Ch 20

A few weeks later Emily was up and moving around a lot better, almost to the point where she didn't need JJ helping her do things, but the truth was that Emily didn't really want JJ and Henry to leave. She had gotten used to having them around and she loved watching the boys interact together. They had fallen into a routine and she had to admit she enjoyed it. She and JJ would cook dinner together and then occasionally they would sit down and watch a movie with the boys. Afterwards the boys would take turns with baths and getting ready for bed. But usually not long after JJ and Emily had gone to bed the three boys would end up in Emily's room as well.

Also as the time began to pass and Emily was more mobile the boys began sneaking into bed with Emily and JJ as well, rather than sleeping on the floor. Sometimes Emily and JJ would hear them and feel them climbing into bed with them and sometimes they would just wake up in the morning surrounding by little bodies.

Exactly six weeks later Emily was released and allowed to return to work with light duty, which to her meant mainly paperwork.

"Ugh I hate paperwork JJ. Maybe I'll just stay here with the kids" Emily said as she pulled on her suit jacket

"Emily the kids need to get used to not having us around during the day. I think we have already spoiled them enough as it is." JJ replied

"Yeah but I like being at home with them"

"I know you do sweetie but they will be in a regular school next year and then you will complain about how bored you are"

"Ugh fine. I just can't wait to partake in the real action at work!" Emily stated excitedly

JJ rolled her eyes as she followed Emily down the stairs, "Well you heard the doctor, it will be another two weeks before he releases you for full duty and that's only if you can pass the test"

"Oh no worries there I will be completely prepared to pass that test with flying colors" Emily told her as they reached the bottom of the stairs

"I'm sure you will, but you better not be planning on working out in the gym too strenuously with Morgan these next two weeks"

Emily turned around to look at JJ, "Now why on earth would you say something like that?"

JJ smirked, "Please Em, you two are ridiculous and both have a hard time following orders. And since both of you are technically on light duty I'm sure your goal is to push each other as hard as physically possible to regain your strength"

Emily started to object but couldn't think of anything to say so she just shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe"

She then turned and walked through the living room, passing the boys who were watching cartoons on television.

"Bye boys, you guys behave the babysitter and tutors, okay" Emily told them as she walked towards the front door

JJ followed Emily but stopped momentarily to kiss Henry on the top of the head. Then she continued her trek, passing the babysitter as she followed Emily out the front door.

"Katie if you have any problems with them just call me on my cell, okay"

"No problem JJ, but I'm sure they will be fine" Katie told her as she ushered the women out the door

Emily and JJ walked into the bull pen and were immediately greeted by Reid and Morgan.

"There they are" Morgan said as he got up from his desk

"Hey there stud" Emily said as she and Morgan hugged

"I am looking good today aren't I" he stated as he popped the collar on his shirt

"Wow, I'm going to let you two mature adults catch up, I'll be in my office" JJ stated as she rolled her eyes and walked away

Morgan and Emily started their usual banter before turning and ganging up on Reid. They loved teasing the genius, he was like the little brother neither of them ever had.

Before they knew it the day was over and it was time for Emily and JJ to head back home.

"So was your first day back, really that bad?" JJ asked as she drove her SUV back to Emily's condo

"No it wasn't, I almost forgot how much I missed everyone. It was actually a pretty fun day."

"Is that because you and Morgan did nothing but goof around most of the day?" JJ asked with a smirk, glancing at Emily

"No…I mean we didn't goof around all day" said Emily

"Oh right, you two actually had a session with the psychologist. What was that an hour out of the day?" laughed JJ

"Maybe" Emily answered quietly

"Did it go okay?" JJ asked, keeping her eyes on the road

"Yeah it was fine" the brunette answered

A few minutes later JJ pulled into the parking garage of Emily's condo and the two women got out and headed to the elevator. As soon as they walked through the front door they were greeted by all three boys.

"Hi Momma, how was your first day?" Ethan asked quickly as he wrapped his arms around Emily's waist

"Hi Momma" Henry said as he wrapped his little arms around JJ's knees

"How are you feeling? Are you okay after working?" Declan asked Emily, at the same time as the other two boys were asking their questions.

"I feel fine sweetie, I'm just doing paperwork, but my day was good" she answered looking from Declan to Ethan

Both boys nodded as they continued to stand there looking at Emily. Katie then walked up to them with her bag and waved goodbye.

"Bye JJ, bye Emily, the boy's were great I'll see you tomorrow morning" she said as she walked out the door.

As Emily continued to walk through the kitchen to the living room, she untucked her shirt and threw her jacket onto the couch before removing her shoes. As she turned around JJ was attempting to do the same with Henry standing on her feet as she walked towards the living room. As JJ made it to the living room, she plopped down on the sofa. Henry then climbed up on her lap and kissed her on the lips.

"Love you Momma" he told her with a smile

JJ smiled back at her son, putting her arms around him and hugging him close, "I love you too buddy"

Emily had already started towards the kitchen, but had managed to see most of the interchange and her heart melted at the site. Declan and Ethan had followed Emily to the kitchen and both boys were now sitting on bar stools watching her pull out items to make dinner.

"What's for dinner?" Declan asked

Emily turned around and couldn't help but smile at the two of them. Declan was sitting there, his bright blue eyes staring inquisitively at her, while Ethan sat beside him, his little elbows on the bar supporting the weight of his head that was in his hands.

"I think we are going to bake some chicken and have a salad" she answered as she leaned against the counter to look at the boys.

Immediately Ethan turned up his nose and scrunched up his face, "Ewww, salad?"

Emily let out a laugh, knowing both Ethan and Henry would not eat salad. Declan would, but he didn't like it, he just wasn't a kid that complained.

"How about some macaroni and cheese to go with your chicken little man?" she asked, directing her question to Ethan

"Okay but you better makes sure that Henry has some too, coz he don't like salad neither" Ethan told her as he leaned back and crossed his arms.

"Yes sir" Emily answered with a mock salute

Some time later, dinner had been eaten and dishes washed. Emily and JJ were relaxing on the couch with a glass of wine while the boys were upstairs getting ready for bed.

"So Emily I've been meaning to talk to you" JJ started

"About?"

"Well you are obviously much better and your wounds are almost healed, to the point where you don't need to bandage them. You don't need to wrap your ribs any more either, so there really isn't any need for me to be here. I mean I can't stay here forever, the team will start to get suspicious. I'm surprised they didn't ask questions when we both showed up at work today"

Emily was shocked by JJ's statement even though she was expecting it and knew that it was true.

" I just…I need to get Henry back into his routine at home and he needs to understand that Mason won't always be around….He needs to get back to his stuff and his bed…and…this is harder than I thought it would be" she confessed as she looked up at Emily.

"I understand JJ. You and Henry need your space. I mean you guys can't stay here forever, right" Emily said

JJ looked at Emily, not knowing if she was posing a question or not, "Right"

Emily nodded, "When do you think?"

"I was thinking by the end of the week"

"Okay"

"Okay" JJ replied also, "Oh and it would probably be best if I slept in the guest room tonight with Henry. He needs to know that Mason and Ethan won't always be around at night"

"That's probably a good idea" Emily choked out

"Emily it's nothing against you…It's just…You need time with Ethan…and Mason. And Henry and I are in the way for that. But this doesn't mean anything, okay."

"Okay" replied Emily

JJ reached her hand across the couch to grasp Emily's, "Are we okay?"

Emily gave JJ's hand a gentle squeeze, "We're fine"

Emily then got up and walked into the kitchen, finishing the last of her wine and then washing out her glass. She turned and walked towards the stairs before turning back to JJ.

"I'm going to get ready for bed. I'll come get Mason and Ethan as soon as I've changed" she told the blonde woman

"Em, there's no rush" JJ told her as she looked at her across the room

Emily nodded before going up the stairs and into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She then walked over to her bed and climbed onto it, the pain in her ribs making her let out a moan before she collapsed onto the bed on her side, grabbing one of the pillows and clutching it to her. She then let the tears begin to fall. She knew JJ was right about the team becoming suspicious and about how she needed to spend some time with Ethan and Mason. But she also had this bad feeling that there was more to it than that. As Emily lay there she couldn't help but think that she should ask JJ to stay, hell, maybe beg her to stay if she had to. The truth was she didn't want JJ or Henry to go, but at the same time she was too scared to ask, afraid that the answer would be no. And too proud to ask, because then she would have to confess to JJ just how much she needed her.

Emily didn't know how long she had been laying there but soon there was a knock on her bedroom door and then she heard it open slightly. She kept her back to the door, because she was afraid that it might be JJ coming to check on her. Instead she was greeted by a small voice who she recognized immediately.

"Are you okay Momma?" Ethan asked as he walked up to the bed

Emily didn't respond as she tried to wipe the tears from her face so that her son wouldn't see them. But as she did, she felt the bed move and then Ethan's face appeared in front of her as he crawled to her. He stopped when he got close enough, before leaning back on his knees. Then he leaned forward slightly and patted her shoulder with his hand. Then he leaned further down and kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you Momma" he told her sincerely as his little hand touched her cheek

Emily couldn't stop herself then, she let the tears fall as she thought about, not only JJ, but also all of the memories and the time that she had missed with her son.

"I love you too little man" she told him before she pulled him towards her

Ethan shifted his body so that his back was against Emily's front and she could cradle him. He remembered his Aunt Sara would hold him like this sometimes when he was scared and it always made him feel better. And even though his mother was obviously upset and crying, he did feel better. He felt safe.

A few minutes later Emily released the hold on Ethan and rolled away from him. He also rolled over to look at where she was going.

"Mommy?" he questioned tiredly

"It's okay baby, I'm just going to put my pj's on, okay" she told him with a half smile

He nodded before rolling back onto his side and falling asleep. Emily watched him before she turned and left the bedroom in search of Declan. She thought about knocking on JJ's bedroom door, but thought better of it. She knew she must look like she had been crying, because she had, plus her clothes were nice and wrinkled now. So she turned and walked downstairs, finding Declan sprawled out on the couch.

"Hey little man, what are you doing down here?" she asked as she walked over to the couch

Declan shrugged his shoulders, "Sleeping"

Emily stared at him before moving in front of him to sit on the coffee table. She then rested her elbows on her legs as she looked at Declan.

"Mason why are you sleeping down here instead of upstairs?"

"JJ said she and Henry were sleeping in the bedroom tonight and when I went to your room you were crying with Ethan. I didn't want to get in the way."

"Mason, look at me" Emily told him

Mason rolled onto his side so that he could look at Emily.

"You are not in the way. You could never be in the way. Do you hear me?" she said to him

He just shrugged to the best of his ability.

"Mason is there something else bothering you?" she asked

He shook his head as he continued to lay there. Emily sighed as she dropped her head into her hands trying to fight back the tears. First JJ, then Ethan, and now Declan.

Declan immediately sat up on the couch so that he was facing Emily, "Emily don't cry. I'm sorry."

Emily looked up, her tear filled eyes meeting Declan's blue ones and she could see the sadness in them.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about" she told him

"But you're sad. Is it my fault?" he asked

She shook her head as she brushed some of his stray blonde hair away from his forehead. It had really grown out this last month.

"No, it's not your fault. I'm just sad about a lot of things. And I want you to know I'm sorry."

"For what?" he questioned

"For not letting…for not telling you how much you mean to me" she told him as she looked into his eyes, "I want you to know that I care about you a lot…and truthfully I don't want to let you go…But…I…I also know what it's like to have son out there…If your mom is out there I'm sure she thinks about you every day…And I wouldn't want to deny her the right to see you…to meet you…because you are an amazing young man…I just want what's best for you…but I want you to know…I want you to know that…I do…I do love you Mason…very much" Emily took a deep breath after she finally got all of that out and both she and Declan sat there looking at each other for a moment. Then Declan lept forward, throwing his arms around Emily's neck and holding on tight. Emily reciprocated the hug, as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I love you too Emily" he whispered into her ear

Emily smiled as she continued to hold the boy close to her, savoring this moment.

"I'm so sorry Mason" she said again

"It's okay" he told her

"No it's not, but thank you" she replied

Declan slowly pulled away from Emily and he could still see the tears in her eyes. Emily knew that he was trying to figure out what was going on so she changed the subject.

"Let's go to bed, okay" she suggested as she stood up from the coffee table, giving Declan a slight tug off the couch

He nodded but asked, "Do you really mind if I sleep up there?"

She smiled as she threw her arm around his shoulders, "Kid it's actually going to be weird enough without Henry and JJ taking up room in my bed if I take you out of the mix then I'm really going to have problems"

Declan smiled back but said, "You still have Ethan"

She nodded, "True, but I have a feeling you need Ethan and I as much as we need you"

Declan smiled as he gave a half nod not wanting to relay too much as he wrapped his arm around her waist and they began to walk up the stairs.

The next morning Emily awoke to a knock on her bedroom door. As she struggled to open her eyes, trying to become somewhat coherent she tried rolling towards the bedroom door only to come in contact with a body. She noticed Ethan had his arm thrown across her and his knee was digging into her lower back. She shifted slightly as she pulled away from the six and a half year old boy, rolling to her back and looking at her son, lying sprawled on his side, his mouth hanging slightly open and she couldn't help but smile. She then looked past Ethan to where Declan was, sleeping on his stomach, his head facing Emily and Ethan, but his right arm thrown up around his pillow and his face halfway buried in the crook of his elbow. Emily continued to smile as her attention turned back to her bedroom door as another knock ensued.

Immediately after the second knock, the bedroom door was cracked open and JJ peeked her head in, smiling at the sight before her.

"Hey" JJ said as she looked at Emily, "I just wanted to make sure you were awake. We have to leave for work in a bit"

Emily nodded, "I know. I'll be down in a minute"

JJ nodded adding, "I made some coffee"

Emily let out a smile, "You are my hero"

JJ let out another smile before exiting the doorway and pulling it closed again. Emily sat up in bed and was attempting to stretch out the soreness in her body when there was another light knock, before the door opened again and a sandy colored head of hair peeked through. Emily smiled as Henry stood on his tiptoes to hold onto the door handle.

Henry smiled when he saw Emily sitting up in bed.

"Momma says yous was awake now" Henry stated as he continued to hang onto the door handle with his right hand and hold his stuffed lion in the other hand.

Emily nodded before saying, "Are you going to come give me a hug?"

Henry nodded with a big toothy smile before letting go of the door handle and running towards the bed. Then he jumped, grabbing onto the bedspread to help pull himself up. Emily watched as he struggled to climb up on the tall bed and giggled lightly as he used Declan's leg to help hoist himself the rest of the way up. Declan shook his leg and moaned something incoherently before turning his head the other direction and continued to sleep. When Henry finally made it he stumbled across the bed with his lion still in his hand before tripping and falling into Emily's arms. She caught him with a laugh before placing a kiss on his cheek and forehead, ruffling his thick hair with her free hand.

"Mornin Aunt Emmy" he said as he wrapped his little arms around her neck

"Morning little champ" she responded as she wrapped her arms around his tiny body

As she released him from her hold she asked, "You want to help me wake these two sleepy heads up?"

He nodded, "Uh huh"

"Go for it" she told him

Henry needed no more encouragement as he patted Ethan on the forehead a little harder than necessary. Ethan's eyes flew open as he looked at Henry who giggled before he climbed over Ethan roughly. Then he pounced on Declan who released and 'umph' before rolling onto his back, which tossed Henry off of him and onto the bed between him and Ethan. Emily smiled as she watched Declan sit up and contemplate what to do next. Declan looked up at Emily and she nodded at him. Declan then pounced on Henry and began to tickle the three year old who began laughing hysterically. Simultaneously Emily attacked Ethan with kisses, before moving onto tickling him. Both small boys were rolling on their backs, laughing loudly when JJ came into the bedroom to see what all of the commotion was about and she couldn't help but laugh herself at the scene before her. When they heard her laugh they all stopped what they were doing and turned to look at her.

"I come bearing gifts for the adult in the room" JJ said as she walked towards Emily with a cup of coffee

Emily smiled gratefully as she let go of Ethan and started to move towards JJ. However the boys had different plans and before she knew it, she was attacked by all three pouncing her and tickling her. JJ smiled as Emily began laughing uncontrollably, which triggered her to start snorting as well.

Emily and JJ were late to work, due to the antics from both the boys and Emily that morning. But it helped brighten Emily's mood compared to how she was feeling the night before. She only had two more days of Henry and JJ staying at her place before they moved back to JJ's apartment. She thought having JJ and Henry there all the time would make things easier for her and JJ, but Emily was beginning to think it had the opposite effect on their relationship. As they walked into the pen Emily watched JJ turn to walk down the hall to her office and Emily knew she had a lot of thinking to do. She swore to herself she wasn't going to mess this relationship up, no matter what the cost. She just needed a little time.