Chapter 21
"Something is troubling you," Lorelei said to Castiel over the firelight as the angel watched his human companion sleep. Zion was by Dean's side once again and Barakiel was off somewhere "seeking salvation" as he called it. "I can tell."
"I am fine," Castiel kept his eyes on Dean. "I assure you."
"Is that what you've been telling him," Lorelei asked, trying so hard to pry answers out of Castiel. "Is that why he's sleeping so soundly? I can guarantee you he wouldn't be otherwise."
"Why are you making this your concern?" Castiel asked. He was tired and slightly annoyed with the medicine woman.
"I like to know who I'm sharing my cave with." Lorelei worked the fire so that it made the shape of a cheetah running in place.
"Understandable," Castiel sighed. "If you must know, no he doesn't know what is troubling me and I don't want him to find out because then he'll find a way to stop it."
"You do not wish for it to be stopped?" Lorelei asked. "Because no offense sugar, but you look worse for wear."
"It would reverse what I've done to help him," Castiel explained. "It's my burden to bear and I was well aware of the consequences when I did it. I can handle the shockwaves of the repercussions no matter what is thrown at me. It's him I'm worried about right now."
"An angel giving everything he has for a human," Lorelei smiled. "I do believe this is the first time I've seen this."
"Dean is my friend."
"Are you sure that's all Dean is?"
Castiel hesitated.
"No, I'm not..."
"You care about him," She said. "A lot more than friends normally do."
"We've been through much together." Castiel replied.
"Much more still to come." Lorelei changed the fire again, this time to a majestic stag.
"You assume we're going to make it out of here alive?" Castiel said.
"I don't assume child," Lorelei gave him a look. "I know. I know that you two will make it and I know that you two will survive this awful place God knows I have for long enough, and I know that there is something deeper to this than just friends helping friends."
"Dean is my friend," Castiel repeated, though the words burned him deep inside. "He is all I've had since I came to earth. He's all I've wanted and he's all I hope to be with for a long time from now after we get out of here and fix what we've broken. He's everything to me."
"Then don't tell me, tell him."
"He wouldn't understand."
"How do you know that?"
"Because it's Dean and it's not worth the fall."
"But what if maybe by some miracle it is?"
Castiel stared at her and her him. Her eyes held so much encouragement, but Castiel looked right past that. He didn't need more pain in his heart than the pain that was there already.
"Dean is worth far too much for that."
That was what settled the debate and not another word was spoken until the wee hours of the daytime in Hell when Dean first begun to stir awake, Barakiel returned from his praying, Zion stood and stretched, and Castiel felt as though his body was being split into one million jagged pieces as he met the Righteous man's eyes.
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Sam devoured the pancakes he'd picked out from the complementary breakfast lineup in the motel's lobby. He cut them into smaller pieces with his plastic utensils and ate the syrup covered morsels as if they were his last meal. He hadn't eaten much that week.
"Good to see your moose-like appetite has returned." Gabriel commented from across the table. The archangel had polished off a plate of éclairs and was feeling rather content that he'd satisfied his sweet tooth at that point.
"It never left." Sam said with a full mouth. Gabriel chuckled in response.
"I beg to differ," Gabriel replied shifting so that he was facing Sam and his elbow was off of the table. "I've noticed your consumption has greatly diminished more than your output. Tsk Sammy boy you of all people know that's not healthy."
"Sue me."
Sam took another heaping bite.
"Sure thing law boy."
"You know when it comes to the friend department you're sure lacking a few qualities." Sam replied.
"Like what exactly?" Gabriel asked.
"Compassion for one."
"I just gave you a room with all of your favorite moose things in it," Gabriel explained. "And you dare insult me! I'm done goodbye!"
The archangel huffed and pretended to be hurt and Sam laughed. Gabriel smiled at the man's laughter. It was nice to see him happy again even if only for a moment. Sam had to admit that it was nice having a friend again even if it was the infamous Gabriel the ultimate asshole of Heaven. Once Sam looked past the dickish demeanor of the archangel and the past he'd had with the guy he saw his true colors. He, in turn, was glad to have him there.
"I think I've almost got a solution to getting Dean and Cas back." Sam spoke up.
"Answer me honestly do you shower with those lore books too because you're always at it?" Gabriel asked.
"I'm serious Gabe," Sam absentmindedly said the nickname. "I'm closer than ever before this time."
"I thought you didn't want Dean back."
"I wasn't in my right mind when I said that."
"Sure yah weren't Sammy." The nicknames were returned.
"I'm serious." Sam gave the archangel bitch face number five thousand.
"There's your problem right there." Gabriel smirked.
"Sure I'm mad at Dean and I mean really mad," Sam replied. "But I have to try don't I?"
"Don't ask me kiddo," Gabriel said. "It's like a twenty one gun salute. You can either be the one firing the guns or the one they're firing the guns for. You can bring him back and be happy again or you can lay down your arms. The choice is yours."
"There's that compassion I was talking about."
"Asshole I was trying to be serious. Finish your damn pancakes."
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The travelers left in the early morning from Lorelei's cave after bidding goodbye to her for awhile first. She gave Castiel a bag full of spices and herbs and told him if they ever found themselves in Hell again to look her up. Castiel nodded and gave her a smile before joining Barakiel to discuss where they were headed. Dean stood with Lorelei.
"Thanks for everything really," Dean smiled at her. "For fixing my leg too. Even if it's only for a bit."
"You're very welcome Dean." Lorelei bowed her head and smiled.
Castiel and Barakiel begun to walk. Zion barked at Dean to follow.
"Well it looks like that's my cue," Dean sighed. "I'll see you around."
"Hopefully not," Lorelei chuckled, but then grabbed Dean's arm. "Dean, a word?"
"Yeah?" Dean asked confused as to why she'd stopped him.
"Cherish that man," Lorelei motioned to Castiel who was deep in conversation with Barakiel, a small but pained smile on the angel's face. "Cherish him for one day he will be gone."
Dean wanted to tell Lorelei that Castiel was an angel and thus he never died, but instead he smiled and nodded acknowledging he understood. Afterwards he bid Lorelei goodbye for the final time and followed Castiel and their companions and guides towards the unknown.
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"This doesn't look familiar at all." Barakiel commented.
"Great," Dean stuck close to Castiel in case he needed support if his leg crapped out on him. "You're saying we're lost?"
"No I'm not," Barakiel defended. "I'm just saying I don't think we should've come this way."
"Will something come out and eat us?" Dean asked with a bit more concern and annoyance in his voice.
"Nobody likes a worry wart," Barakiel replied, looking around them. The fur on Zion's back stood up on end a little. Dean could tell the angel was using humor as a shield against what he was really thinking. "Have a little faith that I didn't get you into some horrific situation."
"I'll believe that when I'm out of here alive and watching Dr. Sexy reruns on the couch." Dean said in response and rolled his eyes. He too suddenly felt uneasy.
Suddenly the aura and the air changed. Both felt very cold and Dean actually shivered. He felt the cold air seep into his very bones and around him there were shapes. They were the shapes of humans. They were dead humans, their souls to be exact. They walked to the right of Dean and his companions and they all stared ahead as though they were seeking something. They walked fluidly, but not zombie-like slow by any means. They were spirits after all. Dean felt the strong urge to run a bullet through them and see if they'd disappear like regular ghosts, but now was not the time for that. The ghosts themselves made this sort of echo that was similar to a ringing in one's ears and it was dim not loud at all. Dean stared in disbelief at the sheer number of them that had appeared in mere seconds.
"I told you," Barakiel's tone had turned somber and he spoke in more of a hushed whisper. "These are the Silent Ones, but take no heed to their name for their minds scream louder than they ever could."
"What are they?" Dean asked although half of him already knew.
"The souls of the damned," Barakiel explained, side stepping away from one who passed in between them leaving a cold mist in his wake. "They wander through here until they reach wherever it is they go then start again. Most of them will pass by you with no harm, but some won't. Lest you share a similar suffering as they do they'll pass right through you transferring their memories to your mind. It can be extremely painful."
"Great," Dean scoffed. "I didn't come this far to be mind violated."
"Just keep moving," Barakiel ordered. "And hope to God that one of them doesn't like you."
Dean nodded, watching as the angel pushed his way through the hordes of souls and continued west in the direction of their destination. Dean waited a moment meeting the eyes of an elderly woman spirit and then she looked away and continued her march. Dean shivered again and followed Barakiel. Castiel followed close by Dean to his right a bit. The angel looked tired as the place they were and Dean couldn't help but keep eyes on him. Castiel wasn't himself that was all there was to it. Dean didn't know what had happened to the angel, much less why he'd had a dream regarding him being choked by what Dean assumed to be some sort of demon. All Dean knew was that Castiel was silently suffering and he was powerless to help his friend until Castiel clued him in. Dean knew he wouldn't though, Castiel had too much pride.
Castiel dragged his feet as he passed by all of the Silent Ones. They all seemed to have their eyes on him and he felt like he was in a test tube being studied. It was as if they were subconsciously saying:
You'll be one of us soon enough.
Castiel forced his feet to continue on until he met a face he'd only heard about.
There was an angel headed straight for him. His eyes were practically slits like he was glaring and he looked old and worn ragged as though he'd seen a lot and fought a lot of battles. Castiel knew he had. There was only one angel before Barakiel that had been banished here and here he was coming towards Castiel.
The angel's name was Raziel.
"Raziel," Castiel said breathlessly, catching Dean's attention too and Dean watched as the Silent One engulfed Castiel in his mist and Castiel let out a blood curdling scream. The angel saw nothing but white at first, but then the images came forth and flashed in his mind.
A girl, young, probably about twenty one and she had blonde hair and blue eyes like his vessel.
The angel Raziel was fighting a horde of demons that were attacking her.
The last demon left, but not before slitting the throat of the woman, Raziel called out in grief and ran over to her. He inspected her pulse and for the first time since he'd been around humans Castiel saw an angel shed human tears.
Raziel carried the girl to an empty home and laid her down on the bed. He cried until his tears could no longer fall and then stood. He faced the door of the home and walked out of it before coming to a crossroads. Raziel dug until his vessel's fingernails were bloody and raw and he waited. A demon, the demon, the one in the top hat came. He smirked like he had when Castiel had gone to him. He stuck out his hand and Raziel grimaced and shook it. The demon cackled and a blinding light was seen and Raziel stumbled. The demon held a vial in his hand with a blue-white substance in it and he pocketed it.
Raziel ran to her. He ran up to her room and she was awake. She looked confused, but relieved at the same time. Her face lit up when she saw he was above her, supporting the back of her neck and looking down at her. The only thing he did after that was kiss her.
The vision changed to what looked like years later and Castiel saw the woman and Raziel in the same house once again. The woman was crying her eyes out. Raziel stood before her. She looked exasperated and she held onto Raziel's wrist like it was her last anchor. She practically wept and Raziel only said a few simple words in response.
"Who are you?"
Castiel felt Raziel leave his body and the angel collapsed, bracing his impact with his hands and his knees took most of the impact. The Silent One took a look back at Castiel and he could feel Raziel's eyes on the back of his neck as the Silent One lumbered on and away from him. He hung his head and breathed in raggedly. Not only had the memory sharing been painful as ever, but the reminder of what Castiel had done stung worse. He looked up to see Dean at his side.
"Damn it Cas," Dean sighed, but ultimately he was relieved the angel was alright. "Are you good?"
"Yes Dean," Castiel nodded, relieved to see the hunter wasn't lacking the ability to run need be. "I am fine I assure you."
"You say that one more time and I'm going to kick your ass," Dean warned. Castiel missed it when Dean showed nothing but utter concern for him like he was doing now. "Now c'mon Barakiel's waiting for us past this mass of souls."
Dean helped Castiel up and the angel brushed the dirt off of his dress pants. Dean gave him a small smile and continued forward. Castiel turned around to meet the backside of the angel Raziel as he finally turned away and disappeared from Castiel's view. The angel's stomach dropped to his feet as he followed Dean away from the Silent Ones to where Barakiel and Zion stood waiting.
Reviews are appreciated!
I gave you a hint as to what Castiel did. I hope you caught on? The thing is will Dean?