Chapter Twenty

"Where are you sneaking off to this morning?"

Katara jumped violently at Sokka's unexpected query, but managed to stifle the startled scream that rose in her throat as she crept through their uncle's quiet house under the cover of darkness. She had been careful not to wake her sleeping cousins as she had slipped from her bed to pull on her heavy winter wear. Once that was done, Katara knew that she only had to tiptoe through the main living area of the house before she was home free. It would be a two block run from there to Aang's guesthouse and with the sun barely peaking over the snowy plain, she was sure she'd be able to make that short jaunt mostly undetected. What she hadn't factored in was the possibility that her brother, who usually slept until late morning, would be lurking in the corner that morning as she crept through the house.

She whipped around to find Sokka in the far corner of the room, calmly packing away essentials into his knapsack. Laid out before him was the small bundle of clothing he had brought with him, at least three weeks worth of dried seal jerky, and six waterskins. Katara didn't immediately question those items because she was so irritated by the fact that he was awake at all. She was very grateful for the murky dimness because the brilliant blush that lit her features right then would have given away her guilt instantly.

"Would you stop doing that?" she hissed at him, "It's becoming a habit…and an annoying one at that!"

"I wasn't trying to scare you," Sokka replied mildly.

"Well, you did!" Katara flared crossly, "And since when have you made a habit of getting up so early anyway?"

She was mostly annoyed with him, not because he'd taken her off guard, but because he had thwarted her plans to sneak into Aang's guest home that morning and take him off guard. Time wasn't her ally. She knew Aang's next instinct would be to flee so her options were limited. If she caught Aang before he had a chance to orient himself and devise a plan to run then she'd have a better chance of convincing him that they could undo this mess. Of course, she seriously doubted that explaining to her brother that she had devised a plan to find a giant owl spirit in the middle of the desert and needed to discuss the details with Aang would go very far in convincing Sokka to let her go without a fight. When Katara examined her plan with a scrutinizing eye, even she had to admit that it sounded crazy.

And that was the problem. Katara knew intellectually that it was crazy. It boiled down to the idea that she was somehow trapped in an alternate universe that was specifically designed to keep her and Aang apart and, most cruelly, it was a universe designed to torture them with that knowledge. It sounded like the work of an enemy for sure, but Katara did not know what enemy and for what purpose he or she had done this terrible thing. That was the sticky part.

She had a plethora of theories for how she and Aang had come to be stuck in this place, but no concrete evidence to back it up. All Katara truly had to guide her was her gut and, unfortunately, her gut made her look like a raving lunatic. Her mother pitied her, but obviously didn't believe her. She had only relented in letting Katara travel to the North Pole because she had been near hysterics and, even then, Kya had sent Sokka along to be her watch-polarbear dog.

Aang knew that what she was saying was true, but he refused to let himself believe her. He had spent many years before her birth, hoping and believing that somehow he had the power to sort out the mess that had become of their lives only to have those hopes dashed again and again. Now Aang was beyond hope. He had accepted their situation for what it was and he wasn't willing to fight anymore. He wanted her to go on with her life, to find a husband and make some babies and forget the fact that they truly belonged together.

But Katara wasn't going to forget it. She didn't know how. Every day, the memories of that impossible future became more real to her than her present. It often felt like she was two people living in one body…a scared fourteen year old girl fighting for her family and a scared young woman fighting for her family. Each second that passed, however, Katara lost a little bit more of the former and felt a bit more like the latter. The more time that passed, the more impossible it became to let Aang go.

She didn't have a choice anymore. She had to make Aang believe. But that was going to take some doing considering she'd have to get past her brother first! Of all the mornings Sokka decided to be an early riser, why did he have to pick that one?

Katara was still in the middle of silently mourning that fact when Sokka said, "You still haven't answered my question…where are you going so early in the morning?"

"I like to walk sometimes!" she threw back defensively, "Is that a crime?"

"No, it's not a crime," he returned with a frowning eye roll, "I just don't want you to go too far, that's all."

That cryptic statement caused Katara to shiver with apprehension. It was then that she finally recognized that he was packing. She surveyed Sokka with narrowed eyes. "What are you doing? Are you going on a trip?"

Sokka stuffed the last of his items into his bag and cinched it tight. "We're going on a trip," he clarified, "More specifically, we're going home."

"Home?" Katara balked loudly, only to make herself and Sokka cringe when her outburst echoed through the silent house. She dutifully lowered her voice to a seething whisper when she demanded, "Why are we going home all of a sudden?"

"You know the situation is pretty bad in the Fire Nation," Sokka replied, "Aang's afraid the conflict might spill over past the nation's borders and he doesn't think we'll be safe here. I promised him that I would take you home."

Katara rocked back on her heels, caught somewhere between ironic amusement and simmering fury. "Oh, he did, did he? So this was his idea, huh?"

Sokka peered at her in surprise. "Why do you sound so mad about it? I thought since it was what Aang wanted, you'd be all for it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. You've always been pretty eager to please him in the past."

Katara's jaw knotted tightly and she crossed her arms in stubborn resistance. "Things change."

"I'm just saying that it's not a bad idea," Sokka said, "Besides, we both know that the only reason you wanted to come to the North Pole was so you could talk to Aang and now you have. So what's the big deal about leaving?"

"How do you know I've spoken to Aang?" she demanded suspiciously, "What do you know about it at all?"

"Well, when you disappeared yesterday evening and never resurfaced again, I started to get worried," Sokka informed her tartly, "I went looking for you and Aang told me that you two had talked."

"I told you that I was going to wait for him on the wall," Katara reminded him crisply.

"Sorry if I didn't expect you to stay gone that whole time, especially because I knew that Aang was with Firelord Iroh! I freaked out, okay!"

Katara managed to stamp down some of her exasperation with him at his indignant reply. "I apologize for worrying you," she stated in an even tone, "I didn't mean to do that, but… What I have to discuss with Aang is far from settled and I'm not going to go home until it is."

"If you're hoping to get it settled any time soon, I think you're in for a long wait, Katara," Sokka informed her hesitantly.

Once again, Katara leveled him with a dangerous, glittering blue glare. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that Aang is gone. He left last night with Firelord Iroh and, at least, two dozen Water-Tribe warriors. He should be crossing the Fire Nation border by now."

She shook her head in denial, her stomach doing a sickening lurch. "No…"

"He even left Appa so that we could get home faster. Katara…he's gone."

Katara felt her entire world screech to a halt. The news wasn't surprising, given what she had been expecting anyway, but that didn't make it any less devastating to hear. He had done it to her again! He had run and, what was worse, he had used her unsuspecting brother to make his escape! Katara wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. But mostly she wanted to throttle Aang for being so stupid and so blind! She wanted to hate him for not fighting as hard as she was.

It would have been so much easier if she could hate him. Then maybe she could let go like he wanted. She could shrug aside the things she had seen as easily as he did. But the fact remained that she couldn't. She ached for him. She ached for the life they had shared together. She ached for their children and the loss of those things was killing her in inches. Katara didn't understand how it wasn't killing him as well.

She sank to her knees, tears welling in her eyes and blurring her brother's image before her. "So…he's gone?"

Sokka's brow creased in a worried frown as he witnessed her devastated reaction. "Yeah…"

"I don't know why I'm surprised," she mumbled in a suffocated and weary tone, "I knew he would run. That's what he does best."

"Katara…" Sokka whispered slowly, "I know that you said that there was nothing going on between you and Aang, but I'm getting a vibe here that's making me really uncomfortable. I've been getting it from you for a while now and, last night, I got it from him as well."

"What did he say to you?"

"Nothing really. He said that I should take you home and that once I did everything would be the way it was supposed to be."

"Of course. He's the almighty Avatar. If he decrees it then it must be so," Katara bit out bitterly.

"Okay, you need to tell me what's going on! Don't tell me that I'm seeing things or making stuff up in my head! Tell me the truth! Is something going on between you and Aang?"

Katara took a breath, swallowed thickly and did something that she rarely considered doing…she told the truth. "Yes. There is."

Understandably, Sokka's reaction to that ran the gambit of emotion. At first, he was shocked, then disgusted, then flustered and finally…indignant. "I…I can't believe that he would take advantage of you that way!" he exploded angrily, "I trusted him! Dad trusted him! So what? He uses you and then runs?"

"Sokka, no—,"

A queasy look passed over Sokka's face. "Katara, you didn't…you know…with him, did you?" But before she could open her mouth to kill his mental tangent, he surged to his feet and threw up his hands in dismay, shaking them wildly. "No, never mind! I don't want to know! It doesn't matter anyway because it's still sick! What kind of grown man takes advantage of a teenage girl?"

"Sokka, it's not like that," Katara rushed to explain, "Will you calm down and listen to me?"

"Don't make excuses for him!" Sokka snapped, "You're young and you're naïve! Maybe you didn't know better, but he sure did!"

Katara didn't know whether to laugh or take offense. "As much as I appreciate the brotherly concern, Sokka, it's not necessary at all. It's not what you're thinking."

"You just told me that—,"

"—Sit down," she entreated softly before he could fly completely off the handle, "Let me explain to you from the beginning…"

At first, it was difficult to get him to listen to her. Sokka had it in his mind that she had been taken advantage of and nothing she said to him would convince him otherwise. He thought that she was only trying to justify Aang's behavior. But, as she explained things to him, he gradually began to calm down until his fury was replaced with confusion and confusion eventually gave way to incredulity.

"So…" he drawled slowly when she was done,"…basically, you're telling me that for the last six months or so, you've been having dreams about Aang where you two are together and you think that, somehow, those dreams are your reality and that none of this is real. You believe you're stuck in an alternate universe. Did I get all of that?"

"More or less."

Sokka cleared his throat, trying desperately not to appear as panicked as he felt. "Katara, I don't want to say that you sound crazy, but…you sound crazy!"

"Don't you think I know that?" she cried softly, "Why do you think I haven't said anything until now?"

"And this is what you've been so desperate to tell Aang all this time?"

"Yes."

"And how did he take it?"

"Pretty well…considering he's been having the same dreams practically his entire life as well."

Sokka's mouth fell open in disbelief. "What?"

"That's right," she confirmed softly, "Since he was twelve. That's how he knew that Sozin planned to attack the air temples and annihilate his people. He was able to reset the entire course of history based on those dreams. But, because he never got stuck in that ice, the hundred year war never happened and we never found him and…"

"…you guys never fell in love," Sokka concluded softly.

"Right. Only we did fall in love. We never fell out of it, but the situation is impossible now."

Sokka fidgeted uneasily. "Is that what Aang told you when you talked last night?"

"Are you kidding me? He'd rather cut off his right arm than admit to me that he still has feelings for me…but I know he does."

"Are you sure you're not seeing what you want to see?"

"Trust me," she insisted softly, "I know he does."

Absolutely certain that he did not want to know the reason for her steadfast conviction, Sokka said, "Katara, don't you think this sounds kind of fanciful and far-fetched?"

"Yes. I know that it does," she acknowledged thickly, "But the fact remains, it's real for me…and it's real for Aang. That's why he ran. He doesn't want to deal with it."

"Well, maybe he's right," Sokka considered, "He's over a hundred years old, Katara. You're just a girl. You guys can't be together. You know that, right?"

"All I want is to get back home," Katara replied vaguely.

Sokka wasn't satisfied with that answer at all, for multiple reasons. "But you are home!"

"No, I'm not, Sokka," she whispered, "It doesn't feel like home and it hasn't for a long time now."

"Are you seriously telling me that a reality where Aang's entire race is wiped out and our mother is dead is better for you than what you have right here and now?"

Katara flinched. "Don't do that. Don't make me feel guilty for trying to make sense of my life! That's not what I'm saying at all. I don't wish for the Air Nomads to be gone. I don't want to lose Mom," she mumbled brokenly, "But I can't stay here, Sokka. I don't belong. It's not real."

"So I'm not real? This conversation that we're having right now isn't real?"

"Stop twisting my words!"

"No, I'm hearing you loud and clear! You want this other life more than what you have right now and you're willing to do anything you can to get it!"

"That's not true!"

"Katara, did you ever consider that maybe you're taking this crush you have on Aang to an extreme?" Sokka posited, "You know you two can't be together so you've built this fantasy life in your head where you can be."

"That's a fine theory…except it doesn't explain why Aang is having the same dreams."

Sokka snapped his mouth shut. "I haven't figured that part out yet."

"Maybe that's because there's nothing to figure out, Sokka. Everything I'm telling you is true."

"And you want it to be true," he accused her darkly, "It doesn't matter what that will change or who will be lost."

Katara rolled to her feet with a small sigh of frustration. "You're taking this personally when you shouldn't," she told him, "You act like I'm doing something wrong!"

"You're being selfish!"

"I'm not being selfish!" she flashed back, "What if you woke up tomorrow and you could remember this whole other life you had lived and what if, every day, your instincts screamed at you louder and louder that the life you were dreaming about was real? And then, what if you discovered that the person you were dreaming about was having the exact same dreams? Could you ignore that, Sokka? Could you go back to the way things were before?"

"I don't know…" he admitted reluctantly after a pregnant pause, "I guess not."

"So help me," she pleaded thickly, "Please…"

Sokka splayed his hands in a helpless gesture. "What do you want me to do, Katara? I don't know how to help you! I'm not even completely convinced that you and Aang aren't nuts!"

She bit back a smile. "That's understandable considering the circumstances, but I'm still hoping that you'll be willing to help me despite that."

"What can I do?"

"Well, Aang's in denial," she considered, "He doesn't want to deal with what's happening and the conflict in the Fire Nation gives him a convenient excuse not to deal with it. That means it's up to me to find a way to get us home."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"There's an owl spirit by the name of Wan Shi Tong. He is an all-knowing spirit and he has a library on every subject imaginable. If anyone would know the secret to traveling between universes, it would be him. I have to find him."

Sokka stared at her with a comically blank expression. "You're kidding me, right?"

"He's the only one who can help me."

"Okay, wait, wait, wait…" he sighed, clearly struggling to wrap his mind around what she was saying. "You're telling me that you want to find an owl spirit who owns a library and this owl spirit can help you get back to this other universe you've been dreaming about?" Sokka shook his head and emitted a dubious snort. "This can't possibly get any weirder."

"There's just one catch," Katara pressed on, "The library is somewhere in the desert and it's buried below ground. Finding it isn't going to be easy."

"I stand corrected," Sokka uttered flatly, "It can get weirder. How are you expecting to find a library in the desert when it's buried?"

"I know someone who can help me," Katara told him, "But I'm going to need you to take me to her."

Sokka groaned. "I know I'm going to regret asking this but…where exactly is that?"

"A town called Gaoling. It's in the Earth Kingdom," she replied, "I need you to help me find a girl named Toph Beifong."