Hey guys! I'm updating from a special location right now! But I can't say where.

A loud high pitched scream pierced through the air. The Four Newmans jumped up at the sound. They were currently staying in a hotel for their next gig in a theater haunted by a ghost butt. "What was that?" Konnie asked her sister "Well it couldn't have been Larry. He's right here." Kim pointed out. "Hey! I do not scream like that!" Larry defended himself.

Flashback

Larry is sitting on the couch in the garage when Konnie walks in with a book. "Hey Larry, the spider in this book looks just like Kin!" "Spider! Aaaaaaaaah!" Larry shrieks.

Flashback end

"I hate spiders..." Larry pouted. "The scream sounded like Mina's!" Carrie realized. The Newmans shared a worried look and went down to the library where Mina was.

They opened the door to see Mina on the floor and not moving "Sis!" Carrie ran over worried. "Oh no she's dead!" Konnie yelled, "Actually she's still breathing." Carrie told Konnie "Nope. She's dead." Konnie insisted. The others just rolled their eyes. "Well what happened to her?" Larry asked as he looked around. He spotted a broken cane not far from her, the top was missing though. Larry examined it closely until Konnie yanked it away and looked at it herself "This is it! The murder weapon!" Konnie announced.

Kim looked to her sister "First, Mina's just unconscious, and second, how could she have been 'murdered' with a stick?" Kim used air quotes on 'murdered'. "Well dear sister of mine, the answer is simple. On the other end of the stick, was a shark tied to it. And it proceeded to eat Mina." "Mina's right here! She wasn't eaten!" Kim reminded her twin, "Then it must have been...a laser stick!" Konnie gasped "You are so off that it hurts." Kim remarked.

Carrie and Larry lifted Mina up and sat her on a couch "Well, aside from all the strange assumptions, we should figure out what happened to her." Larry reasoned. "The murderer could be anyone..." Konnie looked around "Even you!" She pointed to Larry. "Wha-Why me?!" Larry asked "I know what you did!" Konnie zoomed over and pointed her finger on his chest.

Konnie imagination time! "You were angry that Mina was sharing a room with Carrie instead of you. So you decided to get rid of Mina to be with your love." A mustached, top hatted, caped Larry laughed evilly as Mina sat on a couch reading a book. The events happen as Konnie continued narrating. "You snuck up behind the couch while she was reading 'How to tell your best friend that your not a doormat for her', and you pulled out your Laser on a stick and disintegrated her!"

The imagine spot ended and Konnie finished "And that is how you killed Mina." Larry just looked at her like she was crazy "Mina is right here, undisintegrated, and there were no lasers involved, I was with you so I couldn't have done it, and I am not jealous of her sharing a room with Carrie!" Larry explained. Konnie placed a hand on her chin and pondered for a moment. "Then the real culprit is...you!" She pointed to Kim. "I didn't do it!" Kim defended herself. "That's what they all say."

Konnie imagination time! "You were worried that one day Mina would surpass you in being smart, so you got rid of the competition." Kim was wearing the same attire as Larry as she watched Mina near the fireplace. "You brought out your firework on a stick and shot it at her chest! The hole in her chest was so painful that she died from it!" Konnie narrated.

Back in reality "Konnie, that makes no sense. Besides, she has no hole and I was with you the whole time." Kim pointed out. "Hmm, if it wasn't you or Larry...then it must've been Carrie!" Konnie realized. Carrie glared at her "What!? Why would I do anything to my own sister?!" "It went a little like this." Konnie began as she walked away and stared out a window dramatically "Wait, where'd that window come from?" Kim asked.

Konnie imagination time! Carrie is dressed the same as the others as she twists her mustache and giggles evily. "You wanted more attention from your parents, so you decided to get rid of your sister to become an only child." Mina is walking through the hall as a silhouette of Carrie came up from behind her. "You snuck up on her while she was distracted, and sliced her in half with a axe on a stick!

In the real world, "Konnie, that never and will never happen." Carrie insisted. "She's in one piece too, it wasn't an axe." Larry explained. Konnie thought for a moment "Then there's only one culprit left...me!" She declared.

Konnie imagination time! Konnie is in the same outfit as the others. "Mina ate my ice cream when I went to the bowling alley last Wednesday, so I got even." Mina is sleeping in her bed when Konnie comes in dangling on a rope. She falls down and shakes her fist and looks up angrily "I said gently!" She yelled. "So,when Mina was asleep, I used my taxi on a stick to drive her to the rocket that Kim built, and blasted her off into space!"

In reality, the other Newmans just looked at her like she was crazy, Kim was the first to speak up "That one was the most least likely of all! It defies all reason and logic!" "And you we're with us too! It couldn't have been you!" Larry reminded his blonde friend. "Oh right...well I'm done. Who wants cake?" Konnie shrugged.

A groan was heard and the Newmans saw Mina rubbing her head and waking up "Ow, my head..." She mumbled "Zombie!" Konnie screamed. She tried to run but Kim just grabbed the back of her shirt so she just ran in place. "I'm glad your ok sis, what happened?" Carrie asked Mina. Mina took a deep breath and began...

The events play out as Mina narrates "I was looking for a book in the library, when I saw something coming towards me all creepy like. I panicked and started waving a broom around at it and ended up breaking the broom. Then I saw what was in front of me, and I fainted."

"And then you came back from the dead to-" Konnie interjected until Kim grabbed her mouth, and shook her head disapprovingly. Larry raised his hand up and asked "So what did you see that made you faint?" Mina hesitated and answered "The ghost butt that haunts the theater."

Yeah, kinda inspired by this gay ghost that pinches handsome boys butts in a theater I went to. Strangest. Legend. Ever.

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