These laws were based from the "Laws of Graduation" (or something) which I got from my friend, who got it from her brother. These laws were, in turn, based from Newton's Laws of Motion, thus the similarities. XD

The Laws of Work

First Law: The Law of Procrastination

Lieutenant Hawkeye sighed. It was another day at East Headquarters, and as usual, it was another day full of work. Riza frowned as she walked towards her superior officer's table; it was overflowing with files and papers as it has always been, and with a fresh stack of paperwork in her hands, she didn't know where to place them.

Colonel Mustang looked up at her, to the papers she was holding, and back down to his cluttered desk. "More paperwork. How fun," he said monotonously as he glared at the papers that were placed on top of his desk, willing them to disappear though he knew it was impossible. "They never stop coming, do they?" Roy folded his arms across his chest as he leaned back into his chair.

"They probably will once you start working on them, sir." Riza replied before walking back to her desk to finish her own paperwork. Hers was nothing compared to Roy's though.

Roy wasn't the only one encountering problems with the papers; the other men—Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Fuery—also had a lot in their hands. This wasn't a surprise for Riza though; she'd been working with them for such a long time now, and… well, you could say she already knows their ways with work. Always waiting for the deadline, for the last minute—that is, unless she takes action quickly.

What kind of action, you ask?

Click. The room fell silent. Click. A couple of nervous gulps and glances. And the room remained in silence, all except for the sounds of flipping pages and scratching pens.

Colonel Mustang and his men will remain in procrastination unless acted upon by an external force (i.e. Lieutenant Hawkeye's gun threats).

Second Law: The Law of Motivation

It was already midday and the sun was out of sight, hidden by the thick storm clouds that graced the sky, or perhaps it was the fogged up windows that blocked the sun (and snow) outside. But most of all, it was cold. Instead of white snow littering the office, it was the white of papers in Colonel Mustang's office.

And although it really should be warmer inside, it wasn't; the men in Mustang's unit were shivering. They could hardly do any work, as they were more concerned with warming their hands than getting them to sign papers. But why are they cold? They surely have their coats, right? No one in their right mind would go out in the middle of winter without the right clothes.

But if you work with Lieutenant Hawkeye, it's highly likely that they'll get confiscated. No, Riza is not a sadist (no, she's more like a slave driver), she's just trying to make favorable outcomes from this seemingly unproductive atmosphere in Eastern HQ.

"You're horrible, Lieutenant Hawkeye," Havoc said, his voice quivering. "No coats, no tea, no coffee, no hot chocolate—no warm thing until we finish our work?! But this is going to take forever! We're going to freeze to death before we finish all of this!"

Despite her comrade's desperate complaint, Riza did not give in. Although Riza was kind, she was also strict. Very strict. "Just think that down here, we're already very warm. Imagine all the others up at North Headquarters. Or even worse, up at Briggs. It's much, much colder there." she said. In her arms she held several black coats—all belonging to her fellow soldiers.

"At least they get to keep their coats! Even Major General Armstrong wears her coat all the time!"

Riza turned to look at her superior, Roy Mustang. He wasn't doing his work either; he was curled up in his chair, trying to warm himself even for a little bit. But upon catching Riza's gaze, he sat up properly, picked up his pen, and sighed, "Just do the work; the longer we try to postpone it, the longer she's going to keep the gloves, scarves, coats, and coffee."

A small smile crept up to Riza's lips. She nodded.

"Wow, Chief," Havoc mumbled as he picked up his pen and continued his work. "I never thought I'd hear that from you."

The age (a) of the work process is directly proportional to the object fancied (F) which is held hostage by the adjutant and is inversely proportional to the motivation (m) shown by the officer. As the motivation goes to zero, the age of work extends to infinity, and thus, the object fancied can never be attained.

Third Law: The Law of Distraction

It was the first time it ever happened in East Headquarters. And because it was the first time, the men in Colonel Mustang's team were rather amazed at the new gift from Lieutenant Colonel Hughes of Central. Central was very much ahead of the times when it came to innovations like these; imagine how a small cube with different colors can amaze grown, adult men.

Ah, the wonders of the Rubik's cube. The small package from the Lieutenant Colonel arrived on Roy's desk yesterday morning. They were apprehensive of opening it at first, for they feared that it might be a photo album of Elysia or something of the sort. But it wasn't. It was a toy; just a harmless little toy—or so they thought.

Lieutenant Hawkeye was pretty lax yesterday, letting the men play and take their turns with their new-found hobby. To her, it seems you just had to mess up the colors and try to fix the cube in the fastest way possible, by turning and twisting it. It required logic. But they were talking about things like permutations and algorithms (they were reading the manual).

But she couldn't just let them play all day, and she made sure they knew that. So the cube-twisting stopped. The multi-colored Rubik's cube sat on top of Colonel Mustang's desk, untouched and unsolved. All seemed well; the boys were disciplined.

That is, until she stopped looking. An opening! Colonel Mustang snatched the cube from atop his desk and hid it away from the Lieutenant's view. With one hand, he struggled to twist the pieces of the cube, trying to solve it while at the same time, reading the documents on his desk. Multitasking, you could call it. It seemed fine at first, until his other hand involuntarily let go of his pen, and his eyes were stuck on the colored squares instead of the black text on his work.

Of course, the Colonel wouldn't get away with playing the cube. The sound of the twisting cube reached the ears of the other men quickly, and they were now arguing, albeit silently, over who would get to solve the cube next. Colonel Mustang had already finished solving the cube when the others had finished their "argument". It seems Havoc won this round; Roy twisted the cube out of its order and quickly threw it over to Havoc.

Lieutenant Hawkeye was watching them behind the documents she was reading.

She'll let it pass. They'll get bored with it eventually.

Or not. Havoc was taking a long time to solve it, and the others were getting impatient. So impatient they were already watching him attempt to solve the cube, and they have completely neglected their paperwork. "Okay, that's enough, save it for later," Lieutenant Hawkeye said quietly as she stood up and took the cube from Havoc's hands. They all wore faces of shock.

Lieutenant Hawkeye sat down behind her desk again. Mission: Confiscate the Cube – Successful. She stared down at the Rubik's cube she held in her hand. After a moment of thought and a few quick twists and turns, the cube was in order, and Lieutenant Hawkeye picked up her pen and resumed her work as usual. The men exchanged surprised looks before turning to finish their own works as well.

For every action towards work, there is an equal and opposite distraction.


A/N: The second law is quite confusing, yes? XD In simpler terms, I guess it just means that the length of time it takes you to finish your work depends on what the incentive is, and on how motivated you are to get that incentive. So it follows that… if the prize or merit for doing something is not worth or to equal the work you're doing, you'd be less inclined to do the work. XD I hope that made sense. XD

Thank you to my wonderful beta, Mere! :)

(Submitted for the FMABBC. XD)