoughtful expression. "My my, I can only imagine the things she must have been telling you. Well, go on then, tell me what horrors my loving daughter has accused me of committing."

"She says that you've have been stealing the bodies of your daughters in order to cheat death for centuries. What's more, she's afraid that you'll attempt to take her body the next time you meet her. Her theory is that sending her on this journey was your way of toughening her up before you adopted her form."

"That's quite a story. Not surprising really, Morrigan has always had a flair for the dramatic." Flemeth gave Kallian a measuring look. "The only question I have is what role you intend to play in all of this? What is it that you hope to gain by betraying my daughter's trust?"

"I'm not betraying Morrigan's trust. She asked me to kill you, and that's exactly what I plan on doing."

For a few beats, Flemeth just stared at Kallian with an incredulous look. Then, the witch burst out into a fit of shrill laughter. "What is this, a jest of some kind?"

Kallian shook her head. "No jest, I'm going to kill you tonight."

"Then you had best hope that saying it makes it so." Flemeth set down her cup and fixed Kallian with a cruel smile. "Do you really think that you can kill me? The legend of Flemeth does not end with my death at the whim of some impudent elf girl."

"Stranger thing have happened."

Flemeth placed both of her hands on the table and stood up. Spreading her arms wide, the fabled Witch of the Wilds glared down at Kallian. "Child, I have walked this land for longer than you can even imagine. I have borne witness to the rise and fall of entire kingdoms. I have killed warriors and innocents alike. I have watched heroes win their glory only to lose it to the ravages of time. I have spoken with saints and learned of forgotten magics so terrible that most men cannot even conceive of them. I have—"

"—just drank Magebane." Kallian finished Flemeth's sentence with a smile. "Quite a lot of it in fact."

The room was suddenly very quiet.

"Magebane?" Flemeth's voice was a mere hiss.

"I'd say we've both had about three times the usual dose." Kallian kept her tone casual to hide the fact that she was trembling with adrenaline. "'Course, the only thing I'm going to be feeling is some pronounced drowsiness because I mixed it with wine. You should be getting that as well…along with a completely inability to use magic for the next six hours."

A flurry of emotions blossomed and then wilted on the weathered landscape of Flemeth's face. Idly noting that the witch was looking a little pale, Kallian picked up her cup and swirled the dark liquid inside. True to his word, the poison that Zevran had given her neither smelled nor tasted like much of anything. Kallian downed the contents of her mug and set it aside.

"The tricky part was getting the poison into the wine without making the bottle look suspicious. That meant getting an entirely new cork to replace the one I'd have to remove. The problem is that I would then have a new cork jammed into a very old bottle. Want to know how I got around that?"

Flemeth slowly lowered herself back into her chair but didn't make a sound. Indifferent to the fact, Kallian continued on as if she had. "I poured the juice from a lemon onto the cork and heated it near a stove. A few minutes later, you have yourself an aged cork. Pretty amazing huh?"

"Very clever." Flemeth's voice was curiously flat. "I wonder if that clever mind of yours can be convinced to see the folly of your actions."

In response, Kallian reached into her backpack and pulled out the second thing she had borrowed from Zevran. Even though the crossbow was small enough to be fired with one hand, it still felt bulky as she leveled it at the woman across from her. She had taken the time to cock it earlier in the evening, and a squat bolt was fitted in the narrow firing groove.

"Is this where you try to convince me to abandon my plan? You really shouldn't bother."

Flemeth glanced down at the menacing weapon. "So, you think that trusting Morrigan is at all wise? That girl is a snake, and she'll turn on you at some point or another. I should know…that's exactly how I raised her to be."

"So what, I should trust you?"

"Why ever not?" Flemeth smiled. "I can provide you with far more assistance than my daughter can. I've always known the Grey Wardens to be practical when it comes to accepting aid from unlikely sources. Besides, if there is one thing I'm sure you can believe, it is that I want to see the Blight ended just as much as you do."

Kallian shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm inclined to believe that you'd also kill me out of spite."

"The same could be said about my daughter." Flemeth shook her head in irritation. "What's to stop her from killing you the second you stop being useful to her?"

"Morrigan's my friend."

Flemeth laughed. "She has no friends. You'd be a fool to trust her."

For a brief moment, Kallian felt a flicker of self-doubt. She suppressed it quickly, but it seemed as though Flemeth had seen something of it on her face. The witch watched her through narrowed eyes before breaking into a reassuring smile. "If you spare my life as I once saved yours, I promise to help you find a way to reverse the Taint. I do not know if it is possible, but I'm willing to—"

Her words were cut off when the bolt took her just below the heart.

Flemeth issued a startled gasp as her hands jerked up to grope at the shaft that protruded from her chest. Squirming about weakly, she pitched forward with a wet gurgle to land face-first in her bowl of stew. After a few spasmodic motions, her body went still.

…

…

Kallian slowly lowered the crossbow and let out the breath she had been holding. Setting the weapon down on the table, she stood up from the chair and warily circled around to where Flemeth was sitting. She didn't allow herself to relax until she had placed two fingers against the witch's neck to check for a pulse. As soon as she was certain that Flemeth was dead, Kallian lowered her guard and mentally prepared herself for the next part of her task.

Reaching into one of the pouches at her waist, Kallian drew out a glass vial that was protected by a hard leather case. She then unsheathed the knife at her back and swiftly drew the razor-sharp metal across the corpse's neck. Thick, red blood oozed out the wound in a sluggish trickle that Kallian caught with the wide neck of the vial. Once the delicate glass was mostly full, she pulled the vial away from Flemeth's neck and fixed its stopper back into place. As she wiped her blade clean, Kallian tried not to think about what Morrigan was planning on using her mother's blood for. Whatever it was, Kallian had a feeling that she was happier not knowing.

Walking back to the other side of the table, Kallian quickly stowed both the vial and Zevran's crossbow in her backpack's main pouch. Part of her was tempted to begin the return trip to Redcliffe immediately. Tarrying around in the house of a woman she had just murdered did not hold much appeal.

Unfortunately, the rational part of her mind knew that leaving tonight simply wasn't an option. Even if she was feeling perversely invigorated from what had just transpired, Kallian knew that her horse would need to rest before they began traveling again. Furthermore, it would be both warmer and far easier to navigate in the light of day.

She grimaced as she set the pack down and made her way back to Flemeth's body. Lifting the witch's right arm, Kallian pulled back the sleeve of the Flemeth's robe to reveal a slender bracelet of silver chain. Just as Morrigan had said, the chain had a small key threaded onto it. Kallian took hold of the key and broke the chain with a firm tug.

Taking her new acquisition in hand, Kallian released Flemeth's arm before making her way over to the bedroom door. It opened into a smallish room with two narrow beds and a single armoire. At the foot of one of the beds, a large chest inset with ornate designs stood in stark contrast with the room's otherwise sterile décor.

As it was the only thing in the house that seemed to have a lock, Kallian made an educated guess and moved to fit the key into the chest's opening. Smiling when the lock clicked open, Kallian pushed back the lid of the chest to reveal its contents. Despite the large size of the chest, the only thing it held was a leather-bound tome with some arcane character burned into its cover. Picking it up, Kallian turned it over a few times before shrugging indifferently.

If this was what Morrigan wanted, then this is what Morrigan would get.

Kallian set the book down on the floor and closed the chest. Satisfied that she had done all that had been asked of her, Kallian shut the door and climbed into the bed that smelled like Morrigan. Though the blankets were rough and the mattress uncomfortable, Kallian found that she was too worn out to care. Burying her face into the pillow, Kallian tried not to think about the corpse in the next room.

She'd have nightmares tonight; of that she was certain.

…

xxXxx

It took her nearly an entire day to get back to Redcliffe.

Part of that had to do with the fact that she had delayed her departure from Flemeth's hut until midmorning. Out of either guilt or some misplaced sense of propriety, Kallian had taken the time to build a pyre for Flemeth in the shed where she had kept her horse overnight. Using lamp oil and the rest of the firewood, Kallian had set fire to the small building in the hopes of giving Flemeth the semblance of a proper burial. She had left immediately after lighting it. There had been no sense in lingering around such an obvious beacon when the Darkspawn were so close.

After that, her progress on the road had been slowed out of consideration for her horse. Well aware that the animal was still tired from yesterday's brutal pace, Kallian had made an effort to go slower on the return journey. Several times, she had dismounted and walked to allow the horse a respite. As a result of all this, she arrived at the city a few hours shy of midnight.

When she drew close to the city's outer limits, Kallian didn't bother to avoid the advance sentries that were stationed on the road. Though they briefly detained her when she approached, both of the men on duty had been one of the soldiers that had been with her when they had freed the Castle from Connor's magic. Not only did they wave her through the checkpoint, but Kallian was also offered a stiff drink which she declined in as polite a manner as she could manage.

She accidentally woke the squire on duty when she reined her horse into the castle's stables. Blinking sleep out of his eyes, the young human glared at her as she dismounted and led the horse over. Kallian gave him an innocent shrug as she passed the reins over.

"I just borrowed him for a bit."

The squire drew himself up to fasten her with a haughty look. "My lord Teagan has ordered that you be taken into the Main Hall upon your arrival. I will be pleased to escort you."

"Yeah? And I'll be pleased to break your arm if you try." Kallian ignored the squire's indignant gasp as she began walking towards the castle. "I'm sure the Bann Teagan would rather get a good night's sleep than see me. Whatever he wants, it can wait 'til morning."

Leaving the man to tend to her "borrowed" horse, Kallian made her way around to the right side of the castle. Rather than enter through the main doors and risk running into someone she'd have to explain herself to, Kallian opted to take the same path that she had used to exit the castle yesterday. It required a considerable amount of climbing, but Kallian had never been adverse to a little breaking and entering.

Five minutes later, she scrambled through the narrow window that led into her room. Letting her pack fall to the floor, Kallian tugged off her cloak and unfastened her jacket with leaden hands. The only thing that kept her from collapsing into bed immediately was the raw pangs of hunger that pulled at her stomach. She hadn't eaten since last night and Flemeth's stew seemed like a lifetime ago.

After discarding her gloves on the bed spread, Kallian opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. While she had missed dinner five hours or so, she had a feeling the kitchen would have some bread and cold meats to offer. As Kallian had made a conscientious effort to get to know the cooks when they first arrived, she didn't imagine they'd give her too hard of a time about the late hours. Closing the bedroom door behind her, Kallian wondered if she could talk someone it making her something warm to eat.

"You're back."

Kallian practically jumped out of her skin. "Gah!"

Heart hammering like a drum, Kallian spun about in place to come face to face with Leliana. Dressed in simple leather pants and a long-sleeved tunic, the bard stood not three feet from Kallian with her arms crossed over her chest.

She wasn't smiling.

"L-Leliana?" Kallian placed a hand over her chest. "Maker's balls, you scared the living shit out of me!"

Leliana stalked closer so that they were practically touching. Her eyes were narrowed and her voice held a thick note of accusation. "Do you know what's worse than having someone you care about mysteriously disappear in the middle of the night?"

"Look I wanted to—"

"What's worse is spending the better part of two days looking for you without the slightest idea of whether or not something awful had happened." Leliana fixed Kallian with a quelling look. "Only to eventually learn the truth from an assassin of all people."

Kallian winced. "Zevran told you?"

"Eventually. It took him well over a day to mention it. He claimed that he delayed in telling us under your orders. After he did, Morrigan was kind enough to fill us in on the reasons behind your little trip. I'm still finding it hard to believe you'd do something so idiotic."

"I wanted to tell you what I was doing, but I couldn't ok?" Kallian tried, and failed to meet Leliana's gaze.

Leliana's mouth hardened into a thin line. Her ordinarily cheerful blue eyes were now clouded with anger. "Why not? Would that have made things too easy?"

"Of course not," Kallian felt a surge of frustration. "I just knew that I couldn't tell everyone where I was going. If I had, then Alistair and Wynne would have probably tried to stop me. My plan was risky enough without adding any other complications."

"Then why not just tell me? Am I another complication?" The word was drawn out into a low hiss.

Kallian shook her head vehemently. "No! I didn't mean it like that at all! Look, this plan had nothing to do with you!"

"Yes, I think I can believe that." Leliana scoffed and fixed Kallian with a dark look. "You obviously do not trust me enough to include me in something that is this important. I just want you to know, that I would have gladly followed you if you had asked."

"That was the point!" Kallian swept a hand over her forehead and clenched a fistful of her hair. "You would have come and then I'd have to worry about you."

A dangerous gleam appeared in Leliana's eye. "You think I cannot handle myself?"

"What? No I didn't mean….damn!" Kallian closed her eyes and took deep breath. Slowly opening them, she held her hands up in surrender. "Leliana, I'm absolute shit when it comes to this kind of thing. Let me just try to explain myself and then you can decide whether you hate me or not."

Leliana's eyebrows drew together as the bard stared down at her. After a few moments, she gave Kallian a grudging nod.

Kallian smiled gratefully and began. "The only reason I didn't want you to come along is because I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to you. My plan was damn near suicidal, and I wasn't prepared to condemn anyone else because of my foolishness. I knew that if I said anything, you'd come along no matter how much I tried to get you stay."

"I could have come and waited for you while you dealt with Flemeth." Leliana's voice was quiet. "There was no reason I could not have simply come along to provide support."

"Maybe, but I was afraid Flemeth would somehow know you were there. She had this way about her that made you think she knew everything. I needed her to be completely at ease and I was terrified that she'd somehow know I hadn't come alone."

Leliana frowned slightly and said nothing. Though she hadn't eased out of her unhappy posture, Kallian could see that she was beginning to lose some of her anger. Hoping to press the small advantage, Kallian stepped a little closer and took Leliana's hands in her own.

"Look, there aren't many people I trust in this world. So when I say that I do trust you, I want you to know that it really means something." Kallian locked eyes with the human woman. "I know I was being stupid, but I thought it was better to leave without warning than to risk you getting hurt. You're…important to me."

To her surprise, a fleeting smile danced across Leliana's lips. "It sounds like you've been practicing."

"Yeah well, I had a lot of time to think on the road."

"No doubt," The smile dropped from Leliana's face and she gently tugged her hands free from Kallian's grip. "But don't think you are getting off easily just because of a few well-chosen words. The amount of trouble you caused was tremendous. I don't think I've ever seen Alistair so worried."

Kallian frowned. "Really? I didn't think that most of them would be all that bothered by it."

"Is it so hard to believe that other people care about what happens to you? Of course they were upset by it. We were planning on going after you in the morning."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I got here when I did."

Leliana nodded in a distracted manner as she studied Kallian's face. Sighing deeply, the bard shook her head and looked off to the side. "I felt like I had been deceived after Zevran told us that you had left by your own choosing. To be quite honest, that hurt me very deeply. I'd like to think that we are close enough to avoid keeping these kinds of secrets from each other."

The bard then gave her a sad look that made Kallian feel as though she had been punched in the gut. Anger and disappointment she could handle, but the naked hurt in Leliana's eyes was more than she could bear. It seemed to her that she had never seen anyone look lonelier than Leliana did right now.

Closing her eyes, Kallian spoke softly. "I wasn't trying to deceive you."

"Perhaps, but that does not change the fact that you did. I value what we have and want nothing more than for us to be honest with each other. For the longest time, my life consisted of little more than lying and being lied to. I don't want to live that way anymore."

Kallian felt a prickle of shame at Leliana's words. She was suddenly very conscious of all the things she hadn't told the other woman. "I…I understand. I'm sorry for hurting you; this won't happen again."

"That's all I ask."

A silence fell between them and Kallian wasn't sure how to break it. The anger seemed to have drained out of Leliana, and the bard looked as tired as Kallian felt. While she hadn't really been up to a conversation of this kind tonight, it was a relief to have this out of the way. For the better part of the horse ride back to Redcliffe, her stomach had been twisted into knots as she had gone over what she was going to say to the Orlesian spy. All things considered, it had turned out better than she had expected.

Favoring Kallian with a wan smile, Leliana tilted her head to one side. "Did you really kill Flemeth?'

"Yep"

"How?"

Kallian started to tell her, and then thought better of it. "That's a story for another time. It would take too long to tell it right now."

"Fair enough," Leliana gazed down at her with a soft expression. "It's enough just to know that you made it back safe and in one piece. One thing does bother me though: how is it that you know how to ride a horse? I would not have thought that to be a common skill amongst Alienage elves."

"Eh, one of my dad's brothers owned a small farm several miles outside of Denerim. When I was younger, we used to go there sometimes for the bigger celebrations and I'd get to ride some of the smaller horses. I wouldn't say that I'm good, but the horse I borrowed from the stables was smart enough to make up the difference."

Leliana laughed quietly. "I'd hope so. Given that the animal you chose was the Arl's favorite horse, I would be inclined to think it well-trained."

"That was Arl Eamon's horse?" Kallian rubbed at the back of her head. "I was not aware of that particular fact."

"Yes, the stable master was quite upset with you. He didn't stop screaming until Bann Teagan himself came down to settle things."

Kallian realized that she was going to have to make plenty of apologies in the next few days. Shrugging in resignation, Kallian flashed Leliana a crooked smile. "Well, I suppose I'll steer clear of the stables until we leave. Speaking of which, did I miss anything important while I was away?"

"Regarding the Blight and our plans? No, I daresay you did not." Leliana smirked at her. "Although, you did miss a rather important meeting in my bedchamber on the night you left. I cannot stress how dire a mistake that was."

Making a sheepish noise, Kallian scuffed the floor with the toe of her boot. "Yeah, I was kicking myself over that. Any chance we could reschedule?"

"Oh, I don't know. I feel as though you will have to make it up to me in some way before we can begin to even consider that." Leliana flashed Kallian a coy look and tucked a lock of red hair behind her ear. "Some things are not so easily forgiven I'm afraid."

"Yeah? Let's try to work on that."

Throwing caution to the wind, Kallian stood on the tips of her toes and planted a quick kiss on Leliana's lips. Rocking back onto her heels, Kallian tried not to let her uncertainty show as she watched for Leliana's reaction.

The bard's eyebrows slowly rose in amazement. "You have a great deal of nerve."

"Sorry, I just thought that—"

Kallian's words where cut off when Leliana's lips crashed against her own with a wild urgency. A moment later, she felt the air whoosh out of her lungs as her back slammed against the wall of the castle. Gasping in surprise, Kallian barely had time to react before Leliana's body crushed her against the rough stone.

For a terrible moment, Kallian felt like an animal caught in a trap.

Completely unbidden, old memories of the last time she had been pinned down by another person surfaced in her mind. Going stiff as her muscles rebelled against the sudden assault, Kallian felt a chilling panic tear its way up from her chest.

Leliana pulled back slightly and gave her a confused look. "Is everything alright?"

Swallowing around the knot in her throat, Kallian willed herself to relax. With no small amount of effort, she ignored the part of herself that urged her to struggle against the restraining presence that held her pressed against the wall. Instead, she tried to focus on the smell of Leliana's hair and the soft feeling of the other woman's body against her own.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Never been better."

Pushing down the turmoil of her thoughts, Kallian tilted her head upwards and kissed Leliana with an intensity born of desperation. She couldn't stop her past from encroaching upon her dreams, but she'd be damned before she allowed it to bleed into this part of her life. This was something she wanted to remain untarnished.

After a brief hesitation, Leliana responded to the kiss passionately. Most of their late night encounters before this had been sweet and gentle. Now though, Leliana was moving against her with a kind of hungry urgency that surprised Kallian. Dimly, she wondered if this was Leliana's way of venting some of whatever she had been feeling over the last few days.

Whatever the reason behind it, Kallian found she didn't mind this change of pace in the slightest.

Letting Leliana take the lead, Kallian turned her head in order to find a better angle before relaxing into the other woman's hold. Leliana made an approving sound and captured Kallian's lower lip between her teeth in a gentle bite. Groaning softly in response, Kallian let one of her hands slip underneath the hem of Leliana's tunic to trace along the bard's soft skin.

That small gesture seemed to signal a shift in their little dance. Reaching a hand down, Leliana caught hold of Kallian's hips and lifted her so that her legs were wrapped around Leliana's slim waist with most of her weight being supported by the wall. Unable to resist giggling at the suddenness of the motion, Kallian pulled away from the kiss with a smirk.

"Shame on you Sister…what would the Reverend Mother say if she saw us now?"

Leliana's grin exposed pearly-white teeth. "Most likely she would say a great deal about sin and penance. If that's your way of telling me to stop…?"

"Never said anything about that."

Kallian looped her arms around Leliana's neck and pulled the bard in for another kiss. Well aware that things were getting more heated than she had initially expected, Kallian found her thoughts straying towards the large bed that was waiting in her room. Though she and Leliana had been going beyond the bounds of ordinary friendship for a while now, they hadn't approached that degree of intimacy. With all that had happened recently, Kallian hadn't really had the time to think about when they'd move on to the next level.

Well, she'd thought about it…just not in a constructive way.

Her train of thought crashed spectacularly when Leliana moved her hips against Kallian's in a very interesting way. Making a noise that was dangerously close to a whimper, Kallian decided to that it was better to live in the moment than to dwell on possibilities. Blindly groping for handle to her door, Kallian realized that—

"Oh please, do not feel compelled to stop on our account. 'Tis a most entertaining spectacle you are putting on."

Kallian and Leliana broke away from the kiss in startled unison. With a surge of dread, Kallian whipped her head to the right and found herself confronted with a very amused witch. At Morrigan's side, a fully-armored Alistair was staring at Kallian and Leliana with his hands at his sides.

He looked as though he were in the midst of an aneurism.

For a few endless seconds, the four of them cheerfully engaged in the most awkward silence Kallian had ever experienced. Flushing furiously, Kallian slowly unhooked her legs from around Leliana's waist so that she could stand on her two feet. With as much dignity as she could muster, Kallian stepped away from Leliana and gave Morrigan a small wave.

"Hey."

"Good evening," Morrigan seemed unusually happy considering the situation. Her yellow eyes were rapidly darting between Leliana and Kallian. "Alistair and I were just talking about you when we heard voices down the hall. I am so pleased to see that you are well."

Kallian bobbed her head. "Err…yeah. I'm just a little tired is all."

"Yes, I daresay you seem very much worn out." Morrigan's eyes danced with ill-concealed mirth as she glanced over at Leliana. "Why else would you have to lean so heavily on the good Sister?"

Alistair made a strangled sound.

"Eh-heh-heh…." Kallian rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah….."

After another pregnant pause, Leliana cleared her throat. In spite of the face that she was trying to keep her composure, Kallian could see a faint blush rising up in her bard's cheeks. "It's getting rather late is it not? I think I may turn in for the evening."

"A splendid idea, I'm sure we are all in need of rest." Morrigan smile turned almost predatory as she spoke.

"Yes…I'm sure." Leliana gave them all a small smile as she slowly began backing away. "Good night everyone, I will see you in the morning. It's good to have you back Kallian."

Ignoring Morrigan's scoff, Kallian smiled back at the fleeing bard. "Thanks, good night."

With a lingering glance in Kallian's direction, Leliana turned around and hurried off in the direction of her room. Considering how awkward this all was, Kallian didn't exactly blame her for excusing herself from the conversation. Turning back to Morrigan and Alistair, Kallian took a quick breath.

"Stay here for a second; I have to grab my pack."

Not waiting for a response, Kallian darted into her room and plucked the heavy backpack off of the floor. Returning to the hallway, Kallian set it at her feet and unfastened the flap that covered the main compartment. Glad that the task allowed her to avoid their eyes, Kallian drew out the grimoire and the vile of Flemeth's blood.

She passed them over to Morrigan with no small amount of relief. Both the book and the blood had given her the creepy-crawlies. "Here, I think this is everything you wanted."

Morrigan didn't even bother to respond as she jerked both items out of Kallian's hands. Slipping the grimoire into a bag at her side, the witch immediately began unfastening the leather case that protected the glass vile. Once she had worked the vial free, Morrigan held it up to the torchlight and began to mutter in the odd language of magic.

At first, nothing happened, but then the vial responded to Morrigan's spell. As Morrigan spoke, the vial began to glow with a thin aura of silvery light. Kallian watched in a mixture of trepidation and interest as the glow began to grow steadily brighter. Then, all at once, the light winked out with so much as a sound.

Morrigan sighed deeply and favored Kallian with a genuine smile. "'Tis done then, she is dead. Words cannot convey the depths of my gratitude. 'Twould not be an exaggeration to say that you have more than likely saved my life. I am beholden to you."

"Nah, you saved my life back at Ostagar. Let's just consider us even and leave it at that."

"I…thank you. This was a great kindness." Morrigan seemed slightly troubled as she said this. Once again, Kallian was forcibly struck by the contradiction that the witch presented. As smart and as capable as she was, Morrigan was still like a child who had never learned to play with others.

Kallian smiled in an effort to put her at ease. "Don't worry about it. Enjoy your book."

"Yes, I shall at that." Morrigan nodded and placed a hand at the bag at her side. Tossing Kallian another sly smile, she then began walking in the direction of her own chambers. "Enjoy your bard."

"Hilarious."

Morrigan laughed to herself before disappearing down the long hallway. Kallian stared after her for a moment before turning to face Alistair. Though he looked as though he had gotten his brain back into working order, Alistair was still looking a little shell-shocked. At her expectant look, he seemed to shake himself before speaking.

"Erm…Hello there. Glad to see you're not dead and all." He was having some difficulty meeting her eyes. "I was really worried when Morrigan said you were going to kiss Flemeth...err kill Flemeth."

Kallian gamely suppressed a smile. "Sorry about that, I'll try to explain everything tomorrow."

"Yes…yes, that will be good. I have questions….so many questions." Alistair coughed awkwardly and smiled in that endearing way of his. "Right, well there is important Warden Stuff that requires my attention in the opposite direction. So I'm going to go…pay attention to it now."

"Ok, see you tomorrow."

Alistair mumbled something unintelligible and practically fled down the corridor. After following his progress with a raised eyebrow, Kallian leaned back until her head was resting against the wall. With a sigh of disbelief, she buried her face in her hands and sagged against the stone. As hard as she tried, Kallian was having a hard time imagining a way in which that could have been more embarrassing. She supposed that it was just as well. The others would have found out eventually.

Smiling in spite of herself, Kallian pushed off the wall and began making her way down to the kitchens. She'd worry about all the important stuff in the morning. For right now, all she wanted was a full stomach and a soft bed to sleep in.

So long as she got both of those, life was good.

...

xxXxx

Alright, super big thanks to my awesome beta-reader Kaidian who provided wonderful insight on some of the interaction between Kallian and Leliana.

Thanks a million to everyone who took the time to read and review. I really appreciate the extra effort and I do my absolute best to respond whenever possible. On that note, I would be happy as a pig in shit if anyone would care to tell me how this chapter worked out for them.

I'll be trying to get the next chapter out in a respectable amount of time, but my next two weeks are filled with finals and essays. On the plus side, after those are over I'll have a good four months of off time to finish this fic up.

Cheers and please considering leaving a review!