Chapter Twenty-one
JJ
Sophie fussed when nearly anyone picked her up. She flat out cried every time her diaper was changed. And JJ noticed that she didn't quite feed like Henry had. "Funny." She murmured to Will later that night.
"What is, cher?"
"She's not looking at me. Henry always looked up at me when he was eating."
"Maybe she's just tired. It's been a busy day for her."
"Yeah, that's probably it."
Sophie started screaming when they buckled her into her car seat. She screamed all the way to the car. She screamed the entire ride home. She settled to mere fussiness when JJ pulled her out and settled her to eat, but when they went to put her in her crib as soon as they laid her down she screeched.
"Okay, I am about to take her back to the hospital." JJ told Will.
"Let's call my Momma, see if she has any advice."
Based on Will's mother's advice they tried rocking, swaying, a bit of mild bouncing, but all that got was a magnificent belch and a bit of spit-up down Will's back. "That was it. She just had some gas." But the moment they put her down she screeched again.
JJ's mother suggested swaddling, wrapping her snugly in a thin blanket. That seemed to help a fair amount. "Well, all right then." JJ cooed to her daughter. But as soon as she went in the crib, there she went.
JJ's sister suggested white noise. They tried a fan, the tried the vacuum, they tried the dryer. All of the above made it worse, not better.
Hotch said Haley had had good luck with a pacifier. But that just lay in her mouth as she screamed.
The one person I'd love to ask, JJ thought, is the one person I can't.
Having run out of relatives they could call and people with children they went to work on the team. Starting from the top, "Do you have a mobile over her crib?" Rossi asked.
"Yeah."
"Try taking it down. It might be scaring her."
It was worth a shot. Will took it down and stashed it in the corner, and then they made sure she wasn't hungry and her diaper was clean, swaddled her snugly and put her in her crib.
Not a peep.
"Uh huh," Rossi said. "Keep me posted."
Sophie was born in early December. Thankfully they had a couple of loving Godparents for Henry, always able to take him around to do the usual holiday stuff while they stayed home with a newborn, or to keep JJ company while Henry went to spend time with his Dad. Of course Spencer was more than willing to stay and help out while Will took Henry to see Santa and maybe find a gift for Mom and Sophie. It's different when Spencer is around the house, JJ thought, somehow he makes it so quiet.
She came over to where Spencer was sitting with Sophie in his arms. She was utterly silent, just there while he marveled over her. "Any word from the Academy?"
"Nope."
JJ sighed. Not only was there some question of waiting until Henry was older, there was also the question of one of them transferring to a non-BAU job. Spencer teaching at the Academy was the best choice, for a lot of reasons. If they weren't hiring then they were better off staying as they were, which was impossibly hard. "I have a question for you." She told him, as she sat. "Something I probably should have asked before."
"Anything."
"Is there anything I should know? I mean, anything special I should do?" She chuckled. "You do not know how badly I wish I could call your mother for advice."
"About?"
JJ chuckled, "If she takes after her father. I hate to break it to you Spence but you're not exactly normal. You did start college at thirteen."
"Ohhh," he smiled down at Sophie, his voice barely above a whisper. "Your Mom thinks you might be a baby genius, Sophie. Are you? Hmm?" Sophie yawned and wrinkled her nose and cooed a little. "You should start reading to her."
"Read to her?" It couldn't be that simple.
"Mmm-hmm, but not just read her a story before bed. I mean…" He shifted Sophie slowly and carefully so she was sitting with her back against his chest, supported in the crook of his elbow, and gently pulled a book from his bag. "As much as possible just read to her. Read her what you're reading, read her the paper in the morning, or read her a case file. Not an eBook, real paper." He opened the book in his lap, and for a moment JJ swore Sophie was utterly fascinated.
"That's all?"
"Yeah, she'll do the rest." He held the book open and put his finger under the first words so Sophie could follow along and he kept his voice low and gentle.
"Dagonet, the fool, whom Gawain in his mood
Had made mock-knight of Arthur's Table Round,
At Camelot, high above the yellowing woods…."
JJ could feel her eyes well up with tears.
"What are you doin' there cher?" Will asked as he and Henry thundered into the kitchen
JJ was sitting in the armchair, the various bits and bobs of a nursing mother on the table beside her, her feet up on the ottoman, a quiet and content Sophie tucked in to her elbow while she read the baby the newspaper. It was just after New Years, Sophie was more or less a month old, and while the snow fell outside they were going to take down the Christmas tree. "I'm reading the paper."
"To Sophie?"
"Yeah," oh great, how to explain this one. "It's supposed to promote early literacy; I'm trying to give her an edge."
"You didn't read to Henry like that."
"He's a boy, for one, and he has his father's charm. How much more of an edge does he need?"
Will just grinned at her as he came over. "Naw, come on Sophie. You're too little to get your head stuffed with all that learning. Don't want you gettin' too big for your britches, hey." He picked her up and danced her around in a gentle circle. She promptly vomited all over his shirt and started screaming, "Aw hell."
JJ just sighed and tried to calm her down again.
Spencer
It was another late night, another quiet, moonlit night, much like the one he had spent a year ago, the night they had come back from being held in Hackett's cell. The night he had spent mourning the loss of a potential being, what he'd firmly believe would be his only night of being a father. He had honestly believed that JJ would have taken the pill that would have shifted the hormonal aspect of her uterus and made it impossible for an embryo to implant there. It had been the only logical decision.
He had never been so glad that humans were illogical.
His printer quietly hummed into life over at his desk. He still disliked computers, they gave him eyestrain if he stared at them too long, and they made it impossible to truly sort and process information. But that remote printer was turning into a godsend. JJ was keeping a digital scrapbook, as she had for Henry, ostensibly to more easily send pictures and notes about the baby to her family. And if anyone asked she'd originally posted Henry's Godfather on the mailing list for the scrapbook pages, she just didn't bother to take him off for the new baby.
Right.
As soon as the printer stopped humming he put down his tea and went to fetch the page that printed. There was a gaily decorated picture of Sophie, watching as her brother built her first snowman, complete with JJ's detailed description of the experience.
She's alive, he thought as he went and slipped the page into the album he was keeping, she's real. And even if I can't be there, at least there is this.
JJ
Time passed.
One month turned into two
Eventually Henry returned to Kindergarten, JJ returned to work, and with a new baby at home Will returned to full-time parenting, more or less. The first day back she returned home to find Will and Henry watching a hockey game, and Sophie nowhere to be seen. "Where's Sophie?" She asked.
"In her crib," Will replied. "I'm sorry, cher, but I didn't know what else to do. Every time we brought her out here she started fussing." He shook his head. "Something ain't right about that child."
JJ went in their bedroom and over to the crib below the window. Sophie was lying there, contently watching the clouds roll by. It's not ideal, she thought, I am not doing right by you. But what else can I do? At least you're safe. That means a lot, doesn't it?
JJ owned a breast pump, for the last for week of maternity leave she had tried to pack what she could into the freezer, and even once back at work she spent the first month in the BAU so she could sneak off whenever she needed to, Rossi very kindly loaning her his office for the duration given that she no longer had her own. But eventually she was going to have to return to the field, and that meant eventually Sophie was going to have to switch to formula.
Sophie was not happy with this plan.
She almost violently threw up the first six brands of formula they tried. An all-organic one their pediatrician suggested finally stayed down, but she screamed after each feeding. Eventually she started screaming when the bottle came near her. "I swear to God she would rather lie in her crib and starve than come out here with her family and eat." Will said over the phone. "I don't know what to do."
"I know." JJ sighed into the phone. She looked over at Spencer, who looked as worried as she felt, so worried that he was already hitting the antacids. He had even tried feeding Sophie, but they swore it looked like she was forcing herself to eat, like it was something dreadful she had to do.
"JJ," Rossi said, calmly. "Have him try a trick my mom used to try. After she eats, rest a bottle of warm water on her stomach. Not too hot, just a little warmer than skin. Mom used to use a hot water bottle, but you can improvise."
"Did you hear that?" JJ asked Will.
"It's worth a try."
"Okay, let me know."
Twenty minutes later Will called back. There was no sound at all in the background. "She loves it. She's happy as a clam now."
"Thank God." JJ grinned at Spencer, and then looked over at Rossi. "It worked."
Rossi nodded. "Stomach cramps. The heat eases the muscle contractions."
"Ahhh, that makes sense. You are officially my hero."
"Uh huh."
Time passed.
Winter rolled into spring.
Sophie continued to grow. Will regularly commented that she was one odd duck of a child, she didn't really smile, she didn't really laugh, and she hated lying on her stomach. Once she had the motor control when they tried to pick her up she would throw herself backward, pushing them away. She almost never looked you in the eye, and when you tried to force it she'd start crying. She hated bouncy chairs and swings, car trips and strollers. Mostly she seemed happiest in her crib, or after she got used to it, in her car seat, quietly watching him and Henry from a distance. "She just doesn't like people, I guess." He said.
"Did you say anything at her last doctors' appointment?" JJ asked him
"Naw, she's all right. She's just got her own mind is all."
Spencer
He went to visit as often as he dared. He liked to use the excuse that he wanted to give Henry some one-on-one time, while JJ and Will were wrapped up with a newborn. It was entirely true, he loved Henry, had wished he was his own son countless times. But he also wanted to spend what time with Sophie he could. Thankfully, so long as he was with this BAU team he and JJ not only saw each other at work but they had the same days off.
Today, for example, was his idea of perfection. Will had gone somewhere, he had taken Henry to see the new exhibit at the Smithsonian, and now JJ asked him to hang around and corral the kids while she took care of a few things in the kitchen. He was tucked into their big armchair with Henry at his side, Sophie propped in his elbow, a mug of coffee at hand, reading them tales of the Round Table while the rain hammered the window.
"Did your Dad read you stories, Uncle Spencer?" Henry asked.
"Not really. My Mom did all the story reading in our house. My Dad left when I was about your age."
"Oh." Henry digested this bit of information. "So who took you to the park when you were little?"
"Um, Mom, mostly."
"Who took you out to play sports?"
"After he left I didn't play sports. I didn't get to do all the nifty stuff you do with your Dad."
"Oh."
"My Mom read me stories all the time though. It was our favorite thing to do together, even when I was older." He smiled at the memory. "We still read to each other when I go out to visit."
Henry smiled. "Mom likes to read to us too. Dad doesn't, he said he doesn't want us growing up too smart for our britches."
"There is no such thing as too smart."
.
Poem excerpt is from The Idylls of the King by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. Published between 1856 and 1885 and no longer under copyright.