Author's Note: The first scene occurs before Bend & Snap. The second scene happens right after Bend & Snap then leads into the moments before There! Right There! It seems like the more I explain, the more confusing I make things so... I'll just let you read and (hopefully) enjoy.
"Emmett-esque"
INT. THE HAIR AFFAIR - DAY
It's early and PAULETTE is alone, cleaning her station. She
hums to herself: Ireland.
EMMETT appears at the door wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He
tries to open the door, but it's locked. He knocks. Paulette
looks up and sees him. She goes to the door and unlocks it
to let Emmett in.
PAULETTE
(cold)
Hello.
She turns back to her station. Emmett walks over to her.
EMMETT
I wanted to apologize.
Paulette tilts her head and smiles.
EMMETT
For being rude to you and my mom.
PAULETTE
In regard to...
EMMETT
(patient)
In regard to Elle.
PAULETTE
Yeah, well, I suppose we came on
just a teensy bit strong.
Emmett smiles.
EMMETT
And I was defensive.
PAULETTE
Yeah, no kiddin'. It's like you
mention that girl's name and--
Paulette cuts herself off, pressing her lips together.
PAULETTE
You were sayin'?
EMMETT
I was saying I'm sorry.
PAULETTE
Forget it.
A beat.
PAULETTE
Say, is that how you always wear
your hair?
She reaches up and fluffs his unkempt 'do. He leans away.
EMMETT
Yes?
PAULETTE
Do you use any product?
EMMETT
Product?
PAULETTE
Yeah, ya know... gel...
mousse... pomade?
Emmett looks at her as if she is speaking another language.
EMMETT
Does shampoo count?
Paulette laughs until she realizes he's serious.
PAULETTE
Okay, Paulette can help.
Paulette takes a closer look at his hair.
PAULETTE
Paulette needs to help.
Paulette gets right next to Emmett's head.
PAULETTE
In fact, if Paulette doesn't help,
some unwanted squirrels may be
findin' a new home up here.
Emmett rolls his eyes.
PAULETTE
If they haven't already. Now, sit.
She pushes him down into her chair. Emmett looks skeptical,
but doesn't stop her from applying some styling mousse to
his hair. She runs her fingers back through his locks.
PAULETTE
You are gonna look so handsome!
Emmett scoffs.
PAULETTE
Elle is going to--
A hard stare from Emmett silences Paulette, but he quickly
eases up on the look, giving her an apologetic smile.
PAULETTE
Be here soon. For a manicure.
EMMETT
Oh.
PAULETTE
And maybe a little girl talk.
EMMETT
Oh...
Paulette picks up a comb and slicks Emmett's hair back. She
makes several adjustments as they chat.
PAULETTE
She had to pick up her new navy
suit from the tailor's first,
though. Good thing your trial
doesn't start until noon.
EMMETT
Oh, no, the trial actually started
at nine... two days ago. Being shut
out until noon today is just part
of our punishment for pissing off
our boss.
PAULETTE
From what you and Elle have told
me, this Callahan character sounds
like a real ass.
EMMETT
(sarcastic)
It's part of his charm.
PAULETTE
Well, anyway, I personally find
navy a little borin'. Especially on Elle.
Emmett shrugs.
EMMETT
Elle could make tangerine look good
so I don't think dark blue is going
to be much of a problem.
PAULETTE
I bet Elle wouldn't mind hearin' a
compliment like that... especially
on a day like today, ya know?
EMMETT
I think, on a day like today, Elle
would much rather hear about
how good her law skills are.
PAULETTE
Maybe she'd like to know you
think she's got brains and beauty.
Who doesn't want to be the
complete package, huh?
Emmett looks off to consider her words. Paulette smiles to
herself and finishes up with Emmett's hair.
PAULETTE
There. All done.
Emmett leans in toward the mirror. He doesn't exactly hate it.
He stands and turns to Paulette.
EMMETT
Thank you, Paulette.
PAULETTE
Sure. No problem.
Emmett takes a few steps toward the door.
EMMETT
I've got to go get ready for court,
but will you tell Elle that I'll
meet her down here? She's supposed
to give me a ride and--
Paulette suppresses a laugh.
EMMETT
A ride to the court... oh, never
mind. I'll see ya.
PAULETTE
Ta, ta.
Paulette waves as Emmett exits. The lights go down.
Insert BEND & SNAP musical number here :)
INT. EMMETT'S APARTMENT - DAY
A persistent knocking sounds through the apartment.
EMMETT (O.S.)
How many times? How many times do I
have to tell you to make sure your
keys are in your purse before you
leave the apartment?
Emmett, with his hair still styled, rushes out of the
bedroom, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts. He marches
over to the door and throws it open to reveal Elle, wearing
her Bend & Snap outfit and holding a garment bag. They share
a moment of mutual shock.
EMMETT
Elle? What... ?
Elle glances down, accidentally on purpose checking Emmett
out and causing Emmett to self-consciously fold his arms.
Elle looks up to meet his gaze, her cheeks red.
EMMETT
I thought we were meeting
downstairs.
ELLE
Right. Paulette told me that, but I
needed a place to get...
She glances down at Emmett's mostly bare body once again.
ELLE
Nake--
Elle cuts herself off.
ELLE
Undressed.
She looks up, shaking her head.
ELLE
Dressed.
She takes a deep breath and tries again.
ELLE
I needed a place to change into my
suit, but Paulette only has the
supply closet so I thought... but,
actually, I'm sure the supply
closet is quite roomy... oh, except
that I think Paulette had to go to
the hospital with the UPS guy.
EMMETT
What?
ELLE
Long story. Anyway, I'll just go
find somewhere else to--
EMMETT
No. No, don't be ridiculous. Come
in. Please. I insist.
Emmett steps aside and gestures for Elle to enter the
apartment. She gulps then walks past him. Emmett closes the
door, leaning against it for a moment, composing himself,
before he follows her into the living room.
EMMETT
I was just getting dressed myself
so I guess we can get dressed
together--
He closes his mouth.
EMMETT
Simultaneously--
He blinks hard a few times.
EMMETT
In separate rooms.
He points to his mother's room. Elle smiles apologetically.
ELLE
I am so sorry to barge in on you
like this. Really.
EMMETT
You know, it's perfectly fine. I've
been wanting to share my Marky Mark
imitation with someone anyway.
ELLE
Oh, are those Calvin Klein?
She bends down, in Bend and Snap fashion, but with her head
up to get a closer look at the shorts. Emmett stares down at
her, the bend effectively catching his attention.
EMMETT
(distracted)
... Joe... Boxer...
ELLE
Oh.
As Elle rises, the upward motion is less snap, more stumble.
So much stumble, in fact, that she staggers forward,
catching herself against Emmett's shirtless chest. Emmett
grabs her elbow and helps her get her footing.
They stare at each other for a long beat then simultaneously
turn away and walk into the bedrooms. Behind closed doors,
their conversation flows a little easier:
ELLE (O.S.)
So, you're totally wearing your new
suit, right?
EMMETT (O.S.)
Putting it on as we speak.
ELLE (O.S.)
I bought mine specifically for the
first day of court. If navy is my
new pink then this suit is
definitely the new me.
EMMETT (O.S.)
Nothing wrong with the old you.
ELLE (O.S)
I thought you said it was a good
idea to make---
EMMETT (O.S.)
Elle. You could go to court in a
trash bag and no one would notice,
least of all me. You're far too
beautiful for your clothes to
matter one way or the other.
Elle opens her door and steps out, looking fantastic in her
blue suit and white blouse.
ELLE
What did you say?
EMMETT (O.S.)
I said...
Emmett steps out, looking like a total hottie in his suit
with his hair combed back. He tries for smooth as he
delivers this compliment:
EMMETT
You always look beautiful.
He looks more carefully at her complete look.
EMMETT
Case in point.
He gestures toward her.
EMMETT
And you've got the goods--
the knowledge, the skills,
the drive--to back it up.
Elle smiles, fidgeting with her jacket and totally
flattered... then something else, something more.
ELLE
I guess that means there are
two smart, attractive people
standing in this apartment.
Emmett shakes his head, but he can't help a smile.
ELLE
I'm serious. You've never
looked more handsome.
Elle glances up at his hair.
ELLE
Maybe it's your hair... which
I am just now noticing. Wow.
Emmett shrugs.
EMMETT
Paulette did it earlier. It was
like this when you got here.
ELLE
Oh. Hm. I didn't notice. Guess I was
slightly distracted...
She smirks, teasing him. He rolls his eyes.
EMMETT
I thought you were my mother!
ELLE
That might makes it worse.
They laugh.
ELLE
But anyway, I like it. The 'do.
It's very...
EMMETT
Warner-esque?
Elle narrows her eyes, almost angry, but she drops the look
for a more gentle one.
ELLE
Lawyer-esque.
Emmett nods, smiling gratefully.
EMMETT
I guess that's a good thing. If I
had a Warner suit and a Warner
hairstyle... how would Elle Woods
ever be able to resist me?
ELLE
I guess that would all depend on if
you also had a Warner personality.
EMMETT
I'm going to guess the odds of that
happening are slim to none.
ELLE
Then, likewise, my ability to resist.
Emmett looks at her for a long beat, thinking about that
one. Elle smiles self-consciously as Emmett searches her
face with a look wrought with analysis. He snaps out of it.
EMMETT
We should go... to the trial.
ELLE
The what?
Emmett cocks an eyebrow as Elle pulls herself together.
ELLE
Right, the trial. Brooke's murder
trial. We should definitely go to
the trial. Oh! But before we do, I
have something for you! Don't move.
Emmett doesn't move as Elle hurries out into the hallway and
returns with a brown leather briefcase with a red bow tied
around it. Emmett looks at it suspiciously.
EMMETT
What's this?
ELLE
This... is a briefcase. I got it as
a congratulations gift for making
co-counsel, but I was waiting for
the right time to give it to you.
EMMETT
You gotta stop buying me stuff.
Elle looks guilty. Emmett's eyes drift to the briefcase.
EMMETT
But this is really nice.
Elle grins.
ELLE
I picked it because it's so...
Emmett turns away and grabs his old courier bag from his
desk. He pulls out a stack of files and papers then turns
back to Elle and his new briefcase.
EMMETT
Lawyer-esque?
ELLE
Emmett-esque.
She opens up the briefcase so he can put his stuff inside.
ELLE
It's a little old-fashioned, but
also totally and completely...
charming.
Their eyes meet... then they both look away.
EMMETT
We should probably get going.
ELLE
Probably.
Elle hands off the briefcase to Emmett.
EMMETT
Shall we?
Elle nods. They walk across the stage, leaving Emmett's
apartment behind and making their way over to a court house
hallway set. Their steps echo in the silence that hangs in the
air between them.
ELLE
You were awfully quiet on the way
over. Actually, you were silent.
EMMETT
I was just... thinking... silently.
Silently thinking.
ELLE
About the trial?
EMMETT
The what?
Elle chuckles and turns to him.
ELLE
Are you okay?
EMMETT
Yeah. No. Kind of. I just... Okay,
Elle... there's something I need to
tell you. Part of me knows it's
completely inappropriate and I know
the timing couldn't be worse--
ELLE
Then tell me later.
EMMETT
Huh?
ELLE
If the timing's bad. Tell me later.
EMMETT
Later?
Elle nods.
ELLE
Yes. Later. We can talk about
whatever it is later, can't we?
Emmett swallows and takes another breath. He sets his
briefcase down on the floor near his feet.
EMMETT
Oh, yeah, I think we're going to
have to... after I do this.
ELLE
After you do what?
Emmett closes his eyes to deliver the news.
EMMETT
After I... kiss you?
Emmett keeps his eyes closed. Elle raises her eyebrows, an
enchanted smile spreading across her face. When Emmett opens
his eyes, Elle tries to switch into a more serious
countenance. Emmett doesn't look at her as he babbles:
EMMETT
But saying that defeats the whole
purpose. If I was going to do it, I
should have just done it, right?
But what if you didn't want me to?
I mean, who the hell am I kidding?
I'm sure you don't want me to--
ELLE
For someone who's supposed to be
talking later, you're doing an
awfully lot of talking right now.
Elle takes a step toward him, putting herself close.
EMMETT
I know. I'm sorr--
ELLE
Emmett, shut up.
Emmett stops talking and looks up at her, realizing just how
close she is to him. Elle smiles and leans toward him. Before
he has the chance to say another word, she's kissing him.
Emmett's surprise dissolves quickly and he answers her kiss
with an even more intense kiss of his own. He slides his
hands up her arms to her shoulders then her neck.
Elle grabs his lapels and tugs his whole body into hers as
they continue to kiss with no plans of letting up.
MICK, the bailiff version, comes strolling down the hallway.
He twirls his keys in his hands, but stops when he spots the
make out session ahead of him.
It's too late, though. Elle and Emmett have already heard
his approach. They break apart, taking several steps back
from one another. Elle, blushing, straightens her suit and
smooths her hair.
MICK
Uh, hey guys.
Emmett, cheeks equally red, forces himself to make eye
contact with his old friend.
EMMETT
We were just--
MICK
Starting the cross exam'.
Mick gives him a quick wink.
MICK
Good luck with that. I hear
Argitakos is a tough nut to bust.
Mick chuckles to himself as he continues down the hall on
his patrol. When he is gone, Elle and Emmett turn to one
another. Emmett is in shock. Elle is enamoured.
ELLE
That was... unexpected.
Emmett nods, his face blank.
ELLE
Unexpectedly good.
He nods again.
ELLE
Emmett?
He looks up at her, inhaling deeply.
ELLE
What's wrong?
EMMETT
I'm having a little trouble here...
He exhales.
EMMETT
Remembering how to breathe.
Elle laughs softly, biting her lip. Emmett leans back against
the wall, loosening his tie.
EMMETT
Wow.
ELLE
I know. I concur, but, Emmett?
She steps up to him, re-tightening his tie.
ELLE
It's almost noon.
EMMETT
Right. Of course. The trial.
Emmett straightens up, pulling himself together.
Elle reaches out and wipes her lipstick from Emmett's lips.
EMMETT
Thanks.
Elle grins. A beat.
ELLE
I'm gonna go... freshen up.
She points to her own lipstick-smudged lips. Emmett nods.
ELLE
Probably better if we don't go in
together anyway.
EMMETT
(teasing)
And if they ask where you are,
should I just say "Elle Who?"
Elle picks up Emmett's briefcase from the floor.
ELLE
Oh, no, don't do that because when
their jaws drop to the floor over
how "Emmett-esque" is the new
"hot," I want full credit.
She hands him the briefcase and admires the total package.
ELLE
Go on. I'll be right behind you.
He nods, lingering.
EMMETT
We'll talk?
ELLE
We'll talk. Later... as planned.
EMMETT
Later.
Emmett grins then turns toward the courtroom door. He takes
a deep breath and puts on a serious face as he enters.
When he's gone, Elle's composure dissolves. She spins around
and leans against the wall of the hallway, fanning herself.
She closes her eyes, her smile nothing short of elated.
ELLE
Wow...
Fade to black.
Author's Note 2: So... too much too soon? My rationale is that, after watching the MTV broadcast a billion times, Elle is pretty much smitten with Emmett after Take It Like a Man. Watching their interactions and, particularly, the way she watches him leave rooms, makes me feel like the timing of this kiss is perfectly plausible within the context of the show. I made it a bit open-ended like this because I also thought that was clearly necessary for plot continuity. Basically, this is the pseudo-boy-gets-girl moment before the inevitable boy-loses-girl that comes after Callahan hits on Elle. I'm talking to much. You talk. Let me know what you thought :)