Between You & Me
Disclaimer: I do not own HSM.
Chapter Twenty
Somewhere, hidden amongst the volumes in their massive library, was a worn book of fairytales written and recorded by the Brothers Grimm. It had been discovered one rainy afternoon when desperation to be freed of boredom had driven her to the one room she rarely visited. Gabriella, from whom she borrowed books frequently without having to find them herself, was off at a study session with Chad and Taylor while Ryan had gone with their father to inspect the plans for a new set of golf holes at the country club. Maria had been somewhere in the house, murmuring quietly on the phone in one of the offices and no one seemed to be available. So, Sharpay had wandered the house like Belle in Beauty & the Beast, trying to find something to occupy her time.
She had no idea how it caught her attention, with its red worn cover and black ink sketched cover art, it seemed unremarkable while wedged between an ancient encyclopaedia that lacked a section on World War II and a dog eared copy of the first Nancy Drew novel that one of the maids had brought to Gabriella once. Perhaps it was the fact that she had never noticed the book before or the fact that it still retained some of the gold gilt stamped title along the base that flickered as the lightening thundered outside, but Sharpay had dragged over a stool and pried the storybook from its shelf before curling up and reading it for hours.
The myths and legends and fables contained within its pages were unlike anything Sharpay had ever read. There was glamour and glitz; and diamonds and pearls; and princes and princesses. There were once upon a times and happily ever afters, but the routes were twisted and dark. Sinister, black undertones ran beneath the words and she shivered more than once at the glaring lessons the brothers pulled from the depths of culture and tradition to display to an innocent reader centuries later. Sharpay had never been told of what ran beneath the surface of fairytales; never learned their purpose in society and tradition.
Hansel and Gretel were not just naughty children tempted by candy and gingerbread. They were captured and locked up by a crazy old lady in the woods who enjoyed toying with and eating small children. They kill her by dumping her in a pot and letting her boil. Little Red Riding Hood, the innocent beauty sent to care for grandma with crappy, smelly heathen medicines and alcohol gets tempted by a talking wolf who seems awfully taken with the little girl wearing the daring color red. There are many versions, but they all involve the wolf stalking the child and then a hunter killing him before or after Little Red gets ravaged or eaten. At one point, although Sharpay was horrified to read the words, Little Red was said to help the grandma and the hunter fill the wolf with stones and drop him down a well. In The Little Mermaid, on more than one account that was obviously ignored by Disney, Ariel dies at the hand of her lover or the seawitch or her own hand. No happily ever after for her.
Each word, each line, each plot should have been a bullet to her fantasy future where the prince would sweep her off her feet. When she found herself falling or crushing after a boy, she would be reminded of her mother and the Brothers Grimm fairytale endings and she would run instead of sticking around for the ugly ending. Troy had been different. He was supposed to have been different. He was supposed to be Repunzel's saviour, blind but still searching for her. He was supposed to be the one to discover the secret of the Twelve Dancing Princesses and win her hand, risking his head in the process. He was supposed to be noble and victorious and fight for the girl of his dreams.
And maybe he was all of those things, but not with her. The hard part lay in deciding what part she played in the fairytale she had constructed. If she wasn't the princess, then who was she?
Ryan lifted his backpack from his shoulder and let it drop from his hand to the polished floor of the entryway. The sound of books colliding with the tile echoed in the empty space as he kicked off his shoes and continued down the hall towards the kitchen at the back of the house, sorting through the pile of envelopes in his hands. The housekeeper had collected the mail that morning and left it on the small table just inside the front door. Standing beside the kitchen counter next to the small dish for spare keys and a notepad that had 'Bringing home dinner, Mom' scrawled across it, Ryan read the addresses and addressees with curiosity and then tossed them aside.
American Express for his parents, investment information for his dad, fliers, a note saying the newspaper subscription would be expiring soon. A letter from Vogue for Gabriella, a letter from California State University which seemed odd to Ryan but he shrugged it off. Universities were always after Gabriella. He set aside another envelope for his mother and then felt a smile bloom across his face at two of the remaining pieces of mail.
"Hey, Pay! You home yet?" he called upstairs via the staircase leading off the adjacent family room. "We've got mail!"
The pounding on the steps alerted him that she had heard and he all but threw the envelope at her when she rounded the corner. After everything that had happened in the last two days Ryan couldn't help but grin at the look of genuine excitement that came over Sharpay's face as she scanned the emblem. Her fingertips slid over the seal with reverence, and her teeth caught her bottom lip. Ryan wanted to urge her to rip it open but he knew what stopped her. She had received a folder and application information from Juilliard at the beginning of the school year with the option to audition. She hadn't heard from them since. Ryan had sent them in tapes from the summer show at the country club and had received his information packet a couple of weeks ago.
"What if—," Sharpay looked over at Ryan and noticed his own letter. "You said we got mail. Did you open yours? What is it?"
"It's the same as yours. Or at least, it's from Juilliard." Ryan's voice was calm. "Ready? We'll do it together just like old times."
Sharpay nodded and in sync, the two siblings ripped open the seal and quickly unfolded the packet of letters. Ryan scanned his and seeing that it was an offer of interest, an invitation to visit the campus and meet with administration, he hurried back to the beginning and began reading every word. Beside him, Sharpay squealed and jumped up and down in place, reading sections out loud.
"We greatly appreciated your pre-audition submission tapes and would like to discuss a personal visit to our campus in the new year..." Sharpay smiled at Ryan. "They want to see more, Ry! They want to see me! What does yours say? Tell me it's the same. Tell me!"
"Calm down, Pay, geez," Ryan joked, happy that she was momentarily excited over something. "Yes, it's the same." He tossed his letter in the air and picked her up to spin her around. "We could be going to Juilliard!"
"Listen!" She exclaimed, reading more from her letter. "We are very excited to welcome you and your fellow students from East High to an information session that will be conducted at East High in January. We will be in contact with you before then." Ryan saw Sharpay's brows pull together. "Does that mean they are looking at other students? Who else would there be?"
"Maybe Kelsi?" Ryan suggested, shrugging.
"Was there anything else for me?" Sharpay asked, not able to erase her smile. Despite all of her talk about not wanting to go far away from her siblings or Troy, Sharpay had wanted Juilliard. Factors may have caused her to choose to go elsewhere, but getting in had meant more than going. Now that it was seemingly more and more a possibility, Juilliard was like a glowing beacon for achievement. Shuffling through the pile Ryan had created on the table, Sharpay frowned and Ryan moved closer as she pulled a slender envelope that had been tucked into the fliers for the local grocery store. After opening and closing her mouth, Ryan took the envelope from her. "What the fuck is that?" Sharpay demanded, backing away from the object in Ryan's hand.
"It's a letter, Pay," Ryan responded quietly, reading the address. It was for Gabriella and it from Juilliard. Ryan felt his belly tighten and dread sink in. All the sparkle was washed from Sharpay's face.
"Why is Juilliard writing to Gabriella? She's not interested in Juilliard. She hasn't performed in almost a year outside of some of the classes we did for fun and the talent show." Her breath came in sharp gasps. "She wouldn't have applied."
"Maybe Ms Darbus recommended her," Ryan said in a low voice. Looking up he saw the question in Sharpay's eyes. "We can't open it Sharpay; you know that." Sharpay seemed resolved to waiting but then surprised Ryan by reaching out and grabbing the letter. "Pay! What are you doing?"
"Fuck what I can and can't do. She can break my heart? I can open a stupid letter." With that, she slid her thumb under the flap and pulled up, tearing the heavy paper as she went. The single page of stationary was lifted out and the shredded envelope fluttered to the ground. Ryan stood gaping as Sharpay's eyes scanned the letter and filled with tears. "Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her," she screamed, reading out the beginning of the letter before throwing it at Ryan. "'We regret to inform you that the time limit on our offer has lapsed and we are no longer able to accept any submissions for entrance auditions. I am sorry if our recruiter made assumptions about your interest this past summer. I hope you know that he appreciated your talent at the Oregon festival recital. All the best.' All the best?"
"Sharpay, breathe. It doesn't matter. She didn't want to go. That's why she didn't say anything. You have an offer to audition and so do I. What does it matter?" Ryan insisted, feeling his own trust in Gabriella fracturing. He could understand her not confiding in Sharpay, but he considered himself less volatile.
"It matters because we're sisters! She's supposed to tell me things. She should have told me!" Sharpay screamed.
"Why?" came a voice from the doorway. They hadn't heard her enter the house. "Why should I have told you anything at all? Why am I not allowed to keep some things to myself?" Gabriella asked, her voice tight with anger as she prolonged her gaze at the letter Ryan now held. Ryan felt guilt wash over him at the disappointment on her face. "I am allowed to make my own decisions. I am allowed to discard whatever school I want, especially when I never sought them out. And I don't have to tell you about it."
"So you weren't even going to consider Juilliard's offer? Whatever offer that was?" Sharpay looked disconcerted, as if she was unsure what that meant to her. Ryan wanted to sigh, knowing exactly what was going through Sharpay's mind.
"No," Gabriella replied stiffly, "I put their letter in my drawer and left it there. I suppose I should have called and told them I wasn't interested."
"But it's Juilliard!" Sharpay exclaimed, making Ryan wince. "Are they beneath you? Is that it? Miss Gifted Student can't break the mold and studying dance or the arts? That's it, isn't it? You think Juilliard is second rate to Harvard or MIT? Tell me, Gabriella, do you think Ryan and I are too stupid to go to any school you choose?"
"Wow, Sharpay," Gabriella said, raising one eyebrow. "Just wow. Is that really what you think? Are you that insecure that you need me to assure you that you are picking the right school?"
"Or, maybe," Sharpay shot back, "You were waiting to see where I or Ryan or Troy were going to school so you could run as far as you could in the opposite direction, just like this summer with Oregon. Because that's your answer to everything, lately, hide until it's over."
"Sharpay, I went to Oregon this summer so that Troy would fall in love with you," Gabriella snapped in exasperation. "I had this wild hope that if I wasn't around, he would fall in love with you. Clearly, I was wrong." She let her gaze linger on Sharpay and Ryan could see that his twin was unnerved by the insinuation that she should have done more to keep Troy. He didn't like the way that a simple suggestion from Gabriella would stamp Sharpay's confidence into the ground. Especially when Gabriella rarely gave her reason to feel that way. "And I have other schools to run away to that you haven't considered, so don't worry. I may still get my supposed wish."
"You mean Cal State?" Sharpay asked, her knowledge of the school throwing Gabriella off guard and giving her a moment to collect herself from the latest blow.
Ryan riffled through the pile on the table and pulled out the unopened envelope from California State. Silently, he handed it to Gabriella who glanced at it and paused. Ryan could tell she wanted to rip it open. Her fingers trembled with the same restraint he and Sharpay had experienced only moments before. He wanted to tell her to open and share in her excitement like they would have before. Sharpay beat him to it and for the first instant since she broke up with Troy and the whole truth came out, Ryan felt like his sister's anger was misplaced.
"Well, don't just stand there. Let's hear what Cal State wants," Sharpay said snidely. "Come on, don't be shy. Ryan and I just opened ours from Juilliard. Yes, see, we weren't the only ones they are interested in."
"Congratulations," Gabriella said flatly as she gracefully opened the letter and read. Ryan watched the mask slam down over her face. "I got in. Happy?"
"That's it? You can go to Cal State next year? No balloons? No flowers? No wooing?" Sharpay scoffed and Ryan saw Gabriella physically snap with fury.
"No, Pay. They want me to consider their honours programs. And they will pay for everything: tuition, residence, books, fees, costs. They are guaranteeing me entrance into any program I want." She hesitated for a moment and then when she spoke, Ryan closed his eyes in frustration. It was rare that Gabriella lost herself in an argument, but the last few days had not been kind. "And you know what just sweetens the deal, Pay? Troy got his letter last week. Full ride no matter if he plays basketball or not."
"Ella, back off. She gets it," Ryan urged. Gabriella glared and Ryan felt her full feelings about his apparent betrayal from the neutral position he should have taken.
"No. She opened my letter because it just galled her to think that I may have done better than her. She is so desperate right now to look like the better person that she doesn't think before she speaks. I didn't tell you about Juilliard, Sharpay, because I didn't give a fuck. I ignored it and I chose not to tell you because I knew they would send to you eventually and I didn't see the point in getting antsy over it. I didn't tell you about Stanford's full ride because the moment I do, it will be all Mom talks about. I didn't tell you about any of my acceptances because it is my choice." Gabriella heaved deeply, her cheeks red and her neck flushed.
"You're just pissed because I didn't buy your pity act in the hall at school today," Sharpay weakly countered. Ryan wondered what had happened in the hall. "I wouldn't accept your guilty offering of the crown. Well, when I win, and they see you standing there-."
"I won't be standing there, Pay. If that is all that is keeping you from breaking down right now, is the fantasy of me being physically labelled as second to you, then you are wrong. I won't go. I won't take my name off of the ballot like you asked, but when they call, I will hang up. And I will skip rehearsal. And I will skip the game. Do you see the picture? When you wear that crown, you will do so alone." Gabriella stepped forward and ripped her Juilliard letter and the Vogue subscription off the table.
"Ella, I'm-," Ryan started.
"Don't bother. Tell Mom not to save me supper. I'm not hungry." Gabriella began walking down the hall to the main staircase, lifting up her bag as she went.