Ahsoka was surprised that Aidan took the news so well. It almost seemed to undermine how difficult it was for her to tell him.
She hadn't told that narrative to anyone. Not Anakin,not Bail,not even Rex. Or most importantly, Lux.
Yet, her ten year old son had heard it. Her ten year old, who had no reason to be anything but glad that he knew the truth. Aidan wasn't mature enough to be angry. Not yet, anyway. Ahsoka prayed that day never came. She already had enough feelings toward the subject. She didn't need Aidan's too.
Once again, she caught herself wishing that Aidan would never grow up.
That wish must've been universal for all parents, because anytime she spoke with Bail, he tended to agree the same about Leia.
Speaking of speaking with Bail, Ahsoka had made sure that the esteemed Senator was not going to be putting any weapons into her son's hands for a while. That was her choice. When and if she chose it.
Meanwhile, Aidan was progressing quickly, as expected, through his defenses. He seemed to inhale them, and hung onto every word, every move like his life depended on it.
And one day, it would. Ahsoka told herself. Then, she had to assure herself next: I'm doing the right thing.
She left Aidan alone to run his current kata several times in a row. He was dilligent, very dilligent at such his young age. A blessing from his father. He was dilligent to stick to his work for many times, but still easily distracted in doing so,which could be a curse from her.
It also seemed against Aidan's values to do anything by halves, or sloppy. Another blessing from his father. One that she envied, wished she had when she was younger.
Her commlink buzzed, disrupting her thoughts and causing her to scowl a bit. Bringing it to her ear, she recieved news of a new mission the rebellion had for her. A new mission- a reason to find herself away from her son. Pursing her lips in displeasure, she almost threw the commlink down instead of placing it back on her belt.
She called Aidan to her after he had completed one of his repetitions. He bounded over to her. Quickly. Immediately. Like a soldier.
"Did I do something wrong?"He asked, blue eyes wide and eager to learn.
"No."Ahsoka sighed, and cupped his cheek."Not you."
"You have to leave."He interrupted, reading her perfectly. No matter how used to it he was, he always got upset- his lower lip out in a pout.
"You know I don't like to do this, Aidan, and-"
"Can I go with you?"
He hadn't asked that in a long time. Maybe even years, not since he was too young to understand. She hadn't considered taking him anywhere with her that wasn't necessary since he had been weaned- no longer entirely dependent on her for survival.
She stopped a moment- considered it. Children were not unheard of on the rebellion base. Teens were common. Aidan would like a new environment. And several of her coworkers had been wanting to meet him- the strange,fully human-looking offspring of hers. Humans were the majority, it was safe to say.
But you are not an exhibit for them too look at. You are a strong boy- you can beat them up if they look at you too much, laugh at you, or anything. Then you come to me.
"Just remember, if I'm not around and you need something, find someone you know, like Kaeden. Remember Kaedan?"
Aidan blinked twice and nodded. Then he replied, "Okay, Mama."
"Go pack two changes of clothes, and anything you might need."
He scrambled off.
"Need!"She echoed."Not want!" Her bag was already packed- one for her was constantly ready aboard her ship. Constantly ready, a reminder of her many departures.
She turned and admired the rolling fields of Alderaan. In all its glory, it was beautiful. Quite similar to Onderon, actually.
Maybe I'll take him there, too.
oooooooooooooooooooo
Aidan froze on the way up the ramp to their ride, his boots digging into the soft, rubber covered metal.
"Am I coming back?" He asked, just to make sure.
Ahsoka couldn't bring herself to say "of course", but she gave him as reassuring a smile as she could. Aidan's head turned with the rest of his tall frame to look at the bottom of the ramp. To his home. His normal. His best friend, Leia, who he waved to one last time.
Then he finished his walk up, and Ahsoka closed the ramp behind him, heading straight for the cockpit. Aidan, however, set about exploring the meagre fighter. The two room half-kitchen,half-bed, and refresher that it housed.
"Are we gonna fit on that bed?" Was the only thing he had to report back to her when he climbed mext to her, swallowing back his fear as he looked outward to the sky.
"I usually just sleep right here on the chair." Ahsoka told him- and it was true. It was often more comfortable, with her lekku fitting easily behind the seat as she leaned back and dozed. Beds and pillows weren't always the best for her, especially with all the growing and shifting to true adulthood.
Aidan had asked her once what it felt like to have lekku and montrals. She'd told him it was uncomfortable most of the time, but it was cool to be able to hear sounds from far, far away. She would ask back what hair felt like, and he'd simply say that it was itchy.
The last person to explain hair to her had been Lux. Lux's description hadn't been as simple as "itchy". It was longer, more explanatory.
"Sometimes it gets in the way." She could remember him admitting, and she also recalled the softness of it, even after all their time spent away from adequate 'freshers during their time in the forests of Onderon. "But most of the time it's just there. It can also be soothing..." He almost purred the last word as she punctuated his statement, running her hands through his dark locks as he lay beside her, both of them blissfully unaware of what they had created-who they had created-between them, now that they had calmed down a bit.
"What I don't understand..."She'd run her over the rough beginning of whiskers."Is how you allow it on your face."
"Well, that's just me being irresponsible. And an unfourtunate side-effect of being male. Not... that you should complain." He grinned. "I doubt you'd like me if I was a girl."
"For many reasons." She indicated to the whole of him, and he chuckled, a sound that made her smile easily, quickly turning into a feral grin as she flipped herself atop him and kissed him for a change and then-
Coming back to the present, Ahsoka snorted audibly, her memory up to that point making her feel pleasant all over, and made the ends of her lekku involuntarily curl.
Aidan jumped when she snorted. Poor boy had been startled by that after her many minutes of silence.
Sorry, son. I'm used to being alone in my ship. Good thing you aren't good enough to read my thoughts.
"What were you-"Aidan giggled a bit,snorting at?"
"Nothing."She responded. "Just my thoughts..."
"Sometimes if Leia laughs too much, she snorts." Said Aidan. "One time, water came out of her nose! Senator Organa was horrified. But then he laughed too."
"Leia's an interesting girl sometimes." Ahsoka smiled. A lot like her mother.
"She's like a sister to me." Aidan told her, very serious as he turned around in his seat to avoid looking out the windows. Completelyaround, so he faced the back of the seat. "Do you think I'm like her brother?"
"I'm sure at times you can be." Ahsoka said mindfully."You two are both only children after all. As close as you are, may as well be siblings."
"I don't think I could handle more than Leia, though." Aidan said."I'm glad it's just me." He looked to her, probably expecting her to agree. To say, me too. I love you, son.
But what he had said...
I'm glad it's just me.
"Do you mean you're glad you don't have any siblings?"
Aidan shrugged. "Actually, I don't know. I wonder a lot of things, Mama."
Now, that she could agree with. She'd wondered things too, from the very beginning. She almost snorted again when she though of how convinced she was that Aidan was a girl, not a boy, and then his birth had pretty much ruined that idea. And then, when he had been four years old and unknowingly met his father, Lux, the Imperial Senator of Onderon, she wondered what it would have been like if she had seen him that day, too. If anything would have changed- or if it could, with Lux being married to another woman, having a daughter of his own.
"Me too." She finally agreed, after yet another bout of silence.
Aidan fidgeted in his seat again -as if the travel through hyperspace was making him hyperactive, and Ahsoka felt herself easily slipping into the kind of thoughts she normally had when she was alone and piloting. And she watched Aidan out of the corner of her eye as he ambled off to the small bed and climbed atop it, curling up and facing away from her. Like she was, a side sleeper.
Unlike Lux, who slept on his back and held her close- if he was only like so for that one particular night, she didn't know. But as she nestled into her pilot's chair, she imagined it, once again. That warmth, unique to Lux and his arms that had washed over her even if she was here, now, alone.
And she wondered if, on the other side of the galaxy, Lux Bonteri ever thought of her, too.