Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own his magical world.

Deviated World

Chapter XX

He knew it was a horrible idea, but after Dumbledore's words, Remus, swallowing his nervousness, slowly approached Tonks. He seemed to have gone too slow, since by fortunate chance he was intercepted on his way. James walked up and pulled him aside with a tight expression on his face. Remus gave him a weary smile and waited for James to speak.

"I—" started James. He looked almost bashful, an expression that looked preposterous on the head-strong James Potter. James started to try to speak again, his expression pained and the words not forming. Remus put his hand on his friend's arm, stopping him from attempting to speak a third time.

"James, you are forgiven," said Remus quietly.

James looked at Remus incredulously. "How?" he asked, finally able to form words. "How after everything I have done can you be so kind? I betrayed you. I should have believed you from the very start. Remus, I know you are a good man, but that doesn't mean you have to be a saint!"

"Some things are difficult to believe," said Remus smiling wryly now.

James turned slightly pale. "How can it be? My son is to kill—or to be killed! How can I even tell him? I am scared, Remus. He's just a boy—"

"He's a boy who is becoming a man," reminded Remus. "He will be strong and brave as he was in my world and this time he will have his father to stand behind him in face of whatever comes. Knowing that would have meant the world to the Harry I knew.

"It is isn't fair, I know, but it will come nonetheless. I know it is difficult, but fear isn't going to stop fate from catching up with us. James, we will make sure that he is ready for it. He will not fail."

James looked at Remus sadly. "Will you be there when I tell him?"

"If you want me to be, I will."

"Thank you."

"When will you do it?" asked Remus, trying to get the decision as concrete as possible.

"Harry is at the Weasley's right now, but the whole family and Hermoine are coming here for dinner on Sunday. I will tell him after they leave," said James, hardly breathing.

Remus gave his friend a sad smile. "You're doing what needs to be done and Harry will be better off for it, no matter how hard it is. He needs to know. He deserves to."

"I know," said James resignedly. "I know." At that he apparated.

Remus sighed. He was glad that James had changed his mind. Yes, he knew that this would be very difficult, but he knew that it was for the best, not only that Harry knew what he must do, but that James faced his fears, for there would be much to worry about in the coming months and years.

As he thought, Sirius and Tonks approached him. "Where did James go?" asked Sirius.

"Home, to think about things," answered Remus.

"Did he finally get it through his thick skull that you are not the enemy?"

"Yes," said Remus. "And he understands what he must do." Remus purposely avoided acknowledging Tonks' presence, but he knew that Sirius was going to find a way to make them talk.

"It is about time," said Sirius.

"Yes, it is," said Remus, not knowing what to say to get out of this conversation, perfectly knowing that he was intending on having it minutes earlier.

"Tonks is working on an interesting case right now," Sirius prodded on.

"Oh really?" Remus tried to seem interested without sending a sharp glare towards Sirius. It proved very difficult.

"Well, I suppose if investigating your boyfriend is interesting," replied Tonks.

Remus shifted his eyebrows up. Charice was still around? This was happy news he thought bitterly.

"Do you remember Charice? Well, apparently he is a shady character and I have been investigating him cautiously for the last year and a half. It is taking a long time, since I have to be as inconspicuous as possible."

"Have you found out anything?" asked Remus, quite curious, mixed with disappointment and a little bit of smugness.

"Only little bits and pieces, but enough to know that he isn't to be trusted. I believe he still thinks me ignorant and oblivious of everything that goes on around me."

"Of course he is wrong."

"Of course," said Tonks with a grin.

Remus accidently caught her eyes and was at once entranced. He shook himself out of it right away though, trying to cover for his lapse.

"Well, that is an interesting case," he said almost stumbling.

"Quite," said Tonks, giving Remus a confused expression.

Sirius coughed and interjected before a silence could go on for too long. "Tonks, would you like to come over here for dinner on Sunday? The Weasleys will be here and Hermoine."

"That sounds lovely, though I will have to make sure that Charice is alright with it. After nearly two years, he might be suspicious if I keep excluding him from dinners at my cousins."

"Alright. Owl me, won't you?"

"Okay," said Tonks, glancing at the clock on the wall. "I had better get going; I have to be to the Ministry early tomorrow."

Tonks bade goodnight to Sirius with a hug and then turned to Remus and shook his hand. "I am glad you are out of that nasty place. I knew you were trustworthy, then and now that everything is in the open."

Remus smiled softly. "Thank you. Goodnight, Miss Tonks."

Tonks apparated. Remus did not know how he felt about that exchange. Honestly, he thought it was best just not to think about it, although he doubted that his mind would allow him such a luxury. Remus then looked over and saw that Sirius was staring at him expectantly with his arms folded.

"What?" asked Remus dully.

"Don't act as if I didn't notice!" said Sirius in an affronted manner.

"Notice what?" asked Remus.

"That was just about the most awkward moment I have ever witnessed. You can't deny it, Moony. And there is only one reason why it was awkward, you realize that don't you?"

"No, I don't realize it, but I am well aware that you are going to enlighten me on the matter," sighed Remus.

"Remus, of anything you think you are, you are not that thick. You are just going to end up hurting yourself if you keep denying all the feelings you have. You know Tonks cares for you and will grow to love you. Why can't you allow yourself to be happy?"

"I don't—"

"Yes, yes, I know, 'you don't deserve happiness.' I never thought I'd ever say this, but, Remus, I pity you. And I mean you, not the Remus that once existed in this world. I pity the woe-is-me Remus, who can't see himself for who he really is. The one who is so down on himself for things of the past and future, but can't look beyond his own nose to see what is happening now. The Remus Lupin I have known was always modest, but never was he so modest as to allow it to destroy himself. You have felt more pain than most, I know that, but you need to stop shrinking in fear from yourself!" Sirius was nearly shouting by this point. Remus looked at him fiercely in the eyes, but Sirius did not back down.

Finally Remus spoke. "You have been planning this speech for a while haven't you?"

Sirius gave Remus a hard look and then started laughing. "It seems that we still know each other too well."

"It would appear so."

"Did I get through at all?"

Remus sobered and thought for a minute. Was Sirius right? Probably. He was only going to frustrate people if he kept his 'woe-is-me' attitude. Was he going to allow himself to live freely? No, he could not go so far with so many things at stake. He could lighten up a bit though, and he could realize that he had been given another chance, that he did not have to live as though his past controlled everything.

"Yes," said Remus. "You got through a little. I am not going to make any promises though, but I will try to lighten up on myself."

"Good, that is a start," said Sirius. Then bidding Remus a goodnight, he left the room with a smug smile.

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A/N: Lots of distractions, work, start-overs and computer problems later, I update. In my long absence from writing this story, I have lost track of where I was going, so I apologize for this and the long delay. I will try not to let so much time--what was it, about six months?--pass before the next chapter.

As always, thank you to everyone for reading and everyone for reviewing!

Also, for the remainder of this story, I will continue in my fashion and ignore all discrepancies brought about by the release of the seventh book.