(Chapter Twenty-One)

Drained from his flight, Rick put his luggage in one corner of the room, then hurried to make a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Anna, it's Rick. I'm here."

"Good. I'm glad you got here safely."

"Thanks. How is Dee Dee?"

"She's okay, I guess. She's trying to be brave, but I know it's hard. She does seem to be doing better than she was a couple of months ago. I've actually seen her smile and heard a laugh a few times."

"That's great." Rick did want her to be happy, but wished he'd been the one to provide happiness for her.

"She still needs you, Rick." Anna replied. "She won't say it, but we all know it's true."

"Yeah...maybe." Rick's jaw tightened. "I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"We're going to the house today to sort through some of the things. I don't know how she'll cope once we get there." Anna sighed. "I wish so much that you could be there with us."

"So, do I. Mark will be there, won't he?"

"Yes, he will."

"That's good." As hard as it was for him to feel replaced, Rick knew that Dee Dee needed as much support that she could get.

"Yes, I'm glad he'll be there, too. She seems to feel secure with him."

"I know." Rick sighed.

"Rick, I didn't mean for it to sound as if..."

"No...no, it's okay. I want her to feel secure. I'd do anything to make sure she's not suffering. I just hope that my coming here to see her won't make it worse."

"I know. We'll just have to hope for the best. I'll call you when I get a chance to let you know how things are going."

"I'd appreciate it."

Riding along in Mark's rental car and looking out the window, Dee Dee saw many of the familiar things that reminded her that she was only minutes from her home, and she felt her heart flutter as the tension began to build. She tried to focus on the music playing softly on the stereo, and engage in small-talk with her companions, but the thoughts of how she may not fair well inside the house, had her attention.

When they pulled into the driveway, she sat quietly, only glancing at the house a few times.

"Take your time." Mark advised. "We'll go in when you're ready.

"I'm ready." Dee Dee replied, softly. "I can't sit here forever."

Mark got out and went to open the car doors for the ladies. He and Anna trailed behind Dee Dee as she slowly lead the way to the front door. Her nerves were starting to get the better of her and she accidentally dropped the keys.

"Let me." Mark picked them up and unlocked the door.

Dee Dee took a deep breath, turned the knob and stepped inside. With her mother and Mark right behind her, she stood only a few feet from the door and scanned the living room for a few moments.

The trio moved further into the room and Mark closed the door behind them as Anna opened the curtains.

The living room was neat and in order, just as they'd left it. Mrs. Leyland, their neighbor and AJ's part-time babysitter, had volunteered to dust and vacuum once or twice a week. Though Dee Dee didn't want her to put herself to the trouble, she was most grateful for her kindness.

She put her purse on the sofa and looked at the family portrait over the mantle. She nearly allowed herself to smile at seeing the images, but her eyes quickly began to burn with tears as she began to speak. "They're supposed to be here. That's my family, and they're gone. They're gone."

Anna put her arm around her daughter and guided her to the sofa. "It'll be really hard for a long time, but you'll make it through."

"Sometimes I wonder." Dee Dee sniffled as Mark handed her a tissue. "It still seems like it's all a horrible nightmare at times, but then something shakes me and brings me to reality. It's so hard to bear."

Mark sat on the arm of the sofa and stroked her back. "You can only do what you can for yourself, you know? Surviving such a tragedy isn't something that you can learn from anyone else. You may get a few helpful notes, but the healing is all on your terms."

Dee Dee nodded. "That makes sense, but sometimes I feel that people want me to react a certain way because of how they, or someone they know reacted, no matter the circumstances. It's hard to explain, you know?"

"I know what you're saying." Mark replied.

"Thanks. I'm glad someone does." Dee Dee sighed and rose to her feet. "I guess we should get started. We can go through Alex's things, first."

Mark went back to the car to gather the folded boxes they'd purchased to pack the items, then joined the ladies upstairs in the master bedroom. "Any particular place you'd like for me to start?" He asked.

"Umm..." Dee Dee hesitated. "Would you help me pull his suits and coats from the closet?"

"Sure."

"Mom, would you gather his things from the dresser?"

"Of course."

The group began carefully packing the items into the boxes to be donated to charity. Dee Dee had made a list of some of the items to be donated for an auction to raise money for a local children's hospital, such as his golf clubs, art pieces, watch collection and car.

Nearly three hours had passed, and it was hard for Dee Dee to stay focused on her chores as each item stirred up a memory, reminding her that those would be the only memories she'd ever have with her husband. She felt angry and disappointed about the situation and because of Alex leaving her in the way he did, but even more-so for being a part of her losing her baby. She didn't know if she could ever forgive him or Rick for destroying her life.

"I need a break." She stated quietly. "I've got a headache."

"Let's all take a break and have a bite to eat." Anna suggested. "You can take something for your headache, too."

Dee Dee followed her mother and Mark down to the living room. "I think I'd just rather go back to the hotel. I can't do anymore today." Glancing up at the photo of her baby was pushing her further into depression. "I just want to go. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow."

"That's fine." Anna replied. "We have plenty of time to get things in order."

"I agree." Mark added. "You just let us know when you're ready to come back."

Dee Dee nodded and wiped her tears. "There's just so much to do...to pack up. The dishes and cookware in the kitchen, Alex's office, my clothes, my art supplies, the furniture, my baby's...things. His clothes...toys...everything." She felt a chill come over her body. "I can't stay here. I have to go, now. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow, but I have to go, now."

"Hello?"

"Hi, Rick." Anna greeted.

"Hi. How did it go?" Rick settled on the bed in his hotel room.

"She did okay for a while. We got a few of Alex's things packed up in the bedroom, but after three hours, she was tired and had gotten a headache."

"I hope she feels better. Are you going back tomorrow?"

"I don't know if she is, but I think I might."

"I want to see her, Anna." Rick stated.

"I know you do, but we have to make sure to find a right time."

Rick sighed. "Do you think there's any such thing?"

"We can only hope and pray."

"I'll try to be patient, but I have to see her. I have to see her soon."

Dee Dee changed clothes, putting on shorts and a t-shirt and lay across the bed to try and get relief from her headache. A few moments later, Mark called to check on her.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asked.

"Not really."

Have you ordered room service, yet?"

"No." Dee Dee replied softly. "Maybe in a little while."

"How about now? You need to eat, and it'll probably help to ease your headache."

"Yeah, well..."

"Let me put it another way. I'm coming over and ordering for you, then I'll give you a neck massage. I told you I'd take care of you, and I meant it. I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

After Mark hung up, Dee Dee really wasn't surprised by his announcement. She'd come to learn that he was as stubborn as she was, and that he genuinely cared for her...maybe more than she cared for herself. Fifteen minutes later, he was at her door.

Mark went directly to the phone and ordered sandwiches and salads for the both of them, then asked Dee Dee to sit in the center of the bed while he sat behind her. He began to massage her temples, and then her neck and shoulders. When the food arrived, they began a fairly serious conversation as they ate.

"Dee Dee?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been having a lot of headaches, lately. Do you think it's just tension, or could it be something more serious?" Mark was truly concerned.

"Don't worry." Dee Dee replied. "When I get overly tired or stressed, I get bad headaches. If you've noticed, I didn't have any while at your house, while spending time with your friends or while we were in Paris." She sighed. "It's just been during the past couple of days leading up to today. I knew I'd have to go back to the house. It was just too much, plus I know I'll have to go again."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure. Don't worry."

Taking her finished plate away, Mark asked Dee Dee if she'd like him to continue the massage. She did.

As the minutes passed, she felt more and more tension leaving her body and thoughts of what she intended to talk to Mark about began to appear.

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember that we said we'd talk about how we feel about each other?"

"Yes, I remember." Mark's hands slipped from Dee Dee's shoulders as she turned to face him.

"I think I'm ready to talk."

Mark was silent for a moment. "Are you sure?"

Dee Dee nodded. "Yes."

She lay down on the bed and propped herself up on her side to face Mark. They stared at each other for a moment, making sure that each would feel comfortable lying next to one another. Mark lay beside her, propping himself up in the same way that Dee Dee had done.

"Where do we start?" Mark asked.

Dee Dee pursed her lips before replying. "I guess with some pretty blunt questions that I have."

"Whatever you want."

"How do you feel about me? Are you glad that we met? Do you think about me when you're not near me?"

Mark was only partly surprised by the questions. Though they've known each other for only a short time, he'd been able to pick up on some of her feelings before she expressed them in any way. Besides, he'd been keeping similar thoughts to himself and wondered assumed that Dee Dee may have at least one of her own.

"I love you, Dee Dee. I've loved you as a friend, instantly, but lately, I feel that I'm falling in love with you." Mark replied fearlessly. "I think you may have known that, already, but I've wanted to tell you when we both thought you were ready to hear it. I'm very glad that we met. My life has taken a turn for the better because of you, and I'm glad I've been able to help you along as you heal. When I'm not near you, I think of you all the time. I find myself losing focus on other things like my work, but I don't mind. I don't mind it at all."

Mark was right. Dee Dee had already felt that he was falling in love with her, but the confirmation was something that she did appreciate. "Thank you for answering so honestly. I shouldn't have expected anything but honesty from you."

"You're welcome." Mark took her hand in his. "What are your feelings toward me?"

Dee Dee stared intently at Mark. "I love you, Mark. I love you as a dear friend, and to be honest, I feel that I'm falling in love with you, too. I think about you all the time, I feel safe with you, I find myself laughing and smiling when I'm with you, and I feel that you understand and care for me more than anyone else does. That includes my own mother."

Mark felt sympathetic. Each time he heard of Dee Dee being hurt by her mother, it tugged at his heart because he still couldn't imagine not being close with his mother. "I'm not sure of the reason why this is happening to us...why it's happening so fast, I mean."

"It's scary, isn't it?" The two replied in unison, both with a slight smile on their faces.

It was one more moment of them being in sync, once again proving that such things only happen to people who are genuinely connected.

Dee Dee sighed and gripped Mark's hand a little tighter. "I don't know if I'd be alive today if not for you. You saved my life."

"I thank God that I was there for you. I hurts me to think that you may not have survived the suffering."

"I know it's really soon after losing Alex, but I can't help how I feel when I'm with you. I don't know when I've ever felt so secure. You've always been nothing but an absolute gentleman...never trying to take advantage of me, and you've never even tried to kiss me on the lips before." Dee Dee smiled at the thought. "I like that about you, but I've wondered what it would be like to kiss you."

Mark smiled in return. "I have to admit that I've wanted to, but only when I felt that you were ready. I don't have any reason to rush you or myself when I know it's something that we can control. Falling in love...not so easy to control, but taking our time to be sure of certain things...we can control."

"I fully agree. You're always giving me more and more reasons to realize just how amazing you are."

"Same here." Mark replied. "I've never met anyone like you, and I doubt that I ever will. You're extremely unique in so many amazing ways. Let me ask you...where do we go from here? I think you still need time to build yourself back up from your loss. It's only been a very short time. If we're meant to be together, then no amount of time that passes will make any difference...several months, a year,...whatever, it'll happen when and if it's suppose to."

Dee Dee hesitated for a moment. "I think you're right. I know that I have some more soul-searching to do, and I need to find more peace. I don't want to do anything to cause us to drift apart before we've established a more serious relationship."

"Good. We've both been through some harsh moments in our lives, and we just need to be sure about everything."

"We'll continue to help each other."

"Yes, we will." Mark had more questions and would tread carefully as it was a subject that would most likely cause Dee Dee to be uncomfortable or possibly angry. "We need to get something else situated. It really has a huge impact on how we can, or if we can move forward at any time in the future."

Dee Dee noted the seriousness of his tone and facial expression. She slowly sat up and rest her back against the headboard. "What is it?"

Mark sat up, too. "Your feelings toward Rick."

Dee Dee glanced across the room for a second, keeping her emotions intact. "What do you mean? You know how I feel about him."

"I know how you feel about him, now. I don't know how you'll feel about him if you two had the chance to sort things out."

"There's nothing to sort out." Dee Dee sighed. "I don't want anything to do with him after what he did to me."

Mark knew that Dee Dee needed to talk to Rick. As much as he loved her, he knew that there was some unfinished business between the two, and if it could be resolved, it may boost her healing process. He knew that her grief had to be a guide for how she turned against Rick. With what he knew about their relationship, there was no way that in her best state of mind, she's be able to completely throw him away, and with such hatred. He knew that Rick genuinely cared for...even loved Dee Dee. He'd thought about it for weeks, knowing that if they worked things out, he could lose her, but he cared that much for her. He'd rather she be happy in any way possible, even if it mean losing her to Rick.

"Do you still trust me, Dee Dee?"

"Yes." Dee Dee answered without a second thought. She couldn't explain it, but there was something about Mark that made her want to listen to him...to understand him...to learn from him.

"Then do this for us. When you have the opportunity, talk to Rick. Don't ask me why, but I feel that you need to do this. If it's nothing more but to tell him that we're working on a relationship. Maybe he'll leave you alone, then."

Dee Dee thought for a moment, hating the idea of talking to Rick, but felt that maybe Mark was right. Maybe he'd leave her alone if he knew she was involved with Mark. "Alright. If I ever see him again, I'll tell him."

"Fair enough." Mark kissed her temple and her cheek. He didn't know how his plan would play out, but he was willing to go ahead with it. He was willing to do whatever it took to help her find peace.

(Continued...)