Chapter 21: So Close To Losing You!

A/n: This is going to be the last chapter of this story because I am mega mean to you ;) but during the Christmas Holidays (next week until the ninth of January!) I shall write a continuation to this one. It would be from James and Lily's death onwards until the end of the final battle :) Hope you don't hate me :( I'd be deeply upset!

Lily was extremely confused with this whole situation and really wasn't sure what to do with herself. Whatever had happened to Sirius and Remus had really screwed up James' head if he freely cried in front of her and Alice like that. She decided shed go to the hospital wing to see for herself. As she walked James kept flooding into her head. It was just his face. His gorgeous hazel eyes spilling precious tears that one only had to be so lucky just to see... And those tears held unseen memories that again shall never see the light of day. She shook her head and mentally slapped herself many times. She should not be thinking of James like that... Even though she secretly wanted to. When she got to the wing she felt a little sick.

Remus was sitting next to Sirius who was unconscious and frozen in the same place. Remus looked terrible for one thing. He looked sick and his hair was spiking all over the place. His hand that was in Sirius' one was shaking like crazy and Lily wasn't sure if it was from fear or the coolness of his boyfriends skin. Actually she wasn't sure if they were still with that status or not. She walked over silently and placed a hand on Remus' shoulder making the boy jump and stare at her. She bit back a gasp. His eyes had dark bags under them and his once bright and lovely amber eyes were dark and glazed with tears. Shed never seen him look like this before.

"Remus?"

"Yes?" He said quietly, his voice shaking making the word sound more like a tremble. Lily summoned a chair and sat next to him. Remus broke down into tears straight away and Lily wrapped her arms around her tightly. Remus wrapped his round her and sobbed into her shoulder getting everything out of his system.

"Shh..." She whispered softly and buried her face in his shoulder feeling her own tears well into her eyes. She knew how much Remus loved Sirius and she could see the even though he should be made at him he could never stop loving him. She could see in Sirius' eyes that when Remus wasn't in the room his eyes looked dark and sad but when Remus walked in you saw the glint of happiness and the brightness flood back into them. Remus made his world a brighter place and even Lily knew that. She knew a lot of girls were disgusted to know Sirius was in fact gay but Lily thought it great. He never came across as some one who liked guys but then neither did Remus. She was just happy that they both decided they were that one person they needed to make them happy.

"What if he dies? A-and I-I am on my own?"

"Shh Remus. Sirius wont die. He knows regardless of what you said you still loved him even if it had diminished a little bit. He wont die." Whispered Lily as she allowed her tears to drop into his shirt. She rubbed her thumbs in between his shoulder blades and his shaking seemed to seize, but the sobs kept going and she felt her school shirt sticking to her skin. She didn't care... Remus was a more important thing than a sopping wet school shirt.

"Y-you don't k-know that... I-I might lose everything Lily."

She didn't know what to say to Remus. She didn't know how to look after him like this. Remus was a fragile person and she knew that but she didn't know the reason for it. She didn't want to ask but she was so upset. Remus had always been someone to hide emotions because he was scared to be shunned for showing them. But again he couldn't stop himself.

"Remus, hush now and look at me."

He shook his head. He thought shed seen enough of his dead look. He didn't want to make her feel sick just by looking at him. Lily smiled sadly and tried not to laugh at him. She just wanted to see him smile just briefly. Remus felt Lily smile into his shoulder but refused to smile.

"Remus look at me, or I'll make you."

Remus froze and all sobs stopped, and he flew up straight as a pole and his cheeks went a little bit pink. Lily grinned now even thought the site in front of her was absolutely atrocious.

"Hmm I think you know how I got this information no?" She teased and Remus blushed a little bit deeper. He knew exactly where she got that information from and Remus hated James. James was stupid and couldn't believe James spilled such information. He nodded and sighed.

"I-I'm a state Lily and I... I just want Sirius to wake up. I want to tell him I'm sorry."

"He'll wake up Remus and he'll forgive you and you'll be happy again."

"Thanks Lily."

"I'll see you later Remus. You'll be alright."

Remus sighed and pushed himself back on his chair watching Sirius. Remus was not getting mad and angry and well he wasn't bored but he was becoming impatient. He wanted to hold Sirius in his arms. He wanted to kiss him again and share another time like they did in the Room of Requirement. As he was pondering on all these thoughts... Sirius stopped moving... He'd stopped breathing. Remus panicked. He ran for Madam Pomfrey. Once he'd explained he actually felt so dizzy he fainted to the floor in her office. His knees had gone week just at the thought that Sirius may never breath again. It was really a moment of panic. He wouldn't normally faint... All of the time.

Madam Pomfrey did everything she could. She kept herself calm but her head was trying to spread the fear and everything else through her body but she was strong willed when it came to her patients. She would not let him die. No! She would do her best knowing also how much Remus cared for him. She would not let the boy she obviously despised die.

Sirius slowly blinked his eyes open again to the world around him. He didn't panic. He smiled. He actually thought he'd died and gone to heaven but then he realised that he hadn't. Remus was lying next to him... Knocked out. Sirius slowly lifted his still cold body and shifted off walking over to Remus' bed.

"Rem?"

"Mahuh?" Mumbled Remus making Sirius laugh. He loved it when Remus just wakes up. He never uses proper speech. Remus blinked his eyes open and stared blankly at Sirius for a moment before pulling him onto his bed. Sirius pulled Remus into his chest as the younger boy cried. Sirius cried himself when Remus said,

"I-I'm so sorry Siri. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say we were over. I still love you. God I was so close to losing you."

a/n: SOOOO! That is it folks. There will be a sequel so do not fret. It will be up sometime in the Christmas Holidays as I had mentioned. I hope you all enjoyed this and I am so please with my first Wolfstar fic! Please gimmy a review! Thanks :)x

~Hunter~ x

P.S Please look out for the sequel :) I love you all ;)x